by K. F. Breene
I was first outside, Lump right next to me, the rest behind. The bouncer let us out the door and told us it was a pleasure. We waved as we walked, not caring. A second later Lump was grabbed from the right. All I saw were two hands reaching for her before she whirled around with her arms doing very confusing things, then stepping back to me after the other person’s presence was gone and their weight thrown off in the opposite direction.
A second later a stunned, yet frustrated, Adam stepped back toward us. He probably made a mental note to stop touching Lump all together.
Candace rushed to him, Jane and Claire after, and Flem was looking all around her like she suddenly landed on the moon.
“You know,” she was slurring, “the Texas I remember was much safer, with more reputable guys. But then, I wasn’t this hot.” She chuckled to herself. “Good thing L.A. has a bunch of pansies.”
“Flem, are you ready or what?” Jane shouted.
“Sorry. I was reflecting.”
“Well reflect your drunk arse ‘tis way. I want out of this fecking place!” Claire shouted.
“Adam, where’s William?” I asked too loudly.
“He is talkin’ to the manager. There is the bill to settle, plus he is putting in a complaint. Doubt we’ll come here again.”
“Jessica.” It was Moose standing with his girlfriend. Ty stepped around him, moving toward a still crying Candace. “We’re going to head out. See you tomorrow for the party?”
“Sunday. It’s on Sunday.”
“Shit, right. Tomorrow; somewhere calm then? For drinks?”
“Good times. See you.”
Ty gave me a hug, then he folded Candace in his arms. I had a quick thought that life would be so simple if all that happened was a forced peep show. I immediately felt bad. I still thought I should say something, though, to calm her down.
“Candace,” I said, “I know you think you were defiled, and it totally sucks, but some men are assholes, and this stuff happens. I once had my entire dress pulled down around my ankles by some prick. The bouncers put him in a head-lock and he peed himself. He got what he deserved, but I was still humiliated.
“All anyone remembered the next weekend was the dude that peed himself. Next weekend here, all people will remember will be the three idiots that got beat the fuck up and kicked out. You won’t be in that recipe.”
I thought I sounded pretty good. Dr. George was something.
Ty squeezed her. She nodded to me, sniffing. “I was just so scared,” she said, and started crying again. “But I should listen to you. You’ve been in worse.”
Yeeeeaaaaaahhhhh. I didn’t really want to talk about me. I wanted to talk about her. It was time to go.
I hugged her and Ty together and watched them head away. It was when I turned back to ask where we were supposed to go that I realized no one was in sight. Well, no one I knew. All my friends were gone. Vanished. Without me.
“Where the hell did everyone go?” I asked to air.
“Right here sweet thang.”
It was some wanker walking with some other wanker. Two ugly ones at that.
“Eh. Just FUCK OFF, please. Can men just leave me alone FOR ONE SECOND? One Goddamn second? Christ!”
“What’s up with you? PMS?”
“Is your name PMS? ‘Cause if so, yes, that is the problem!”
Yes, I was having a tantrum. But where the hell was everyone? I know where the wanker went—away. He was smart. I was not in a great mood at being all alone in a parking lot.
I wandered around that spot for about ten minutes. Well, I was drunk. It very well might have been an hour. It also might have been a moment. My eyes were too blurry to read the clock on my phone, so it was left up to my best guess.
Ten minutes it was.
I finally decided that homeward bound would have to happen sooner or later, and dug in my handbag for my wallet. Only to realize I had someone’s else’s handbag, and there was no cash or credit cards. It was a club wallet, and all monetary possessions were probably on her person. That didn’t help me, who kept all my monetary possessions in my boyfriend’s pockets, since he had some, or in my freaking handbag that was not here!
Okay, fine. I could get a ride to Gladis, and beg for some money from her. Someone was always up at ungodly hours at her house. They were old; they had to pee a lot.
Just as I was waving my hand at a passing cab, and avoiding the cat calls of another groups of drunk, aimless men, a black limousine came screaming into the parking lot. The door opened and William hurriedly got out, followed by a few heads of my friends.
Oh. William got us a limo. That’s cool.
Here’s what wasn’t cool—they forgot me. Nice to know I was so forgettable by the man that insisted I trust him.
“Jessica, I am so sorry. Everyone thought you were in.”
“Right.”
“I’m so sorry. Please Jess, I am so sorry!”
He came up to hug me. I gave him a straight arm and walked to the limo without a glance.
I got in the limo and waved away the apologies. The moody treatment, which was my intended retribution, needed not hear apologies. It fed on indifference. I had a feeling this was going to sting even more tomorrow. It was slightly funny now, but probably wouldn't be slightly funny when I really thought about it. The moody treatment would do just fine.
I didn't hear much of the conversation on the way back. We stopped at Gladis’s house first, and then Adam would take the limo to his house. I had decided that tonight I would stay the night on my own. It wasn't punishment for being forgotten, so much, as just a need to wake up with a hangover and misgivings on my own. I just needed a night away for once. Plus, I had all the girls, and it was better to leave it as all the girls.
The girls got out and stumbled for the door, arguing and causing a ruckus, though trying to be quiet. I waited for them to get half way before I turned to William, who was waiting to go with me to my place.
"William, maybe not tonight." I was slurring, but I was understandable.
"Not stay with you tonight, you mean?”
"Yeah, maybe just not tonight." I was being slightly moody, so he got the hint, but we hadn't been apart since, well, we got together, so I didn't want to lay it on too thick. I did still love the guy.
He started to say something, but stopped himself. He nodded once and tried to hide the look of hurt that crossed his face. My heart twisted.
"You'll keep Fred with you?" he asked softly.
It was my turn to nod.
He moved my hair over my shoulder and traced his fingers along my jaw line. I could tell he was debating kissing me—wondering if I was mad enough to refuse. In that second I decided I kind of was. I mean, dude left his girlfriend behind after a huge fight, in a dark parking lot, at the club. Kind of a big deal.
Making the decision for him, I yelled good-night to Adam. I said good-night to William, ignored the unjustified hurt on his face, turned on my heel, and headed to the house. I conjured up a good, fast stride with head held high, trying to wipe away all the drunk so William knew it was a conscious decision to walk away, but that dang Fred ruined everything. He was trained to stay out of sight until the property was breached, and had probably been frolicking with the girls, so I’d forgotten all about him. Then the big bugger was running at me in a full sprint. He gave me a playful, though fast, nudge, expecting me to squeal and pet him. The dog might have a good idea of my mood, but he didn’t have a clue when I was trying to look moody and unaffected!
Without my normal ability to sidestep his excited greeting prance, nor the continuous ability to even walk in a straight line, I got tangled up in his body and went down with a tumble. He, being a young dog, thought that meant it was playtime, and pounced on my back, growling and nipping and having a great time. I was not looking awesome.
By the time I righted myself I had hair everywhere and my dress was clinging to damp legs. I risked a glance at William, hoping he was in the limo and gone by the ti
me I did my unsexy dive, but instead, he was standing by the open limo door, watching my fray with a small, sad smile on his face.
The guy was sentimental or something, because spending the night with me in the shape I was in wasn’t the stuff of legends. But whatever, I’d take it.
I held my head up high and put on the jets back to my cottage, fighting with Fred every ten feet to stop freaking bumping my legs. By the time I made the gate, finally, the limo and William were gone.
I took a long, ragged breath. I was hurt and pissed that he forgot me, but I also hated that he wasn’t with me. It was a no-win situation.
When I got to my cottage I opened the door and let Fred check it out. I leaned on the door jam, feeling sorry for myself, waiting for the doggy all-clear.
“JESSICA?”
It was impossible to tell who was yelling at me. A girl. A friend. A drunk. All I could tell.
I hollered back something that sounded like, “EEEEaaaaaRRRR.”
It’s tough when not even the person speaking knows what the hell she is saying.
"'S William with you?" That was Lump.
"No. Why?"
"We're coming swim. To swim. Naked!" I could hear giggling.
All four girls came running, falling, stumbling and laughing through the grass to get to the pool. I switched the light on and uncovered the hot tub. I could see another shape coming as well.
"Gladis?" I called.
"Yes, dear. I'm here to make sure no one drowns.”
Fred bounded to the girls and took off running. He loved to prowl at night. He also loved a party. The dog was meant for me.
By the time the first girl entered the light, Jane, she was half naked, followed by three more half naked gals. Half became full two seconds before Claire fell in.
“Can Irish swim?” Gladis asked with a wry smile.
“That old biddie can give some abuse!” Claire yelled.
Jane did a lopsided cannonball, covering Claire in a spray of pool water.
Gladis went into my cottage, giving me a slight push toward the pool as she passed, and turned on a small outside reading light I didn’t know existed. She settled in to read her book while everyone else jumped in, including me.
I woke up on my bed naked with dried drool down the side of my face. My head was pounding and I had a half-eaten burrito on my night stand. My skin was dry from the chlorine in the pool, but hard from last night’s crusty make-up. I was positive I did not look my best.
I got up with one hand firmly on my head, trying to keep the pounding from cracking my skull. I stood still, wondering if I would need to sprint to the toilet.
Steady on.
No. I would not be throwing up. Thank you to William for stocking the bar with quality alcohol.
My heart wrenched. William.
I was heartbroken that he forgot me last night. That other things were more important than making sure I was okay. Or at least in the car. I was also mad at my drunk friends for leaving me. Although, admittedly, each of them had done it before, and I had done it to them—when you get too drunk, sometimes you just gotta get out of there, phone tree be damned.
But I had never forgotten a date. Let alone a boyfriend. Especially if I would be staying at the dude’s house. Seriously, it was a sign of how low I was on his list that he left without me.
Worrying about it wouldn’t help matters. Plus, I had a bunch of friends in misery that needed a hostess. Or at least someone to share their pain.
I looked at the clock. Noon. I wondered how much sleep I got. We got home about two, maybe a little before. Swam around for some time. Apparently raided my fridge for a midnight snack. Passed out.
How long could all that have taken?
I put on some loose fitting clothes and stepped outside. Someone was picking up about a case of beer bottles. Looked like a mad gardener.
He looked up and hit me with a brown eyed scowl.
Yeah, the gardener.
I hurried away thinking; a case would’ve taken a while to get through, since we were already loaded. And swimming.
I really hoped Gladis wouldn’t be kicking me out. The fact that we were naked, screaming, and randomly throwing beer bottles around the yard meant weren’t being all that respectful. We probably woke the whole neighborhood, forget about the house.
I groggily made my way to said house.
Wait. Where was Fred?
“Fred?” I called. “Freeeeddddddd.”
I heard a bark from inside the cottage. I opened the door and found the Doberman wearing my underwear and a choker. Apparently we thought it would be funny to dress the dog last night. He was good-humored enough to let us. Poor bugger.
I got him out of his drag costume and let him by. He immediately went to pee in the nearest bush.
I hopped we didn’t try to make him drink beer.
I walked around to the front door of the Big House. The air was doing me good, and Fred needed to stretch his legs. Upon walking into the lounge I saw the place littered with Fire and Ice roses. My favorite kind. There must have been twelve dozen spread around in beautiful vases.
Gladis looked up from her knitting needles as I came in. “What did he do?”
“These are from William?”
“Of course. You didn’t think these would be from an admirer did you? You gals aren’t that good!” Gladis’s eyes twinkled.
Lady walked up stiff backed and handed me a Bloody Mary.
“Lady, you are a gem.”
“You shouldn’t have kept Gladis out so late,” she muttered.
“Oh Lady, hush!” Gladis waved her hand in the air.
“Gladis, you didn’t stay the whole time, did you?” I asked, astonished.
“You girls are a hoot! I even had a couple beers. Good thing I was there, too, or this place would have been littered with naked girls. Though the cooks won’t forgive me anytime soon.”
“Oh Gladis, I am so sorry! You should have told us to go to bed. I am sorry we kept you up!”
“Nonsense! It was fun. It was like I was young again! Without the effects of the next morning, of course.”
I moaned.
Lump stumbled in with an oversized shirt on and make-up all over her face.
“Lump, you look rough,” I remarked.
She looked at me out of one eye. “I feel rougher. You look hideous.”
Lump accepted a Bloody Mary with a groan.
Flem and Claire stumbled out next, followed slowly by Jane. I now knew what I must look like. The fifth musketeer to this lot.
“I need the cure,” Claire croaked.
“Bloody Mary or beer?” I asked.
“Bloody Mary. I’ve got used to them at this stage.”
Lady was right on cue.
Flem took hers and said, “Gladis, give that woman a raise. She is a Godsend!”
Gladis laughed. “There is breakfast out. Help yourselves. Plenty of grease to coat your stomachs.”
We all started to move.
“Jessica, can I talk to you a second?” Gladis asked pleasantly.
Crap. Here we go. Time to get kicked out.
“I notice there is no sign of William. I also notice all these beautiful roses. What did that boy do to you?”
I sighed, “It wasn’t as bad as this makes it seem. He left me at the club. Drove off in the limo without me then had to come back for me.”
She tsked. “Not that bad? Denise would wring that boy’s neck! You were right to put your foot down. Make sure he knows that when he messes up you won’t just take it in stride. Teach him a lesson now, or he’ll never learn!”
I wasn’t in the mood for relationship retribution, but Gladis had a point. A lot of bad things could have happened last night with me standing in a parking lot in next to nothing. Especially since the guys that caused the fight could have easily been roaming around. I didn’t have to have the past experience with Dusty to teach me that lesson.
“Now,” Gladis continued, “he’s made the
first move with the flowers. A very good move. He must have been very sorry. That’s good. He really is a good boy. He just forgets himself some of the time. But he should never forget you!”
“This isn’t a good enough apology?” I gestured at all the flowers.
“Oh no! Honey, you are in the money ring now. A poor boy getting you all these flowers—absolutely forgive him. This might be a month’s wages. A boy with means? Oh no, no. This is just a half a thought to him. Nothing.”
I nodded and took a swig of my drink, grimacing when I tasted the vodka. Gladis was plotting this out like a war, and I was happy to let her do all the work.
She looked me over. “Look at you.” She said with a smile. “A love sick little lamb. This is for the best, though. Trust me. Handle it correctly now, and you won’t have to handle it near as often in the future when it is much more important!”
We discussed the situation for a while, and decided that I would keep my date with him and Adam and whoever else that evening, but wouldn’t call him or return his calls all day. I would show up and give him the cold shoulder. I would gradually break down little by little until I let him apologize. I would then be reluctant, but forgiving. Then make up sex.
I added the last bit, but you know Gladis was thinking it!
As the evening came, everyone was in my cottage getting ready. Tonight, however, there was much less zeal. Everyone couldn’t believe all the flowers I got, but agreed that Gladis was probably right. Anyone married that long was probably always right.
Ami had called and said she was really, really sorry, but she couldn’t get in until Sunday morning. She was able to stay through Monday night, though, so that was some consolation.
It was a jeans night tonight. I wore my new ones, which seriously looked good. We all switched around tops like we did the night before because some that were old to us were new to others, and visa versa. We had flats or runners or boots on tonight so walking would be easier. Not so high fashion, either, but in this state of hangover, who gave a shit? We wouldn’t be able to pull it off if we tried.
William had called a couple times in the morning but must have realized I wasn’t going to talk to him and stopped. He text that he was sorry, and that he hoped I would be going tonight. I also saw that with each dozen roses there was a different love poem. Very sweet, and Gladis said he must have looked each one up, so he definitely got points for that. I was able to break down a little faster than Gladis originally said.