ooooooooo
Savannah
Telling Micha about Tim was not on my ‘to do’ list today. I’d hoped to never have to deal with it, but Danny took care of it for me. I’d thought he was young enough that he’d forget. I honestly had prayed that he’d forget, but I guess that wasn’t the case. Micha was the exact opposite of Tim, and as we made our way back to my apartment, I repeated it to myself.
“Let’s get you out of these sandy, wet clothes.” I directed Danny to the bathroom. “You need a bath before you climb into bed.”
“Dos I have to?” Danny stuck his lip out as I pushed him along.
“Yes. You do.” I laughed lightly as we crossed the threshold of the bathroom. I turned the water to warm, and filled the bathtub. Danny wrestled with his wet trunks for a few moments before he gave up, sighed, and stepped up beside me.
“Hwelp,” he whined dejectedly.
“This isn’t easy for anyone, buddy.” I tugged at the fabric until it began to slide down his legs. After lifting him into the tub, I went to work washing the sand out of his hair. He was covered in it, and with the sunscreen and sweat, the booger didn’t smell so great either.
“You played hard today. You ready for bed?” I lifted him from the tub and wrapped a fluffy towel around his tiny body.
“Yeah.” He yawned. One thing about my son, he didn’t fight sleep when he was truly tired. On days like today, he went willingly and didn’t take long to crash either. I knew Micha was sitting in my living room not so patiently waiting on me.
“Let’s get you dried off and into some clean jammies.” I rubbed the towel over him before carrying him into his room. After slipping into jammies, I tucked him in, and kissed his forehead. “Night, buddy,” I whispered as I turned on the nightlight, and pulled the door to a crack. When he didn’t answer me back, I knew he was already out.
ooooooooo
When I reached the living room, Micha was pacing back and forth. He was mumbling something under his breath, and shaking his head. “You make a habit of talking to yourself now?” I mumbled as I stepped around him and into the kitchen. I needed to unpack my bag from the beach, and I was dying to get out of my wet sandy suit too.
“Who’s Tim?” Micha stopped, stared at me as if he was trying to gauge my reaction, and then stalked over to where I was standing.
“I met him right after Danny was born. We dated. It didn’t end well,” I muttered as I pulled items out of my bag.
“What do you mean, didn’t end well?” He leaned against the counter.
“I mean, he turned out to be a real asshole, and I left him.” I refused to look at him. I didn’t want to do this. Tim had fooled all of us. He wasn’t who he seemed to be, and getting away from him was the best thing I could have done for myself and Danny.
“Savannah,” Micha placed his hand on my shoulder, “I need you to talk to me.”
“There’s nothing to say, really. I’m not with him anymore, and that’s that.” I shrugged as I stepped away from him.
“Why did Danny think he was his father?” Micha’s eyes followed me as I moved around the tiny space.
“Because Tim taught him to say Dada when he was baby, and I never corrected him. I didn’t think I’d ever be back here, and the idea of Tim raising him didn’t bother me at the time.”
“Why do I think there’s more to this?” He narrowed his eyes.
“Because you’re you, but there isn’t. I’m here, end of story.” I shrugged again. “Now, if you don’t mind… I’d like to take a shower and get this sand off.” I motioned to the door, hoping he’d get the idea and leave.
“I don’t mind. I need to get the sand off too. Maybe I could help you.” He winked as a wolfish grin spread across his face.
He stepped toward me, but I put my palm up and pushed against his chest. “I can shower on my own. Thanks.”
“You used to love my help. Remember that night at the cabin?” His voice lowered to a whisper. “Remember how I washed your hair, and ran my hands over you?”
“I remember that it was Brittany’s cabin. How is she, by the way?” I flipped my hair over my shoulder and looked up at him.
He rubbed his hand along his jaw as he chuckled. “Not sure. We aren’t seeing each other anymore.” That was new, and if I was being honest with myself, I didn’t really believe him.
“Since when?”
“Since I decided that I needed to grow up and be the man that you always thought I was.” His eyes soften for a moment before the player came back into the picture. “Go on a date with me.”
“No.” I shook my head, but my body gave me away. I did remember the cabin. I remembered how I gave myself to him that night. I remember everything about that trip, and on days when I’ve wanted to give up and cry, those memories are where I go to smile. I remember Micha with fondness, but that’s all it can be right now, memories.
“Your body isn’t agreeing with your words. I can see it leaning towards me. You miss me. You miss my touch, and what it does to you. Aren’t you curious at all about what we’d be like now that we’re older?”
“No.” I swallowed.
“Just one date.” He leaned down and whispered right beside my ear, “Give me a chance to show you.”
“No.” Tears sprang to my eyes. I still loved him, but right now wasn’t about me, it was about my son. “I think you should go.” I stepped around him, and opened the front door.
“I’ll leave, but I’m not giving up. I’m going keep asking, and eventually you’re going to say ‘yes’.”
“Don’t hold your breath.” I shook my head as he stepped outside and closed the door and locked it. I took a deep breath and attempted to collect myself. I needed to be strong for Danny right now. There was way too much going on in our lives for me to start something up with Micha again, and what happened if things didn’t work?
Chapter 19
Micha
Ever woke up and had that feeling that something big was going to happen? It’s like your brain knows that you’re going to be put through the wringer, and it’s trying to prepare you? Today has been that day for me. I had a dream last night about Savannah. We were just getting to the good part when my alarm went off. I woke up with a hard on, and was trying to hump the bed in my sleep. I didn’t have time to take care of things either. Needless to say, I’ve been in a bad mood all morning.
The tractor broke down again, but I think we actually have it in our budget to buy a new one this fall. I’ve been harassing Max for months about it. My mother used to do our finances, but ever since Max took over, the books have been a lot tighter. You’d think we were struggling with the way he’s been carrying on.
After that, Hailey called me to come up to the stand. She had a customer who was upset over the fruit selection we had at the moment. When I got there, I thought she was going to throw something at the lady. They were in a standoff of sorts, and the lady was glaring at her. I didn’t know the woman, so I figured she was new in town and didn’t know our schedule. It didn’t seem to matter though because she didn’t want to listen to me either.
I thought my day wasn’t going to get any crazier, but the hospital called with my results. They wouldn’t tell me anything over the phone; they wanted me to come in. How do doctors expect you to go back to work after they tell you something like that? I mean, I can’t work now. So, I’m currently jogging to the stand from the back field so I can tell Savannah. Whether this is good news or not, I want her to be there so we can discuss the next step together.
ooooooooo
Savannah
“So what did they say?” I’ve been bouncing my leg like crazy as we drive to Dr. Bentley’s office.
“Nothing.” Micha sighed. “They said we have your results and would like to discuss them with you in person.”
“That’s it?” I twisted my hands nervously.
“That’s it.” Micha nodded as he made another turn. He reached over and grabbed my hand. “I’m nervous too.�
�
“I just want this to work. Danny’s been through so much, and I want him to be able to do the things that kids his age should be doing without having to worry about how it’ll affect him.” My heart sped up as we pulled into the medical center.
Micha parked, and then turned to me. “You ready?”
“I am, are you?” I chewed my lip.
“Sure.” He shrugged.
“Do you have any idea what you’re going to go through for this? It’s painful, and you’ll need recovery time.”
“He’s my son. I’d die for him if it meant he could live.” His eyes were stoic as he stared at me. “You underestimate me, Savannah. I meant it when I said I’d do whatever it takes.”
“I just,” I sniffed. “I want you to know what you’re volunteering to do. I want you to do this because you want to not because you think you have to.”
“I do want to.” He smiled before opening his door and climbing out.
oooooooo
The cool air conditioning of the medical center was a relief after the heat of the August sun. I’d forgotten how hot the summers were here after moving away. Now, it was reminder of what I’d left behind.
Micha checked in, and then we sat and waited, and waited, and waited. It seemed like the minutes ticked by like days. In reality we’d probably only been there for a half hour, but it felt way longer.
“Micha Stanton?” A nurse stood at the doorway. “Dr. Bentley will see you now.”
I stood, along with Micha, and we followed the nurse down a long hallway. I knew the route like the back of my hand. I’d been here before, and most doctor’s offices had basically the same layout. Dr. Bentley’s office was at the end of the hallway. It was a corner office with plush brown leather chairs in front of a giant desk. There were pictures all over the walls of children of all ages.
The nurse motioned for us to have a seat. I sucked in a deep breath before slowly letting it out. I glanced at Micha, and then took the seat closest to the door. It was a habit I developed after Danny was first diagnosed. I became so overwhelmed at my first appointment with him that I had to bolt out of the office. I became claustrophobic, and had a panic attack. Now, I always take the seat closest to the door. It seems to help some.
Micha rubbed his palms on his thighs, a habit he’s had since high school, before sitting in the other chair. Within a few minutes, Dr. Bentley came through the door. “Afternoon.” He smiled softly. He was an older gentleman with white hair. His glasses sat perched on the tip of his nose, and his lab coat hung loosely on his body. “I wanted to bring you in because I wanted to talk about the next step.”
“So he’s a match?” I sprung forward, almost falling out of my chair.
Dr. Bentley glanced at Micha, who nodded before answering me. “Yes, he’s a match.” A small smile graced his face as he moved a pile of files to the side of his desk. “I don’t get to give news like this as often as I’d like, but today is good.”
“Today is great!” I grinned as tears began cascading down my cheeks.
“Yes, I would say so.” He smiled at me before turning toward Micha. “We need to discuss your donation and recovery.”
“Sure.” Micha seemed so calm and collected. I wasn’t sure if everything that was being discussed was actually registering for him.
“I need to get Danny in for another round of chemotherapy. He’ll need to stay in the hospital during that treatment. We’re going to wipe out his system. Once we’ve done that, we can move on to the transplant.” Dr. Bentley turned more toward Micha. “We’ll do the procedure here at Dalton General. You can come in the morning, and should be free to leave by midafternoon, unless we have some sort of complication. I don’t see that happening for you. You’re young and healthy. It should be a pretty simple procedure for you.”
“Okay.” Micha nodded.
“We’ll drill in on each side of your pelvis to retrieve the marrow. Once we’ve got what we need, we’ll move you to recovery. Once you’re able, you can go home to rest. I can give you something for the pain.” Dr. Bentley smiled before turning toward me. “Danny will need to come in as soon as possible. It may take up to a week to get him conditioned to receive the marrow. Once he’s ready, we’ll put in a central line, and start the transplant.”
“Okay.” I nodded slowly. Telling Danny he was going to have to go through more chemo was not something I wanted to do. His last round made him so weak he could barely sit up in bed. He was just starting to get his hair back, and now I was going to have to do it all over again.
“Savannah?” Micha patted my thigh. “Are you ok?”
“Yes.” I nodded numbly. “I’m just trying to take it all in.”
“You are welcome to stay with him, Miss Lucas. There will be sterile gowns and masks right outside his door.”
“I know the rules.” I sighed. Danny became very accustomed to hugging the yellow paper gowns I had to wear.
“Think of it this way. If the transplant takes, then you could be done with this place for a very long time.” Dr. Bentley smiled as he pushed back from his desk. “I’m going to pass all the info onto Sarah, and she can set you both up. I’d like to get things underway soon.”
“Thank you, doctor,” I mumbled as I twisted my fingers together.
“This is a good thing.” Micha grabbed my hand. “Why aren’t you happy about this?”
“I am happy. I promise I am. It’s just…” I turned to stare out the window.
“Just what?” Micha scooted closer. “Talk to me.”
I sighed. “I’m happy. It’s not that at all. This is new for you. Getting good news, or hope. It’s all new for you. I’ve been here when things were supposed to be good. I’ve been here when they didn’t work out. I’ve felt the crushing doubt, the bad news, the failed attempts. I’ve been here when things that were supposed to work, didn’t.” I glanced up to see shock spread across Micha’s face. “I’m not trying to scare you. I’m trying to prepare myself in case this doesn’t work. We could do everything right, and it still might not work. You get that, right?”
“I’m sorry.” He slowly stood and shuffled over to the wall of pictures.
“You have nothing to be sorry for. You didn’t cause this.” I furrowed my brow.
“Look at all these kids. How could a world that’s so good to some, be so cruel to others?” He turned to look at me.
“When you figure that out, let me know.” I too, stood and moved to look at the photos. “These are success stories.” I waved my arms at the photos. “Maybe Danny will be up there soon.”
“But how many failures were there along with these?” When he turned toward me, I saw unshed tears in his eyes. It was the first time in my life I’d seen Micha cry.
“You can’t think that way.” I grabbed his hand and squeezed. “We have to be positive.” Micha nodded and we headed to the front desk where we met up with Sarah. After getting everything scheduled, we walked back out to Micha’s truck. “Wanna stay for dinner tonight?” I chewed my lip as I climbed in.
“Sure.” Micha shrugged. “What brought this on?”
“I have to tell Danny that he’s starting more chemo next week. It’s not going to be pretty. I think he’ll take it better if you’re there,” I muttered as I fastened my seatbelt.
“Are you using me as a buffer?” Micha chuckled.
“Maybe.” I shrugged.
“It’s fine. I’ll be your buffer whenever you want.” He cranked the engine.
“Thanks.” I smiled as we pulled out of the medical complex.
“It’s nothing.” He laughed again. “I’d do pretty much anything for you and our son. I hope you believe that.” He glanced at me as we drove along.
“I’m starting to,” I murmured, and I was. I was beginning to see the Micha that I knew years ago. The nice guy who would give his last dollar to help someone in need.
“Good. Because I’m not done yet.” He winked. “I’m going to show you that we’re meant to be togeth
er. We always were. Nothing’s changed.”
Chapter 20
Savannah
When we pulled up to the front of my apartment, I could hear music coming through the door. “What’s going on in there?” Micha’s brow furrowed.
“Dance party.” I shrugged as if it was nothing. “We used to have them all the time when Danny couldn’t go outside. It gets him exercise, and he loves music.” I unlocked the door, and slowly opened it. I wanted Micha to see this without Danny knowing we were watching.
As the door opened, I peered around it to see my father bouncing on his toes and twisting around the room. Danny was jumping on the couch like a trampoline as Pitbull blared through the living room speakers. “He’s not supposed to jump on the furniture,” I muttered as I rolled my eyes.
“I wasn’t supposed to do that either when I was a kid, but that never stopped me.” Micha laughed. Just then, Danny’s eyes connected with ours and he stopped bouncing.
“Busted,” he grumbled as he sat down, and my dad spun to face me.
“We were just…” he trailed off as I nodded.
“Breaking the rules?” I placed my hands on my hips and gave my dad the look. The one that said you know I don’t allow this.
“Maybe.” He laughed as he lowered the volume on the stereo. “He doesn’t get to laugh much though, so I thought…”
“It’s fine.” I stepped over the threshold, and waved my arm to Micha. Once inside, he went straight to Danny and offered him a fist bump.
“Where’s you been?” Danny eyed us skeptically.
“The doctor’s office. We’re going to talk about it after dinner.” I set my purse down and motioned for my dad to follow me into the kitchen. I could hear Danny and Micha talking about Paw Patrol in the living room, so I figured I was safe for a little while.
“Well?” My dad leaned against the counter and crossed his arms.
“He’s a match.” I smiled. It was the first time that I really felt the relief that I’d always thought this news would bring.
One Last Time (The Stanton Brothers) Page 13