by E. M. Moore
The corner of his lip picked up when he looked down at me. “And you should, too. Even when you don’t have to be our guard anymore, if you want to stay being our guard, I think you should. Hell, maybe I’ll even join you.”
I smirked. “Be your own guard?”
He rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, I guess so. I’ll be my own guard and then you and I can help save the other three. How does that sound?”
“I think it sounds like a plan I’d love to follow through with,” I said honestly. “I have a question though. Would I be doing this as I am now? Or…” My tongue suddenly felt like lead in my mouth. I looked up at him. “Or will I be like you?”
His eyebrows drew in, then, his eyes widened once he caught my meaning. “You mean you’re asking if you can become a vampire like us?”
My stomach twisted and nerves pulled tight. Being a vampire was permanent. It wasn’t something I could go back on if one day I decided I didn’t want to be one anymore. It was a major decision. “I haven’t thought about it except when you were just telling me about your old guard and how she retired so young, but still at an age that was older than you guys are ever going to be. It honestly hadn’t even entered my head before. I know I should be focused on training right now and not thinking about stuff like that, but I just couldn’t help myself.”
Nicolai put his finger under my chin and forced me to look at him. “Ri.” My eyes finally focused on him and he smiled. “I can’t imagine a better existence than you being with us forever. That’s only if you choose to. It’s entirely up to you.” He hesitated. “Once we change the laws, of course. If we went rogue and did whatever we wanted, we could do it without The Council’s permission, but if we wanted to stay here, we’d need their approval. Right now, they’d never approve of a guard turning vampire. It’s unheard of.”
I nodded, my chest almost hollow. It was like standing on a cliff and having everything you ever wanted on the ledge five or six feet away, but you had to make that leap to get it. It might not seem that far away except that leap consisted of a lot of things. Failure, fear, and indecision being the most important.
“You don’t have to give us an answer right now, Ri. We have years to figure this out.”
“Good. I might need years.” I already had so many questions. Like, what did blood taste like? Did I really need to drink it if I wanted to be a vampire? That sounded gross. How long would I live? What would we do with ourselves?
A chuckle came from my left. “Did you break her?”
I looked up to find Christian had made his way over to us. Nic smirked. “No. She finally asked the vampire question.”
“Finally?” I choked out.
“She did? Really?” Connor asked as he joined us.
God, I hated that they could all hear that well. Nic nodded and then looked back at me. “We kind of all thought you’d be asking this question way earlier.”
“It made some of us nervous that you didn’t,” Connor added, then ribbed Christian with his elbow.
Christian cast him a dark look. “It was a natural reaction. When you think about being with someone forever, but know that the body they currently hold doesn’t last forever, it scares you.”
Connor rolled his eyes and called for Stephan to come over. Apparently he was never worried that I wouldn’t eventually come around. Stephan stood from his current position of examining some plants at the corner of the castle. He jogged over, barely winded when he stopped in front of us. “What’s going on?” He looked me over as if I’d gotten myself hurt somehow.
“She asked the vampire question,” Connor said.
Stephan blinked, pure joy lighting his face. “Excellent.”
Nicolai put his hand up. “I told her we wouldn’t bother her about it.” He hadn’t said that, but I wasn’t going to correct him. “I also told her she has years to make the decision.” Now that, he did say. I nodded and then turned toward the others.
They were all looking at me again. My body flushed all the way down to my toes. “I think I hear your parents calling you guys.”
“Really, Princess? That’s what you come up with? You know we can hear only about a hundred times better than you.”
I shrugged. “I just can’t take all the…looking.”
Nic bit back the grin that threatened his face. “All the looking?”
“You have no idea.”
The smiles slid off all their faces at once and then the princes stood up straight, their shoulders tensing. It was seconds after that I realized it hadn’t been because of what I’d said, but because there was someone jogging toward us. There was something to be said about voting yes for vampire. All those special abilities could really come in handy. I looked behind Nic to see the same guard from last night who’d led me through the guard wing make his way toward us. He came up to our group and bowed a little. Then, when he straightened, he looked at me. “Care to run through some training, Ariana? We wouldn’t want you to fall behind since you’re here and not at The Fort.”
I wasn’t going to tell him The Fort had shut down for the week. I would love an opportunity to train with skilled guards, whether they were retired or not. That just meant they had experience. “That’d be great.”
He waved me to follow him and I did, walking along next to him stride-for-stride. When we were a few steps away, I turned back and gave the Ravanas a small wave. Christian was glowering at the other guard’s back, Nic didn’t look much happier, but Connor and Stephan at least waved back.
I turned and kept my eyes on the group ahead of us. “So, what’s your name? I’d like to stop thinking ‘Hey, that’s the guard who took me to the guard meeting last night.’”
He chuckled. “Name’s T.J. I used to work for the Checkov’s, but I’ve been retired for about three years.”
“Three years?” I asked, still not believing they could retire so early. Especially, this guy. He still looked like he was in great shape. Who would’ve dismissed him?
“It’s a lot getting used to, I know. I can’t imagine what it would be like if I hadn’t grown up in this environment. I’m sure your mind is still spinning from all the questions.”
“You’re not kidding.”
When we finally got to the group, T.J. rattled off everyone’s names. There was no way I was going to remember them all. The only ones I did remember were the ones Nic pointed out to me earlier, and even then it was only because I’d just heard them. I recognized the woman from the meeting last night and wondered if that was the Ravanas’ last guard.
We dove into some hand-to-hand techniques courtesy of T.J. We did scenario-based training starting with small spaces such as the gas station. It was interesting learning about all the different ways to attack or defend within close quarters. I got a lot out of it. I especially liked when the guards told me different stories of situations they were caught in and then we would run scenario from there. I was proud of myself for how well I did. Well, I’d held my own at least. I didn’t fall on my face or make a fool out of myself.
At the end, the woman guard I recognized from last night strode forward. “You move well,” she said. She didn’t hide the fact that she was appraising me all day so I was glad at least that she approved. The way she watched, I was positive she was the Ravanas’ guard. I didn’t have to ask though. She confirmed it. “I’m Lex. I’m staying here until you’re ready to step up.”
It was nice to hear that it was an eventuality from her. There were others back at The Fort who didn’t think so. “Nic was just telling me about you. He said you were badass.”
A fond smile turned the corners of her lips up. “That boy. He’s such a charmer. My favorite, actually.”
Nope. I wasn’t going there. I’d keep them all thank you very much.
“I have to admit, I thought they were crazy when they came up with the plan to bring someone in from the outside, but it looks like it will actually pay off. Don’t get me wrong. I understood the need for it. Those boys can’t trust
anyone right now with all the backstabbing going on, but I was nervous about that person fitting the bill. It looks like they’ve got a good one though.”
“Thanks,” I said, dusting off my jeans from the last scenario where we had to fight back from a kneeling position. “I appreciate that.”
T.J. came over and clapped me on the back. “Your kicks are killer.”
I chuckled. “Thanks?”
“Did Lex tell you we’re heading out on a scouting mission tonight. Trying to see if we can’t find out who and where these rogue vampires are. You want in?”
“You mean, the vampires killing people are around here? Isn’t that…stupid?”
Lex shrugged. “Not if you’re trying to make waves for the people in charge.”
That made sense. “I want in,” I said matter-of-factly. If they were messing with the Ravanas, it would be my problem soon enough anyway.
Lex and T.J. exchanged appreciative glances. Then, she turned toward me. “We leave in two hours. Meet you in the guard wing.”
Then, they turned around and walked off.
Nerves twisted my stomach, but at the same time, there was a current of excitement running through me. If we could find the rogue vampires, then they wouldn’t be feeding into the human fears. No human fears, no surprise gas station attacks on my princes.
I finally felt like I was going to do something worthwhile.
Chapter Eleven
On the way back to the house, I texted the guys: Guess who got invited to go out scouting tonight???
Pride filled me. This was going to be amazing. This felt even better than beating Zeke that one time on the obstacle course because this was real life. This wasn’t some pretend competition that at the end of the day didn’t really mean anything anyway. I was going to be in the thick of things. If we found a rogue vampire tonight, or even the whole group, we could figure out what to do to take them out or get them to comply with how the world was supposed to be. If we could get them to conform with The Council’s rules, then the humans would calm down and wouldn’t be as much of a threat.
Dark, Sexy & Badass: They know an asset when they see one, Ri. Great job.
Thinks He’s Funny, But He’s Not: Ditto. Just be careful! Call us if you need something.
The Brooder: Are you sure that’s a good idea?
I smiled at Christian’s worry. There was real danger to this and yes, that hadn’t escaped my mind. But, I was going to be thrown into this world in a few months anyway. As far as I was concerned, I’d love to see some more real world action like at the gas station yesterday to prepare myself. It was the same reason why I really enjoyed the scenario training that the other guards and I had just done. It prepared you more. It took the moves, punches, kicks, takedowns, all that and let you implement them in a controlled environment, but one where you still didn’t know what would happen. You had to act on instinct.
I smiled as I texted the group back. Yes, I will be perfectly fine. I promise. I’ll make sure to call as soon as we get back so you guys don’t worry.
Thinks He’s Funny, but He’s Not: She’ll be fine. Didn’t you see how she took out that gas station clerk? My hero!
Then, Connor sent me a direct text. I mean every word of that. <3 <3 <3
Jeez. He was something else. He had me laughing and then swooning within the span of five seconds. I sent him a kissy face back. I was almost to my room now when my cell phone buzzed again. It was a whole slew of kissy faces. There had to have been about five lines of kissy faces one right after the other. Then, he topped off the message with Soon.
I walked into my room aimlessly. My body was flush again from thinking about Connor and how he’d pushed me over that amazing edge. The feelings between all of us couldn’t be controlled. I knew what we’d done had broken the rules, but I couldn’t bring myself to care. It would be the same with any of them. This pull between us meant more than some stuffy vampires trying to tell us how to live our lives. Nicolai had even mentioned earlier that they’d get the law fixed, or there was the possibility of us all running off together. I’d hate to do that to them. Make them leave their family, but I knew they would. It was both scary and exhilarating at the same time.
“Ariana.”
I jumped, almost throwing my cell phone in the process before I looked up and realized that Stephan was in front of me. My heart was in my throat and I slowly let the air out that I’d gathered in my lungs to scream. I chuckled, leaving a hand on my chest as I tried to calm myself down. “You scared me.”
“I’m sorry.”
I tilted my head at him. His green eyes were troubled, his dark brown hair wasn’t as perfect as it usually was. “What’s the matter?”
He took a deep breath, his worried eyes meeting mine. Then, he walked up to me and put his arms around me. “I’m about to sound like the biggest sexist in the world, but I can’t bring myself not to say this. I don’t want you going on the scouting trip.”
My first reaction was to balk, but then his grip on me tightened. His fingers dug deep into my back. His body was locked up tight, tense. He wasn’t handling this well at all.
“Don’t hate me,” he said. “I know something might not happen, but I can’t stand the thought of you putting yourself at risk. These rogue vampires are dangerous.” He pulled away, his gaze searching mine. “They’re not only a physical threat, but a threat to our entire world. They’re actions have repercussions and I don’t want you anywhere near them.”
I reached a hand up to cup his face. “But that’s exactly why I have to go, Stephan. They’re hurting you. The guards think they’re doing it on purpose to get the humans to rise up against you. I can’t have that. Your safety is in jeopardy.”
“In theory. If you go out there tonight, you’re going to be in direct jeopardy. Let the others go.”
“Isn’t this what I’ve been tra—?”
His voice was hard. “I know,” he all but growled. I tensed, and he reached his hand up to cover mine. He leaned his cheek into my palm. “I don’t want you doing this. I’m asking you to please not go.”
Surprise—and confusion—filled me. What was all this about? This was what they brought me here to do. “I don’t know what to say…”
“You feel this, right?” Stephan asked, learning his head into my hand more. My whole body relaxed at the connection and a fondness filled my chest. “I know you do. I know you feel the exact same thing around me that I feel around you. You’re a part of me. If I lost you, there’d be another piece of me missing. I can only stand to give up so many pieces before I won’t be me anymore. Please…”
His emerald eyes seared into mine. I wanted to tell him I wouldn’t go. I hated seeing the pain so evident in his face. I understood what my loss would do to him because it would be the same if I’d lost any of them.
He licked his lips, his green eyes darkening. “Is it just me or ever since that night we almost lost you, all I can think about is devouring you?”
I shook my head, his words taking my breath away. “No, definitely not just you.”
It was like we were stuck on a beach where the water kept eroding away the sand. In the back of my head, I was always scared that one day we just wouldn’t be there anymore. Then what? What were all these feelings for? What about this epic love? Would it be all for nothing?
“You’re sure you still feel the same way about me, Ariana? Even though I couldn’t save you the last time like I did with Zeke and Ryan?”
His face was filled with torture. I wondered if it was the same for him as it was for me. Whenever I looked at him, I remembered that I hadn’t been strong enough to take Kay out so he’d had to. I’d put that sad look on his face. “Nothing has changed for me. I can promise that beyond any shadow of a doubt.” I took one of his hands and placed it on my tattoo. “That’s you,” I said, making sure his fingertip touched one of the vines. Then, I took his other hand and placed it on my chest above my heart. “This is you, too. You’re a part of me.”
He swooped down, his lips claiming mine. He took his time exploring every curve, every inch of my mouth. In between kisses, he murmured how beautiful I was, how strong I was. When I felt his tongue kiss my lips, I opened up for him and he deepened the kiss until my brain was working on raw emotion. It was just me and Stephan. There wasn’t any barriers of the body or laws or mind. We were one with one another.
His hands shook as he moved them from the spots I placed them on. They wound into my hair, dragging my face just that much closer to his with a new angle that made me gasp. A small tremor coursed through his body, then one hand stayed at my neck while the other traveled to the small of my back where he kneaded his hand, my hips strained toward his. When he pulled his mouth from mine, I could barely breathe. He was just as affected as I was, his chest heaving in front of me as his eyes searched mine. “Remember that night I brought you back to my parents’ place and took care of you?”
I nodded.
“It took everything I had not to do this to you.” He moved closer, his breath teasing my lips. “I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t find it in myself to care anymore. If something happens, I want the memories. I want to know I did everything in my power to take care of you, Ariana.”
“Lock the door,” I whispered.
His eyes closed, then he opened them again. His cheeks were tinged pink. “I don’t have any experience,” he said, his throat working. “And I’m not exaggerating. I just know that when I’m with you now, I get this feeling like I want to explore our relationship in a different way, I want to take things farther. I—” He took a deep breath. “I don’t want you to have any unrealistic expectations from me.”
There was hesitation in his gaze coupled with worry. It must have taken a lot for him to admit that to me. I gave him a quick kiss. “I don’t have all that much experience either,” I told him. “Let’s just take it slowly, starting with locking the door.”
He nodded, this time actually letting go of me. A second or two later, I heard the click of the lock and then he was in front of me again. He smiled. “Slow sounds good.”