He continued to look at her as he fell silent, his eyes saying everything he could not. She prayed he wouldn’t try again to win her heart. She was strong enough now to kick him out of her life for good and never look back. Hopefully, it wouldn’t be necessary.
Simon dropped her gaze as he sighed and got to his feet. Bethany moved to walk him to the door, but he gestured for her to stay seated. ‘I know the way out.’
Pausing as he reached the door, he turned to speak. ‘I registered with your practice, so you have my number. Let me know if you ever need anything, ok?’
Going to him, she kissed his cheek before giving him a hug. ‘Be happy, Simon,’ she smiled tearfully.
He cupped her face, making sure she took in every word. ‘Follow your own advice, Bethany. Do whatever it takes to make yourself happy.’ He gave her a lopsided grin. ‘Don’t be like me.’
She had no idea how long she had stayed, rooted to the spot, after she heard the door click behind him, until her headache returned with a vengeance, forcing her back to the sofa.
What a day it had been. She never thought she would say it, but she was glad Simon had stopped by. The person she’d feared most until now had turned her world on its head. Finding out that he still loved her and had been in awe of her was a huge revelation. It sure hadn’t felt that way back then. His timing sucked though. She wished they’d had this talk and ended things in such a civil manner before she’d met Ruben. Maybe things would have been different.
Bethany sobered as she remembered how badly Ruben had deceived her. But she could have forgiven him for that eventually…hell, she had forgiven him already, if the truth were known.
There wasn’t a damn thing she could do about his attitude to fatherhood though. Every few days, she got an overwhelming urge to tell him, to see what his reaction would be. But what would be the point? He’d made his feelings clear.
She would just have to love the baby enough for both of them.
Chapter 20
Ruben stepped out onto the balcony of his parent’s Monterrey home. The mountain vista displayed before him soothed his soul and he was glad he’d decided to visit. Relieved his parents had invested his money in such a beautiful location, he toyed with the idea of buying something close by. He’d stayed away from his parents for too long. Maybe it was time to rebuild a few bridges?
He heard his mother Rosa call him for dinner. He smiled at the familiarity of the sound—more than a decade had passed since he’d heard it last, but it felt like only yesterday. Since his arrival two days earlier, he’d been pleasantly surprised. Age had mellowed his parents. His mother no longer drank at all. As for his father Hector, he had to ask him for the name of his therapist, Ruben thought with a laugh. The change in the man was nothing short of miraculous.
Entering the room to join them for dinner, he saw his father seated at the head of the table. Ruben marveled at the fact that he had never before noticed what a handsome man he was. The serenity in his face gave no hint of the angry, bitter person he used to be. Of course, he had noted the gradual change in them during the many visits they had paid him since he left home, but he’d always assumed they were on their best behavior at those times.
The people before him were almost strangers. It was time he put that right. To an outsider, they looked like a couple in their late fifties who had never had an angry word in their thirty plus years of marriage. They were the kind of people he would like to know better.
Neither of them had questioned him when he’d arrived unannounced in the middle of the night. He’d been touched to find his mother had a room ready, in case he ever visited. The joy in her eyes as she had tucked her grown son into bed had hurt Ruben deeply. He’d never considered that his parents loved and needed him, too.
Sitting down to the table, he accepted the steaming plate of food from his mother. His father cleared his throat, in the way he always did when he was getting ready to speak. ‘Ruben, I must ask you something.’ Hector waved away the look his wife gave him, her silent plea not to meddle going ignored. ‘What has happened son? Why have you chosen to visit us now?’
‘It was time. That’s all.’
Hector wasn’t satisfied. ‘Is it anything to do with the scandal over that girl who claimed you were the father of her child?’
‘Hector!’ his mother put down the serving spoon she was holding with a bang.
‘It’s okay, Mama,’ Ruben reassured her. Turning to his father, he shook his head. ‘That was six months ago and ancient history.’
‘Is it yours?’ his mother asked quietly. Shame washed over Ruben. They didn’t know. Why would they? It hadn’t occurred to him that they would be here, still wondering. He hadn’t bothered to tell them what was going on and they obviously hadn’t felt able to contact him about it.
He shook his head. ‘No. I am sorry I didn’t tell you before but I guess…I guess I wasn’t thinking straight. Once it was all over, I tried hard to forget about it.’
‘Were you serious about this girl?’ Rosa asked.
‘There was never anything between us,’ he said, choosing his words carefully. His mother didn’t need to know too much about the kind of women he’d encountered and what he done with them.
She smiled hopefully. ‘And is there anyone special now?’
Ruben pushed his plate away. ‘There was someone…but that’s over.’ He couldn’t talk to his parents about Bethany. He still couldn’t talk to anybody, after all this time.
‘You still love her, don’t you,’ his mother asked, reaching out to smooth a hand over his.
‘It doesn’t matter how I feel anymore, Mama.’ He smiled to soften his words, hoping she would take a hint and drop the subject.
‘Any woman who doesn’t want my handsome son must be crazy,’ she bristled. ‘She wasn’t right for you, Ruben.’
‘It wasn’t her fault. It was me…I ruined things and she left,’ he said, his voice flat and emotionless. Ruben was grateful for the awkward silence that fell. Thanking God when his parents changed topic, he finished his meal quickly, desperate for some time to himself.
His father found him later in the yard, watching the setting sun. ‘You know, Ruben,’ he began as he pulled up a chair. ‘We never did thank you properly for this house. Your mother and I have been very happy here.’
Ruben smiled, unsure what to say. Taking the beer his father offered they drank in uncomfortable silence, staring out over the mountain.
‘This woman you mentioned earlier…’
‘I don’t wanna talk about it.’
Hector sighed, took a long pull on his beer, and continued. ‘I was only going to say that something you love is worth fighting for.’
‘Like you and Mama?’ Ruben couldn’t hide his sarcasm. His father, of all people, was trying to give him relationship advice.
Hector chuckled. ‘You have a point. But, the one thing me and Rosa had was love. That’s why we stayed together.’
‘You sure didn’t act like you loved each other.’
‘We were young, Ruben and didn’t know what we were doing.’ He placed a hand on his son’s forearm. ‘And we didn’t know what we were doing to you either.’
Ruben swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat. ‘I’m okay,’ he said gruffly, uncomfortable with the turn of conversation. He’d spent so many years angry at his father. He didn’t know how to react to the kindness in the older man’s eyes.
‘I would like to believe that son, but it worries us to see you alone all the time. You don’t let anyone get close…including us.’
Hector sat back in his seat, realizing he wasn’t about to get a reply. Ruben wanted to give his father what he was asking for, some kind of absolution he guessed, but the words wouldn’t come.
‘You know,’ his father continued, ‘it took me a long time to overcome my demons, and I almost lost the love of my life over it. Don’t let the same thing happen to you…don’t pay for my sins.’
Ruben couldn’t begin to explain how he’d co
me to this point. Maybe he would talk to his father about it some day, when it hurt less. Now was not the time. Thankfully, his mother spared him the need for a lie.
Rosa’s voice rang out over the garden, calling her husband. Hector laughed as he got to his feet. ‘Talking of sins, I think I forgot to load the dishwasher.’ Heading into the house, he called over his shoulder, ‘don’t stay out here too long.’
Ruben watched him walk away, still reeling from the conversation. Everything he thought he knew about his father, and therefore himself, had just been turned on its head. He’d been fighting for years to prove that he was nothing like the man who had raised him. Now, for the first time in his life, he hoped he was, at least in one respect. His father had changed for the better and kept the woman he loved.
Ruben realized too that he had been hiding behind his hatred of his father for years. Any aspect of his personality he didn’t like had been blamed on his upbringing. It was time to let that go. He was a grown man and responsible for his own actions. Sure, his childhood could and should have been better, but that was history. Everybody had moved on, except for him. Hell, even Bethany had.
The shock of seeing her with Simon again had almost finished him off. He’d gone to her house a few days after the board meeting, emboldened by the hesitation he’d seen in her eyes when they spoke. Maybe he had given up too easily?
She wasn’t home when he arrived so he’d waited in his car, watching for her. Late afternoon had dragged into early evening by the time she appeared. Ruben was about to reveal his presence when he saw her driver door open and Simon jump out. He rushed around to help her before walking with her to the house, his arm thrown around her shoulders in a possessive manner that made Ruben feel ill.
The desire to break Simon’s neck almost won out over his need to get the hell away from there before he did something stupid. He’d gunned the engine, roaring away from her house, unwilling to subject himself to more torment.
Ruben could feel the temper rising in him all these months later as he remembered that day. How could Beth have been so false? He couldn’t remember how many times he’d asked her about Simon and whether she still loved him. She’d even made him feel like a paranoid jerk for being so jealous over her ex-fiancé.
He hadn’t stayed angry with her for long, though. It was his fault they weren’t together and she owed him nothing. She was a free agent and had moved on. Sure, he wished it hadn’t been Simon, but it was none of his business anymore. Ruben knew he would have felt awful no matter who she had turned to.
He’d spent many nights going over in his head what he should have done differently. Hindsight was a bitch…not only did it taunt you with the knowledge that you’d screwed up, it also showed you what could have had. His fear that Beth wouldn’t want him if she really knew him had become a self-fulfilling prophecy. She had been right…she’d never really known him. All she had seen was the man he thought he should be—one that tried to control everything around him and in the end controlled nothing, not even his own happiness.
A blaze of gold and red across the sky moments before the sun finally disappeared earned his appreciation as he took a deep, cleansing breath to chase away the memories.
He wasn’t over Bethany yet, who knew if he ever would be, but he felt calmer than he had in a long time. The visit home had done him good.
Finishing his beer, he walked back to the house. He would stay for another day or so, determined that when he left home this time, he wouldn’t be running from his past.
Chapter 21
Bethany grappled her considerable bulk up out of the chair. Ugh! She hated being pregnant. Her due date had passed and she wondered how long she would have to walk around feeling like she had a bowling ball between her legs. Donna appeared beside her instantly.
‘Beth, there is no point me being here if you won’t let me look after you,’ she admonished, walking slowly beside her sister as she waddled to the kitchen.
‘I have to keep moving, Donna. Sitting in one place is driving me crazy.’ Lowering herself gingerly onto a kitchen chair, Beth rubbed her belly. ‘Please, come out baby girl. I am desperate to see you.’
‘I wonder if she is going to look like you,’ Donna mused, patting the bump tenderly.
Beth bit back the tears that threatened. She prayed daily that the baby looked like Ruben. She missed his warm brown eyes and she longed to see them again in the face of his daughter. Donna smoothed the hair from her brow, watchful as usual and aware of her sadness. ‘All I seem to do is cry these days,’ Beth smiled through her tears.
‘Ah, the joys of motherhood.’
Beth grimaced. ‘Don’t remind me, Sis. I am not looking forward to the sleepless nights either.’ Fresh tears washed over her. ‘Oh God. What if I’m a terrible mother?’
‘You won’t be.’ Donna reassured her. ‘You’ve got me to help you. And don’t forget, we had the best Mom in the world.’
‘She had to be. She was both mother and father to us.’
Donna nodded, distracted. She was unusually solemn. Beth could see she was fighting the urge to say something. She didn’t have to wait long to find out what was on her sister’s mind.
‘Beth…’ Donna began. ‘Have you thought anymore about letting Ruben know he is about to become a father?’
So, that’s what the sad face was about. ‘I don’t want to discuss this again. You know my reasons for not telling him.’
‘I know the reasons you’ve convinced yourself of, Beth,’ she replied. ‘But is it fair to affect three lives over a matter of principle?’
‘You don’t understand, Donna. Trust is a huge issue for me and Ruben betrayed my trust. He took a paternity test and had no intention of telling me about it. That’s huge by anybody’s standards.’ Why was she doing this to her now? Donna of all people knew how heartbroken she still was over her break up with Ruben and to be reminded of it was the last thing she needed just before giving birth.
‘Coming from anybody else, I would believe it. But I know you, Beth. Be honest, your relationship was doomed from day one. The script was already written. You went into it expecting to be let down and deceived. All Ruben did was play his part.’ Beth was stunned. Donna had never spoken to her that way. And she wasn’t done either.
‘The guy made a mistake…a huge one, I’ll give you that…but that’s all it was. He probably panicked and chose the wrong course of action. But ask yourself, Beth, was he wrong to be afraid of how you would take the news?’ She paused then, allowing her words to sink in.
‘What do you mean?’
‘You overreacted, Beth. You tried and convicted him in an afternoon. The guy never had a chance to put things right and you didn’t hang around long enough to see if what you had was strong enough to overcome it.’
Bethany knew she was right. She’d said it to herself a million times since the split. It still didn’t change the fact she was about to have his baby…a baby he neither knew of nor wanted.
‘Don’t you see, none of that even matters anymore, Donna? I can’t ever see him again. I am about to have his child. A child he told me in LA he may never be ready for.’
Donna let out a harsh breath, shaking her head in defeat. ‘He still has a right to know, sweetheart. What you are doing to him and this baby now, by denying them their relationship, is far, far worse than anything he did.’
Bethany sat in stunned silence, shock at her sister’s words rendering her speechless. Straining for the indignation she should be feeling after being spoken to in such a way, she came up with nothing. The niggling pain she’d been ignoring for the past half hour kicked up a notch, causing her to cry.
‘Darling, I’m sorry!’ Donna was immediately on her feet, putting her arms around her. ‘I’ve got a big mouth. Take no notice of me.’
‘It’s not that,’ Beth wailed. ‘My back is killing me. I think the baby is coming.’
Donna started crying too. ‘Oh no, I’ve forced you into labor,’ she exclaimed so dra
matically that they both began to laugh through their tears.
Many hours later as she began to get sleepy after the emotional and physical strain of giving birth, Bethany peeked over into the crib aligned with her bed. Stretching out a hand, she watched in wonder as the small fist opened up as she touched it, just long enough to grip tightly onto her finger.
Just like her father, little Tiana Dorothea Navarro—all seven pounds of her—had stolen Bethany’s heart.
Ruben was glad to finally get off stage. It had been almost a year since he’d last played Vegas and he hadn’t wanted to return anytime soon. Memories had begun assaulting him the moment he’d stepped off the plane onto the tarmac six hours earlier. The sooner he got through the stage door and out of this town, the happier he would be.
Surprised at how raw his wounds still were, he hadn’t been able to help but scan the crowd, hoping to see her face. Of course, he’d know she wouldn’t be there. His performance had suffered badly as a consequence, adding to his worsening mood. Byron was giving him a wide berth too. Ruben felt bad that his friend always felt it was best to keep out of his way at times like this, but he guessed Byron was right.
Showering and dressing as fast as he could, Ruben was out of the stage door in minutes. Getting through the swarms of fans wouldn’t be that easy. His latest release had raised his profile again, attracting new admirers along with the ones that had followed him for years. Ruben always tried to make time for them. He’d be nothing without them. The noise level was deafening as they all vied for his attention. Security was working full time keeping the crowd under control as he followed the golden rule and ‘kept moving’. One persistent voice drew his attention.
Turning to scan the throng, his eyes landed on a teenage girl, jumping up and down on the spot. He froze as he recognized the face…but why? The girl, seeing him look her way, shouted louder. Recognition slammed into him, it was Bethany’s niece. She’s sure grown in the last year, he thought as he scrambled for her name. Guessing she wanted an autograph, he gestured to security to get her nearer to him.
For One Night Only (Siren Publishing Classic) Page 16