And Zane hadn’t been… what?
Since when?
“Zane needs to get onstage and perform, Maggie. And I need to have his back. You know there’ll be pressure. You know there’ll be women. You know what it is to be on tour.”
“I do.”
“So. Is this gonna be a problem for Zane?” There was a weird emphasis on the word this, which I interpreted as: Are YOU gonna be a problem for Zane?
“No,” I said, pretty fucking offended that he would ask me that.
And yet. He had every right.
As Dirty’s head of security.
As Zane’s friend. The friend who’d gotten him into rehab all those years ago, helped him get sober. The one who had his back at every turn. The one person Zane trusted most, literally, with his life.
Honestly, the worries I now saw in Jude’s eyes were mere reflections of my deepest fears.
“Is this gonna be a problem for you?” he asked me.
“No,” I said. Reactive. Defensive.
Fucking scared.
I just wanted this conversation over with. Because it made me feel horribly exposed.
I’d been living this lie, this secret, for so long now, I’d gotten weirdly used to the constant discomfort of it all. The guilt. The pressure. The small, almost daily deceptions. And maybe I’d convinced myself I could just stay used to it.
As long as it was kept a secret.
I’d convinced myself, maybe, that no one would ever know.
That we’d figure things out, somehow, before anyone ever had to find out.
But we hadn’t figured things out.
We hadn’t figured anything out.
I’d refused, flatly refused, to move forward with our so-called “relationship.” And Zane had refused to give me an annulment or a divorce. We were still secretly married but not married. Both of us holding onto something so stubbornly, so defiantly and so tightly, it was bound to break.
And yet, it couldn’t break.
Not in the middle of a world tour.
Too many people were involved. There was too much pressure, too much expectation. Too much money already invested, too much time already put in, too much work already done.
Too many people counting on this.
To break was not an option.
So I stood strong, like I always did, and I told Jude what he needed to hear.
“Everything will be fine,” I told him. “The tour will be incredible,” I assured him. “There will be no problem between me and Zane.”
But I really didn’t know if any of that was the least bit true.
Don’t miss Dirty Like Zane (Dirty #6), the next book in the Dirty series!
Books by Jaine Diamond
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DIRTY SERIES
Dirty Like Me (Dirty #1)
Dirty Like Us (Dirty #0.5) - Free!
Dirty Like Brody (Dirty #2)
A Dirty Wedding Night (Dirty #2.5)
Dirty Like Seth (Dirty #3)
Dirty Like Dylan (Dirty #4)
Dirty Like Jude (Dirty #5)
Dirty Like Zane (Dirty #6)
DEEP SERIES
DEEP (DEEP #1)
DEEPER (DEEP #2)
Enjoy This Book?
THANK YOU for reading Dirty Like Jude! Every book I write is a true labor of love, and the experience wouldn’t be complete without your part in it.
Reaching new readers is how I keep this writing passion of mine going, and as an independent author I really need your help to do this.
If you enjoy my books, the best thing you can do (besides buy my books!) is leave a review. When you tell other readers that you love my books, it encourages them to give my books a try, and ultimately that helps me continue to write more books!
If you’ve enjoyed Dirty Like Jude, please consider leaving a review on Amazon; the review can be as short as you like.
The link below will take you directly to this book’s Amazon page in your region. (On the book page, simply scroll down to Customer Reviews, and click on the button that says Write a customer review.)
Dirty Like Jude on Amazon
With enormous gratitude,
Jaine
Playlist
Putting together the playlist for Jude and Roni’s book—and two characters with such different musical tastes—was a ton of musical fun!
As usual, some of the songs on the Dirty Like Jude playlist are mentioned in the book; others are songs that captured the feel of a certain scene or that I listened to while writing the book.
Like the music in all the Dirty series books, this playlist features a lot of rock—from classic rock to hard rock and everything in-between—but it also includes other genres that I, and the characters in the book, enjoy as well—from alternative to dance to pop.
Rock. Out.
Sample the songs on my website here,
or listen to the playlist on Spotify here.
Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap — AC/DC
Run Right Back — The Black Keys
Rusty Cage — Soundgarden
Lean On (feat. MO & DJ Snake) — Major Lazer
Strange Times — Riff Raff, Goody Grace & DJ Afterthought
Sexy Boy — Air
Sweet Nothing (feat. Florence Welch) — Calvin Harris
In the Light of the Moon (feat. lil aaron) — Goody Grace
#1 Crush (Nellee Hooper Mix) — Garbage
Lonely Boy — The Black Keys
Die, Die My Darling — Metallica
Help I’m Alive — Metric
Can I Sit Next to You — Spoon
Two Shots (feat. gnash) — Goody Grace
Sativa (feat. Swae Lee) — Jhene Aiko
On Call — Kings Of Leon
Love Her Madly — The Doors
Blood Sugar Sex Magik — Red Hot Chili Peppers
Dreams — Fleetwood Mac
I Wanna Get Lost With You — Stereophonics
D’yer Mak’er — Led Zeppelin
Loud Love — Soundgarden
Promises — Calvin Harris, Sam Smith
Piece of My Heart — Janis Joplin
Dakota — Stereophonics
Little Cream Soda — The White Stripes
Hope (feat. Brave) — Tim Legend
Personal — Emotional Oranges
Tearing Me Up — Bob Moses
I Kissed a Girl — Katy Perry
Closer — Tegan and Sara
Open Wide (feat. Big Sean) — Calvin Harris
Conquest — The White Stripes
Claudeland — Highly Suspect
High And Dry — Radiohead
I Want It All — Arctic Monkeys
Sex with Me — Rihanna
Love Is Madness (feat. Halsey) — Thirty Seconds to Mars
Man In Black — Goody Grace
Roots, Rock, Reggae — Bob Marley
Cold Hard Bitch — Jet
4 In The Morning — Gwen Stefani
Sober (feat. JRY) — DJ Snake
Verona The Hellcat Ft. Jessie Reyez — Allan Rayman
505 — Arctic Monkeys
Don’t Play No Game That I Can’t Win (feat. Santigold) — Beastie Boys & Santigold
Faking It (feat. Kehlani & Lil Yachty) — Calvin Harris
Beast Of Burden — The Rolling Stones
Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow! — Dean Martin
The Only One — The Black Keys
Miss You — The Rolling Stones
Glass House — Kaleo
Crash 2.0 (Adventure Club vs. DallasK) — Adventure Club & DallasK
Love Is Strong — The Rolling Stones
Only Girl (In the World) — Rihanna
Acknowledgments
Thank you, as always, to my readers. My incredible and ever-growing ARC Team. And all my friends and family who continue to supp
ort me in what I love to do. I couldn’t do this without you all.
Thank you to Guin for beta reading. And big love to Brittany for the inspiration, and sending love right when I needed it most.
A huge thank you to my family, Mr. Diamond and our little girl, for holding down the fort while I worked on this one, on a ridiculously intense schedule. Let’s not do that again. But thanks to all your love, support and devotion, we did it!
I’ll keep this brief so I can get to work on the next one…! XO
About the Author
Jaine Diamond is the author of the Dirty rockstar romance series and the DEEP erotic romance series. She is fond of writing the love stories of built and badass men endowed with massive hearts, and strong, complex women she’d love to have a cocktail with.
She lives in beautiful Vancouver, Canada with her real-life romantic hero (Mr. Diamond) and their little girl, where she reads, writes, and drinks copious amounts of tea.
Connect with Jaine online:
Website
http://jainediamond.com/
Facebook Page
https://www.facebook.com/JaineDiamond/
Facebook Profile
https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100010633025544
Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/jainediamond/
Twitter
https://twitter.com/JaineDiamondXO
Amazon
https://www.amazon.com/Jaine-Diamond/e/B017SFLY4U
Dirty Like Jude: A Dirty Rockstar Romance (Dirty, Book 5) Page 32