“Don’t mention it,” I told her sincerely. “I’ve been meaning to get out here anyway and spend some time with the little guy. I just had to get set up on the property first.”
Becky smiled tightly and nodded. She paused by the doorway to our parents’ room, gently opening it. My chest constricted as I looked in at my mother’s frail body, lost in the queen sized bed. She was skin and bones, her lids closed and fluttering against her cheeks. Her once lusciously dark hair seemed faded and wiry against her pillow.
“She’s sleeping,” Becky said, her voice full of apology as she gently closed the door. “She needs to rest, but when she wakes up…she’ll want to see you. She’s been asking about you a lot lately. I think she’s been hanging on to see you.”
I nodded, my throat tight with emotion. Becky hesitated for a moment before her slender hand reached out to grasp mine. She squeezed tightly before dropping it, gesturing down the hallway.
She led me down the hall to Aiden’s room, my old room. The door was open and my little nephew was sitting on the car area rug in front of his bed, pushing a bunch of Hot Wheels around. He heard us in the hallway and looked up, his crystal blue eyes, so much like his mother’s, staring at me blankly.
One of my biggest regrets was not being around enough for Aiden to know who I was. Becky talked about me often, and I’d seen pictures of him and I was sure he had seen pictures of me too, but this was the first time I’d seen him since his early birth.
“Aiden, you remember your uncle Brock, don’t you? He’s going to hang out with you today,” Becky said, crouching down so she was nearly level with him. Aiden nodded solemnly, looking from his mother to me. “You be good for uncle Brock, okay buddy? I’ll be home after dinner, just in time to tuck you in,” she added, hugging him goodbye. Aiden wrapped his arms around her and nestled his little head into the crook of her neck.
“Bye-bye Mom,” he said sadly. Becky smiled at him and ran a hand through his dark hair before she stood up. She gestured to me to follow her out into the hall.
“Beth-Anne will be here in about an hour or so to take care of mom for the day, so you won’t have to do much for her. Just…keep an ear out and check in on her every now and then. He’ll have a peanut butter sandwich for lunch and there’s a twenty on the refrigerator if you want to order pizza for dinner. There’s a park down the street if you’re bored and need to leave the house once Beth-Anne gets here and…”
“Becky, we’ll be fine. I’m capable of taking care of other people, in case you’ve forgotten,” I interrupted gently.
When Mom was working and Dad was passed out on the couch, it was me who took care of my younger siblings. I made sure they ate dinner, did their homework, took baths and got to bed on time. It was a lot of responsibility when I was just a kid myself, but I’d done it because I knew our old man wouldn’t.
Becky’s shoulders relaxed and she smiled at me. “Okay good,” she said, walking down the hallway and grabbing her purse from a kitchen chair. I followed her, leaning against the wall as she slipped her work shoes on.
“Would you mind if I took him to the rodeo today?” I asked.
Becky’s head snapped up at my question, surprise lining her features. “You’d want to take him to the rodeo?”
“Yeah, why not?” I shrugged, suddenly doubting my idea.
Becky chewed on her lip, considering me. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?” She frowned, her gaze drifting down the hallway toward where Aiden was playing. “What if he gets lost?”
“He won’t get lost; I’ll make sure of it.”
“Okay…yeah. Yeah that’d be great,” she said, smiling. “I’ll grab the car seat.”
* * *
Waiting for the hospice nurse, Beth-Anne, was difficult. As soon as Becky pulled out of the driveway, I felt the walls of our childhood home closing in, suffocating me. Seeing her once was like a bullet to the heart. I knew it was the medication, the pain killers she took, but seeing her like that only added to my internal panic. Hunter sensed this, and leaned his body against mine while he happily accepted a thousand pets and hugs from Aiden.
I’d put on a movie, turning the volume up just enough so that I’d be able to hear any sounds coming from down the hall. Part of me felt like I should go check on her to see if she was awake. The other part cautioned against this. I didn’t need to fall to pieces right now, not when I was responsible for Aiden. Not when I’d already promised him a fun day at the rodeo.
Besides, I couldn’t walk down the hall into her bedroom. I couldn’t see her like that again, bed ridden and dying. I knew that made me a terrible son, but I just wasn’t strong enough. Not yet. I couldn’t watch her sleep, knowing that she’d soon be taking her last breath.
My mother had endured so much in her life, and I didn’t forgive her for some of it, like our dad. I resented her for not leaving him when we were kids. I don’t think she understood the gravity that simple action of staying had on us, on her kids. Not until Becky was in an abusive relationship herself, not until Becky had almost lost her unborn child.
Instead of remaining apart, struggling with the individual burdens of our own lives, we came together for the first time ever as a united front. We stopped pushing each other away. I had their unwavering support when I went to jail. Mom did everything she could to afford a decent lawyer and get me a lighter sentence. Becky moved back home, and Mom and Braden helped her as best as they could with Aiden while I was behind bars. The second I got out, I took the highest paying job I could find that would lighten their financial burdens.
About three months ago, Mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. It was too late for treatment and she’d opted out anyway. Now, according to Becky…she slept away most of her time, too exhausted to open her eyes. She was fading fast, and it was obvious that she didn’t have much time left.
And I had a lifetime of things to say to her.
Hunter’s bark alerted me to the black SUV pulling into the driveway, parking where Becky’s car had been. I silenced him by lifting my hand and he sat down, waiting.
A jovial looking middle-aged woman pushed open the front door and strode inside. She was carrying a large paper bag with what looked like medical supplies. She paused when she saw Aiden and me sitting in the living room, her friendly face breaking out into a wide grin. “Hi there, I’m Beth-Anne. You must be Brock!” she said, approaching me with purpose and thrusting her free hand at me.
“Yes, ma’am. I am,” I responded automatically, shaking her hand. “Can I help you with your bags?”
“These? Nah,” Beth-Anne said, placing them on the dining room table. “Good afternoon, Aiden.” Her voice was warm and affectionate and Aiden’s solemn little face broke into a grin just as big as Beth-Anne’s.
“Guess what! I’m going to the rodeo!” he declared with wide eyes.
“That’s exciting! Is your uncle taking you?” Beth-Anne asked, keeping her eyes focused on him.
“Yup! Uncle Brock. I just met him today, but I like him. He has a dog and his dog is nice!” Aiden said, my heart warming at the seal of approval.
Beth-Anne’s gaze went down to the dog at my heels and her smile wavered a little. “Is he now?”
“Don’t worry; Hunter is friendly.”
“He looks like a wolf,” she commented, eying Hunter distrustfully. I chose not to respond. “Are you taking the dog with you to the rodeo?”
“No,” I responded, knowing that it would be chaotic enough keeping track of my nephew. “I’m going to drop him off at my place before we go.”
She nodded, her shoulders easing at my answer. “Well, have fun! Try to win me a prize, okay Aiden?”
“Okay, Beth-Anne.” Aiden nodded with determination. “I’ll win you the biggest bear there!”
Installing Aiden’s car seat took little to no time. Within ten minutes, we were on the highway heading back to the property so I could drop off Hunter.
I hooked the long chain up to his collar and left him wit
h a lot of water. Hunter preferred being outside, but he tended to wander when given the opportunity, especially when I wasn’t around, and I didn’t want anyone to mistake him for a wild wolf.
Hunter lay down beneath the large maple tree resting his head on his paws and gave me a narrow, unimpressed look as I drove away without him for the second time in two days.
“Do you like horses?” I asked Aiden, watching his face in the rear-view mirror.
“Yeah, they’re okay. I prefer dragons though.”
I chuckled. “Well, the rodeo doesn’t have dragons unfortunately, but they do have horses and a petting zoo.”
“That will do.” Aiden sighed heavily, and I couldn’t help but grin.
* * *
The fairgrounds were packed, but we made our way in easily enough. Aiden’s tiny hand practically disappeared in my big one, but he didn’t try to run away. If anything, the crowd made him move closer to me. He was intimidated by all the people. I didn’t blame him, he was so small and everyone else probably seemed so huge to him.
One blue cotton candy stick later, we were making our way over to the petting zoo. Aiden loved the animals and they seemed to love his sticky hands. He giggled as they licked the cotton candy remains from his fingers.
When he grew bored of that, I took him over to the ride area. There was a section just for kids, and he tugged my hand the entire way there. He spotted the only roller-coaster, dragging me into the lineup. We waited our turn among the other little kids who were hopped up on sugar.
We waited a good ten minutes before it was finally our turn to board the miniature ride.
“I’m sorry, sir, but you’re far too big to accompany him on these rides,” the carnival worker said, stepping in front of me and blocking me from entering the tiny dragon rollercoaster that Aiden was hell-bent on riding. He was eyeing my build warily. I stood at just over six feet tall, and I had a lot of muscle from spending the majority of my free time working out.
Alberta had that in common with jail; there wasn’t much to do in the entertainment department, and working out was the healthiest option. Other guys I’d worked with got into heavy drugs just for a bit of fun. Me, I needed to keep a clear head. I would never fall into addiction the way my father had.
I couldn’t blame the carnival worker for his concern; I could probably snap the frame of that tiny little rollercoaster with my weight.
“Do you want to go alone?” I asked Aiden, crouching to meet his eyes.
He looked up at me fearfully, shaking his head.
“Sir, you’re blocking the rest of the lineup…” I could tell the carnival worker was uncomfortable. Instead of giving him trouble, I gently led my nephew away from the front of the line. I scanned the crowd, looking for a suitable replacement to take Aiden on the dragon rollercoaster. Luckily, at that very moment, my brother and his girlfriend approached.
“There you are!” Braden grinned, his smile softening when he caught sight of our nephew. For all that he wasn’t, Braden was a good uncle. He somehow managed to keep his arrogance at bay when Aiden was around. My mother too, for that matter. I had to respect him for all he’d done in my absence. He’d dealt with our sick mother, helped Becky out with Aiden and still managed to carry on a very active social life, from the looks of what I’d seen.
My eyes briefly darted to his girlfriend. She was thin and probably a good ninety pounds lighter than me. She was smaller than the mother I’d just witnessed climbing into a cart with her daughter.
“Elle, would you mind riding on the dragon roller-coaster with Aiden?” I asked, gesturing to the ride.
“Sure,” she said, freeing her hand from Braden’s. She crouched down, smiling at Aiden. “Do you want to ride with me?” she asked. Aiden nodded eagerly and reached for her hand. She smiled gently and led him back to the lineup.
“Guess you’re too big?” Braden joked, smirking.
“Not like you’d have that problem.” I snorted.
Braden frowned, his eyes narrowing. “Well fuck you too. I was going to invite you to go to the community bonfire tonight, but not after that douche comment.” He smirked.
“Why would I want to go to that?” I asked.
“It’s a good brother bonding experience.” Braden shrugged, watching Elle and Aiden on the ride with a bored expression.
“Nice try, Braden. Cough up the truth.”
“That is the truth,” he responded, giving me an arrogant grin. “And Tessa will be there. Who knows, you might catch a little tail tonight if you’re lucky.”
At the mention of her name, my stomach did this weird little flip thing and I instantly thought back to this morning. Braden’s next words sealed my fate.
“Besides, I already told Becky we were all going to take Aiden to the bonfire. She’ll be meeting us there after she gets off work,” he added as Elle and Aiden approached us, still holding hands. Aiden had the biggest grin on his face.
“Can we go again?” he pleaded, looking up at Elle for permission.
“Oh buddy, I’m sorry,” Elle said, crouching down to look at Aiden with her expression full of apology. “We have to go now. We’re going to watch the strongman competition.”
“What’s a strongman competition?” Aiden asked, his eyes going wide with astonishment.
“It’s when a bunch of muscly guys show off how strong they are. Do you want to watch it, Aiden?” Braden answered with a troublesome grin.
“Okay!” Aiden nodded eagerly, before I could intervene.
“Are you sure Becky’s going to be okay with this?” I demanded. Somehow, I couldn’t see her comfortable with the idea.
Braden shrugged. “She’ll get over it. Let’s go.”
It appeared my mind was made up for me as Aiden clung tightly to Elle’s hand and followed her towards the show ring. Braden kept smirking at me, as if he knew I was pissed off about it. I had to take several deep calming breaths so I wouldn’t get angry and say something I’d regret.
Elle shimmied her way into the stands, gently leading Aiden with her, while Braden and I followed behind them. She found us seats in the middle with a perfect view of the ring and pulled out her phone, quickly firing out a text.
The strongman competition was boring, but Aiden seemed enthralled with it.
“I want to go meet that guy!” he declared, pointing at one of the competitors.
“I’m sorry, bud. We can’t go see the competitors. Let’s go get some hot dogs and check out the tractors,” I suggested. “Want to ride on my shoulders?”
“Alright.” Aiden sighed deeply, as if he was doing me a favor. I couldn’t help but laugh a little as I scooped him up.
“See you at the community bonfire.” Braden grinned.
Tessa
It was the final evening of the rodeo and the fairgrounds pulsed with bodies and energy. Tomorrow, they would start to take down all of the midway rides and pack up the rodeo for another year. The final events were the chili cook-off and community bonfire.
Both events were pretty huge; it was the last hurrah, so to speak. People came from far and wide for a taste of Sue Thompson’s award-winning home cooked chili. When dusk fell, they would light the huge bonfire and set off fireworks. There was a wooden dance floor set up with a live DJ and there was plenty of booze for those who weren’t underage.
I met Elle at the gates after the strongman competition. After going to Brock’s trailer (and successfully having my mind completely blown to smithereens by him), I’d continued on my job hunt quest. I’d returned home with little to no promise of any leads, feeling defeated. Then, I changed into a pair of torn, dark denim jeans, a cream tank top and grabbed a sweater from my desk chair. It was supposed to get chilly tonight and I didn’t want to freeze. Right now, even with the sun slowly setting, it was hot.
“Mom’s already set up. She just needs us to help serve it. Braden’s on dish duty,” Elle explained as we walked through the fairgrounds.
“How’d you manage that?”
/> Elle smiled secretly. “I have my ways.”
“Okay, ew.” I rolled my eyes.
Elle’s mom won the chili cook-off, again. No surprise there. Once the judging was over, we spent the next two hours ladling out and keeping up with the crowds that couldn’t get enough of Sue’s chili, all while I tried to keep my thoughts away from Brock Miller.
I filled the plastic bowl in my hand and looked up, passing it to the ridiculously large body builder in front of me; he was still wearing his competition number. He took the bowl and gave me a worn smile before leaving the lineup. When he left, the tall, dark and handsome object of my affection stepped forward.
Brock was smiling at me, his eyes roaming my body. His tongue darted out to sweep across his lips as if he was trying to taste something. With the hooded way he was looking at me, I could guess what he was thinking about. His stare was enough to unravel me and I nearly dropped the ladle into the chili pot.
“Tessa,” he drawled, his eyes finally finding mine. I swallowed and gave him a small smile in response. “Could we get two bowls, please?”
“Of course,” I murmured, my eyes finally dropping down to see that Brock was holding someone’s hand; a little boy, who looked no more than three years old. He had dark hair and bright blue eyes.
“This is Becky’s son, my nephew,” Brock told me, sensing the unasked question. I flushed; I knew his sister had a kid, of course, but there’s always that moment when you see the guy you like with a kid and you can’t help but wonder…
I ladled a large serving into one bowl and a child’s sized portion into another. I handed them both to Brock, then offered two buns to the little boy. “Here you go. It’s a little hot.”
“Thank you,” the little boy said, smiling shyly at me.
“Will you be at the bonfire?” Brock’s voice called my attention to him and I bit my lip when our gazes locked. It was funny that I’d thought he was so mysterious when I first saw him the other night. I supposed in a lot of ways, he was still mysterious. I didn’t know a thing about him, I didn’t know about his past or his plans for his future, but I could still understand him. His eyes were almost transparent. Right now, the need I felt within my core was echoing in those metallic eyes as he gazed at me.
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