Something So Irresistible

by Natasha Madison

  We have never spoken about feelings, so I don’t know how she is going to take my declaration.

  I love you more every second.

  12-23-17

  “To this day, I have never regretted anything I’ve done in my life, nothing. But with you, being with you, I regret almost everything. I regret that fucking rape charge. I regret giving Matthew’s name. I regret thinking I was so much better than him and everyone else.”

  “Max,” she whispers as she moves closer to me. “You don’t.”

  “But you see, I do.” I kiss her lips. “I never ever thought it would backfire the way it did. My life was spirally down and nothing could have stopped it till I hit rock bottom. But when those cops came in that room and arrested your brother, I was never more sorry about anything in my life. It was a mistake that I would take back in a heartbeat.” I take in a breath. “It’s because of that mistake we are going to overcome the biggest obstacle of all: your brother.”

  “You were young and stupid. I know you,” she points to my chest, “I know the man you are, the man that you strive to be, and that man would never hurt someone purposely. When it’s time, we will do it together.” She says as she leans forward, “no matter the outcome. I’ll be there.”

  She gets up to give me my box. “Open it.” I open it and see the same color box. I smile and find a stainless steel watch. Taking it out, I turn it over and smile at her engraving.

  The best moment is yet to come. Angel

  12-23-17

  “It’s perfect,” I say as I put it on my wrist and she cuddles into me. I hold her close, knowing I won’t do this for a while. The door rings and I look at the time. “That’s the caterer,” I tell her as she gets up and goes into the room to get ready.

  She comes out with her bag packed. “I called an Uber since the guy is here,” she says as she wraps the scarf around her. “You better call me.” She walks toward the door and grabs her new jacket. “I’m going to miss you.” She leans into me and kisses me, and I hug her close.

  “Merry Christmas, angel,” I say to her right before she walks out the door. “I love you,” I whisper at the closed door.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Allison

  “I’m here!” I yell out as I open the door to my parents’ house in Long Island carrying in my bag, dumping it at the door. They really should think about moving here permanently soon. “Hello.” I kick off my new UGGs and hang up my new jacket as I smile at the bangels and the bracelt and watch that I put on and refuse to take off. I walk through the doors and see the winding staircase all decorated. Lights flash, so I walk around to the back of the house, which holds the family room. “Hey,” I say as I see everyone is there. Matthew sits in the recliner with Karrie in his lap as they watch their kids run around the tree.

  I go to the couch and sit next to Cooper, who pulls me in and kisses my cheek.

  “Merry Christmas.” He smiles as my mother comes with a tray of snacks for everyone.

  “Oh, good, you’re here.” She puts down the tray and the kids run to it, grabbing chips as Matthew and Karrie tell them not too much. “I was just going to start cooking. Want to come help?” she says, knowing I’m just going to sit there and watch as she cooks. I nod.

  I sit at the island as my mother chops, cuts, sautés, cooks, stirs, and everything else. Karrie comes in not long after sitting down next to me.

  “You need help?” she asks Mom, who just shakes her head.

  “So,” Karrie says. “What’s new?” She looks down at my wrist, “Whoa.”

  “Yeah, it’s my Christmas present.” I say as I look down at the watch, the watch that he wrote he loved me on. “He engraved it.” I take it off and hand it to her. Her eyes go wide as she reads it.

  “He loves you,” Karrie whispers as she looks up and I nod. “Do you love him?”

  I look up at my mother, who stands there with her knife in midair as I admit to the world I love him. “Yes, very much so.” I wipe the tears from my eyes and smile. “I love him.”

  My mother puts her head to the side and is about to say something when my phone beeps and I see it’s a picture from Denise with the sweater I bought her as she poses in front of my Christmas tree. Wait, it’s not my tree; it’s Max’s tree. I close off the phone and look back up as they both look at me.

  “When are you going to tell them?” Karrie asks, meaning my brother and father.

  “We just started.” I try and convince more myself than her.

  “I get it,” Karrie says as she remembers the secret at the beginning.

  “Okay, enough about this. Karrie, get the plates. Aly, set the table with the tablecloth. We are going to be sixteen,” she says and I walk to the dining room and start getting the table ready.

  I take out the red tablecloth and gold napkins. The placemats are also gold. Karrie comes in with the plates and we go about setting the table. More people start to arrive, like Doug and Vivienne along with her parents. The twins finally come downstairs, kissing everyone hello. I look over at Karrie and Matthew hugging by the tree as he picks Vivi up to kiss her finger. Justin is sitting in the game room watching some movie. Cooper is hugging Mom as she cooks. My phone pings and I open it to see Denise, Steve, and Max hold up their wine glasses. I study the picture, the hurt coming at me. I look around and go to my mom first.

  “I need to go,” I tell her as she looks at me with a knowing look.

  “Where are you going?” Cooper asks. “Is everything okay?”

  “I need to go, um. It’s our first Christmas together and I need to be with him.”

  “Who is him?” Cooper asks.

  My mother takes off her apron. “I’ll drive you.”

  “No. I’m going to get an Uber,” I say, grabbing my phone, and ordering one.

  “This is going to be your first Christmas away from home,” Cooper says with a sad face, his eyes blinking tears away.

  I walk to him and wrap my arms around his waist. “I love him, Dad.” I cry in his chest. “I love him and I just left him to be with you guys, but…”

  He kisses my head as he rubs my shoulders as I cry into his chest. “He should know how lucky he is.”

  I nod, wiping away the tears as I try to get an Uber in Long Island to drive me all the way back to Soho.

  “Why is she crying?” Matthew asks as he comes into the kitchen, picking up a piece of bread.

  “I have to get an Uber,” I say, looking down, sending request after request. At this rate, I may have to steal my father’s car and drive back to the city.

  “Why?” he says as he sits down at the table and I look up at him.

  I love my brother and would lay my life down for his in a heartbeat, but I love Max wholeheartedly.

  “Because I need to go back. I just have to.”

  “I’ll drive you,” he says, not asking questions, not asking why, just doing what I knew he was going to do, make me happy. I’m about to accept when my phone pings.

  “Yes?” I say as I see the driver is ten minutes away. “I got one.” I throw my hands in the air. “I need to say goodbye.” I go to my sisters first, hugging them, and then Justin.

  Karrie whispers good luck to me as I go to hug Matthew.

  “I love you,” I tell him as I hug him.

  “He better fucking cherish you or I’m going to skate over his dick with my skates.” He kisses my head. “After I ram my stick up his ass.”

  I laugh, thinking about that picture.

  “He does,” I say, going to hug my mother next. “Thank you,” I tell her and then whisper in her ear, “for everything.”

  She grabs my face after letting go of me and looks me in the eyes. “He better do good.” Then she nods to Matthew. “Or I’ll sic that one on him.” She nods to the side. “And that one.”

  I swallow the lump in my throat, nodding as I walk to the door where Cooper is waiting with me with my jacket. “You call me when you get there. You hear?” he says as I put my arms through the slee
ves, turning around, the scene bringing me back to when I was six and he was getting me ready for school when Mom was in bed.

  “If at any time you want to leave, or come back, you call me and I’ll come and get you.”

  “Okay, Dad,” I say, grabbing his hands. “You know how I know that I love him?” I look at his surprised face. “He looks at me like you look at Mom. Like she hangs the moons and stars.”

  “Honey, she does,” he says. “I swear if he treats you bad or breaks your heart, I will rain down the house on him.” He kisses my head. “While I have him buried under it. Your mom and I have been watching The Sopranos. I know lots of things now.”

  I laugh at him as my phone shows me that my ride is outside. “I love you, Dad,” I say, hugging him, and then running out to the waiting car.

  I don’t text him the whole time I ride to his house. The road’s almost deserted. I look down at the picture that Denise sent me almost an hour ago. The three of them sitting at a table, Max’s smile, not lighting up his eyes. My legs start bouncing up and down as I watch the road and get closer and closer to him. My phone pings again with a picture of Denise leaving with four bags of food. I guess he ordered too much. I laugh and look up, knowing I’m finally here. I thank the driver and run up the stairs, trying to get there faster and faster. I dump my bag and grab the key out of my purse, opening it, and swinging it open to see the room dark, almost black, but the shades are open so the lights from outside are coming in, but the lights from the tree light up everything.

  “Max,” I say, throwing my key on the counter as he comes around the corner from his bedroom, wearing nothing but his shorts.

  “Allison,” he says almost in a whisper.

  “I love you,” I say to him from my side of the room, tears now streaming down my face as he stands there looking at me, making sure I’m real. “I love you. I didn’t say it before because I was”—I throw my hands in the air—“I don’t even know why. But sitting there at my parents’ house, with all my family, something was missing. A piece of me was missing.” I wipe the tears that are coming down. “It was missing because it was here with you.”

  “Angel, get your ass over—” He doesn’t finish because I’m running to him and jumping into his arms. He goes back a bit, but catches me as I look into his eyes, my hands going to his face. “You came back?” he asks as I nod, smiling, while tears still fall.

  “I came back to you, for you.” I kiss him gently on the lips. “Besides, you didn’t open your last gift.” I kiss him again. “Me.”

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Max

  I see her and don’t believe it’s really her. I blink seeing her in front of me and then she says the words I’ve been dying to hear—I love you. Words only Denise has ever said to me. And here she is, in her new jacket and boots, standing in the middle of my loft telling me she loves me. I don’t know what the fuck I did, but I’m not giving her back.

  “Angel,” I say, my heart beating so fast I think I’m going to run out of breath. It’s almost like I’m panting. “Get your ass over here.” I don’t finish because she’s running to me as she jumps and my arms wrap around her waist as I step back. She looks into my eyes, her hands going to my face. “You came back?” I ask as she nods, smiling, while tears still fall.

  “I came back to you, for you.” She pecks me gently on the lips. “Besides, you didn’t open your last gift.” She kisses me again. “Me.” And with that, she lets go of my face as she shrugs her shoulders. Her jacket falls off as she leans in and bites my lower lip. She hugs my neck as her mouth comes to mine. My mouth opens to hers. It’s like coming home. It’s like it was always meant to be. Like she was made for me.

  I walk to my bedroom, the lights still out since I was in the bathroom when she arrived. My hands go to her ass as my legs hit the bed. My hand roams up to her back as she locks her ankles around my waist. I moan out when pulls away from my lips, as she unwraps her legs from me and places her feet on the bed.

  “The whole time sitting there, all I wanted was for you to be there with me.” She kicks off first one boot and then another. “Then I got a picture of you here, and your smile.” She leans down, crosses her arms, and pulls her shirt up and over her head, tossing it to the floor. Leaving her in her baby blue satin and lace cushioned bra. “It didn’t reach your eyes. It fell short.” She pulls her pants down her hips as she shimmies them all the way down, kicking them off with her foot. She stands there with her blond hair all over the place in her bra and underwear and she’s legit the picture of an angel. “So I knew then and there that my place was here, next to you.” She smiles as she gets on her knees, bouncing a bit, and crawling to the edge of the bed, her hand coming out touching my bare chest. “I want to be with you.” She kisses my heart, no doubt feeling it pound erratically under her lips. “I want to be with you completely.” One hand goes to the place she just kissed in the middle of my chest.

  I place both hands on her hand. “Angel.” I shake my head. “You don’t have t—” Her finger goes to my lips.

  “I want you to make love to me. I love you.” She smiles big as tears come out again. “Like love love love you.” She laughs. “Like Romeo loved Juliet, without the dying.” She tries to make a joke of it as my thumb catches a tear that is rolling halfway down her face. “Love me, Max.”

  “I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but I’m going to prove to you that I’m that good guy you keep telling me I am.” I advance to her, my hands going to her hips, then my finger going from her belly button to her chin, her eyes following it. “I promise to never hurt you.” I peck her lips. “If at any time you change your mind, we don’t have to do this.”

  “Max.” Her hand cups my cock that is almost poking out of my shorts. “I promise that if you don’t use this on me tonight, I’m taking it anyway.”

  I laugh at her, putting my hands in her hair. “I wanted to do this differently,” I say as I tilt her head to the side, kissing her neck. “Candles.” I kiss the other side of her neck. “Rose petals.” I kiss her chin. “Music.”

  “I don’t need all that. I just need you.”

  I snap and attack her mouth, pushing her backward on the bed, as her legs open for me and I lie on my arms as I kiss her with everything that I have. Everything that I have to give her. I kiss her and then slowly trail kisses down her neck as I reach one breast, her chest going up and down. I snake my tongue out, in between her bra and her nipple. While my other hand pushes the bra down, I roll one nipple and bite the other, making her back arch off the bed. The heels of her feet dig into my bed as she is squeezing me closer.

  “Max.”

  Her hands go into my hair. I do the same to her other breast, taking it in my mouth and rolling my tongue around the pink peak. I kiss her center and travel little butterfly kisses till I get to the edge of her panties.

  “You’re everything that I have been waiting for.” I kiss her right above her elastic as I peel them over her hips.

  I’ve done this almost every day, yet I look at her, scared to hurt her, scared to not be the man she deserves. She lifts her hips, telling me she’s waiting. My heart beats so fast, my palms are sweaty, you would think it’s my first time and in some ways, it is. This isn’t fucking. I’m going to make love to her.

  “I’ve fucked up so much in my life.” My mouth goes on her, the wetness melting on my tongue like sugar. “I know I don’t deserve this gift.” I suck in and her head goes from side to side as I manipulate her clit with my tongue, my teeth, as my fingers slide inside of her, first one, then two, then three. “I can’t walk away no matter how many times my head tells me to. It’s my heart that wins out this time.” I twist them as I try to stretch her. I know she’s getting close because my fingers are being squeezed so tight I don’t think I can move them in again.

  “Max, please,” she begs me and I know that it’s now.

  I lean up on my knees, leaning over to the bedside table I keep condoms in. Grabbing one in my
hand, I tear open the corner with my teeth as she watches me.

  “I’m on the pill,” she starts saying as I stop mid tear. “When was the last—”

  And I don’t let her finish.

  “I think it was February,” I say, looking into her eyes. “I’m clean. We get tested monthly.”

  “I know,” she says.

  “I’ve never ever done this without one, not even once,” I tell her as she nods. “You’re sure?” And she nods again. I look down at her, her knees to the side, her pussy open for me. The wetness glistens, so I pull my shorts off. I grab my cock in my hand and rub the head through her folds, wetting me. I line my cock up to her opening as I push the head in a little. Her pussy grips me like a vise. I hiss out and try not to let myself take in the moment. I slide in a little at a time as Allison tenses. “You okay?” I ask her as she nods while she holds her breath. “Does it hurt?”

  “No, no, it’s fine.” She looks at me, pushing her legs back, trying to open up more. I go in a bit more. This time only the head is in. “Just do it in one shot.” She grabs onto my arms that are beside her. “Like a waxing.”

  “I’m afraid if I move I’ll hurt you even more,” I say through clenched teeth, pushing through till I’m halfway in. I swear sweat is starting to roll down my back. I go back out and push in, this time a bit more. I see her bite her teeth and hiss. I go in and out again, once, twice and then I just push all the way in as she screams, not in pleasure. I stay buried in her. “Fuck. Don’t do that,” I tell her as I feel her clench around me.

  “I can’t help it,” she says, moaning. “I think my vagina is rejecting your penis.”

  “I’m going to move now,” I say, pulling back out and then in again, this time sliding in with more ease. My arms shake from holding up all my weight as Allison’s hands stay on my hips. “You’re so tight,” I hiss out as she looks at me and I slowly go in and out till she finally relaxes a bit. “Angel, I love you” I lean down and kiss her, my tongue rolling with hers as I fill her, as she wraps her legs around my waist, our lips never leaving each other as we both dive off of the cliff together. I ride out our orgasms together, my thrusts coming slower till I’m just buried in her.