“Kristie and I were just discussing the delivery room,” Pamela said and Kristie looked up in alarm. “She was saying she wouldn’t be able to do a natural birth.”
Gray snorted. “I wouldn’t be able to do that either. Anyone who does is a saint.”
“There’s nothing shameful about needing medication,” Pamela replied, although her gaze had softened. “I’ll be there every step of the way.”
“Thanks, Mom. With you and Gray there, it’ll be perfect.”
Something flickered across Pamela’s face. He was out of the loop but it didn’t take a genius to know that Pamela must not want him in the delivery room. The conversation swung to birthing techniques. His own uncle was silent. Gray knew talking about this was probably dredging up memories of his mom and when she gave birth to him. It couldn’t be easy on his uncle, Gray noted as he took a bite of the chicken.
Kristie barely ate her dinner. Afterward, she offered to help clean up but Gray shooed her off. He didn’t want her up and moving around too much. Luckily, that was when Megan decided to cry her earth-shattering squall, and Kristie tottered off to go tend to her.
While it was good that Gray managed to get Kristie away from her mom and any stressful conversations, it now meant that he was alone with Pamela. She was silent as she began to clean the dishes. Gray brought more over and hesitated. He felt weird just leaving her to do the dishes in his apartment.
“I can do that, Pam,” he offered.
“I have it, Gray, thank you.”
Okay, time to try again. He cleared his throat. “Dinner was delicious. Thank you.”
“Kristie didn’t seem to enjoy it.”
“Oh. No, her stomach is just off right now. She usually eats dry food.”
Pamela huffed. “I wish someone would have told me that before I made it.”
“Sorry, I thought you—”
Wrong thing to say. Shit.
Pamela turned to face him, her eyes blazing, even though she had both hands stuck in a sink full of bubbles.
“No, I didn’t know, Gray. I don’t know what Kristie is thinking anymore. I don’t know how she is dealing with the pregnancy. Or Megan. Or Kass and Rick being murdered. Or being shot at by her ex-boyfriend. But I can guess that it isn’t good.”
He took a deep breath, counting to ten. Back in the old days, this would have resulted in him telling her off and storming out of the apartment. But that was before he had actual responsibilities. Plus, he understood why Pamela didn’t like him. Everything she listed had put Kristie in danger and almost all of it was his fault.
“Pamela, with the baby due so soon and with Megan…I mean, I want us to get along. Can’t we work toward that?”
But she was already shaking her head. “We’d get along if you left Kristie alone. I can help her with the children. That’s the only way we’d get along.”
With that, she turned back to the kitchen sink. Even though it was his apartment, he felt like a scolded child and slunk out of the kitchen.
***
Megan giggled and looked up at Kristie, who poked her again. Another adorable giggle emitted from the green-eyed girl. Kristie’s heart melted.
“If you were an ice cream flavor, you’d be chocolate chip mint,” she whispered to her.
“No way, she’d be coffee,” Gray said, walking into the living room.
Kristie frowned. “Coffee? How can that be your favorite ice cream flavor?”
Her mom had left after dinner, promising to come over again soon. Great… still sour after the conversation she had with her. Not wanting Gray in the delivery room was ridiculous. He was the father of the child. He would be there. There was no debating it.
Gray handed her some toast which was all her stressed out stomach could handle today. “Because it is delicious.”
Kristie rolled his eyes and handed Megan off to Gray. He sat down on the couch with her as she nibbled on her toast.
“Look at your adorable big cheeks,” Gray said to Megan.
Through a mouthful of toast, Kristie replied, “She got that from Kass. She had these big fat baby cheeks up until puberty.”
The thought of Kass was still enough to make her sad. She tried to banish them. She looked forward to the day when thinking of Kass brings only happy memories instead of sad feelings.
“Your mom noticed you didn’t eat dinner.”
“She knows my stomach is all messed up.”
Gray looked up at her. “She doesn’t like me, Kristie. I get it. But it isn’t going to make things any easier in the future.”
Kristie sighed, remembering her own conversation with her mom. “I know.”
Chapter Three
Gray stifled an exhausted yawn. Megan had been crying all night, fussy over something or other. He had been the one to get up, since Kristie needed her rest. Finally Megan fell asleep around five in the morning. Gray had fallen asleep in the rocking chair. His whole body ached now.
Even so, he trudged off to work a morning shift at his uncle’s shop. He didn’t have a chance to speak to Kristie about taking on extra hours yet. It would help out with money but would put more pressure on her in regards to the children. He didn’t want her to be overwhelmed with the extra burden. While he was thrilled she was making real progress in therapy, he didn’t want to do anything that could cause her to fall back.
At the end of his shift, he got into his truck. Not for the first time, his hand twitched. He was about to reach for his phone and call Rick when he remembered that there was no one to call. He sat there in silence, staring at the busy road in front of him. Not having Rick to call made him feel aimless. You would know how to get out of this mess. You were going to find a way to get out with Kass and Megan.
But moving away hadn’t worked. The Infernos made sure of that. If Gray tried to move away, what would stop them from going after him and his family? That was why he decided to meet up with the rest of the Devil’s Advocates and tell them that he was ready to call for peace.
They weren’t going to like it. In Gray’s haste to rebuild the gang, he opted for pure numbers instead of people who had solid heads on their shoulders. There were going to be a lot of unhappy people craving blood and not wanting peace at all. He wished he wasn’t so quick in pulling people into the gang. He was constantly working on his impulsive urges. He had made headway over the past couple of years but still wasn’t perfect.
If he could talk to Ben from the Infernos and agree to some sort of treaty and put this all behind them, then Gray would do it. He would agree to a treaty and walk away from this life completely to focus only on his family.
The only fault in his plan was that he didn’t know who was really running the Infernos anymore. Gray’s gut told him that it was actually Armand, who had wanted the Devil’s Advocates and when he couldn’t get it, ended up going to the Infernos instead. Gray told himself there was no point in beating himself up over not trusting his gut about Armand. Before, he’d wanted blood. Now he just wanted to settle down with his children and his wife in peace.
The group met at a small diner off the main drag of town. Their bikes crowded the front of the parking lot. Gray parked his truck, fighting a pang of longing for his own bike. It had been too long since he rode around town. He remembered how much he looked forward to the rides with the gang when the only thing that mattered was the highway in front of him. That felt like ages ago, when things made some semblance of sense.
Shaking off thoughts that would lead to Rick, Gray walked inside the restaurant. He spotted the group right away at a large table in the back. He still didn’t know who the rat was that leaked Rick’s bomb idea to Armand. He knew it had to be one of the original three remaining members left. He would have to speak respectfully about going to Ben and the Infernos. That way, if the spy was still around, he would report back to the Infernos what he said.
Seeing the gang, Gray suddenly felt weary of it all.
He sat down next to Dern, who seemed to be thrilled that the l
eader sat next to him. Half of the group was already stuffing their faces with food. The other half gave Gray nothing more than a head nod to show their respect. This entire club is slipping through my fingers. The thought didn’t upset him as much as it used to. If it wasn’t for Armand gunning after me, I could easily walk away from all of this. How could something that had once shaped and formed him now mean so little to him? Gray knew it was because of his new family and Rick’s death.
“So,” Dern said, the only one clearly excited to see Gray here. “What do you want to talk about, boss?”
“The Infernos.” Gray’s eyes flicked around the group, watching to see if anyone showed a sudden interest.
No one did. Gray tried to keep his annoyance down. Rick would have listened. But if Rick were still alive, Gray wouldn’t be attempting to form a treaty with the same assholes who shot Kristie. No more violence.
“What about them?” Dern asked.
“I was thinking we need to come to terms with them.”
At this, one of the newer members looked up. “Are you fucking serious?”
Gray tried to remember his name; the man was covered head to toe in tattoos. “Yes, Grant. I'm serious.”
“Why the fuck would we do that?”
Other people nodded in agreement, and Gray tried to keep his voice level. “Because I don’t want any more people dying. I don’t want them to go after our family members, as we already discovered they do.”
Grant took a bite of his burger and the next words were spoken with his mouth full. “No offense, but wasn’t your wife fucking their new boss? They’re not going to go after my girlfriend.”
God, I want to fucking punch you. Gray bit back the venom that was about to spew out of his mouth. Rick would have glared at this guy, and he would have shut up. Stop thinking about Rick.
“Beautifully spoken,” Gray replied, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “I’m guessing you want this cycle of pointless violence to continue?”
“Depends. What terms are you going to offer the fucks?”
The rest of the others were listening now. It didn’t sit well with Gray that they were only paying attention now that Grant was speaking.
“Splitting the town up. Separating the turf. Working out a deal with the car races. Maybe shared income on victories. The Infernos don’t have nearly as much control as we do. They’re just more aggressive. They’ll take the turf we offer them, with a promise of working together in the future,” Gray said to the group.
The group was already mumbling and Grant shook his head. “What the hell? Do you hear yourselves?”
“If we don’t do this, then the cycle of violence will continue.”
“I’ll kill them all myself!” Grant exclaimed, and the group nodded in agreement.
I brought a bunch of children and bloodthirsty idiots into this gang. Gray wished he had ordered a beer.
“I think it’s a good idea,” Dern said suddenly.
“Anyone else?” Grant countered.
The others remained silent, showing Gray nothing but sullen faces. The only person who agrees with me is a fucking teenager. He glanced over at Dern.
“Looks like no one wants peace with the assholes who ruined our warehouse, our bar and our fucking main source of income.” Grant went back to eating his burger.
Gray bit his tongue to stop from pointing out that Grant hadn’t even been around for any of those things. He wasn’t even around when Rick and Kass were gunned down. Instead, Gray stood up suddenly, not even having ordered anything and turned to leave. No one said anything.
As Gray headed toward his truck, someone called out to him. He turned around to see Dern jogging over. He was scrawny and his jacket was too big for him, hanging over his hands. He looked like a little kid trying to dress up in his father’s clothes.
“Hey, wait up!”
“What is it?”
“I agree with you. Your plan, I mean. Grant is…he’s been getting the guys riled up lately. Says there isn’t enough action. That you’re a…”
“I’m a what?”
“A pussy,” Dern said quickly, looking apologetic. “But I don’t think so, boss. I saw you when you were looking at bars the day of...” He trailed off, skipping over Rick’s death. “Anyway, Grant didn’t join us until after that. He didn’t see what I saw. I know I haven’t been in as long as Pete and John. But I’m with you.”
Dern’s eyes were wide and hopeful. Gray tried telling himself that two minutes ago, he had the entire gang against him. But now he had at least one person wanting to help him. Dern wasn’t the rat. It had to be either Pete, Jonathan or Paul.
“Okay,” he finally said. “So what do you want to do to help?”
Chapter Four
Kristie felt as if she was carrying a horse inside of her. It was silly, she knew, but she couldn’t get over how huge she felt. Just trying to push the shopping cart was a feat in itself. Megan gurgled from her seat in the cart, her eyes wide as she looked around the supermarket. Normally, Kristie would have asked Gray to do the grocery shopping, but he’d had a rough night with Megan. She didn’t want him to do everything.
Besides, he seemed distracted this morning. He was still too tight lipped about the gang for her liking, but he seemed to be trying to make changes. He spent less time with the group and on more than more occasion had commented that his heart wasn’t in it anymore.
Kristie understood how much the gang had meant to him as he grew up. She could even understand his need for revenge after Armand had shot her. But she was secretly pleased that Gray started pulling out of the endless cycle of violence between the two gangs. They already had Megan and now a second baby was on the way. She would not raise her kids in such an environment.
“I am always undecided on what brand of instant potatoes to purchase as well.”
The voice from behind jolted Kristie out of her thoughts. It was John, although he was out of his police officer uniform. He looked tired but otherwise the same. It seemed a lifetime ago since the two of them tried to date. Not only did it not work out, but he had made constant references to her weight, which she got enough of from her own mother, thank you very much. On top of that, he was convinced that Gray killed that man in the racing accident a couple of years ago. Gray was innocent but he had to skip town to lay low until it had passed.
Since then, John took a leave of absence, probably to get his head back in order. She hasn’t had a real conversation with him since then.
Still, she minded her manners and forced a smile. “Some of them taste like cardboard.”
He took a step forward, and Kristie turned to face him. That was when he got a full view of her belly, and his eyes widened in surprise. Almost protectively, Kristie placed her hand on her baby bump.
“Surely you knew?” she asked him.
“I wouldn’t have any reason to. I knew you had taken Megan in but…”
Kristie assumed it was true. How would he have known she was pregnant? They didn’t run in the same circles and the only time he hovered around was when it had to do with Gray. John always wanted to nail the Devil’s Advocates against the wall. He doesn’t need to. At this rate, they’ll do it themselves.
“You’re doing well then?” he asked.
“Yes, thanks. And you?”
“Well enough. Always busy with police work. You’ve recovered then? From the shooting?”
“Yes,” Kristie said, hoping he’d drop it. “I’m fine now.”
“I heard it was touch and go there for a while. Gray seemed upset.”
“He’s my husband. Of course he’d be upset.”
John looked as if he was on the verge of saying something that would piss her off but thought twice about it. “I’m glad you’re doing well then. Tell Gray I said hello.”
Doubt it. “I’ll let him know.”
John turned to wheel his cart away. Then he stopped. “Kristie? If you need anything, just call me, okay?”
“That’s alright. Besides
, I don’t have your number anymore,” she replied, hoping he got the hint.
“I still have yours. I’ll text it to you.”
Then he left the aisle. Kristie watched him go, irritated that he ignored the fact she didn’t want his number nor did she want to contact him. Megan let out a loud cry, and she turned back to her daughter, all thoughts of John washing away.
***
Kristie found herself waiting up for Gray. It was strange, she mused, to be stuck in this position again. It had been a long time since Gray hadn’t called or texted her that he would be late. Megan was already fast asleep. Kristie, feeling as big as a house, had her feet propped up and was watching TV, waiting for him. Her eyelids were heavy with desire to close and drift off to sleep. But she gripped her cup of water tighter, resolving that she would stay up.
Devil's Advocate: A BBW MC New Adult Romance Series - Book 4 (Devil's Advocate BBW MC New Adult Romance Series) Page 2