“But I did too,” Barb jumped in.
“From Caldwell’s garden?” I asked.
They both nodded.
“Why?” I asked.
The Tweedles looked at each other. It was as if Caldwell and I weren’t in the room.
“Because he hurt you,” Betty said. “Why did you do it?”
“Because I wanted to teach him a lesson. I was still mad about him marrying Annette. Give him a taste of his own medicine.”
“I didn’t mean to kill him.”
“I didn’t think he’d die. I just wanted to give him a bit of a fright. Make him think twice about what he had done to me.”
“It wasn’t very much. Just a pinch.”
“I was so careful to put only a dash in the drink.”
“He didn’t seem to notice it.”
“He drank it right down.”
“I did it for you.”
“I did it for us. So he would know what it felt like to be hurt.”
They threw their arms around each other and started to cry.
Caldwell and I looked at each other. He made a face and took a sip of his tea. I followed suit.
Finally, deflated, the two Tweedles sank down into chairs. “What’s going to happen now?”
“Well, we have to tell someone,” Caldwell said.
“I suppose,” Betty agreed.
“It’s the right thing to do,” Barb added.
“You didn’t mean to kill him?” I asked, feeling sorry for them in their predicament, understanding it a little too much for my comfort.
“Oh, no, not Howard.”
“We really both loved him, in our own ways.”
When we were done with our drinks, Caldwell called the police.
THIRTY-THREE
Kidnapped
I’d be surprised if the Tweedles got much time at all,” Caldwell said the next night as we sat at what we now considered our curry place, the restaurant we had gone to eat at my first night in London. We had just finished our meal. I was pretty sure we were on a date.
“Hopefully, they’ll be able to share a cell,” I said.
“Yes, it would be awful to think of them as being apart.”
“The police were very gentle with them last night,” I said.
“We’ll know more in a few days. I hope they settle out of court. I don’t want to have to say anything against them, poor old dears.”
“I agree with you, but they are experts on flowers, and they must have had a sense of the danger they were putting him in.”
“They loved roses. I’m not sure they knew a whole lot about foxglove. But that’s for the court to find out.”
I had excused myself to go to the loo halfway through dinner and by this devious means had already paid for the meal.
“We just need the check,” he said.
“I’ve taken care of it,” I proudly announced.
“Why, you little cheeky thing, you. How did you manage?”
“I have my ways.”
“Feel like going to the pub?” he asked.
“Oh, I don’t know. A hot toddy in front of the fire sounds good.”
“How about a glass of wine?”
“Even better.”
We had only just settled, sitting very close together on the love seat in front of the fire, when a blare of the William Tell overture jolted out of my pocket. We jumped apart. It took me a second to recognize my cell phone ring.
“It’s my phone,” I said. “It never rings.”
“You’d better answer it.”
“Let me just see who it is,” I pulled out the cell phone. The number I saw was all too familiar. “It’s Dave.”
“Blast him,” Caldwell said.
“I’ll get rid of him.” I had to answer it. After all, he might be in trouble because of me.
“Yes?” I said.
Dave’s voice came booming over the line, loud music playing in the background. “Karen, Kirstin’s gone missing. That guy took her.”
“What guy?”
“The one you warned me about, the guy with blond hair. He’s taken Kirstin. I saw him talk to her and the next minute she was gone.”
“Where are you?”
“At a pub across the street from the hotel. I don’t know what to do.”
I looked at Caldwell and he was watching me carefully. “How long has she been gone?”
“It just happened. You have to help me. This is all your fault. What if he hurts her?”
“Why would he take her?”
Dave’s voice cracked. “How would I know? What did you tell him? How could you do this to me?”
He was right. It was all my fault. Somehow my conversation with Guy had activated something in him that was ending up with a missing woman. Not good. I had to fix it.
“Okay. I’ll be right there. Stay where you are.” I clicked the phone shut.
“Who is ‘her’?” Caldwell asked.
I turned and faced Caldwell. “I didn’t tell you everything.”
“Where do we need to go to?”
“I can catch a cab.”
“Not so easy at this time of night. I can drive you.”
“Are you sure?”
“How else am I going to get the full story out of you?”
Once we were in his car, I filled him in. “Dave came to England too.”
“So I gathered.”
“On the same plane. I saw him. With another woman. Young. Skinny. Her name is Kirstin. Quite a Minnesota name.”
“Yes,” Caldwell said patiently.
“I was rather angry.”
“Mmm.”
I couldn’t be sure in the dark, but it sounded like his lips had gone rather tight. I wanted to spit the whole story out in one large glob. It felt like it was poison and I had to get it out of my system.
“Well, as I said, they were on the same plane as me. No surprise. Then, almost by accident, I followed them to their hotel. Then, at the bar, I told the blond-haired guy, Guy—remember, the man I was talking to?—about what Dave had done to me. I might have mentioned something about wanting to kill him. Guy was very understanding. Said he knew how I felt. Then the next day I saw Guy talking to Kirstin at the National Gallery. When I tried to catch up to him to see why he was there, he seemed to be giving me a signal.”
“A signal?”
“Yeah, the gun-in-the-air signal.”
“The gun-in-the-air signal. I’m not familiar with that.”
“Yes, you are.” I showed him, holding my hand up in the car like it was a gun. “I took it to mean he was on the case. Then he pointed his hand at Kirstin and pretended to shoot her.”
“Yow. That doesn’t sound good.” Caldwell’s voice grew thin. “What did you tell him in the bar?”
“That’s the puzzling thing. I’ve tried to remember. I was a bit drunk, but I didn’t think I was that bad. I’m not really sure. I’ve tried to warn Dave that he might be in danger and all that, but I don’t think he believed me.”
“And now this guy has taken Dave’s new girlfriend?”
“It appears. Dave saw them together and she’s gone missing. He sounds frantic.” I squeezed my hands together. “It’s probably nothing, but I’d feel better if we checked it out. Dave’s not good in a jam.”
“I can’t wait to meet him.” The dryness in Caldwell’s voice would have evaporated a lake.
THIRTY-FOUR
Mosh Pit
I couldn’t help it—when I saw Dave I felt sorry for him. He was sitting on a stool scrunched up against the bar. A wall of backs had him fenced in and he was gulping down a pint, wiping at his eyes. I hated to think that he had been crying.
“Karen,” he yelled when he saw me and stood, tipping over the stool, sloshing his beer on the coat of a man standing next to him.
Typical Dave, oblivious to the world around him, swaying into the crowd as if entering a mosh pit. At that moment, I couldn’t help but see him through Caldwell’s eyes, and notice how bi
g and American he seemed. He stood over six feet tall, with a baseball cap over his balding head. He carried his belly proudly under a blue sweatshirt. He was scruffy, with stubble on his face and something red spilled on his chest. I hoped it was ketchup. Had he fought Guy, trying to prevent him from taking Kirstin?
“Do you think he really forced her to go with him? Did you think about calling the police?” I asked.
He shook his head. “I don’t know what to do. It was awful. It happened so fast. I just want to find Kirstin.” His voice wavered and again I wondered if he was near tears. Give him a plumbing job—no matter how difficult—and he jumped right in, but complications outside that world often frustrated him.
I grabbed for Caldwell’s arm and pulled him close to me as we moved closer to the bar and my ex-boyfriend. “Dave, this is Caldwell, the owner of the B and B where I am staying.” I thought, Where we were supposed to have been staying.
Dave nodded at Caldwell but didn’t offer him his hand. “Since he’s English, maybe he can talk some sense into this a-hole that grabbed Kirstin.”
“Where did you last see her? What happened? Are you sure this guy took her?” I asked.
“It happened so fast. He grabbed her and pulled her away.”
“Doesn’t make any sense,” Caldwell murmured.
Dave lifted a large hand to the top of his head and scratched at his hat as if digging for something important. “Nothing does anymore. I feel completely lost. What did you tell this guy about me? Why is he after us?”
“Let’s find Kirstin first. We can talk about that later.”
“I’ll show you where they went.” He walked to the door of the pub and we followed. Caldwell was staring at Dave as if he was some kind of animal he had never seen before.
I whispered to him. “I think he’s a little drunk.”
“I’d say so,” Caldwell said back.
“I’m sorry to drag you into this.”
“I feel slightly responsible too. After all, I took you to the pub where you met this Guy fellow.”
When we hit the street Dave kept walking. We kept following. As much as I wanted to grab Caldwell’s hand, I wasn’t sure it was the right time. I had a feeling he was not very happy with me. I guess it didn’t look good that I had made so much trouble for my last boyfriend. It would, as the British say, give a person pause for thought.
I caught up with Dave. “Why didn’t you stop him from taking her?” I asked.
He kept walking. “It wasn’t like that. I didn’t have time to think. It all happened in a second. One moment she was standing next to me and the next minute she was gone. All I saw was that he had his arm wrapped around her neck, dragging her off. I couldn’t believe it. I ran after them but lost them up by the river. Then I went back to the bar and called you.”
“It’s a pub,” I couldn’t help correcting him. “Did he seem dangerous? Did he have a gun or anything?”
“Didn’t see one.” Dave turned a corner and I saw that we were once again coming up to the Thames. Streetlights shone along the walkway following the river. A few blocks away I could see two people leaning up against a building.
“Is that them?” I asked.
Dave started to trot. I picked up my pace to keep up with him.
Caldwell came abreast of me. “Karen, this is insane. What do you think is going on?”
“I haven’t a clue.”
All of us slowed down as we got closer to the couple, trying to see what they were doing. Guy appeared to be grabbing Kirstin by the neck. However, she didn’t seem to be struggling.
Dave started to run toward them, yelling, “Let go of her.”
Both Caldwell and I stopped.
Yes, Guy had his hands around Kirstin’s neck, but he wasn’t strangling her—he was kissing her.
And she was kissing him back.
THIRTY-FIVE
Dominoes
Dave squared his shoulders, put his head down, and ran at them. He had been a football player in high school, even if it was thirty-five years ago. Ramming into someone came naturally, I guess.
I should have yelled their names, but I couldn’t bring myself to say Kirstin’s. Instead I yelled, “Watch out.”
Beside me Caldwell murmured, “What’s he up to?” while I thought it was fairly obvious.
Dave slammed into the man’s back, and the man went crashing down on top of Kirstin. They toppled like dominoes.
Caldwell and I ran forward to help them all to their feet, but before we could reach them, Kirstin had scrambled out from under, and Dave and Guy—for it was Guy, I could make out his face—were rolling over and over on the ground, trying to clobber each other. Caldwell stepped in closer, maybe thinking of getting between them, and got smacked in the cheek by a backswing from Dave. Kirstin and I both stepped back out of the way.
“Stop them,” Kirstin yelled. Then she looked at me and asked, “What are you doing here?”
I didn’t think I had to answer that question right yet. We watched as Dave straddled Guy, screaming in his face about wanting to kill him. But at least they weren’t hitting each other any longer. Caldwell grabbed Dave’s shoulder and tried to pull him off. Dave flailed back with his left arm and knocked Caldwell aside.
I turned to Kirstin and asked, “What is going on? What are you doing with Guy?”
“What did you tell him?”
“Long story.”
Guy wrapped his legs around Dave and flipped him over, then jumped on top of Dave and pinned his shoulders down.
“When I stepped out of our hotel one night to have a cigarette, Guy came walking by and then we started talking,” Kirstin said.
“He picked you up?”
“You could say that. He kept turning up wherever we were.”
“It’s all my fault. I guess I sicced him on you.”
“No way.”
Even though I hated it when kids said it, I had to respond, “Way.”
Caldwell was making another effort to break up the fight. He grabbed Guy’s arm and tried to pull him backward. Guy tipped back and wrapped his arms around Caldwell’s neck and tossed him on top of Dave.
Guy was throwing punches at the both of them, Dave was shouting and striking wildly back, and Caldwell was covering his head and kicking.
It was time to step in. I took the only weapon that was close at hand, a book that I had stuffed in my purse when one of the bags was too full, walked up behind Guy and slammed it down on top of his head.
Everything stopped.
Guy toppled backward and sprawled on the ground. Dave sat up with his mouth hanging open, breathing hard. I must have been on a roll, because I lifted the book and hit him on the head.
Caldwell sprang to his feet and rushed me, saying, “Well done, my wonderful librarian.”
I could tell Caldwell wanted to throw his arms around me, but he stopped a foot or so away. Maybe he was worried I would hit him with the book too. It was all quite confusing.
Kirstin knelt down by Guy and pulled his head into her lap. “Guy? Are you okay?” She glared at me.
I looked at the book in my hands, glad to see it didn’t appear to have sustained any damage.
Dave staggered to his feet, holding his head, and swayed over to Kirstin. “What the hell is going on here? Who is this guy and why was he kissing you?”
Guy groaned and sat up. Kirstin helped him, keeping a hand on each shoulder. After a moment, he shook himself and stood up. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a badge. “I’m Inspector Guy Wilkins of the Metropolitan. And you’re all under arrest!”
Dave sagged against the railing. “You’re a cop? What are you doing with my girlfriend?”
“Your ex-girlfriend! Your previous ex-girlfriend”—Guy looked at me—“told me how awfully you treat your women. I just happened to live right by your hotel, and when I saw Kirstin there one day, I realized who this lovely tall blonde was and started chatting her up. I could tell that she wasn’t having the best time. One
thing led to another and she has decided that I might be able to show her London in a better light.” Guy smiled and wrapped an arm possessively around Kirstin’s shoulder. “To put it bluntly, mate, you’re just too bloody old for her.”
Kirstin leaned her head on Guy’s shoulder. I had to admit they made a handsome couple. She looked at Dave and said, “I’ll come and get my stuff tomorrow. I’m going home with him.”
They started walking away.
“I thought we were under arrest!” Dave shouted after them.
Guy and Kirstin stopped and looked back at us.
“Now you’ve done it,” Caldwell muttered.
Guy shook his head. “Bloody Americans—not worth the paperwork!”
They turned as a unit and walked off down the street.
Dave hung over the railing, staring down into the Thames, and I was afraid he was thinking either of jumping in or throwing up. Caldwell must have had the same thought for he moved a little closer to him.
“Dave,” I said. “I’m sorry.”
He hung his head and shook it like a dog. “Doesn’t matter. Kirstin was boring once the cuteness wore off. I’m glad she’s gone. Being with her made me realize how much I missed you. Karen, I’m sorry. I don’t know what got into me. I really messed things up.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Dave was actually apologizing to me. This was a first.
“Well, I certainly didn’t mean for all this to happen,” I said.
“But did you have to tell a cop?”
“Well, I didn’t know that’s what he was. In fact, I thought he was quite the opposite—a dangerous criminal type. Plus, I was pretty drunk when I met him. I’m sure he guessed that.”
“You were drunk?” Dave asked.
“The beer is stronger over here.”
“You got that right.” Dave smiled at me. “I would have liked to see that. Karen the librarian, drunk.”
He took a step toward me. “Let’s forget this ever happened.” He dusted off his sweatshirt. “This whole stinky mess. We’ve got a couple days left on our vacation. Get your bags and join me. Like this never happened. I’ll make it up to you. All of it. I’ll do whatever you want to do. We can go to every bookstore in London.”
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