“I understand. But I ask that you let me talk to her, or be there with her in the room. She hasn’t had much face time with Teag but she trusts me. She knows me.”
“And if King Teag says no?” Tore crosses his arms across his chest.
“He can say no all he wants, Tore. But I can force my way in that room if need be. I’m not negotiating this. I’m just suggesting that Teag allow me to be in there.” I bare my teeth in a semblance of a smile. “If anyone else upsets Arela, I won’t be held responsible for my actions. She’s been through more than anyone should have to. All because of her association with me. I won’t be the cause of any more emotional trauma. And I won’t stand by while anyone inflicts any on her either.”
I leave Tore standing there and head to talk with Arela about what’s to come. She probably won’t like it, but knowing her, she’ll put on a brave front and do it. I only hope that she knows that no matter what happens we will all be there to catch her and hold her when she needs to let go of all of the pain.
CHAPTER
FOUR
Arela paces in front of me and I watch her with a frown marring my lips. We’re waiting in the main hall for King Teag to finish up some meeting that popped up. It’s Arela, Eryn, Dare, and me. My ever-present guards are posted around the room, keeping an eye on things as well.
“Arela, why don’t you come sit. Drink some tea or something?” I try to move my lips into a semblance of a smile, but I’m pretty sure I miss the mark.
“No. I’m okay.” She continues pacing.
I look to Eryn. “Where are Anarchy and Chaos? They’re always with her now.”
Eryn shrugs. “I’ll go find them. They’re probably with the other baby gargoyles she’s taken in.”
“What baby gargoyles? Taken in? What?”
“According to Arela, Anarchy and Chaos led her to a group of baby gargoyles hiding in the library. She’s taken them in, and when she’s not with them, she orders Anarchy and Chaos to stay with them.”
“Interesting. What is she, the gargoyle whisperer?” I’m only kind of kidding. I’d had no idea that Arela had adopted more gargoyles other than my own. I try not to beat myself up about not knowing everything that’s happening with Arela. Between getting knocked on the head, maneuvering a political land mine, and everything else, I was bound to miss something.
“She might be. She seems to have an affinity for them. And they keep her calm and busy. Brodie’s been helping her learn all about them.”
“Has he now?” I look around. “And where is Brodie? Arela wanted him here.”
“He’s on his way, I think. I told Puck to find him and tell him to get here. He went to collect some herbs with Amren. They’ve been gone for a few hours. Anyway, I’ll go check on Anarchy and Chaos.”
“Thanks, Eryn. I appreciate it.” I walk over to Dare, who’s standing against the wall watching Arela pace. “Hey, have you seen Puck? I haven’t seen him in a while but Eryn said she just talked to him.”
Dare’s face closes off and I glower at him.
“Spit it out, Dare.”
“I have no idea where Puck is. I do know that he’s been avoiding you out of fear for his own life.”
I look upward. “Beforehand I would have said he’s a smart man. But now, we need him. And he’s avoiding me like a little girl.” I step away from Dare and inhale a large breath. “Puck! Puck, you tricky bastard, get over here or down here or whatever direction. Get here.” I look around the room, waiting for him to appear, but nothing happens. Everyone is watching me with wide eyes and their mouths wide open. “What? It’s the only way I know of to get him here.”
“You rang?” Puck’s honey-sweet voice drawls from behind me.
I spin to face him. “Well, lookie who it is. Nice of you to join us, Puck.” I can’t keep the sarcasm out of my tone, but I do try to smile at him. He betrayed my trust when he got Cashel out of the prison he was rotting in. And he helped him find me. I can’t overlook that because his actions inadvertently led to Arela being kidnapped. I also can’t overlook the fact that, because of his meddling, we caught Odaine in her lies. Part of me wants to punch him in the face while the other part wants to applaud his trickery for exposing the queen. When you deal with the trickster, it’s a gamble. Luckily the queen lost and we won.
“Ever. What can I do for you today?”
I look pointedly at Arela. “You can get Brodie here. Arela wants him here when the king questions her about what she knows about Odaine and Cashel.”
Puck looks over at Arela and releases a heavy sigh. “I don’t think Arela wants anything from me, Ever.”
“Ho—”
“I can speak for myself, Ever. Hello, Puck. Do you know of a way to get Brodie and Amren back more quickly?” Arela walks a few steps closer to where Puck and I stand and I watch her closely.
“Hello, Arela.” Puck’s tone is soft while he addresses Arela. Almost as if he’s afraid to startle her. “Yes, I do. I didn’t think you’d want my help after everything.” Puck stares down to his feet, and when he looks up, his gaze lands everywhere but on Arela.
She steps forward until she’s standing right in front of him. “Puck, look at me.” She dips her head and tries to catch his gaze. “Puck, it wasn’t your fault. You didn’t know that all of that would happen. I don’t blame you.”
Arela’s words punch a hole in my chest as I listen to her. She’s so naive with certain things, but she’s always proven to be wise beyond her years. Puck didn’t know what would happen, but he had to have known that it wouldn’t be good. He’s been around for a long time, and even though I’d love to be the bigger person and forgive him as Arela has, I don’t think I’m ready yet.
Puck looks up and meets Arela’s stare head on. “I blame me, Arela. I should have known better than to release him from where he was. I had no idea of their plans, but I should have found a way out of the favor. I am so sorry.” His voice cracks and Arela steps forward. She hugs him and Puck’s shoulders shake as she offers him reassurance in defense of his actions.
“Don’t blame yourself, Puck. Let it go. Everything is fine now. We will all need each other in the coming months.” Arela looks over to me and tilts her head at Puck.
I debate what it will cost me to grant Puck forgiveness even if I’m not sure I’m ready to give it. Probably nothing more than bruised pride on my end. I miss the days when I was allowed to carry a grudge for as long as I wanted and it didn’t cost me anything. But now with the Order and Cashel and my uncle decreeing the Declaration no more, I can use all the help I can get. I step toward Puck and he winces. “I’m not going to hurt you, Puck. Arela’s right. We’re going to need each other in the coming months. I forgive you for what happened.” I clasp my hands in front of me and rock back on my heels.
“You forgive me?” Puck eyes me like he doesn’t quite believe me.
“Yes, I forgive you. We’re good, Puck. Honest.”
“I hate to interrupt, but I’m ready for you now.”
I frown and look toward Teag, who’s leaning a shoulder against the entryway. About time he appeared. I bite my lip to keep from voicing my opinion and head toward him. Arela falls into step beside me and I wrap my arm around her.
“You ready?” I squeeze her against me.
She looks up at me with her magenta and teal-colored eyes shimmering with sadness and I want to declare we aren’t doing this right now. Before she was taken, she was serious but always looked toward the bright side of things. Her smile was quicker and her laughter flew freely. Now, she’s always serious, and getting a laugh out of her is like trying to get a troll to let you pass his bridge without giving him anything. Next to impossible. I look around for Brodie. He’s the only one who seems to bring out the old carefree Arela but I don’t see him. Damnit.
“Brodie’s not here yet. We can wait for him if you want.” I offer the option as a last-ditch attempt to give her more strength as she’s forced to relive the horrors that happened to her.
Her body shakes against mine and I have to bite my lip to keep from shielding her from all of the ugly in the world. I have to trust her when she says she can do something. That’s the only way she’ll grow and put this shit behind her.
“Okay, let’s do this then. I’m right here with you. Any time you want to stop, just say so and consider it done, okay?”
She squeezes me again and steps through the door into the war room ahead of me. I stop for a second and collect myself. Few breaths in, few breaths out. I’ve got to be strong for her. Later, when she’s okay and done with this, I can fall apart and scream at the injustice of it all. For now, I need to be her backbone, her rock. Because even though I know she’s strong, I know that even the strongest of substances can be blown to bits if they’re hit with the right amount of force.
*
My hands are numb from sitting on them for the past hour. It’s the only reason I’ve lasted this long without dragging Arela out of the room and cursing Teag and his need to know the truth. I understand that he has to know the breadth of Odaine’s betrayal, but every time Arela wipes a tear from the corner of her eye, my blood boils and rage courses through me like wildfire.
Dare’s hand on my thigh isn’t helping matters either. More than once he’s squeezed my thigh when I’ve tensed to jump into action. Each time I almost lose it, shame at my inability to be the stable rock Arela needs washes over me. How can I tell her to stay calm when I’m ready to spring from my chair at any given moment?
“I know this is hard, Arela, but I need you to tell me what Cashel said to you the day that we found you.” Teag’s tone is gentle but his eyes are hard.
Arela looks to me and I smile as encouragingly as I can. “Cashel was telling me how no one would suspect that he was working with a Pooka and that he has friends in the Unseelie Court. Between his gloating, he was telling me how he would kill me and why he would kill me.” Her shoulders shake and she clenches her hands on the scarred wooden table. “He told me that my blood is dirty and that I’d be killed like the rabid animal that I am. He wanted to make sure that my outside reflected the ugliness of my insides.”
Tears splash her cheeks and I shift in my seat. Dare rubs my thigh reassuringly and I grind my teeth.
“Cashel said that the Order of Íonachta believes in purity and that they are going to help him purify the elves. Even the Dark Elven Kingdom. He told me that the Order has members in every court, including the Seelie, Unseelie, Pixies, and last but not least, MECA. He told me that he was a part of getting Ever and her crew suspended because she’s a threat to the Declaration.”
“Is that all?” Teag asks.
“Besides what I already told you about how he plans to kill you and King Caddox and unite the Goblin and Light Elven Kingdoms with Ever at his side, that’s it. I was in and out after that. That was when the Goddess appeared to me and told me that I had to survive because Ever is going to need me in the coming years.”
“And what will Ever need you for?” Teag narrows his eyes.
“Your guess is as good as mine, King Teag. The Goddess hasn’t appeared to me since.” Arela sniffles and wipes her tears on her sleeve before meeting Teag’s stare. “All I know is that if we start to fight amongst ourselves based on assumptions and suspected motives, then Faerie will fall apart faster than we can blink. Ever isn’t trying to overthrow you, so get that thought out of your head.”
My head jerks back in surprise and I look to Teag. “You think I want your throne? What the hell would give you that idea?”
Teag shakes his head. “That’s a topic for another time. Arela, thank you for your time. I know it wasn’t easy and I apologize for that. I have to make sure I know everything before I can sentence Odaine.”
Arela stands and looks across the table at Teag. “I understand. You loved her once. It isn’t an easy task to be king when those closest to you betray you.” With that she walks out, Eryn hot on her heels.
“Don’t think this conversation is over, Teag. Rest assured though that I don’t want your throne. The only thing I want is to be free of this gods damned prophecy and for everyone I love to be safe.”
I don’t wait for his rebuttal before I saunter from the room and follow after Arela and Eryn. I catch up to them as they sit down in a back corner of the library I haven’t spent much time in. Little chitters sound and I smile. This must be where the baby gargoyles are hiding out.
I stop next to Eryn, who’s sitting a few feet back from where Arela is leaning over a windowsill covered in little pillows and different-colored fabrics. “Is she okay?” I whisper the words in the hope that Arela isn’t listening and is focused on her charges.
“She’s bouncing from angry to scared to hurting. But mostly she’s determined to overcome everything. I think she’ll be okay in a little bit, after she can process everything.” The side of Eryn’s mouth tips up and I nod.
“Okay, just keep an eye on her. Make sure that someone is always with her so if she needs someone to lean on, she has it.”
“Will do.” Eryn picks up a book from the table in front of her and starts reading and I move to Arela’s side.
“Hey, how you doing?”
“I’ll be okay. I just want to sit and watch these guys for a little while. Is that okay?”
“Of course it is.” I run my hand down her hair and lean over her shoulder to get a better look at the gargoyles. I blink in surprise as I see that their little alcove goes down into the wall in a sort of hidden passage way. There are at least twenty of the little monsters not including Anarchy and Chaos, who jump toward me as soon as they see me.
I scratch under their chins and coo softly to them. They bonded with me, but when Arela needed them, they flew to her side. I’m no longer sure if they’re mine or they’re hers, but I can’t deny that my heart fills with joy when they’re around me. Something about their happy-go-lucky spunk makes me grin like a lunatic.
“So what about these little guys? Are they going to be the same size as these two?” I point at Anarchy and Chaos and Arela shakes her head.
“No, I don’t think so. A few of them will be, but I think most of them are going to be about the size of large dogs and three or four of them are going to be the really big ones. Kind of like the size of your SUV. How cool is that?”
“Wicked cool. You know I’ve met a few of the really big gargoyles. They’re like overgrown puppies. They just want to hang out with you and play fetch.”
“Really? You have? Tell me everything.” Arela turns so she’s facing me, half of her attention on the babies and the other half on me.
“Well, Dare and his brothers have two that defend their manor in the human realm. They’re bigger than my SUV. They’re scary at first, but once they take your blood and know that you’re pure of heart, they just want you to scratch behind their ears.”
Arela giggles and looks down at the babies. A few are curled up together sleeping but two of them are crouched low, growling at each other with their miniature stone wings pulled back. She snaps her fingers twice and they both turn their smooshed-up angry faces at her.
“None of that. Don’t make me separate you two again.” Her tone is stern, and as soon as she purses her lips, they both plop their little bottoms down and stare up at her innocently.
“Seems like you’ve got an affinity for these wee beasties. You think you’re going to handle them for the Goblin Army when you get older?”
“I’m not sure. When Anarchy and Chaos showed them to me, I knew that I had to help care for them and raise them. Something inside me pulled me toward them and now I can’t learn fast enough. They fascinate me. Maybe one or two of them will be my own little Anarchy and Chaos.” She runs her finger down Anarchy’s and Chaos’ snouts before looking back at me.
“I think that you’ve got Anarchy and Chaos for as long as you want or need them. They’ve bonded
with you too, you know.”
“I know. But they’re truly yours. They’re only on loan to me.” She shrugs a shoulder and reaches above her head for a book that’s perched precariously on a shelf. “Do you mind if I keep reading about them?”
“Not at all. Pass me a book too. It’s been a long time since I’ve been able to sit and read. I miss it.”
“You’re going to stay with me?” She looks at me and I stare back at her. Her wide eyes are still rimmed red and she’s paler than she usually is.
“Nothing can tear me away from your side, Arela. Never forget that you are loved and you are wanted.”
“I don’t.”
“Good.” I ruffle her hair and crack open my book.
My heart aches as I watch her duck her head and read the giant book in her lap. Bit by bit she breaks my heart with her strength and determination to continue to be there for those around her. Even if they don’t deserve her energy or her attention, she gives it freely no matter what it might cost her. I only hope that when she looks back on her childhood she remembers the good parts more than the bad parts. And maybe, just maybe, as I help to heal her, I can try to heal myself and let go of some of the ugliness of my own childhood. Maybe I can learn to forgive my mother for leaving me at MECA and I can forgive Tore for not finding me sooner. I rub at my eyes and look down at the blurry words on the page. Maybe one day I’ll have the family I dreamed about with a mom and a dad. For now, I’m happy with my chosen family and the happiness they bring me, even if they aren’t of my blood.
CHAPTER
FIVE
Days later the crack of my bedroom door smashing open wakes me up with a pounding heart. Without thought I reach under my pillow for my gun and aim it at the door. Adrenaline pumps through me and I’m wide awake from my nap.
“What the fuck, Kirin!” I lower my gun and glower at him. “What could be so earth-shattering that you had to barge in here and almost get your head shot off?”
Throne of Secrets (Wicked Kingdoms Book 3) Page 4