Hilda and Zelda

by Paul Kater

take long). Then the wizard made the large shape plunge down towards the evil witch.

  Zelda was frantically shooting at the large black shape that came down fast. She was so surprised with the appartion coming towards her that she did not even think of casting a spell at it, the more as she had been firing the machine gun for so long.

  The fake witch was hit hundreds of times but persisted in diving down towards the evil witch and her machine gun. At the last moment, William changed the shape into a large blob of black glue, which hit Zelda as well as the gun, rendering both useless. The witch as she had not expected that, the gun as it was not designed to function with glue everywhere.

  "Hilda!" William yelled out. "Attack time!!"

  Hilda let out a relieved sigh and then sped towards where she knew Zelda was. As she came into the square, she saw William almost fall down. Then she saw the strange moving shape on the grass in the centre of the square. "Now what is that?" she muttered, popping up her wand.

  William was firing spells at the glued-in witch in an attempt to strap her in with metal sheets, but despite her situation, Zelda managed to fight the ties off.

  Hilda started petrifying the glue, which seemed to have the desired effect. Slowly the glue was getting hard as stone, and the movements of Zelda became slower, until they finally stopped completely.

  The magical couple stood together, wands pointed at the now immobilised witch, ready to strike again. They waited for several minutes, their senses sharp. But the statue of the witch did not move anymore.

  Hilda frowned. "What is that stuff you threw over her?"

  "Glue," said William. "Fast-drying glue. Why?"

  "I don't feel good about this. Would that glue be able to eliminate the sensation of a witch being near?"

  William shrugged. "Beats me. This is the first time I tried it on a witch." Hilda's words however gave him the shivers.

  Hilda walked up to the glue statue and tapped on it. It sounded... hollow. "Crappedy crap..." With her wand spraying magic, she quickly cut an arm from the statue. She picked it up and held the end to William. It was empty.

  "Holy Bejeebus," the wizard said, scratching his head. "How did she pull that off?"

  Zelda had escaped from them.

  22. Talk-off

  As the witch and the wizard worked on cleaning the area, some people dared to come out of the buildings and look at them. From a safe distance, they assumed.

  William started destroying the machine gun when the square was free of glue. He took pride in that part and turned the weapon into a small statue of a dragon, leaving it on the grass.

  "William? What are these folks staring at?" Hilda tapped him on the shoulder, and he turned around.

  "Us." He was certain. "It will also be very easy to scare them, so we should be careful."

  Hilda nodded. "No shouting, I guess, right?"

  "You learn so quickly, sweetwitch." William looked at a group of over a dozen people. "Hello, you all!"

  Mere seconds later the group had disappeared inside, the door slamming shut behind the people.

  Hilda looked at William. "About time you learn a bit or two about addressing people, sweet wizard." She flashed her sweetest smile at him.

  "Hmmf. It probably was the wand," William offered a feeble defense, making Hilda burst out in laughter.

  "I did find something interesting though," the wizard said. He showed Hilda the small hole in the ground. It was where the glue-blob had been that was meant to contain Zelda. "Looks like she simply sunk through the ground and escaped like that."

  "Bah," Hilda commented. "I didn't know she knew that one." Her face betrayed that she did not know how to do it.

  "Well, look at it from the bright side. We did get her stuck for a while, and cornered her." William felt good about that. "It's the closest we ever got to nailing her, Hilda."

  "Yeah. Still it sucks elves that she got away." Hilda leaned into William, who put an arm around her and kissed her on the cheek. "Thanks, William. I needed that."

  They called for their brooms and then flew off, while many curious yet scared eyes watched them.

  -=-=-

  As they were sitting in their homely shed, Hilda said: "It feels good that we got her."

  William nodded. "Yes, it does. She will know now that she is not as invulnerable as she may have thought." It would also make Zelda more careful, which was the downside of the story, he added for himself.

  "I hope the witches of this place will pull together," Hilda sighed. "Looks like we're going to need them."

  William nodded. "Yes. Looks like it indeed." He was not thrilled with the prospect all of a sudden, after meeting the women. They were nice and seemed willing to help them, but there was still the question of how much help they could be when the going was getting tough. Because at some point the going was bound to become just that.

  "I also suppose Zelda will lie low for a while now. She's been damaged in her pride, I'm sure."

  A rumble, low and soft, made its way into the shed as Hilda spoke. She looked at William. "Did I speak too soon?"

  "Let's find out," the wizard replied as they both got up.

  Not much later they were in the air again. Slipping away from the former military base, with all its business going on, was becoming more and more easy. The magical couple rose up high, to have a clear overview of the town. William did his best to discover what might have rumbled, but there was nothing out of the ordinary from this distance.

  "It can't have been far away," Hilda said.

  William agreed, so they focused on the area closest to the camp.

  It did not take them long to find the source of the sound. A small mall that was near the road from the camp to the town was now even smaller. The entire block that held the shops seemed to have slipped down several feet into the ground.

  "This doesn't happen by itself," William started to say.

  "She's around, William," Hilda interrupted him. "She's probably-"

  The fact that part of the roof of one of the shops shot upwards to them made it clear that Hilda's feelings were right. Zelda was in the shop. She sensed her enemy overhead and attempted to slam the roof into her and the wizard.

  It was easy for the couple to get out of the way of the roof. At the same time they pulled their protection around them. There was no telling what Zelda was cooking up for them while under the cover of the roof now gone projectile.

  William pointed to a wall and dropped behind it. Hilda followed him. Sitting there, they would at least be out of sight of the evil witch. In that position they waited.

  "She's still around," Hilda whispered.

  "Where?" William whispered back.

  "Don't know. Back there." Hilda pointed to the wall.

  "Dragon turds," they then heard. It was spoken loudly and in a highly annoyed tone. "Grimhilda, I know you're here. Show your face, you mouse-head."

  "Mouse-head?" William said without making a sound. He decided to immediately forget that, after seeing Hilda's expression.

  Hilda then slowly got up. "Come," she said to William, and as he had risen to his feet, she walked around the wall, William right behind her. The wizard did not understand the reason for this behaviour, but he would stick with Hilda no matter what.

  Zelda stood next to the roofless building. Her broom hovered next to her. She seemed to be in a mood that did not mean fighting. "So there you are."

  "Yes. And there you are." Hilda nodded. "This is William," she said, putting her hand on William's arm for a moment. "My wizard."

  Zelda, her hands on her back, nodded. "I heard. Good for you." She looked at William. "Hello, wizard."

  "Hello, Griselda." William nodded.

  "Why don't I sense you?"

  "I'm not from your world. I'm from here."

  Zelda frowned. "Wizard. From here." She was clearly working on that one, as she had not encountered witches or wizards in this world herself.

 
"You'd better stop your terror here, Zelda," Hilda said. "You can't win."

  Zelda smiled. It almost made her look friendly. "I don't use terror. I just use convincing methods. And I don't have to win. I just have to enjoy."

  William kept silent. He was not at all sure what was going on, with both witches talking to each other in this rather polite way.

  "Then we will have to do our best to see to it that you do not enjoy," Hilda said.

  "Oh, but I would really enjoy that, Grimhilda." Zelda magicked up three chairs, so they could all sit down.

  William was even more stumped and surprised as that happened. He watched Hilda sit down and then followed; he was not certain if the chairs could have been prepared for something funny by the bad witch.

  "So what's your plan here then?" Hilda asked straight out.

  "Oh, nothing much. Turn a few places upside down. Get rid of you two annoying pests. Make a group of people my followers. Things like that."

  Zelda seemed very relaxed about this all. William was more and more lost. How could this witch now be chatting along as if she was with friends, after all her attempts to kill him and Hilda?

  "I hope," said Hilda, "that you understand that us coming after you is nothing personal."

  "Of course it isn't. You're just being the good little witch you always are, but you refuse to acknowledge," Zelda said. The tone in her voice held scorn and contempt in a manner William had never encountered before. It was almost a form of art. It probably was magically induced.

  Hilda wriggled her nose, and the legs of Zelda's chair made a cracking sound. "Good little witch. Pah. Go suck an elf."

  "Oh, I would, if there were any around. I looked,