"Cross my heart." The tall girl pushed her glasses up her nose, then made the sign of the cross. "I'd say 'hope to die' but that might freak out my overprotective brother."
Rollo growled at that phrase. "Don't push me, little sister. I'll have you on a plane so fast, you'll forget you were ever here."
"Sorry." Sidney stepped from behind Brianna and went to join her brother. He slung an arm around her shoulders and steered her toward the front door. After one last smoldering glance at Brianna, the two of them disappeared inside.
Brianna let out a long sigh and headed for her truck, which she'd left tucked away in the garage. Finn was still unloading the Jeep. In the midst of swinging Rollo's heavy backpack out of the rear, he gave her a goodbye salute as she passed by.
"That was fun," he called to her. "Let's plan another hike, except we'll leave out the dude with the gun."
"Good plan." She grinned at him, then stopped short. Wow. She was cured. She hadn't said or done anything awkward. She hadn't looked at Finn's butt, or thrown a Thermos at it.
One kiss from Rollo and everything had changed. Wow.
"Is that your new girlfriend?" Sidney asked as soon as they were through the door. "I like her."
"No. She's just a friend. Don't be such a brat." Rollo led her to his bedroom, since it was the only one with a bed. "You can have my room, and I'll stay on the couch."
"Don't be such an idiot."
"You don't want the bedroom?"
"Of course I do." She plopped herself onto his bed and bounced a few times. "I mean about Brianna. She's the kind of girl you should be with."
"Yeah? What makes you such an expert?"
A wicked grin spread across her face. "Because nothing would make Mother more insane than seeing you with a little redheaded elf with no fashion sense."
"Stay out of it," Rollo said firmly. "Brianna doesn't deserve to get dragged into the Wareham family shitshow. Just let her be. You promise?"
Sidney squinted and gazed into the middle distance. "I half promise."
"What the hell does that mean?"
"It means I want to hang out with her. Because she's nice. She can be my best friend while I'm here."
Rollo shook his head. Sidney always had a best friend of the moment. But she was fickle, and tended to change best friends as often as her contact lenses. Or glasses, at the moment. "She's twice your age."
"So? She's not all full of herself like you." Sidney stuck out her tongue at him.
He ground his teeth together. "First plane out of here. Don't forget."
"Yes sir," she said meekly.
He let her take an endless shower, then made her some tacos. But even though he grilled her over dinner, she refused to explain why she'd set her curtains on fire and run away from school. All she'd say was that she needed a break.
After some heavy phone lobbying, he got his mother to agree that Sidney could stay with him until the mandatory Wareham family Christmas, as long as she kept up with her schoolwork.
So suddenly, there he was, host to a fourteen-year-old runaway and a dropout firefighter. And occasionally a pretty redheaded landscaper.
He liked it. Sidney was his favorite family member, and he liked having Finn close by. He worried about the dude.
And when Brianna showed up to work on the pond, it turned into a sort of party. Sidney would sit cross-legged on the lawn and jabber away while Brianna dug in the rocky soil. She'd play songs on her iPod and show Brianna her sketches. Sometimes the two of them would dance to one of the songs. Rollo couldn't believe how quickly Sidney had latched on to Bri. But he was grateful for it, that was for sure. He trusted Bri with his sister—definitely more than he'd trust anyone in his own family.
Apparently gossip about Sidney had already spread through the Upper East Side. Cornelia emailed him. Sorry about the family drama. If you need anything, please let me know. Teenagers are such a nightmare, aren't they?
He didn't like that email at all. It reminded him that he had no business kissing Brianna, thinking about Brianna, or lusting after Brianna. None of the above. His future was Cornelia, or someone like her. He had to stop this attraction before it went anywhere.
But the sight of her digging up his lawn made him crazy. Brianna might be occasionally awkward in the rest of her life, but when she was working, she was pure grace, every movement confident and skillful. Sometimes she wore her usual overalls, but sometimes she wore cutoffs. He fixated on the sight of her firm, rounded calves with their healthy tan skin tone. Work boots and shorts were an incredibly sexy combination, especially when paired with a ribbed tank top that clung to her torso and waist.
At the end of the day, she always wound up with streaks of mud on her face, her arms and shoulders glowing with sweat. He wanted to strip it all off and bundle her into the shower. Run soap along her sleek curves, reignite the desire in her green eyes, that hazy amazement.
They still hadn't discussed the big kiss since Sidney had shown up. He wondered if she'd forgotten about it. It would be better that way. This thing between them, whatever it was, couldn't go anywhere. They should bury that one mistaken moment and never speak of it again.
But damn it, she kept showing up with her shovel and her shorts and her cuteness and her curves and…
Finally he couldn't take it anymore. He cornered her in the kitchen as she was filling her water canteen. "We need to talk." He took her elbow and steered her into the bathroom, the only place they could have some privacy. As soon as he closed the door, the room seemed to fill with tension. Or maybe it was lust—on his side, anyway.
"What's up?" she asked calmly. Little tendrils of sweat-damp red hair curled around her forehead. His hands itched to smooth them away.
How could she be so calm when his cock was already swelling just from being this close to her?
"I, uh, wondered if Sidney's told you why she ran away. She's been talking to you a lot."
She frowned at him. "Rollo, if she tells me anything I feel you need to know, I promise to tell you. But I'm her only friend here and I can't betray her trust."
"You were my friend first," he pointed out.
She lifted one eyebrow. "Are you jealous?"
"Don't be ridiculous." Maybe he was jealous, but only of her crush on Finn. "I'm just saying that I came first. Besides, she's just a kid."
"She's not really a kid. She's kind of in that in-between phase. It's a tough time."
"Believe me, I know," he muttered. "And my family doesn't make it easy. I know what Sidney's dealing with. She's a Wareham." He broke off before he revealed too much about the family dirty laundry.
She leaned against the sink and folded her arms across her chest. "What are you not telling me, Rollo? You and Sidney both. I know the Warehams are wealthy and privileged and upper class and blah blah blah. So what's the problem? Why do you get all gloomy anytime your family name comes up, and why does Sidney complain about them so much? And…she keeps referring to some bad thing you did in the past."
"She does?" Rollo felt his face tighten. Damn it, Sidney had no business telling Brianna his secrets.
But maybe he should. Part of him wanted to. But Brianna might not understand. She hadn't seen the dark side of life the way he had.
"Sidney likes to be dramatic," he finally said. "It's nothing you have to worry about."
"Rollington Wareham the Third." Brianna shoved a hand into his chest. "Aren't we friends? Don't friends tell each other the important stuff?"
He caught her hand against his chest. "Yes. It's just that some things…" He folded his lips together before he got carried away. She opened her hand against his chest. His heartbeat sped up in response to her touch.
He leaned closer as if a magnet was pulling him to her. Her eyes widened, her breathing quickened. A wash of pink spread across her cheeks. He saw her swallow, the muscles moving in her slender throat.
It was official; he wanted Brianna.
"What are we going to do about this?" he asked hoarsely.
He held her hand tighter against his chest, wanting more than anything to slide it lower, across the bulge of his erection.
"This?" she whispered.
"Every time I get near you, I want you more. I don't know what's wrong with me."
14
Every bit of her felt on fire. The way Rollo was looking at her, the feel of his broad chest under her palm, the excitement building between them…she'd never felt like this before. This time she didn't feel awkward at all—just wildly powerful.
Then his words sank in. "You don't know what's wrong with you? What's that supposed to mean?" she tried to snatch her hand away, but he held it tight.
"You know what I mean. We're supposed to be friends. I don't usually feel this level of lust for a friend. You're…Brianna. Same old Brianna."
This time she did manage to wrench her hand away. "Same old Brianna? Oh my God. I can't believe you just said that. You make me sound like an old jacket or something."
"You know what I mean." He dragged his hand through his hair, and for a moment she felt sorry for him. But just for a moment. Every feeling of inadequacy she'd ever experienced came rushing back. All the times guys had looked right past her at Evie. The billion times they'd asked her for Evie's number. The time Dylan invited her to the prom as a backup, then dumped her literally outside the gym door when his first-choice date showed up.
"No, I don't. You make it sound like I'm not worth lusting over. What about Merry? Would you ever call her 'same old Merry'?"
He didn't answer, which she figured was an answer in and of itself.
"No, you wouldn't. I'm tired of feeling like an old jacket. If you were really my friend, you wouldn't ever make me feel that way." She rushed to the door of the bathroom and pushed it open. As he went after her, it swung back and hit him smack in the nose, making him fall back a step. "Sorry. You know me. Same old awkward Brianna."
On the other side of the door, she stopped for a moment and turned back to confront him. His hand covered his nose, his blue-gray eyes watering.
"And honestly, this is just one of the things making me question our friendship. You need to start being honest with me."
"Okay. Okay. But you aren't going to like it." He dropped his hand. His poor nose looked a little swollen, but at least no blood was pouring out of it. "Come on. Let's get out of here."
She followed him out the door. Sidney sat cross-legged on a towel on the lawn. Earbuds in place, she bobbed her head to the music and mouthed the words to the song she was listening to. Her sketchbook was spread open on her lap. Sidney poured a lot of her emotions into her drawings.
Rollo put a hand on Brianna's lower back and steered her toward the running path that hugged the hillside. The thin winter light made everything look crystal clear, including Rollo's tall, broad-shouldered form. His jeans fit him so snugly, hugging his rear in a sexy, hypnotic way. His muscles bulged out of his t-shirt, his arms like thick tree trunks. She knew firsthand how strong he was, how physically powerful. Just watching him made her weak in the knees. How could she ever have found Finn attractive when Rollo was right there all along? She still didn't really understand it.
When they reached a quiet lookout, where the gray, gleaming ocean peeked through a grove of cypress trees, he stopped and drew in a long breath.
"You are worth lusting over. Believe me, I'm lusting up a storm. But it's not a good idea. I'm not the person you think I am."
She stared, totally confused. "You're not Rollo Wareham?"
"Of course I am. But I'm also Rollington Wareham the Third, and that guy's an asshole."
His blue-gray eyes, normally so kind, looked almost tormented.
"You think I'm a nice guy. The kind of guy you can always count on. I've heard you say that I have a good heart. That I'm kind. And I know you believe that."
"Of course I do." She frowned at him. "I know you, so I know it's true."
"It isn't. I've hurt people. Badly."
She shook her head, utterly confused. What people? Was he talking about girls? Had he broken someone's heart? "I don't understand."
He bent his head so he was staring at the ground. She saw his jaw flex under his beard. His shoulders hunched forward slightly.
"I was born into wealth, you know that. I was raised to think the world belonged to me. That I could do anything I wanted. That I would never pay a price."
He looked so pained that she wanted to wrap her arms around him and tell him to forget she'd ever said anything. "Look, Rollo, you don't have to do this."
"I do. I do. But don't say I didn't warn you."
She swallowed through a giant lump in her throat. All this time, she'd considered Rollo a friend—a big, gentle bear of a friend. Every once in a while she’d caught glimpses of other aspects of his personality. But she'd never seen him this serious. "Okay. Spit it out. I'm listening."
"As you've probably noticed, I'm also strong. Very physical. That's been true since the age of about ten. I shot up, I put on muscle, I was big and powerful and a spoiled, miserable kid. Every complaint Sidney makes about our family, it's true. My mother could never make up her mind about whether she actually wanted to be a mother, so she'd hire nannies, then fire them. Then hire a different one. My father believed in crushing the opposition, and that just about everyone qualified as opposition. Including his sons. Anyway, I'm not using that as an excuse. Just describing the territory. The result of all that was that I became a bully. A rich and powerful bully. I got into fights. I beat people up at school. And I never got punished because my father loved it when I came out on top."
Brianna felt her insides shrivel up at this description. It sounded nothing like the Rollo she knew. "But you're not like that now. The only time I've ever seen you hit anyone was on the trail."
"I know. Because when I was fourteen I put a kid in the hospital. I'd overheard him saying something about me, calling me a jerk. We were in the school gym, and I just slammed him. He dropped to the floor and started bleeding from the ears. I freaked out and carried him outside. Someone had called 9-1-1 and the paramedics showed up. I handed him over and watched them save his life. He missed a bunch of school and his parents ended up moving away. People said he wasn't ever the same after that. Even his face looked different because I'd broken his cheekbone. I went to the hospital to apologize. The fear on his face when he saw me…it just ripped my heart out."
Brianna touched his arm but he flinched away.
"I don't think you're hearing me. I'm not Mr. Nice Guy. I was a rich and spoiled asshole with a punch like a jackhammer."
"You were. I'm not arguing with that. But Rollo—you were fourteen. That was what, over fifteen years ago? What about the rest of high school?"
"My father sent me to a different school. I got into boxing at first, but as soon as I had to aim a blow at someone, I freaked out. I kept seeing Dougie's face. That blood. It was terrible. I dropped boxing. Switched to cross-country running and rock-climbing. That got me outdoors, and that changed everything for me. In the summers, I stopped going back to New York and started going on mountain-climbing trips. I got a better grip on myself, and being away from my family helped a lot. I went to college as far away as I could—Fairbanks, Alaska."
"You went to college in Alaska?"
"Yup. They have a great mountaineering program. That's where I first started volunteering with the Fire Service. I did that every summer and it was great. I need a way to channel my physicality. I know that much about myself."
Hearing him say the word “physicality” drew her gaze to the rippling muscles under his shirt, the way the material stretched so tight across his wide chest.
"As soon as I turned twenty-one and had access to my trust fund, I set up a fund for Dougie. I still felt so guilty and he wouldn't even see me. His family didn't want to talk to me, but I actually got a thank-you card from Dougie's mom. I was starting to feel okay about myself. I thought I was all better. A good guy. But then my dad started pressuring me to join the company, do my
part for the Wareham tradition. I tried it for one month, and then I got into a shouting match with the CFO and nearly lost it. I knew I couldn't handle that life. So I quit and left New York. I thought about what I wanted my life to be. I didn't want to hurt people. I wanted to be a good guy. And I wanted to be outdoors working my ass off, the way I did in Alaska. So I got my red card and became a hotshot."
"Thereby saving lives and property and wild animals and trees," she pointed out. "So you are a good guy."
"Don't count on it." His low growl gave her the shivers. "You saw me on that trail. I could have killed that dude."
"He could have killed us. Geez, Rollo, I hate to say it because I'm pretty much a can't-we-all-get-along pacifist, but I'm really glad you were there and that you went after him."
He was shaking his head as if he didn't want her to defend him.
"Okay, fine, you're a big jerk for saving our lives. Damn you. Here's a question for you. What did you fight with the CFO about?"
"Excuse me?"
"When you were working in New York. You said you nearly lost it. Why?"
His mouth gave a wry twist, and a slow gleam lit his gaze. "He wanted to fire ten support staffers right before their pension became fully vested. Fucking asshole."
She poked him in the chest triumphantly. "See? You are a good guy. You're such a good guy that you've been beating yourself up all these years because of your bad behavior. If you were really bad to the bone, you wouldn't even care."
He stared at her for a long moment, then offered her such a sweet, genuine, affectionate smile that she nearly melted. "You're taking this better than I thought."
"Because I have faith in you. You're my friend."
His expression shifted, became just a little more closed off. "You really are a good friend, Bri. Thank you."
Yes. She was. The ultimate, eternal good friend. Same old Brianna.
But this moment wasn't about her. It was about Rollo finding a way to stop tormenting himself.
Summoning a bright smile, she said, "I'm such a good friend that I don't pick just anyone to grace with my friendship. Only the chosen few. You should really start appreciating it more. I don't like my friends beating up on themselves. Got it, big guy?"
Into the Flames (Jupiter Point Book 3) Page 9