He smiled and then handed me an envelope. “I’m sorry. This is all I could get together for you at the last minute.”
I took the envelope and smiled back at him. He turned and walked away before I could say anything else to him. I made my way up to my friend, Natalie’s apartment. I had known her all my life, having gone to the same prep school together. Her parents didn’t hover over her the way my father hovered over me. And they also didn’t try to trade her in some elusive business deal. I knocked at her door and was surprised when she immediately opened it.
“Um, hi. I wasn’t expecting you to be up.”
“Daniel called me. He said that you were in some trouble and needed a place to crash for a few hours.”
She held the door open and motioned me inside. “I’m really sorry to do this, but I had to get away and this time, I won’t be coming back.”
“At all?” she asked in disbelief. “Vanessa, whatever it is, we can work this out. We’ll find a way to fix this.”
“Not this. I overheard my father offering me up in exchange for a debt.”
“Like, he was whoring you out?”
“No, he was offering for me to marry this guy.”
“Do you know him?” she asked curiously. I shot her a look and she shrugged. “I’m just saying, maybe you should find out who it is first. You never know.”
“I can’t believe you would even suggest that.”
“I was only joking. Sort of. I mean, what if the guy was really hot and really rich? It might not be so bad.”
“If there’s one thing I’ve learned about the way my father lives his life, it’s that money can’t buy you happiness.”
“But it can buy you a trip around the world. Maybe this guy would take you to exotic places. It could be a lot of fun.”
“Natalie, this might sound like some fairytale to you, but it’s a nightmare to me. All I want is to live my life on my terms and it’s clear that won’t be happening if I stay.”
She nodded and glanced toward the bedroom door. “Why don’t you go ahead and get some sleep and I’ll wake you up in a few hours. We can figure out a plan from there.”
“Thanks, Nat. I appreciate it.”
I went into her bedroom and sighed as I sat down on her bed. I was exhausted and I desperately needed some sleep before I tried to pull this off.
When I woke up, it was morning and the smell of coffee and bacon drifted into the bedroom. I got up and rubbed the sleep from my eyes as I stumbled toward the coffee pot.
“I thought I’d make breakfast before you head out. Do you have any idea where you want to go?”
“I haven’t really thought about it. Maybe I’ll just point at a map and choose someplace to start over.”
“Do you have enough cash?”
“Daniel gave me some money.”
“Well, let’s get the map out and find a good place for you to lay low.”
We spent the next two hours comparing different states, cities, job prospects, and the likelihood that I would be found. Nothing was exactly what I was looking for, but then again, I had never planned to run away from my only family and start a new life with nothing but the cash I had in the envelope from Daniel.
“I think I should go to Colorado. Denver is big enough that I should be able to get lost there and it’s far away.”
She checked her watch and then smiled at me. “I think that sounds like a good plan.”
“Alright, well thank you for the bed and breakfast. I’d better take off now before they connect you to me.”
“Wait!” Natalie looked almost nervous as I grabbed my jacket and headed for the door. “Don’t you think you should wait until it’s dark out or something?”
“That probably would be smart, but the longer I wait, the more chance there is that Dad will find me.”
“I just think you’re rushing into this.”
I narrowed my eyes at her. This was so unlike her to act like this. “What’s going on? Why don’t you want me to go?”
“Just listen to me, okay? I ran into some trouble with my credit cards and my parents won’t help me out. I really needed the money.”
“What did you do?” I snarled at her.
“I called your dad and made a deal with him. He swears that this guy is a good guy and you’ll really like him. Just give him a chance,” she pleaded.
“You think that a man that would trade a debt for a wife is a good man? What the hell is wrong with you?”
Her eyes filled with tears and she quickly swiped them before they could hit her cheeks. “Please, you have to understand. I was going to end up on the streets. I was going to have to get a job.”
“I can’t believe you did this,” I said in a panic. I ran to the window and looked out, but I didn’t see anyone. “When are they coming?”
“Please, just stay and meet him,” she begged.
“When?” I shouted.
“They should be here any minute.”
I didn’t have to wait a minute. The knock on the door signaled his arrival. I ran to the window, knowing it was my only chance of escape. Just as I stepped out onto the fire escape, I looked back one last time to see a face that looked familiar. I ran down the fire escape and out into the street, hoping that I could get some distance from the man behind me. I had no idea where I was going, but I had to get as far away from here as possible. Up ahead, a car swerved around the corner, black with tinted windows. That wasn’t a good sign. I was just about to run the opposite way when a truck swerved in front of me, blocking me from the other vehicle. When the door swung open, I almost cried in relief. Sinner was in the truck yelling at me to get in.
CHAPTER THREE
Cazzo
ANOTHER DAMN DAY of therapy and nothing to show for it. My arms were built like a fucking MAC truck and my abs had never been tighter, but my legs were still just as useless. I had regained most of the feeling in my legs over the past two months, but I still couldn’t fucking walk. It was like the feeling came and went. The few times that I had tried to put pressure on my legs, I fell on my ass within the first second of releasing my grip on the bars I used in therapy.
I spent hours working with the trainer every day and still nothing was coming from it. At this point, I would never get back into the field. I would end up behind a desk, watching all the other guys go out and take the jobs I should have. I was fucking pissed, but I wasn’t sure who to be pissed at. There was nothing I could have done to change what happened and Cap was beating himself up enough over the whole thing. It sure as hell wasn’t Vanessa’s fault or any of my team members.
I threw my towel in my bag and used my arms to swing myself into my wheelchair. I still hadn’t gotten over the fact that I had to use a chair to move around. Everywhere I went, people fucking stared at me, wondering what the hell happened or what my injury was. I wheeled myself to the entrance of the rehab center and waited for my ride. When I first started, I had a nurse that took me to my appointments, but that got old real fast and I kicked all of them out by the end of the first month even though I had promised Sinner I would let the next one stay.
I had gotten really good at taking care of myself over the past month. Since Cap had outfitted my house for a wheelchair and made sure that everything was within reach from my wheelchair, I was able to do everything from cooking to bathing on my own. And while I was proud of myself for being able to do it without a nurse, it was still depressing as hell that I was in this situation. I had become so grumpy towards people that only Burg and Cap came around on a regular basis. Sinner would, but he was out in California now.
Burg pulled up in a fucking car so that it was ‘easier’ for me to get in and out. It was his day to pick me up and drop me off from my rehab appointment. The one thing I wasn’t able to do was drive myself. I had seen that there were cars that could be fitted for a person in a wheelchair, but I wasn’t ready to go that route yet. That was like saying that I would never get any better than I was now.
�
��How was PT today?” Burg asked as he came around the car and folded up my chair once I was in the passenger seat.
“It sucked as always.”
“Always the optimist.”
“You know me, I always have sunshine and rainbows blowing out my ass.”
“That’s such a nice visual. You should get back to the office. You’re not doing yourself any favors sitting on your ass at home all day.”
“In case you haven’t noticed, I can’t do anything more than sit on my ass,” I retorted.
“You know what I’m talking about. You’re pretending like you’re fucking useless without your legs.”
Another person telling me that I could be doing more. Fucking great. Couldn’t they all just leave me the hell alone? If I didn’t want to go into the office, I damn well wouldn’t.
“It’s been two fucking months. I think I’m allowed to sit on my ass if I want.”
“If I thought that you were going to wake up one morning and get your shit together, I would agree, but other than PT, you’ve made no attempts to do anything for yourself. You don’t even fucking shave anymore. You look like a caveman.”
I scratched at my beard that had gotten unusually long and decided I didn’t give a shit. When I wanted to shave I would.
“Would you get off my back? I don’t need anyone trying to give me busy work to take my mind off shit. When I’m ready to get back to work, I’ll be sure to let you know, but until then, leave me the fuck alone.”
“Cazzo, you’re such a dick. Why can’t you just let someone help you?”
“How the hell do you plan to help me? The PT is doing jack shit for me. Are you going to get me new legs that can get me back to where I was two months ago? Because until I’m back in fighting shape, everything else is pointless. I’d rather sit around on my ass in the privacy of my own home than go to the office and do paperwork while people stare at me like fucking vultures.”
“You know they just want to help.”
I grunted at him and stared out the window as he drove to my place in the country. When we got back to my house and he drove through the security gate and entered all the codes, he drove up to the front of the house and parked right in a fucking lake of mud. Then, he got out and plopped my chair right in the thick mud that would be a bitch to get my chair out of.
“You want to bury your head in the ground and pretend like you can’t do anything, but I know that you can and so does everyone else. So, that being said, you can dig yourself out of this mud pit you’re in.”
“Thanks, man. That’s fucking poetic,” I said as sarcastically as I could. He grinned at me and waited for me to slide over into the wheelchair before slamming the door and driving off. I watched him turn out of my driveway and peel out onto the road. I looked down at the mud that was caked around the wheels and knew that I was fucked. There was no way I was getting my chair through this without someone helping, but I tried anyway. After fifteen minutes of trying my damndest to get the wheelchair out of the mud, I finally abandoned hope of getting back inside with it.
My phone was burning a hole in my pocket. It would be so easy to call someone and tell them I was stuck, but my pride wouldn’t let me. I just couldn’t take someone coming out here and having to admit that I needed help. I hadn’t needed anyone’s help since I was a kid. I had grown up on a farm and you learned real fast how to take care of yourself. There was always shit to do and no time for my parents to baby me or my siblings. Now, when I was an adult and shouldn’t need anyone, I found myself in the position of needing someone more than ever.
Forgetting about the phone in my pocket, I slid down the wheelchair and plopped myself in the mud. Using my arms, I army crawled to my front door, which was farther away than it looked when I first decided to do this.
“Come on, Cazzo. Don’t be such a pussy,” I muttered to myself.
My arms were burning by the time I made it to the ramp and I was so close to giving up and lying down on the ramp for the night. I got myself up the ramp and to the door, but it was dark by the time I got there. I felt around in my pocket for my keys, but I couldn’t feel them. I dug in every pocket, but they weren’t there. Then it became clear to me that I was also missing my cell phone. Somewhere along my crawl, they must have slipped out of my pockets. Now I was well and truly fucked. I knew I didn’t have the energy to make it back down the ramp to search for my keys and phone. I had no idea how far back they were and there was no way I could attempt it. I curled into my body as best I could and hunkered down for the night. It would be cold and uncomfortable, but someone would be by in the morning to come get me for my morning PT session.
✯✯✯✯✯
“Fuck, Cazzo. Why the hell didn’t you call me?” Burg asked as he walked toward me from his car. I was shivering too badly to answer at the moment. The lights from his car were shining in my face and blinding me, but I saw him bend over and pick up my keys and phone from the ground. “Shit,” he said as he bent over, retrieving my things. It was a good thing I hadn’t tried to go back for them because they were right by my wheelchair. There’s no way I would have made it back there.
He pulled the wheel chair out of the mud and would have wheeled it toward me, but there was dried mud all over the tires. Sighing, he walked around it and up the ramp to where I was lying.
“Took you long enough, jackass,” I spoke through shivers.
“You know, when I left your ass in the mud, I was hoping that you would see that you can’t do everything on your own and you would call me.”
“Glad I could be used as a teaching moment for you,” I said.
“Except it didn’t work because you didn’t call me.”
“Would you shut the hell up.”
Burg grabbed me around the waist and hauled me over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry. Getting me inside, he took me back to my bedroom and put me down on the bed, grabbing at my clothes.
“What the fuck are you doing?” I practically yelled.
“Cazzo, you’re freezing. You need to get warm and based on the way you’re shaking, you’re not going to be able to do that on your own.”
“The day I n-need someone to help me get undressed and in the sh-shower is the day I put a fucking bullet in my skull.”
Burg stepped back from me looking really pissed. I knew he was trying to help. He was like a brother to me. We had served together and accepting his help should be easy, but it just wasn’t. I didn’t want to need help. I didn’t want him to have to undress me like an invalid and stick me in the shower. And the problem was, the more he tried to help, the more it pissed me off.
“Just get the hell out of my house. I’ll be fine.”
“You have PT in the morning,” he argued.
“Not gonna happen.” I scooted back in the bed and flung the covers over me to warm up.
“You act like it’s a death sentence to ask for help. You could have died out there if I hadn’t come back because you were too fucking stubborn to pick up the phone and call me.”
“You were the one that left me in a mud pit.”
“Yeah, I was, and I was an asshole for it.”
“Go away, Burg. I’m done for the day.”
I tucked the covers up around my neck and ignored him until he left. I heard the heat kick on, which meant he had probably cranked it up to help me get warm. I spent most of the day sleeping in bed and when I woke up, it was getting close to dinner time. Without my wheelchair to help me out, I was going to have a shit time getting around. I sat up in bed and got the shock of my life to see my wheelchair all cleaned up and waiting for me right next to the bed where I normally kept it. I hauled myself into it and then wheeled into the bathroom and got cleaned up.
When I got back in my bedroom, I saw my sheets were missing from the bed. What the hell? I wheeled into the living room to see Burg sitting on my couch and drinking my beer.
“What the hell are you doing? That’s my beer.”
“Yep, it is,” he replied
as he flipped through the channels on the TV.
“You’re such an asshole.”
“Thank you, Burg, for cleaning up my wheelchair and getting my muddy sheets in the wash and making me some fucking dinner,” he mocked.
“Are you my wife now?”
“I’m your friend and I’m tired of this shit. You’re one pissy bastard and no one wants to deal with your cranky ass anymore.”
“I’m not asking anyone to.”
“Too fucking bad. You don’t get to kick us out of your life because you’ve been dealt a shitty hand. I get that this is fucking hard and you’re struggling right now, but that’s when you’re supposed to lean on us. Since you won’t let us help, Cap has other ideas for you.”
“What are you talking about?”
“He’ll be here in an hour, so get your shit together. Apparently, you have a job and I’m not supposed to know what it is, so I’m buggin’ out.”
He stood and walked to the door, leaving me with that ominous message. I looked around to see that Burg had cleaned up my house and even made me dinner. I wheeled into the kitchen, wondering what the hell kind of job Cap could have for me. I was in a wheelchair. There wasn’t jack shit I could do for protection services.
✯✯✯✯✯
“You could have made yourself more presentable, asshole,” Cap said as he walked through my front door.
“Why the hell would I do that?”
“Burg told you that you have a job, right?”
“What kind of job is it that you want me to do? I could guard a snail for you. Pretty sure it couldn’t outrun me, but then I might run it over with my wheels.”
He smirked at me and clapped me on the shoulder, walking past into the living room. “You’re funny today. I have a protection detail for you and I need you to keep her here while we get things sorted out.”
“You want me to do what?” I asked incredulously. He was digging around in my fridge and emerged a moment later with two beers.
Cazzo_A Reed Security Romance Page 3