I shook my head, swallowing the lump that had developed in my throat. The police had never found Maman’s killer, but I had known better to rely on their judgement. It was no coincidence that my mother had turned up dead after Maman had tried to move on with her life.
He clenched his jaw, his anger running parallel to my heartbreak.
“Do you have any other family around?” he asked gently.
“No.” My nails dug into my elbow again, scraping harder than before, willing the pain to distract my mind from its dishonesty.
“I understand what it’s like. Both my parents passed away too,” he offered, sympathy etched onto his face.
My mouth gaped open slightly in surprise. He didn’t seem as emotionally screwed up as I was, so I would never have been able to tell that he was practically an orphan like me. “I’m so sorry, Jai.”
“It was a long time ago. My mom was murdered by one of my dad’s business rivals.” His words came out emotionless, as if he were just reading the showtimes of a movie out loud, yet his body language read feelings that were completely different. I watched the subtle change in him that caused him to drop his chin and direct his gaze to the basket of bread in front of us. The diversion seemed to be a tool he had acquired over the years to keep himself from broadcasting his true sorrow to the world.
“My dad couldn’t bear the heartbreak of losing the love of his life, so he killed himself. The guilt he had over the consequences of his work ate him alive.” I missed the jovial smile that usually rested on his lips. This somber side of him punctured my soul.
I wanted so badly to reach my hand out to hold his. Console him. But my brain stopped me from being that forward.
“I had no idea the tech industry was so violent.” I knew his brother owned Sethi Tech, so I assumed it was their family business, especially since Jai used to work there too.
He shook his head. “No, Sethi Tech was our thing. It didn’t belong to Dad.”
“Then what did he do?”
His eyes stared straight into mine without flinching as he spoke. “Exporting.” His expression was almost too intense. Maybe that was the same look I gave him when I answered his questions? I wanted to ask him what he did for a living next, but decided against it, since he was full of lies just like I was. I couldn’t risk him digging any deeper into my life than he already had.
Oblivious to the growing friction surrounding the table, the waiter returned, fussing over the dishes he placed in front of us and asking us how we were doing in his thick Italian accent. Jai answered him curtly and waved him away, leaving us to eat our meal mostly in silence. I replayed all the untruths I had just spoken while trying to guess the ones that he had shared.
The only time we spoke after that was when I argued with him to pay my half of the bill but lost that fight when he said he had already given his billing information before we even sat down. I didn’t know how I had missed that, but it seemed fitting that he would be smooth enough to have done so without me noticing.
He ushered me outside into the dark night. It was too late to take the subway, so I’d have to get a cab. Luckily, I still had a few dollars, since he’d paid for my share of dinner.
I lifted my hand to hail a ride, but his warm fingers pulled it down and tugged me to a black car waiting at the curb. A man dressed in a suit and wearing an earpiece held the opened door.
“I need to get home. I have an early class tomorrow,” I protested.
Letting go of my hand too soon for my liking, he turned to me. “That’s where I’m taking you.”
“I’d rather just take a cab.” I lived rather out of the way from here and my neighborhood wasn’t exactly as ritzy as the ones he was used to driving through. I wasn’t ashamed of my humble apartment, but that didn’t mean I wanted to invite scrutiny over for tea.
“Stop being stubborn and get in,” he said, nodding to the car.
Rolling my eyes, I weighed my options. I could stay here and argue with him while I tried to grab a cab, or I could just take him up on his offer and get to bed early before a day full of classes. Judging from the look on his face, Jai was up for arguing as long as it took to get his way.
Sighing with resignation, I gave the driver my address and stepped into the car.
“Was that so fucking hard?” he asked, sliding in after me. “You really like to make things difficult, don’t you?”
The partition between the front and back seats was drawn up, so the driver couldn’t bear witness to the scolding I was receiving.
“Would you have even wanted to take me to dinner in the first place if I didn’t make things difficult?” Most of him might have been a mystery to me, but from my experience, men like him lived for the hunt. They thrived on chasing prey that seemed unattainable. I knew these types of men very well. My father had been one of them.
Dumbstruck, he gaped at me, surprised that I saw through him so clearly.
“Nothing to say?” I continued poking.
He reached over, cradling my chin in his fingers. I held my breath, watching and waiting.
“This mouth is going to get you in trouble one day,” he said, rubbing the pad of his thumb over my lower lip.
It parted from its sister above, as if inviting him in of its own volition. “Too late,” I breathed out.
Eyes dark like coal smoldered as embers of fire suddenly sparked to life. I stared back, my eyes burning from the severity. Though I wanted so desperately to look away to seek relief, I didn’t. I endured the pain. I deserved it. I could handle it.
Satisfaction surged through me as he released my chin. I hadn’t shrunk away from his dominance. Instead, I had challenged him, daring him to give me more.
Before I could fix my mouth into a smirk or hit him back with a witty retort, my back slammed into the cool leather seat and my head jammed against the door. Solid muscle pinned me down, keeping me from rolling away. Jai’s mouth crashed into mine, unleashing a storm of pent-up tension and aggression that he had hid carefully away—until now.
His kiss was harsh and bruising. His touch was calloused and torturous. The player who was used to controlling the game was now unhinged.
Notes of wine and smoke swirled in my mouth as his tongue dipped in to meet mine. His grip on my ribs was so tight that I felt it deep in the marrow of my bones. The rush of danger and pleasure clouded my awareness of my surroundings. I had no doubt that by now, the driver knew what was happening behind him, but I had a hunch that he would never make his presence known or else he’d have hell to pay from the beast on top of me.
My fingers clutched his hair to get him to ease up on his abuse—or was it to prevent him from pulling away? I couldn’t decipher my true reason, nor did I care.
He pulled back ever so slightly, running his tongue along my top lip. Reflexively, I slipped my tongue past his lips and dragged the tip of my tongue along the underside of his needing more of his intoxicating taste. The growl that sounded from his throat coupled with the pumping of his dick along the side of my thigh hinted his appreciation.
“What are you doing to me, baby girl?” he groaned painfully, like a starving man restrained from a five-course meal.
What was he doing to me? I was the one who lost control whenever he was near.
Teeth found my neck, biting and sucking so hard, like he wanted me to cry out just to know I was real. Hands moved to the neckline of my leotard, desperately trying to push it lower to free my breasts. His attempt was futile. My dancewear clung to me tight like a bandage, hiding not just flesh from him, but wounds deep inside—wounds that could never be revealed to another.
“Fuck!” he shouted in frustration, loud enough for the driver to overhear.
His pelvis slammed into me, jerking me back with force. The hardness between his legs rubbed against my crotch with the right amount of pressure I needed to stoke the fire I felt down t
here. The rhythm of his hips humping my fully clothed pussy made my eyes roll back into my head. Bridging my hips up with one foot on the seat and the other on the floor, I moved with him. I gripped his biceps for support, digging my nails into the fabric of his clothes. Our breaths grew ragged and frantic as we chased these new feelings—together.
Arousal coated the inside of my panties, sticking to my swollen lips, which were nearly ready to burst in excitement. Tipping my head back to face the roof of the car and the heavens beyond it, I closed my eyes, praying for release because I was unable to take any more of the ache between my legs. Sharp pain shot through my scalp as he yanked my hair by the roots and lifted my head to face him. “Eyes open,” he barked. “No more hiding from me.”
My eyes held his as he fucked me relentlessly though our layers of clothing. Only he could make fucking fully clothed something that I would have wet dreams about for years to come. I grabbed the neck of his t-shirt and circled my wrist, wringing the fabric tightly to pull him even closer to me. The neckline ripped as he slammed forcefully into me one last time, sending me moaning through the pulses of liberation that reverberated throughout my whole body.
I fought hard to catch my breath as he loosened his grip on my hair, then gently smoothed the back of his knuckles over my cheek and down my neck to ground me.
The kiss he pressed to my lips was completely opposite of the ones he had unleashed on me only moments before. It was gentle and calming, breathing new life into me.
The car came to a slow roll before eventually stopping. We must have reached my building. It felt like time had stood still from the time we entered the car.
I quickly righted myself and set to fixing my clothes. Jai readjusted his pants to hide the hard-on that didn’t have time to receive proper attention. I watched as his fingers passed over the dark stain on his jeans. The crotch of my moisture-wicking leotard had shifted while we were humping each other, no longer shielding my wetness from escaping through my tights. He lifted his digits to examine the light sheen that coated them. His mouth fixed into a devious smile as he glanced at me in approval, before shoving his hand down his pants and rubbing himself inside.
“I need you on me when I rub myself off to thoughts of you later. I want smell you with each pump,” he hummed.
No words filled my mouth. Only saliva, as my mouth watered to taste the lingering rigidness in his pants.
“Come on, baby girl. I’ll walk you to your door.” He took my hand and guided me out of the car on my wobbly legs.
Jai paused mid-stride when he got a good look at the nearly dilapidated building in front of him. Shaking his head, he slowed his pace to the front door.
“What?” I let go of his hand as I fished out my key to let myself in.
“Nothing.” I could see through another one of his lies. He wanted to say so much but clenched his jaw to keep from unloading on me.
“If you have something to say, just say it.”
“Where the fuck are we?” he asked, his tone full of tension so taut that I knew he would easily snap if I pushed him harder.
I glared at him. “Do you have a problem with where I live?”
“This place isn’t safe at all,” he said, looking up and around at the dimly lit buildings, worn down by alternating seasons of New York weather, ripping away at the surface but failing to make a dent in the foundation. These structures weren’t too different from me. The elements of life could try to rip away my surface, but I would never let them touch my soul.
“It’s safe enough for me.” Despite my age, I was no timid girl. My past had aged me faster than I would have liked. Losing my mother in the most heinous of ways was enough to shake the little girl out of me and force her to toughen up. Sure, the streets here were rough. Naivety would get you mugged or even killed here, but I didn’t have to worry about any of that since I hadn’t been born into innocence.
“Your stubbornness has gotten to your head. What if some asshole decided he wanted more than just the money in your bag? You’re a drop-dead gorgeous woman, and the eyes on this street are watching and waiting for you to be distracted enough to be taken advantage of.”
Who was he to judge where I lived? It was easy for some suit like him to come here and spew his opinions all over the place. A bed and shelter were all I needed and could afford, and no credit or background check was required to rent this place. Besides, my safety was not in question here. I would be in more trouble in a ritzy neighborhood since I would be more likely to be recognized there. My features were distinct, bright blonde hair and shockingly blue eyes. To the random pedestrian, I didn’t look American. I stuck out more noticeably than the many immigrants that lived here. My heart always raced uncontrollably when I went into the city, scared that someone would place my face.
But still, my stomach did somersaults when I registered his compliment. Drop-dead gorgeous. I had lost myself in all my years of hiding and hadn’t really felt the weight of it. I had hooked up with guys to satisfy my needs but always made sure to limit those experiences to one night. Getting close to someone wasn’t an option. In fact, it was the definition of unsafe for me. Until now, with Jai. I was like a moth attracted to the flames of his danger. This was going to end badly. I could feel it in my gut.
I gritted my teeth. “I’m not some stupid girl like you’re used to boning. I can take care of myself. I’ve been doing it for years.” I stepped closer, getting into his face. “You think that just because I let you get me off a couple of times, you now own me?” I spat with my hands on my hips.
Swift like a viper, he wrapped his fingers around my neck, applying enough pressure to silence me but not hurt me. The weight of his hard body pressed me into the rough brick of the building. His cock pulsed against my lower belly, reminding me of the passion we had just shared in the privacy of the car. Now, we were out on the street, visible to the world. What must my neighbors have been thinking? I couldn’t tear my eyes away from his to find out.
A feral growl emanated from the beast that had me by the neck. “I have news for you, baby girl. I already own you.” He dipped his head to compensate for my shorter height, his lips skimming my jaw. My eyelids fell, savoring his touch as I parted my lips, letting my breath escape.
“See how your body responds to me? It already knows it’s mine. Soon, your mind will know it too.” After pressing a gentle kiss to my temple, he released me, leaving me panting against the wall.
I clutched my keys in my hand and slid one into the lock to the building, turning my body away from him. Warm breath fell on the back of my neck as I turned the key.
“Have fun dreaming of me doing naughty things to you tonight,” he whispered from behind. His fingers swept up a lock of hair that had come loose from my bun and tucked it behind my ear. “You won’t be able to escape me, not even in your dreams.”
Suddenly, his warmth disappeared from behind me. I knew he had pulled away, trying to trick me into looking for him once more. To be the last one to cave in and prove my need for him. I didn’t give in and pushed the door open to the stairwell of the building without even looking back.
Chapter XII
Jai
“Wow! Are these for me?”
Amelia buried her nose into the bouquet of mixed flowers with stems wrapped in brown burlap fabric.
“Pretty flowers for a pretty girl.” I winked at her before dropping into the seat in front of her desk.
Resting the bouquet next to her computer, she leaned back in her chair. “I take it things went well with Claire?”
I got her message about the rough day she was having, but I hadn’t yet updated her on how things went or about our date. I didn’t think it was sensible to kiss and tell, but I knew Amelia would beat the details out of me.
“Sure.” It had gone better than well. That was the hottest time I had ever spent in a car not actually fucking. Shit, and we
were both fully dressed. My dick was wetter than the other night at the hotel when Cassandra had tried to get me off. By the time I reached my penthouse last night, my hard-on was raging, and I nearly went blind when I finally came into my hands. Just knowing her juice was slathered on my length had killed me. I could even taste her from the night I had slid my fingers into her at Nirvana as I pumped my shaft so tightly that I thought I would cut off blood circulation.
And still, I needed more. I wanted her dripping all over me—a sticky, sweaty mess as we rolled around between the sheets all night. I wanted her essence to soak into my pores, marking me as hers.
I shifted to prop my ankle on my knee to ease the growing discomfort between my legs.
Amelia’s eyes bored into my face like she was trying to read my thoughts. “You got lucky!” she exclaimed.
“No, ma’am,” I answered. Though, it was kind of true. It had been satisfying bringing Claire to orgasm yet again. Knowing I had the magic touch to set her off only inflated my ego. Though I hadn’t yet found my release in her company, I didn’t want to push her. I knew she had issues opening up to people, and I worried I’d scare her away if I sexed her the way I really wanted to—hard and without remorse.
I had texted her this morning when she was on her way to class. No signs of regret clouded her replies. In fact, she had sounded more receptive to my attention than before. I had promised to call her when she reached home this evening, to make sure she was safe inside with her front door locked. Lord knew that neighborhood was anything but secure. It didn’t sit well with me that she lived there, but I wouldn’t press her on that matter either in case she pushed me away again, undoing all the progress I had made.
“What are you doing here, anyway?” Amelia asked. It was nearly five o’clock and most people had left the office for the day.
“I just came back from Nirvana. Shyam and I needed to meet with some new associates.” Shyam still ran the club with me as co-partner, so I needed his involvement with most issues. Though my brother was no longer an active employee at Sethi Tech, he was still a board member, so all major decisions here needed to clear him first too. Amelia almost always got her way, though, since he was putty in her hands. Hence, this was her domain.
Control: Power Series #3 Page 9