He spun around and raced for Fina’s room. “Oh jeez no,” he groaned when he stuck his head inside. Fina wasn’t there but the smell of blood was thick and ripe. He inhaled deliberately, delving beneath the overpowering smell until he located Fina’s scent. He rushed down the hall, tracking her.
Cutler ran into the laundry room near the back door so fast his shoulder slammed into the doorjamb, spinning him into a sideways skid. His bare feet slid across the cool tiles and he didn’t stop until his back slammed into the far wall.
Fina stood in front of the washing machine, staring at him in wide-eyed disbelief then she turned bright red. He looked at the bundle of sheets in her arms, smelled the blood before he saw it then stepped toward her.
He cleared his throat. “Are you all right?” he asked quietly. Fina got even redder, if that was possible, nodded, then her face tightened. She grunted, a low tearing sound, leaned forward and braced her hand against the washing machine. He held on to her shoulders, desperately wanting to take away her pain, almost unable to bear seeing her like this. He held her until the spasm passed then helped her to straighten.
Suddenly Cutler understood what the conflicting, disturbing scent surrounding his mate had meant. Understood his wolf’s instinctive need to wait before claiming her. Understood what had had to come to pass before he took her and filled her with his seed.
“You’re miscarrying,” he said with quiet, brutal honesty. Cutler saw the disbelief then the horror and anger flash in Fina’s eyes. “Will you be okay if I leave you for a few minutes? I have to make a phone call.”
Fina nodded, turned away from him and began viciously jamming sheets into the washing machine.
Cutler closed the office door behind him and dialed the number from memory. “Trudy?” he said when the line stopped ringing. “Cutler,” he said sharply. “Shut up about how early it is.”
His opinionated, brash, childhood friend fell silent at the commanding tone in her Alpha’s voice.
“I need you to get over here now. I need you to take Ryan for the day. No questions,” he barked when she started to interrupt. “Now. He’ll be ready and waiting for you when you get here. Keep him until after supper. I’ll call you later and let you know if he needs to stay the night.” He hung up without saying good-bye.
The next number he dialed was the station house. He got the night sergeant, told him he wasn’t coming into work that day and wasn’t to be disturbed unless the whole damn town was going up in flames and the wind was blowing his way. Then he went back to Ryan’s room, packed up a change of clothes, a toothbrush, a few toys and threw everything in Ryan’s backpack. Cutler woke him up and got him dressed in record time. They were sitting side by side on the front porch, a small juice pack and an even smaller but now empty container of yogurt between them when Trudy pulled up in her minivan.
Cutler belted Ryan into one of the booster seats in back, ruffled his hair and told him what a fun time he’d have playing at Trudy’s that day.
Ryan just looked up at him and his brown eyes got big and wet. He started to cry. Cutler leaned back into the car and held him, surprised by the strength in the thin arms that wrapped around his neck, almost strangling him.
“She’ll be okay, buddy,” he said quietly, leaning his forehead against Ryan’s. He kissed the boy’s brow then leaned back. “She loves you but she needs to be alone today. She’ll be better soon and I’ll come pick you up myself.”
Tears were still spilling down Ryan’s pale cheeks but he nodded, clutched his juice pack in one hand and stuck the thumb of the other in his mouth.
Cutler shut the door and backed away, waving. He caught Trudy’s eye. She opened her mouth to say something then shut it just as quickly when she saw the look on his face. She eased the minivan into gear and drove away slowly.
The morning passed on a slow rollercoaster of pain. Spasms continued to grip Fina’s body. She had to get up every half hour or she’d bleed right through yet another tampon. The pain would relent for a while and she’d doze fitfully. She was so exhausted she felt drugged and would fall asleep as soon as the pain eased, only to wake up again when it returned maybe eight or ten minutes later. Cutler kept checking on her, offering her water or juice. Midmorning he brought her a bowl of her favorite snack—chocolate pudding. Fina looked at him with pained, tired but amused eyes and ate it slowly and gratefully.
Cutler didn’t ask questions. He stroked her hair, kissed her forehead then slipped out of the room to give her the space he sensed she needed.
He fed her more chocolate pudding and a couple of slices of toast for lunch. She was halfway through the cup of tea he’d made for her, leaning against her headboard, when she sat bolt upright, dropped the cup onto her night table and raced for the bathroom. Cutler sat on the edge of her bed, looking down at the fresh blood on the fresh linens. He cradled his forehead in his hands, fighting hard against the urge to jump on a plane for Tennessee and rip the throats out of every one of those motherless bastards who’d done this to his Fina. His wolf snarled, growled and threw its weight against the perimeters of his consciousness. It almost won the battle but Cutler managed to subdue the primal rage inside him. Fina needed him. He stripped the bed, put on clean sheets and carried the stained ones to the laundry room.
About one o’clock or so Fina’s pain eased up. She slept longer between bouts and in fact had slept a whole hour straight when Cutler heard the front door open.
He set his book aside, got up from the chair in her room and met his brother in the entryway. Nathaniel was dressed in heavy canvas hiking shorts, sturdy boots that covered his ankles and a smudged golf shirt with the Green Mountain Eco Tours logo over the left breast. He smelled like fresh air and wood smoke and his eyes were wide and scared as he scented the air in the house.
“Fina,” he blurted out when he saw Cutler walking toward him, running his fingers through his short, dark hair. His big brother looked haggard and was dressed in jeans and a t-shirt in the middle of a workday. “Oh god…she lost it, didn’t she?”
Cutler’s brow furrowed as he looked at his brother. He nodded slowly. “How long have you known?”
“Maybe from the very first,” Nath admitted shakily. He brushed back his longer, sun-streaked brown hair. “My wolf knew. He knew we couldn’t claim her. No wolf will claim a woman carrying another’s pup.” He sat down heavily on the bench inside the door, cradled his face in his hands then started unlacing his boots. “I couldn’t bear to face it, couldn’t bear to think about what…what those bastards must have done to her.” He dropped his head back onto the wall and stared up at the ceiling.
Cutler nodded slowly. No wonder his wolf had hidden Fina’s pregnancy from him, not letting the man recognize the scent of the fetus growing in her womb. He’d have struck out in a killing rage at those who’d dared touch his mate. Normally his wolf would urge him along in anything like that but it knew Fina needed him, needed him close, needed him when the weak, bastard seedling in her womb died and her innocent body had to pay in blood and pain for its passing. He remembered the way she’d smelled before today. She’d been pregnant, yes, he knew that now—but there had been a kind of sickness in that scent. Life and death combined, like the fetus wasn’t viable somehow. Cutler had a lot of regrets but he’d never regret the fact Fina’s body had shed the inferior and weak cells that had been forced on her.
“She told me she escaped the morning after her pack was killed.” Cutler ran the back of his hand across his sore, dry eyes. “They assumed they’d bonded her to them.”
“Rape isn’t the same as bonding.”
Cutler nodded jerkily at the cold, flat tone in his brother’s voice. He laid his hand on Nath’s head and they stayed like that for a moment, surrounded by the smell of blood and death, unable to do anything to help their mate, finding comfort in each other.
“I need to see her.” Nath finally broke the dark silence that had settled over them. He finished pulling off his boots then rose to his feet. W
ith his brother beside him, he headed for Fina’s bedroom.
Nath eased the door back. Fina was sleeping. Her auburn hair was lank and clung to her forehead damply but she was breathing steadily and the scent of her pain was less here than it had been by the front door. He exhaled quietly. Her pain was going away. He turned and tiptoed out of the room.
When Fina woke up a short while later, the first thing she saw was Nath leaning back in the big armchair in the corner of her room. His hair was damp and he smelled like soap and shampoo. His feet were bare below the frayed cuffs of his worn jeans and he smiled at her hesitantly.
“I’m so sorry, Fina,” he whispered. He stood, crossed the room and sat on the edge of her bed. He kissed her forehead and breathed her in. “I’m so sorry.”
Fina blinked back tears then slapped his arm lightly. “Don’t start,” she groused deliberately. “You’ll make me start bawling.” He leaned back, grinned and stood aside, holding up the covers when she crawled out of bed. “Damned uterus,” she bitched, then rubbed her lower belly and closed the bathroom door behind her.
Despite Cutler’s fussing and coddling, she insisted on joining the brothers at the kitchen table for dinner. Nathaniel made a simple dinner of some of her favorites…chicken pieces roasted in the oven, flavored with sage and sprinkled with parsley and parmesan cheese, mashed potatoes, sweet corn and the last of the instant chocolate pudding for dessert.
By five-thirty Cutler was in his SUV and driving over to Trudy’s place. Ryan put on a brave face in front of the other kids but as soon as they were outside he started climbing up into Cutler’s arms even before the Alpha had time to pick him up. He squeezed Cutler’s neck tightly and ran his downy cheeks over Cutler’s rough jaw. Then he looked pointedly at Cutler’s big truck, telescoping his need to get home quick to Fina. Cutler understood. He strapped the boy into his booster in the back seat then drove away without delay.
A couple of hours later, Cutler and Nath were leaning against a wall in Ryan’s bedroom, listening to Ryan read the next chapter out of the latest book Fina had picked up at the library for him. She sat on the edge of his bed and only grimaced a little when she bent over to kiss his forehead before tucking him in for the night.
“Stay in your bed tonight, okay, Ryan?” she said quietly and ran her fingertips over his hair. “I’ve got a sore tummy and I need some alone time.”
Ryan nodded, returned her kiss then rolled onto his side.
“‘Night, Fina. ‘Night, Cutler. ‘Night, Nath,” he whispered and played with a loose tooth in his mouth before sliding his fists under his chin. “Leave the door open,” he added then shut his eyes.
“I will,” Fina replied, like she did every night, and slipped out of the room behind Cutler and Nath. She walked into the big, comfortable family room off the kitchen and curled up in the corner of the sofa. She grabbed a blanket off the back of it and laid it over her legs. Fina never said anything but she was infinitely grateful when neither Cutler nor Nath asked how she’d gotten pregnant. Cutler simply sat beside her, lifted her feet onto his lap and began running his thumbs with slow, firm sweeps across the soles. He stopped long enough to hand her the satellite remote.
Nath tossed a pillow onto the floor in front of her and leaned back into the sofa. She looped her arm around the top of his chest and he held it there comfortably.
When she woke up the next morning, Fina stretched lightly. Her belly still felt a little uncomfortable but no longer hurt. She exhaled gratefully. Nath was sprawled across the chair in her room, his head thrown back, his mouth hanging open. He was snoring quietly. She got up, tiptoed into the washroom and was relieved to find she hadn’t bled through during the last maybe four hours.
She slipped out of her room to check on Ryan. His bed was empty. Frowning, she followed his scent trail, now hours old, into Cutler’s room. The Alpha lifted his head groggily when she eased down onto her side beside him.
“You okay?” Cutler mumbled, looking at her through bleary eyes. He glanced behind him, making sure Ryan was still asleep.
“Peachy,” she whispered tartly and grinned. “I see you had a visitor.”
“Yeah.” Cutler stretched and again looked at the tiny mound sleeping on his other side. Ryan was breathing deeply and rhythmically. “I think it upset him, being sent away yesterday. Buddy climbed in here almost the minute after I went to bed. Is it gonna be like this with our pups?” he asked tiredly. “Ah shit,” he breathed when Fina’s face collapsed with grief. The question was ill-timed and inappropriate and his voice was full of regret. “I’m sorry, honey. Come here,” he said, rolling toward her and not letting her push him away when he wrapped his arms around her.
“I hate them so much,” Fina moaned in a harsh, subdued whisper. She hid her face in her hands. “They hurt me so bad.” Her small body shook with noiseless sobs. “What if they hurt me so bad I’ll never be able to have children?” She cried into Cutler’s t-shirt and hated the neediness, the frailty inside her.
“Don’t you think like that, Fina Whitesage,” Cutler ordered in a stern whisper. His mouth snapped down into a tight, straight line. “You’re strong. You survived,” he told her firmly. “They were rogues, inferior wolves spawned from weak stock. Their seed didn’t deserve to live inside you…wasn’t strong enough to survive. Even if you don’t believe me, remember that almost all first pregnancies end in spontaneous abortion.” Again he cocked his head to the side, listening to Ryan breathe, making sure he was still asleep.
“In humans maybe,” Fina countered and wiped away her tears with harsh impatience.
“Weres too. Maybe not as many because our women are tougher. The baby they forced on you wasn’t strong enough to live. That’s harsh and cold and it wasn’t your fault or its. It’s just the way it is and I don’t want you to shed another tear over that. You’re going to have lots and lots of strong, healthy pups, Fina Whitesage. You’ll see. Fifty years from now we’ll be sitting out front on rockers, sucking soft foods through a straw because there’s not a tooth left in our heads.”
Fina giggled foolishly.
“But that front lawn? It’s gonna be filled with great-grandchildren. A third generation of our offspring playing in the sunshine.”
“Mine too.”
They looked up to find Nath leaning against the doorjamb, his heavy arms crossed over his chest, one ankle over the other. He grinned, walked over to them and flopped down beside her, squeezing his big body onto the wedge of space between Fina and the edge of the bed.
She looked back and forth between them, chewing on her lower lip. “Two mates?” Fina whispered nervously.
“Yes,” Cutler answered with the kind of unarguable finality only an Alpha was capable of, then caught her chin between thumb and forefinger and fit his mouth to hers.
It was a tender kiss, a simple, sweet brush of his lips against hers. He stopped, his mouth hovering near the corner of hers, breathing her in and smiling, then he kissed her cheek, her temple, her nose.
Fina inhaled sharply and felt like part of the world was finally right for the first time in four weeks. In her head, her wolf jumped forward nimbly on padded feet then leaned toward the alluring, enthralling scent of the man kissing her. Her wolf knew this male, remembered his strength, his power. It let out a quiet rumble of satisfaction.
Mine.
Fina was startled and, frankly, appalled by her wolf’s reaction. Fina Whitesage was nothing. She was an orphan without a pack or status. Cutler was Alpha. Her young wolf was obviously delusional to think such a high-ranking male would accept her as his mate. Despite what he’d said. But Cutler was still kissing her. She inhaled him again and this time acknowledged the possession and contentment in him.
Lips moved over her neck and shoulder. A large, work-roughened hand glanced over her arm. Fina inhaled again and smelled Nath’s desire rise as he touched her. His scent was laced with the same possession and contentment as Cutler’s.
She exhaled shakily. “This is going
to be weird.”
Nath chuckled quietly and kissed her shoulder again. Cutler levered himself up on his elbow and looked down at her. The sun had risen and his eyes shimmered with an enthralled intensity, framed into heart-stopping beauty by those lush, dark lashes of his. “Unusual perhaps but not unheard of,” he corrected her gently then brushed his mouth over hers again.
This time Fina’s eyes fluttered shut and she kissed him back, chasing his lips with hers.
Cutler continued, “I’m a twenty-eight-year-old Alpha whose pack has been after him for years to take a mate. I’ve known strong, worthy women but I’ve accepted none of them because I’ve always dreamed of finding that one, perfect woman who would complete me.”
Fina blinked. “That was poetic, Cutler.”
“He stole it from me.” Nath grinned, brushed Fina’s hair aside and kissed the back of her neck.
Cutler growled at his brother but stopped when Ryan stirred behind him. “My wolf knew you were mine the second I met you, Fina Whitesage,” he told her quietly. “It never reacted that way to a woman and he wants no other.” He kissed her softly. “I want no other.” Then Cutler sighed. “My brother feels the same way. I resented the hell out of it but I can’t blame him,” he added with a resigned shake of his head. “My wolf could share you…or kill my brother. It chooses to share.”
Fina trembled with cold fear but stopped when she looked into Cutler’s eyes. They were so warm, so gentle and loving they made her feel safe and home and…right.
“Yeah, yeah,” Nath murmured against Fina’s skin. He laid his hand on her shoulder and rolled her toward him. “Too much talking and not enough kissing.” He grinned and settled his mouth over Fina’s.
Nathaniel’s kiss tasted different than Cutler’s. Cutler was patient confidence. Nath was rawer. He was sexual energy yet it was tempered. Fina gasped when Nath traced her lips with the tip of his tongue. “Open for me, Fina. Let me taste you,” he breathed against her mouth then growled when she did. His tongue touched hers, stroked it carefully while Cutler ran his big hands down the side of her body and pressed kisses to the back of her ear.
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