by SJ West
“She tends to blame Me for the reason she’s so sad today. Until she realizes that her sadness makes Me sad too, she’ll never ask Me to come see her.”
“She told me that she’s talked to you before.”
“Yes, I did once … in a distant world and another time.”
“She’ll probably ask you to visit her one day soon. Everyone talks to you eventually.”
“I hope so,” God says as He smiles down at me. “Are you ready, Lillianna?”
“Yep,” I say with a confident nod. “I’m ready.”
Instantly, I find myself standing where I always end up when I come to see my aunt. As I peer through the open doorway of her beach house, I don’t see any lights on inside the dark interior, and the rain outside is pouring so hard I can’t even see the ocean through it. I step into her house and head towar d the bedroom. As I get closer, I hear her crying and second-guess whether or not I should have come. Maybe God was wrong, but that doesn’t seem very likely. He’s God. How can He be wrong?
I pluck up my courage and approach the door to her bedroom. It’s closed, but when I test the doorknob to see if it’s locked, I find it’s loose. I twist it with one hand while holding the cupcake I brought her in the other. Quietly, I push the door open and find my aunt lying on her bed, crying into her pillow. I’ve never been able to feel her emotions before, but as I continue to stand there and watch her, my eyes fill with warm tears, and my heart feels like it’s about to explode inside my chest from sadness.
I walk over to the side of the bed and set the cupcake down on her nightstand. I notice that the burnt cookie I once saw is there too, but I don’t think too much about it because I need to do something else that’s a lot more important. I reach out and touch my aunt’s trembling shoulder to get her attention. She jerks in response because it’s the first time she’s noticed my presence. When she turns her head away from her pillow and looks at me, I can see her confusion.
“How did you get here?” she asks me, not sounding mad at all, only surprised.
“God helped me come here,” I tell her, just like He instructed me too. “You need me, Aunt Helena. You shouldn’t be alone when you’re so sad. Scoot over.”
At first, she looks puzzled by my order, but then she does as I requested and slides over onto the other side of her bed. I slip my shoes off and crawl onto her mattress to lie next to her. She continues to just stare at me like I’m a ghost, so I decide to treat her like my mommy treats me when I’m sad. I lean up, kiss her on the cheek, and wrap my arms around her while laying my head against her chest.
“I love you, Aunt Helena,” I tell her, realizing it’s the first time I’ve said it out loud to her. I never thought to do it before. I just figured she probably knew it already, but my daddy told me once that sometimes people need to hear you say the words to them because it makes them feel better. “Go ahead and keep crying if you have to. My mommy says it’s better to get it all out when you’re sad.”
“I don’t think I have enough tears to release all of my sorrow,” she tells me.
“Then let out what you can,” I tell her, “and I’ll do the same.”
“What do you have to cry about?”
“You,” I tell her as I lift my head to look at her tear-stained face. “You being sad makes me sad too. Maybe between us, we can get all the sadness out together.”
When I rest my head back on her chest, I feel her arms wrap around my shoulders as she holds me tight.
She doesn’t say anything to me, but I can tell she’s happy that I’m with her. Somehow I can feel it, and I know I did the right thing by letting God send me here.
Chapter 5
(Cal’s Point of View)
I wish I had a big brother or sister. Maybe if I did, I wouldn’t feel so lonely all the time. Keelan is my best friend, but even though he’s only seven months younger than me, it feels like we’re separated by years instead. That’ll probably change when he gets older, but right now, he’s just a kid. My mommy laughs when I say things like that to her. She’s always telling me I have an old soul. I’m not quite sure what that means, but it must be true because she would never lie to me about something so important.
When I see Lucas catch his brother Liam, I instantly know our game is over, and it’s not just because he caught his brother. As soon as Lucas grabs Liam by the arm, I see him get that faraway look in his eyes, and I know he just had a vision. When my daddy first told me that Lucas can see into the future, I didn’t doubt him for one second because I know he wouldn’t lie to me either.
“Guys,” Lucas says to us as soon as his eyes refocus, “I’m sorry. I need to go tell Mom and Dad something important.”
“What did you see, Lucas?” Liam asks. “Was it something about me this time?”
Lucas shakes his head at us. “No. It was about Liana and God. I’ll tell you all about it later,” Lucas says, playfully rubbing the top of Liam’s dark brown hair. “Why don’t the two of you go play another game while I talk to them, okay? It won’t take me that long to explain what’s happening.”
Out of curiosity, I watch Lucas walk over to his parents to see what their reaction will be to what he has to tell them. Whatever he says about Liana doesn’t make either of his parents happy at all. Aunt Anna looks upset, but Uncle Malcolm looks like he wants to hit something hard he’s so mad.
“Liana must have gone to Hell again,” Liam says knowingly. “They always get upset when she does that and doesn’t let them know she’s going first.”
I look over at Liam and ask, “Have you ever been there?”
“Nah,” he replies, looking bored by the subject. “Sounds like a really depressing place from what Liana’s told me. I really don’t know why she keeps going there.”
“Aren’t you even a little bit curious to meet your mother’s sister?”
“Not really,” Liam says, looking over at the table with the holo-tag equipment. “Come on. Let’s get a game of holo-tag set up. By the time Lucas is finished talking to our parents, we’ll have it ready to go.”
I look around the room and find Keelan with his hand in a bowl of chocolate candies.
“Keelan!” I call out, drawing his attention to me. “Come on and play holo-tag with us!”
Keelan grabs a handful of candy before running over to Liam and me.
“Where’d your sister go, Liam?” Keelan asks before popping the candy in his hand inside his mouth.
“Hell, probably,” Liam replies, looking uninterested in continuing to talk about his sister.
“My dad said he went there once,” Keelan reveals, making me wonder why he’s never mentioned this before now.
“You knew important information like that and you never told it to me?” I question my best friend.
Keelan shrugs his shoulders. “How was I supposed to know you’d be interested in knowing that?” he replies with his mouth full of candy.
“Ew,” Liam says, having witnessed the same grotesqueness as I had. “Didn’t your parents ever tell you not to talk with your mouth full?”
Keelan opens his mouth even wider and begins to laugh when he sees both me and Liam wincing at the disgusting sight.
“Keelan!” a voice full of warning says.
I look behind Keelan and see his mom walking toward him with a gaze that’s both menacing and filled with disappointment. Keelan wisely swallows what’s in his mouth before turning around to face the wrath of his mother.
“Now, what did I tell you about trying to gross your friends out that way?”
“Not to do it,” Keelan answers guiltily as he hangs his head low in rightful shame. “I promise I won’t do it again.”
“You better not, young man, or we’ll go home before the cake is cut.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Keelan replies, looking properly contrite for his behavior.
As his mom walks away, Keelan turns back around to face us. “Sorry guys. I was just having fun.”
Liam walks up to him and places
a comforting arm across the tops of his shoulders.
“That’s all right, young man,” he jokes, using Keelan’s mother’s words. “Come on. Let’s go play before we have to stop and do the cake cutting thing.”
Maybe Liana is right. It does seem like all Liam thinks about is food and games, but I don’t necessarily think that’s bad. I often find myself thinking about those two things quite a lot too.
When it’s time for everyone to sing happy birthday to me and cut the cake, Liana still hasn’t returned from Hell. I send up a silent prayer to God for Him to make sure she’s back before everyone is through eating their slice of cake. I know Liam and Lucas will have to leave if she isn’t. Their parents already said that they would need to go home early so they can wait for her to come back. I think God must have heard my prayer, because just as Liam and Lucas are saying goodbye to me, Liana phases into the ballroom holding a small glass box clutched between her hands.
Aunt Anna and Uncle Malcolm rush over to Liana as soon as she appears. They don’t really question her about why she left, but they do ask if she’s okay. I guess it’s because it looks like she’s been crying a lot. Her face is really red, and her eyes look puffy. My mom takes ahold of my hand, and my dad follows us over to where they are.
“You had us all worried sick,” Aunt Anna says as she kneels in front of Liana. She’d probably be hugging her too if Liana wasn’t holding the small glass box between both of her hands.
As we get closer, I look inside the container to see what she’s brought.
“What’s that?” I ask her as I try to figure out what she’s holding.
Liana sniffs as fresh tears form in her eyes as she looks over at me.
“It’s a present,” she tells me, holding the glass box out for me to take.
Without even thinking, I reach out and accept it from her. Mostly I want to get a better look at what’s inside. As I hold the box in my hands, I see that she’s brought me something that looks kind of like a cookie, but it’s not shaped right.
“Did you make this for me?” I ask, hoping she doesn’t expect me to eat something that’s burnt. I can feel the eyes of everyone on me as I hold my present, and they all seem to be as confused as I am about the strange gift.
“No,” she tells me with a small shake of her head. “You’re just supposed to keep it.”
“Oh,” I reply, not quite understanding the point of hanging onto something so ugly like it’s a trophy.
“My Aunt Helena asked me to give it to you,” Liana says, sounding sad about having to mention her aunt.
A collective gasp can be heard in the room, so I’m guessing people don’t like the fact that Liana’s aunt has sent me a birthday present.
“She asked me to give you a message too,” Liana continues.
The hand my mother has resting on my left shoulder suddenly tightens on me as if she’s afraid to hear what Liana is about to say next.
“What did she say?” I ask, curious to find out why someone I’ve never met before would send me such a strange gift.
“Liana,” Aunt Anna says, “tell me her message first, please.”
Liana doesn’t seem to like her mother’s request, but she does it anyway. She leans forward slightly to whisper what she was asked to tell me into her mother’s ear. Aunt Anna looks a little confused by her words, but then she nods her head as Liana leans away to look back at me.
“You can tell him,” her mom finally says as she looks up at my mom and dad, who are standing right behind me. “It’ll be all right.”
Liana looks at me and says, “My Aunt Helena told me to tell you not to let what other people say affect how you see yourself because only you know what’s truly inside your heart. Some people might look at that cookie like it’s deformed and ugly, but she sees it as being perfect because the person who gave it to her was perfect in her eyes. If you show others the light inside you, they will only see what matters most.”
When I look back down at the cookie, I do begin to see it a little differently since the person Liana’s aunt loved gave it to her. It’s not as ugly as it was before because I know it was given out of love.
“Tell her thank you for me,” I say. “And let her know that I’ll take care of this for her.”
Liana smiles at me and turns toward her father. She looks up at Uncle Malcolm and holds her arms up in a silent plea for him to hold her. Her dad instantly bends down and picks her up into his arms, holding her close while she wraps her arms around his neck and begins to cry. I’m not sure what’s made her so sad, but I do hope she feels better soon.
Not long after, Liana and her family leave to go back home to Cirrus.
“Can we go to Earth on one of my birthdays?” I ask my parents, which causes them both to look at each other in alarm.
When my mom looks back at me, I know the smile on her lips is fake. I can always tell the difference from a real smile and a forced one when it comes to my mom. She’s a horrible liar, at least to me. I guess she might be able to fool other people, but I always know when she’s just smiling to hide her worry.
“Earth isn’t a very safe place,” she tells me. “Maybe when you’re older we can go, but right now, it’s better if we stay here.”
“If Earth isn’t safe,” I say, “why do Liana and her family stay there? Shouldn’t they move somewhere else?”
My mom looks confused, like she isn’t quite sure how to answer my question.
My dad kneels down on one knee in front of me. “Why don’t we talk about Earth later?” he suggests. “We still have a lot of guests here who haven’t had a chance to wish you a happy birthday. I think we should go say hi to them, don’t you?”
“I guess,” I say reluctantly. It seems like I should get to do what I want to on my birthday, but my parents don’t seem to agree.
My mom reaches down and plucks the small glass box out of my hands before I have a chance to keep ahold of it.
“I’ll go put this in your room for safekeeping,” she tells me with her fake smile.
I’m not sure why she seems so worried about my gift, but she can’t hide the fact that she is from me.
The rest of my party is pretty uneventful. Sure, I have fun, but I would have had more fun if Liana, Liam, and Lucas had been able to stay and play with me and Keelan. I don’t know why I wasn’t born with the ability to phase wherever I want. If I could, I would go all over the universe. My mom and dad have taken me to another planet before though. It had a pink ocean, and I could see two other planets in the sky. They told me it was where they had their very first date with each other. It just doesn’t seem fair that I can’t go where I want to go. All I got for being a half angel are these wings that seem about as useless as the hair on my head. They’re more like a decoration than something helpful to me. I keep jumping off things like tables and the stairs to make them work, but all I seem to be able to do is glide with them. If I could use them to fly, I might like them a lot better. Maybe the problem isn’t with the wings. Maybe I just need to jump off of something higher before they’ll work.
While my mom tucks me into bed that night, I look over at the glass box with the burnt cookie in it on my nightstand.
“Mommy, why did the gift Liana brought me from her aunt upset you so much?”
“What makes you think it upset me?” she asks, wearing her fake smile again as she answers my question with a question.
“Because you did what you’re doing now,” I tell her. “You’re smiling on your face, but it’s not coming from your heart. You’re doing it to hide how you really feel, and I want to know why.”
My mom’s smile slips from her lips as she realizes it isn’t fooling me anymore. She sits back down on the side of my bed and looks at me with wonder in her eyes.
“I guess you’ve figured out all my secrets,” she says.
“It’s not that big of a secret,” I say. “You’re just a bad liar.”
My mom laughs nervously at what I said because she knows it’
s true.
“I’m not sure if it’s that, or if I’m just bad at hiding my feelings from you. For a five-year-old, you’re very intuitive.”
“I’m pretty smart,” I agree. “And I want to know why the gift upset you so much.”
My mom sighs heavily, as if she’s trying to decide whether or not she’ll answer my question. I don’t see what the big deal is, but I feel like I need to know the truth.
“It wasn’t so much the gift itself that upset me,” she begins. “I guess I was more upset that Liana’s aunt gave it to you. We haven’t heard from her in a long time, and I thought she had decided to stay out of our lives.”
“When was she in our lives?” I ask since I didn’t even know my parents knew Liana’s Aunt Helena.
“Around the time you were born,” she tells me.
“Do you dislike her?”
“I liked her well enough for the short time I knew her.”
“Then I don’t understand why her gift upset you. It seems weird that she sent me one. Why do you think she did that?”
“I shouldn’t have let her gift upset me. It was kind of her to remember you on your birthday. I think she just wanted you to have something from her, and the cookie was something she could send to you since it was made in this world and could return to it.”
“What do you mean?”
My mom’s head tilts slightly as she says, “Has Liana told you where her aunt lives?”
I nod. “Yep. She lives in Hell.”
“Well, once upon a time, she was able to live in this part of the universe. She fell in love with an angel, but he ended up dying in an accident. Not long after you were born, she had to return to Hell, and now she can’t leave it.”
“But what’s that got to do with the cookie being able to be brought here?”
“I would imagine most of the things she owns have to stay in Hell, but the cookie was something that was made here in the living world, so it can travel across the veil that keeps Hell and its creatures separate from us.”
“There’s creatures in Hell?” I ask, finding this thought scary. “Are you sure they can’t escape?”