by E. M. Moore
“Why?” I whispered.
“You got hurt.”
I wanted to shrug it off, but I got the feeling he wouldn’t appreciate that. “You told Lex to look after me, didn’t you?”
He nodded into his blanket, the image such a contradiction to Nicolai’s normally dark exterior.
“Why? You seemed excited for me to go.”
“I was, still am. That doesn’t mean I don’t worry about you.”
I guessed I wouldn’t punch him after all. “Maybe next time you can come with us.”
He gave me a small grin, then reached out to put my hair around my ear. “Now that would be something, wouldn’t it?” He scooted closer and kissed my cheek. “Good night, Ri. I hope you don’t mind if I keep my hand on you the rest of the night. I just need to be reminded that you’re still here.”
I placed my hand over top of his and closed my eyes. I knew how he felt sometimes. If my previous life had taught me anything, it taught me that good things just didn’t happen, and they could so easily be taken away in a heartbeat if they did. Tonight though, I’d go to sleep knowing I was surrounded by my princes. I wouldn’t think about tomorrow and what The Council meeting might bring. I’d just think about the here and now, the easy breathing of the ones I cared about around me. It was enough to soothe the wrinkles out of the worries we’d had since coming here. For now, at least.
Chapter Fourteen
When I woke the next morning, Nicolai was basically on top of me. Somehow in the middle of the night, we’d ended up spooning and his leg was thrown over both of mine, effectively trapping me in his large frame. It was like I was in a Nicolai taco. I was fine with that, like, way more than fine to be trapped so close to him, but my only problem was the massive amounts of heat he gave off. Not only was I surrounded by my own blankets, Nicolai was now also my blanket. Every time I tried to give myself just a little space for some breathing room, he followed right after. It ended up turning into a fun little game. I shifted, he shifted. He shifted, I shifted.
Then, it went too far.
He moaned in his sleep. His hips moved forward, touching me in the briefest, but most salacious way. I froze, my breath catching in my throat.
He was hard on my bottom. I was too scared to move. I knew he was asleep, but at the same time, Nicolai Ravana was touching me in an intimate way. A fierce flush traveled all the way from the point of contact to the tips of my ears. Then, to make matters worse, his hand fell off my shoulder, grazing my breast in the process.
I gasped. My lungs filling with air made my chest expand until he was practically cupping me. I couldn’t move backward and I couldn’t move forward. I was in a Nicolai prison. Not at all a terrible experience. In fact, I would’ve throughly enjoyed myself except that all around me, the Ravanas were sleeping. Even Nicolai, whose thumb started to skim over my skin ever so lightly. He moved forward again like he was only trying to get comfortable except I felt all of him now. My eyes practically popped out of my head, and my traitorous body added even more heat to the mix. A light sheen of sweat broke out across my forehead. Nic showed no signs of waking up on his own either, his thumb dropping even lower. My nipple strained.
I clamped my mouth shut, silently cursing myself. Why couldn’t I control myself around them? At this point, I needed a cold shower stat. The worst part was, he didn’t even know what he was doing to me. His leveled breaths were still even, still safely away in dream land while he tortured me.
My worries over what would happen today were far away as I laid there with Nicolai, too scared to breathe anything but shallow gulps for fear he would touch me in a way that would make it impossible to want to turn back. In the back of my mind, I knew I had important things to think about, but with Nicolai’s hand—and body—so close to me, it was making it hard to even think straight let alone care about the upcoming Council meeting.
“Mmm, Ri,” his soft voice mumbled next to my ear. It wasn’t Nic’s usual huskiness, it was soft, almost sweet, which made me think he still slept soundly. He nuzzled me dreamily. I’d never pegged Nic as a cuddler before. Not until this morning. I let myself grin, hoping he was dreaming about me the same way I was lying here thinking about him.
I watched his arms tighten around me. My getting hurt last night bothered him a lot. Possibly even more than when Kay kidnapped me. He’d even warned me he was going to have to stay touching me all night, but I wasn’t expecting this when I woke up.
A sigh escaped his lips, tickling my ear. Then, his thumb traced lower, just barely grazing my nipple.
That was it. I couldn’t take it anymore. I reached up to stay his hand, except I only succeeded in helping him cup me fully over my pajama top. “Nic,” I whispered, my jaw tense. He was in the middle of shifting again, the hard part of his body rearing up to come just that much closer. “Nic,” I whispered a little more harshly.
He stilled. I froze alongside him, my breath suspended, waiting for him to make the first move. I couldn’t see him, but I could feel the realization in his body as he became aware of our situation. He conformed around me like a wet blanket, his hand wiggling out of my hold and moving to my hip so he could press me back as he angled forward. His other hand snaked under me and took the other’s place over my chest. Pleasure coursed through me, but I fought it with everything I had. I bit my lip so hard it was possible I’d even made myself bleed.
He was taut, still holding me in place when a gruff whisper sounded near my ear. “Do you know what torture it is to wake up like this?” He pulled me back again and I let go of the hand on my breast to stop the one on my hip that was intent on making me suffer. His head bowed toward mine, his lips moving right next to my ear. “I’m stopping, but only out of respect for my brothers. If I had my way, I’d—” He moaned, his hips arcing forward again. I squeezed his fingers around my hip, unsure if I was telling him to stop or urging him on now. I had a feeling I knew what he’d do and my body really liked the idea of it, even if we’d soon have an audience. “Fuck, Ri,” he said, practically growling. “I’m so gone. I need to move away now before I get us both in trouble.”
I didn’t move my hands and he didn’t pull away either. I’d always wondered about Nicolai. What it would be like with him. He was always so dark, almost dangerous looking at times. I couldn’t deny that appealed to me on a primal level. Who didn’t fantasize about the dark and sexy ones? But it was deeper than that with him. He had heart, too. An amazing one that cared for me on another level.
Without thinking, I nestled back into him.
He froze for a split second, then he reached out and bit my earlobe. I squeezed his hand, needing somewhere to put my energy instead of vocalizing it. God, I hated him right now.
“This is on you, Ri,” he said. His voice dark, husky. “It’s your move because I swear I’ll just take you. Think I won’t? Tempt me.” He nipped my lobe gain and the heat between my legs intensified. “It might not be pretty the first time, but it’ll be raw and all about feeling. When we decide to give in, I want to make you come so hard you—”
I pushed away. I scrambled into Christian and then turned around, my chest heaving as I stared at a grinning Nicolai. He didn’t look ashamed or embarrassed whatsoever. There were shadows in and around his eyes, then they lifted as the corners of his mouth tipped up.
“You win. For now,” he whispered.
Won? I was pretty sure I just lost, but holy shit. My body was shaking.
Christian propped himself up on his elbow and put his hand on my shoulder. “Hey, you okay? Did you have a bad dream?”
I shook my head, my heart still racing.
“Are you sure? You’re freaking out. Your body is quivering.”
Nic grinned and turned over, carefully concealing his massive hard-on with his blankets.
I flopped down on my back and tried to relax. Christian hovered over me. His steely blue eyes calculating as he stared at me from above. “I don’t want you to worry about today. We’ll go in and tell them the
truth, we’ll tell them exactly what happened, then we’ll get you back to The Fort so you can finish your training.”
I swallowed, trying to make my mind think about something other than Nic. It took about half a minute before I could form any rational thought. “Are you guys coming back with me?”
“Of course. Where else would we go?”
I smiled at the thought of them being there with me until the end of training. I wanted to see their faces after I kicked Zeke’s ass in the obstacle course. They could get pulled away for Council duties again. That I could live with as long as they weren’t gone for too long. If it weren’t for the fact that I needed to finish my training, I’d tell them I wanted to stay here. However, even I knew The Council wouldn’t let me do that unless I was their guard. We just needed to be patient, take things one step at a time before we were all back here again and having slumber parties in the library.
He leaned over and kissed my cheek. Instead of pulling away, his lips lingered. “You are positively ravishing in the morning.”
My face flushed. He should see them through my eyes at any time of the day. It was like looking at a GQ magazine twenty-four seven. You had your light one, your dark one, your middle of the road intense ones. It was like a smorgasbord of hot men. I took a deep leveling breath and sat up. No good was going to come from this morning if I didn’t get up and get away from them for a little while. A much needed cold shower did sound good.
Christian’s eyes narrowed as he watched me stand. I waved away his worries. “I’m going to get ready for today,” I explained. He caught my hand and pulled me back a step, his lips grazing the skin at my knuckles. His eyes were questioning, and my heart constricted. I reached out and ran my hands through his hair. “You are a sight worth waking up to every morning.”
Then, I pulled from his grasp and turned on my heel. I practically ran down that hall, then took a quick peek toward the first room, the room I’d pretty much determined the guys were holding something back about, and then continued forward down our hall. I slipped into the room I’d been given and made my way into the bathroom where I locked the door behind me. I leaned against it, my heart still racing as a smiled pulled my lips apart.
God, I was one of the luckiest women alive.
Hopefully, after this Council meeting, we could take some time to hang out together. I missed out on almost a whole day with them yesterday because I trained with the other guards and then went on the scouting trip. Remembering what happened last night, I pulled at the bandages around my forearms until they fell off and gawked down in amazement. There was barely anything there. It looked like a deep cat scratch, not the fierce vampire attack it had been. That Stephan, he was too good. I’d have to thank him later.
I showered and dressed quickly. I was just pulling my hair back into a ponytail as I left the bathroom when I found Christian sitting on the edge of my bed. He was already dressed for the day, perfectly handsome in a pair of khakis and a polo shirt. “Hey,” I said, my steps slowing when I spotted him.
He looked up, a smile lighting his face. “I was going to tell you to wear your trainee uniform, but looks like you beat me to it.”
I shrugged. “Figured it was more appropriate than regular clothes.”
I sat next to him and he immediately reached out to take my hand. The sentiment was all-too familiar. I bent my head to look at him. “You’re not afraid I’m going to take off again, are you?” I asked, bringing our entwined hands up so he could look at them. “This is what you usually do when that’s going through your head.”
He chuckled, the invisible weight on his shoulders lifting a little. “Yes? No?” He shook his head. “I just keep wondering when you’re going to get sick of all this and want to leave. I stopped you once, but now that you’ve been captured and injured,” he said, his fingers tracing over my now almost non-existent claw marks. “I don’t think I’d stop you again.”
I wanted to make a joke, but I couldn’t. He was always taking too much on himself, beating himself up for bringing me here. I didn’t know how to make him realize he’d done me the biggest favor. “I’m happy here,” I said earnestly. “With all of you. You know that.”
“But you keep getting hurt. I swear if we knew things were going to get this bad, we would’ve waited.”
“Waited?”
“To bring you into our world.”
Now that I had them, to wait even a second longer would’ve been like gasping for breath. “I want all of you under any circumstances. I don’t care if we’re constantly under attack or if we’re just hanging out. I’m finally living.”
He tucked a flyaway hair around my ear, his face a mix of emotions that I couldn’t quite place. “If only we’d been able to bring you here as one of us. If we could’ve claimed you as ours instead of having to jump through hoops first, we wouldn’t be going through this right now.”
I squeezed his hand. “If by jump through hoops you mean being a guard, I think I need to tell you something…” I smiled, letting the feeling of being needed, of having a purpose surround me. “I like being a guard.”
“That’s quite obvious, but I can’t sit back and say that it doesn’t make me nervous. Maybe I have some of that old world vampire in me, but I want you by my side, not out front fighting my battles.”
I’d always been drawn to the idea of being protected, but now that I had skills, now that I knew what my body could do, I liked the idea of both. Sometimes I wanted to feel safe, and other times, I liked the idea of fighting for those around me. “Why don’t you think of it as fighting side-by-side? You know damn well you wouldn’t let me out front of you anyway if we were ever in a bad situation.”
His blue-gray eyes looked as if a storm cloud was passing over. “You’ve already been out front. Twice.”
“And I’m still here,” I said, moving our entwined hands to my chest where I held them over my heart.
There was a knock on the door and Nicolai, Connor, and Stephan strolled in. They all looked dapper in their pressed pants and fancy shirts, different than their usual jeans and t-shirt attire. I squeezed Christian’s hand twice letting him know we weren’t done with this conversation, and hopefully reinforcing that I wasn’t going anywhere. I’d happily fight in front of him or behind him as long as he wanted me to.
“Are we ready?” Connor asked. “We don’t want to be late. Especially not with Checkov running it.”
I stood and smoothed my black pants down as if they were a skirt. I’d worn the trainee uniform on purpose. I wanted everyone to think of me as the Ravana Princes’ guard. When they thought of their safety, I wanted them to think of me.
Christian stood. “From what Dad told me last night, they’ll ask Ariana questions first. We’ll be allowed in at the same time. Then, they’ll call us up individually.”
Stephan cleared his throat and looked at the ceiling. He was pale—well, paler than normal. He’d have to recount what he’d done to Kay today. It wasn’t bad enough that he’d had to do it in the first place, now he’d have to live through it again as he told them all what he did.
Nicolai clapped him on the back. “You’ll be fine.” He turned toward me, still a mischievous glint to his eyes. “Just so you’re not surprised when you get in there, the room we’re headed to looks like a judge’s courtroom. There will be a table in the front where all the Council members sit. Off to the right is where the witnesses sit. That’s us when our time comes. There will be others looking on, I’m sure. Unless it’s a closed door Council meeting, all the meetings are open and any vampire who chooses to attend can do so.”
I peeked at Stephan and frowned. Great. Now he’d have even more of an audience. I set my shoulders back and tugged my ponytail over my shoulder so it laid down my back. “Let’s get this over with then.”
I waited as the rest of them walked from the room so I could fall in step with Stephan. “We can talk afterward if you want,” I offered I looked up at him, but he kept his face forward. “Just p
lease don’t go off and try to deal with it alone. Not again.”
He caught my eye and nodded. He’d do it for me even if he wouldn’t do it for himself. Once we got him through this, things might get better. Maybe he’d be able to put it behind him little-by-little.
I turned my attention back ahead of me, sending up a little prayer that Stephan would make it through this alright. He reached out and grabbed my hand. I entwined my fingers with his almost sighing in relief. He gave me a short squeeze as we continued to the Council meeting. Though we were just giving testimony, it seemed like much more than that. The Council would be judging us for sure. What was done was done though. Now we just needed to wait and see what they would say about our actions.
Chapter Fifteen
Just like Nicolai prepared me for, the room was large and set up almost exactly like a courtroom. However, instead of a judge up front, there was a long table with important looking vampires in business suits facing the entire room. The front of the room was raised by a few feet so the audience could see everything going on. Two steps sectioned off the seating area from where the Council members sat. The room had a dome roof with shaded glass at the top, stopping the sun’s harmful rays from shining directly down on the vampires, but still letting in a small amount of natural light from outside. From what I’d seen of the vampires, they liked the best of both worlds. They wanted the light, but they didn’t want to be out in the sun where it could harm them. It was a bit like having your cake and eating it too. They liked having human guards for their protection, but they also wanted to regulate that by putting measures and restrictions on people. I almost laughed when the thought occurred to me. This no “real” feelings for human guards was like putting shaded glass over the guards. They were there, but not really, and only when they needed them.