“Who takes you to PT?” I asked.
“That’s on me today,” Jules said around a mouthful of food.
“Don’t talk with your mouth full of food. You’re such a fucking neanderthal,” Chris said in disgust.
“The rudest man in the room, aside from you, Cazzo, is giving us lessons on manners,” John laughed.
“I may be an asshole to people, but that’s no reason to not have table manners.”
“Sure, that makes sense,” John said, rolling his eyes. “Thanks for the food, Vanessa. We have to get back to it and Jules will be back in two hours to take you to PT,” he said, turning to Cazzo.
Jules and John got up from the table and headed for the door, but Chris stopped them with a whistle. “The least you could do is clear your fucking place since Vanessa made you breakfast.”
I almost fell over in shock. Chris was standing up for me. That was almost unrealistic coming from the man that looked like he killed people with his glare. I swallowed my surprise and smiled at him in thanks. The guys cleared their plates and left, asking if they would be getting dinner. I was still smiling when I made my way back to the kitchen where Sam was still sitting, staring at the empty pan on the stove.
“Would you like an omelet?”
“Let’s get one thing straight. This isn’t a soup kitchen. We aren’t feeding every stray that walks in here and charms you out of your pants. This is my house and I like my privacy.”
“There is so much wrong with what you just said. First of all, I’m aware it isn’t a soup kitchen, there usually isn’t good food there. Second, those men aren’t strays, but your friends and you’re not acting like one at the moment. Third, how dare you imply that I would drop my pants just because someone compliments my cooking. I get that this is your house and you don’t want people coming and going as they please, but you don’t have to be a jerk about it.”
I stormed out of the kitchen, angry at myself for letting him get to me and angry at him for putting me in this foul mood. I had been determined to make the best of this situation and I had hoped that I could get to know these guys better. I didn’t have any friends since Natalie had sold me out and while I didn’t expect all his friends to be my friends, I had at least hoped that we could all get along and I wouldn’t feel so lonely.
✯✯✯✯✯
I didn’t come out of my room until I heard Sam leave with Julius for PT. I watched from the front window as the truck drove down the long driveway. After it was clear that I was on my own, I decided now would be a good time to explore my new home. Sam had a fairly big rambler that had a living room off to the right and a study off to the left as you entered the front of the house. The study looked like a basic home office, but as I explored further, I noticed many pictures from his time in the military. In one picture, Sam was standing with Burg and Sinner, who had been on my security detail. He also had a vault in the wall that he didn’t even try to hide. Based on the very complex lock, I was assuming it was because he didn’t think anyone could actually break into it.
I wandered to the back of the kitchen where there was a whole other wing to the house. There was a mud room that had an attached bathroom and then another door, but it was locked. I pondered trying to pick the lock, but I didn’t have the first clue how to do that. All I would end up doing was scratching the lock and then he would know I was snooping.
I made my way back to his room, which happened to be across from mine and took a closer look at what he was trying to hide from me the other night. He had a bar by his bed that he probably used when he first got out of the hospital. He didn’t appear to need something like that now. I had seen him get himself in and out of his wheelchair and he only used his upper body. The way his muscles bulged and flexed in his arms showed his true power.
After seeing his bathroom, I nearly broke down in tears. There was a large bench seat in the shower with a control panel on the wall. There were several bars around the stall and a hook of some kind on the wall. The sink had no cabinet underneath and sat low to the ground so that he could easily access it from his wheelchair.
I had done this to him. I had changed his life by going to that charity event. I could have chosen to stay home like my father asked of me, but instead I insisted on going and making my appearance. Sam had been a strong, healthy man one morning and by night, he was in the hospital with a spinal injury.
I walked back to the kitchen and noticed then that one of the counters had been lowered and that was where most of his everyday small appliances were. I don’t know why I hadn’t realized it before. There was even space under the counter so he could wheel right up to the work space. The more I looked around his house, the more things I noticed that had been set up especially for him. The way the furniture was set with wider walkways to the hardwood floors that flowed through each room. There were no area rugs and the house looked like it was always kept clean.
I couldn’t stand to be in the house knowing that I was the cause of his current situation. I walked out the back door and just kept going until I reached a small pond. Sitting on the bank, I picked at the grass as I watched the water ripple every once in a while.
Tears filled my eyes, but it wasn’t just because of what Sam was going through. I felt like my whole world was collapsing around me. To not only find out that my father felt so little for me, but also that my best friend betrayed me, was too much to take in.
“Wandering around by yourself is the stupidest fucking thing you could do.”
The voice startled me and I jumped up, practically falling over as I tried to steady myself. Chris or Jack, whatever the hell his name was, was standing a few feet from me and scowling.
“I’m sorry. I just had to get away.” I wiped at the tears that were still trailing down my face and brushed my wet hands on my pants. He sighed in irritation and crossed his arms over his wide chest. His dark eyes made me squirm under his stare. He tipped the cowboy hat that he was always wearing so that I could see more of his face. He was the most dangerous man I had ever seen. His whole face was menacing and he had a permanent scowl on his face that said ‘fuck off’ to anyone he looked at. He usually stood in a relaxed way, but you could sense that he was coiled to attack at any moment. It was dangerously off-putting.
He stalked closer to me and I found myself taking a few steps back, unsure of what he intended. He hadn’t been threatening a moment ago, but just like that, his whole demeanor changed. I hadn’t been afraid of him in the house, but out here in the open with no one around, I could have an ‘accident’ and no one would know. I glanced quickly behind me and saw that I had nowhere to go. I was on the bank of the pond, yet he still came closer. My foot slid and he grabbed onto my arm in a tight grip that had me wincing.
He swung me around and plopped me on the ground, then surprised me by sitting next to me. I eyed him warily, but he just shook his head at me.
“Relax, I’m not going to hurt you.”
“You’re very..grrr.”
“Grrr? What the hell does that even mean?”
“You’re just..you don’t seem happy. At all. You just look like you always want to kill someone.”
He leaned into me and his eyes pierced mine. “Maybe I do. Did you ever think that’s why I do this job?”
I swallowed hard when his hand came up by my neck. I didn’t think he would hurt me, but he was so much bigger than me and I wasn’t used to being around men like this. All the men I knew wore suits and spoke with their upper class snobbery. This man looked like he had seen more in his lifetime than all the men I knew combined. I could see it in his eyes, the killing and the pain.
His hand squeezed my neck slightly, not hurting me, but enough to scare the shit out of me. “I can’t figure you out. Why the hell would someone want to go after you.” He squinted slightly, like he was thinking about something. “What the hell did you do to cause such an uproar?”
I placed my hand around his wrist and gently pried his hand from my neck as I remem
bered what I had overheard my father say. His eyes bored into mine and I had to force myself to look away from his penetrating gaze. I didn’t want to tell him. I didn’t want anyone to know. It was so embarrassing. How did I tell someone, who had a whole group of people that stood behind him, that my own father had betrayed me? It wasn’t just about that though, it was more about the fact that I was now all alone in this world without a single person that would care if I lived or died. It was a lonely realization that sat heavy in my chest.
“What are you hiding?” he asked.
“Why would you assume that it’s me? You know, I could be an innocent bystander in all of this.”
“You could be, but judging by the way you just clammed up, I’d say there’s more to the story that you’re not telling us.”
“Think what you want. I didn’t ask to be brought here. I didn’t ask for your protection, and while I appreciate it, I don’t like being blamed for my situation.”
“You’re just like Cazzo,” he said with a shake of his head. “We can’t help you if you don’t tell us what the hell is going on.”
“Maybe there’s nothing to tell.” And there really wasn’t. How was my father trying to trade me for money going to change the fact that someone was trying to get to me? “Did you ever think that I really am just this rich girl that got tangled up in something unknowingly?” He raised an eyebrow, obviously not believing me. “Besides, my problems are minuscule compared to everyone else’s.”
“You know, we all have things we don’t like to talk about. Just because you’re a rich girl doesn’t mean that your problems mean less. They’re just different.”
“Care to share?” I asked in challenge.
He looked straight ahead and gritted his teeth. “Let’s just say that I saw a lot of shit growing up. It’s changed the way I see things and not always for the better.” He looked at me and the steel in his gaze had me shivering. “I don’t always follow what other people deem right. I have my own code I follow and I exact justice in the way I see fit.”
“So, don’t get on your bad side, is what you’re saying.”
He huffed out a laugh. “That’s the thing, with me, you’ll never know what the right side is. Just don’t fuck with me or anyone I work with and we’ll be good.”
We sat in silence for a minute and I wondered what had happened that had made him such a hard man. It seemed like a lot of the men at Reed Security had some sort of edge to them. Was it a military thing? Maybe it was just a man thing. I didn’t understand them to begin with, so it was very possible that most men were this way.
“You’ve gotta give Cazzo a break. It’s been a rough few months on him. He’s not normally this much of an asshole.”
“I met him before, remember? He’s always been this way to me.”
“And I bet the only fucking reason he was an asshole then was because he didn’t want anyone touching you.”
“It was kind of his job.”
He smirked at me and shook his head. “Do you really think it’s easy for him to have you here?”
“Of course not. I’m sure the last thing he wants is the person who got him shot staying with him. I’m surprised Sebastian was able to convince him to let me stay.”
“This has nothing to do with you being the one he was protecting. He doesn’t blame you for what happened.”
I let out a humorless laugh and looked out over the pond. He leaned toward me and took my chin in a firm grip, forcing me to look into his deadly eyes.
“He’s attracted to you. Do you know how difficult it is for a man like Cazzo to be unable to protect you in the way he needs to?”
“I think that even in his present condition, Sam could snap my neck before I had a chance to escape.”
“He definitely could, but he’s not the one trying to kill you. He doesn’t want any of us here because it’s a reminder that he’s no longer capable of doing what he used to be able to. So, he’s going to be a jerk and he’s going to say shit that’s gonna make you want to run away.”
“What am I supposed to do about that?”
“Push back. Don’t take his shit. And keep making us meals so we can come over and irritate the fuck out of him,” he grinned.
“You just don’t want to cook.”
“If you’d ever tasted our cooking, you wouldn’t want to eat it either. Besides, he needs the push. He needs people in his space, otherwise he’s going to get all whiny and shit about the fact that he can’t use his fucking legs.”
“I can’t picture Sam being whiny.”
“See, men have a different way of dealing with shit. We like to lounge around and order takeout. The dirt piles up and so does the stench.”
“Sounds like something I wouldn’t want to miss out on,” I said sarcastically. “How bad is his condition?”
“As far as I know, he mostly has the feeling back, but the therapists haven’t been able to get him walking.”
“That doesn’t sound right.”
“Doesn’t sound right to me either, but I specialize in weapons, not PT.”
“Maybe he needs to try something different.”
“Could be, but unless he talks to one of us and tells us what the problem is, we can’t help him.”
I nodded and stared off in the distance, trying to think of something I could do to help him. I didn’t know anything about the struggles he was going through or how to get him to tell us what he needed.
“How do we get him to talk to us?”
“He needs to get mad. Until then, he’s on his own.”
He stood and started walking away, leaving me sitting by the pond, wondering what exactly I would have to avoid to stay on his good side.
“And get your ass back to the house. You shouldn’t be walking around the property alone,” he said over his shoulder.
CHAPTER FIVE
Cazzo and Vanessa
CAZZO
I was in an even worse mood when I got home from PT today. Not only was Vanessa in my house, but she was in my kitchen cooking and singing. PT had been absolutely fucking useless. Again. The therapist insisted on working my upper body so that I could continue to move the way I needed until I regained feeling in my legs one hundred percent of the time. It didn’t feel right, but this guy came highly recommended.
I wasn’t just frustrated anymore, I was getting pissed. I couldn’t even come home and stew in my frustrations anymore because now there was a woman in my house that I was supposed to be keeping safe. Like I could even do that.
“Hey, Sam. How was PT?” she asked a little too cheerfully. It pissed me off. I growled my annoyance and wheeled into the kitchen to the fridge. When I opened the door, my annoyance turned to all out rage. She had moved all the fucking beer to the top shelf of the fridge and the only thing I could reach were the vegetables, which would not help me let loose at the moment.
“What the fuck are you doing?”
“What do you mean?” She was acting way too fucking innocent.
“I mean that you moved my beer to the top shelf where I can’t reach it.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry. I guess I was just thinking that drinks usually go on the top shelf.” She shrugged and went back to whatever the hell she was making on the stove.
“How about you get me a fucking beer since you made sure I couldn’t reach it?”
She turned and put her hand on her hip. “Now why would I do that? From what I hear, you can feel your legs again, so me helping you get beer is kind of counterproductive. If you want a beer, you’ll have to get it yourself.”
“In case you haven’t noticed, I can’t use my fucking legs.”
“If you can feel your legs, then you can use your legs. You’re just not trying hard enough.”
My nostrils flared as anger surged through me. It was a challenge and I never backed down from a challenge, but I also knew that I couldn’t actually fucking do it. No matter how strong I was, there was no way I could stand up and grab a beer without assistance.
She raised an eyebrow at me and I took the fucking challenge.
Moving the foot rests aside on the wheelchair, I placed my feet on the ground and took a deep swallow. I was about to fall on my fucking face in front of the woman I couldn’t get out of my head, but I couldn’t back down now that she had challenged me. I pushed up on the armrests and came to a squatting position, but I could already feel my legs caving under the weight of my body. Sweat started to bead on my forehead as I tried to hold on and find a way to get what I wanted. I moved one hand to the counter and swung my hips so I was resting against the counter. I put my elbow on the counter and rested all my weight on that arm, but it wasn’t enough. My legs buckled underneath me and I crashed to the floor, shoving the wheelchair out of my way as I fell, so I didn’t hurt myself.
“Goddammit,” I shouted in frustration as I once again proved that my legs were useless. I couldn’t look at her. I knew that if I did, I would see pity in her eyes. I pulled myself over to my chair and locked the wheels, then hauled myself back up into the chair. It was harder to do from the floor, but I managed. Once back in my chair, I unlocked the wheels and rolled out of the kitchen without my beer and without looking at Vanessa.
For the rest of the day, I avoided going anywhere Vanessa might be, which meant I spent the rest of the day in my room. When I finally got hungry enough, I ventured into the kitchen and scowled when I saw her sitting at the kitchen table.
“Don’t you have something else to do besides sit around my kitchen?”
“Since I’ve been told by Chris that I’m not allowed to wander the property, I’m afraid you’re going to have to deal with me being in your space.”
“Why don’t you go sit in your room then and leave me the hell alone?”
“I would, but there’s nothing to do in there. You don’t have any books around here.”
“Yes, I do. They’re in the living room.”
She rolled her eyes at me and went to the fridge. “Military weapons and battlefield strategy isn’t the most interesting to me.”
Cazzo_A Reed Security Romance Page 5