I managed to spring my hand free. I pulled it back quickly and swung at his cheek, my palm stinging on contact as the slap flung his face to the side.
Stepping back, out of arms’ length, I watched as shock registered on his face. His fingers went to the spot that had made contact with my hand, rubbing it to make sure it had really happened.
He deserved two more slaps…and harder ones, at that.
Eyes filled with rage glared back at me. “Get the fuck out!”
All I could do was laugh nervously. “Gladly.” I grabbed my bag from the floor and hurried out of the office, nearly sprinting to the front door.
His footsteps sounded behind me. “Claire. Wait.”
I turned on my heels and stared at him. All malice had been replaced with something more solemn. Whatever torment that had been churning inside was on full display.
“Please don’t go, baby girl. I’m sorry,” he said, his voice quiet and desperate to stop me.
“What the fuck was that, Jai? Who was that person?”
He bowed his head and rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. “I…I don’t know. You didn’t deserve that.”
I stalked forward until we were nearly toe to toe. “Don’t you ever treat me like that again. Do you hear me? I’m not a dog for you to command,” I shouted, pointing a finger in his face.
He wrapped his hand around my finger and pulled it to his lips, pressing a gentle kiss on the tip of it. “I hear you. I just had a bad day at work, and I couldn’t deal with how badly I fucked it up.” The sincerity in his eyes showing me a glimpse of the old Jai—the one I had known before tonight.
He truly was sorry, but right now I needed space. His behavior was too reminiscent of what I had grown up with and for my own sanity, I needed to distance myself from it.
Removing my finger from his grasp, I cupped his cheek with my palm, feeling his whiskers tickle my skin. He closed his eyes and leaned into my touch, finding the comfort he greatly needed.
“Will you stay tonight? I want to make this right.” Dark brown eyes looked at me full of remorse and guilt.
I shook my head. “This reminded me too much of life with my father.”
His jaw clenched. “He forced himself on you?” The shame he bore coated his voice.
“No. Nothing like that. His tone was always abusive and forceful with my mother.” I hated how he would embarrass her in public…talk to her like she was his servant.
“I’m sorry, Claire.” He dropped his head in disgrace. “I’m not that man. I lost control back there.”
“I believe you. But I need space right now…for me.” I couldn’t think with him so close to me.
He nodded slowly. All I saw was a broken man before me.
I turned around to let myself out the door, but his voice stopped me one last time as my hand closed around the handle.
“Claire, I love you.”
This time, I bowed my head in guilt. “I know.” Guilt because I couldn’t say it back. Not after this.
I pulled the door open and left without looking back.
Chapter XIX
Jai
I fucked everything up. I fucked up my chance at taking down Leonid. And more importantly, I fucked up my relationship with Claire. When my attack on Leonid failed and I realized I had, in fact, fallen into his trap and ordered the shot that killed his decoy instead of him, I lost my shit. I no longer controlled the narrative between myself and Leonid. All the balls were in his court—my fucking balls, to be exact.
The rage at being duped by a piece of scum like him had gotten the best of me and I took it out on Claire. My need for control had seeped into my relationship with her. I needed to feel like I was commanding something or someone who would listen. Instead, I treated her like shit, reminding her of her abusive father.
I fucking loved that woman, and I had crushed any trust that she had in me as a stable force in her life. I’d deserved her slap. I would let her get in a few punches and kicks too if she wanted—whatever it would take to get her to trust me again.
She had put a desert of distance between us. I was dehydrated for her and saw the mirage of her at every turn in my penthouse.
My fingers typed out numerous apologetic texts to her, but they all went unanswered. I even sent her a long text hoping to convince her to have dinner with me so I could just talk to her in person, but again, no answer.
She had finally admitted that she was falling for me, and I’d probably pushed her away for good. I fucking hated myself.
Desperate to get Claire back, I found myself visiting the other woman I had wronged to help me make it all right again.
Shockingly, my keycard still worked at Sethi Tech, granting me entrance all the way up to Amelia’s office. I thought for sure my brother would have had it deactivated by now, since he didn’t want me anywhere near his wife. Though, if my card were deactivated, I’d certainly have been able to hack the system I had originally created for our company to reactivate it, but I was pretty certain that hacking and entering would secure me another four years on my brother’s shit list.
When I approached her office, I was stopped by a burly man standing watch next to the door. Shyam had most likely hired this guy to protect Amelia…from me.
Not in the mood to deal with the oaf eyeing me down as if daring me to try something, I put my hand on the doorknob to let myself inside, refusing to feed his power trip by asking permission for entry.
Shifting to block the door, said oaf glared at me. “What business do you have here?”
“This is my business,” I snapped. “My last name is on the fucking building. Or didn’t your boss tell you that?” I didn’t have time to deal with this shit.
The guard eyed me with suspicion, as if I were trying to pull one over on him.
“Move now…before I break your stumpy legs, asshole,” I bellowed.
“What the hell are you doing, Jai?” Amelia demanded as she appeared, probably to investigate the commotion happening outside her door. From the look on her face, she was less than amused at what she saw.
I straightened up, smoothing out the wrinkles in my shirt from hunching over, ready to attack the wall of a human still glaring at me.
“What else would I be doing? Visiting my sister.” I flashed her a mega-watt smile, the one I had been using on women my whole life to make them putty in my hands.
Amelia, though, was immune to my charms. Unimpressed, she crossed her arms over her chest as if considering the best way to tell me to get lost.
Her watchdog took note of her body language and stepped to me as if he were daring to kick me out.
Shaking her head, Amelia sighed in resignation. “It’s fine. He can come in.”
Following her into her office, I couldn’t help strolling behind smugly so the bastard would know who’d won.
As I shut the door behind me, she moved behind her desk, putting extra distance between us and letting me know that just because had she invited me inside, I wasn’t off the hook just yet. “Why are you here?”
I dropped into the seat across from her desk, crossing my ankle over my knee as I leaned back. “I told you. Just paying my favorite sister a visit. I haven’t seen you in a while, so I thought I’d check in.”
Her eyes flashed to me sitting so comfortably in front of her in the safety of her office. Her unease kept her from relaxing anyway, but I could see that she wanted to have the upper hand, so she sat on the edge of her seat with her spine straight so she could give the illusion that she was bigger and scarier than me.
“I’m still pissed at you.” She scowled.
My face fell in disappointment. “I know.” I missed my family and being away from them was as difficult as giving Claire her space. I had never felt so alone.
She crossed her arms over her chest and looked off to the side to a
void the risk of feeling any pity for me.
“Did you kill him yet?” The topic made her uncomfortable, and I could see her fidgeting with her fingers in her lap as she waited for my reply—hoping it would be the one she wanted to hear.
I couldn’t answer her. How could I tell her no and then offer her comfort as if everything would be okay? That promise was too big to make. The truth was, I didn’t know what would happen next. God forbid, Leonid got to us before I could try to kill him again. Or what if he got to the children? My stomach went sour at the thought of Meena and Dylan in the hands of such a monster.
Her eyes bored into me, willing me to give her the response she wanted to hear. Shaking my head slowly, I diverted my eyes away from hers, ashamed to have put her in this position.
Before she could respond, the door flew open, and my brother came flying at me. “I’ll kill you, motherfucker. I told you to stay away from my wife.” His hands gripped my shirt and pulled me up to stand. His fist met my face, sending me stumbling backward as I grabbed my jaw in pain.
“What the fuck?!” I shouted, pulling my hand away to check for blood. Thankfully, he hadn’t broken skin, but judging from by proximity, I was in for another round.
“Your ribs are healed, so now you’ll take what you deserve!” Shyam threatened, the venom in his voice lethal.
“Stop it!” Amelia jumped in front of him, acting like a wall to keep him from getting to me. From my periphery, I could see the worthless bodyguard standing in the doorway, too petrified to get involved. Bastard had probably tipped off his boss about my presence.
Pushing Shyam back, Amelia placed her palm in the center of his chest to reel in his anger. “Behave yourself,” she warned, eyeing her husband.
Her gaze bounced to the doorway and spotted the guard. “Get out of here!” she shouted. He didn’t waste a moment before running out of the room and slamming the door. Just as I had thought. Pussy.
“Do both of you promise to be civil?” Amelia stood between us, chastising us just like our mother would have if she were alive to see our behavior. “My company isn’t some fucking fight club. Keep your testosterone in check, you heathens.”
Shyam stayed silent on his side of the ring, like he used to when we were kids and our mother would reprimand us. I couldn’t resist my signature move from childhood: I stuck my tongue out at him, too satisfied at seeing my older brother pussy-whipped by his wife.
Amelia caught my teasing and furrowed her eyebrows at me. I wouldn’t put it past her to throw a punch at me too with how fired up she was right now. “Sit down, now. Both of you!”
We wordlessly heeded her order, me taking my seat while Shyam took the chair behind the desk.
“What happened with Leonid?” she asked, her voice quieter, bracing herself for the nasty truth. “I thought you had a plan?”
I explained the entire failed operation and how I had fallen for Leonid’s decoy. The two people whose opinions mattered most listened in silence as I bared the root of all my frustrations.
Leonid was no longer some business deal that went bad. He was bleeding into every aspect of my life. He had threatened my family and caused me so much stress that I had taken out my frustrations on the only woman I had ever loved.
No one said anything after I was finished speaking. Amelia looked hopeless, like her freedom had been ripped away again. Her mind was most likely preoccupied with ways to keep her children safe, like moving or hiding out.
My brother, on the other hand, just stared at me. He wasn’t a man of many words, and I could tell he was choosing them carefully.
“You need to get him yourself,” he said after some time.
“What do you mean?” I asked, grateful he was no longer yelling at me or punching me.
“No middleman. No snipers or army this time. You kill him yourself,” he said, his tone more forceful, but not out of anger. This was the voice he had always had when he strategized as the head of our drug business.
I clarified his meaning. “You mean like go to Russia and take him down?”
He steepled his fingers against his lips. “Maybe. I’ll go with you.”
Amelia snapped her head back and forth, eyes bulging in disbelief. “What the fuck?!”
We stared at her as her face reddened like she was about to burst, her attention focused on Shyam. She waved her hands back and forth in the air. “Hello? Remember me? Your wife?” She raised one hand in the air. “I’m the woman you left this world for, and now you’re going to waltz back into it?”
“Relax, jaan,” he tried to soothe her. “We need to take him down. We can’t leave this to chance anymore. It has to be us to end him.”
“Oh, hell no! Not you!” she shouted, pointing a finger at Shyam. “You have children now. We need you home safe.” Her voice was shaking from anger.
I understood her argument. Shyam had so much to live for. His children needed their father alive and in one piece, not holed up in some god-forsaken cave in Russia plotting the demise of the Russian mafia.
No, he needed to be home giving piggyback rides and reading bedtime stories. That was what life was about. Not petty vendettas between men with oversized egos. “It’s okay, brother. It should be me. I don’t have a beautiful wife and perfect children who need me, like you do.”
“What about Claire?” Amelia asked quietly.
I threw my hands in the air and let them land in my lap. “I fucked it up.”
“How?” she asked, cocking her head to the side.
“I took out my frustrations with Leonid on her. Now she wants space from me.” I didn’t go into details. Amelia would never forgive me if she knew what I had done to Claire. Hell, she’d probably call her immediately and tell her to run far away from me. She was protective of Claire, which was something Claire needed because she didn’t have many people looking out for her. I was supposed to be the one she could trust the most, yet I had failed her. Amelia and her friend Lana were probably all she had left.
To my surprise, my brother offered advice instead of Amelia. “Give her time, but don’t stop apologizing. You’re the one who fucked up, so you have a lot of making up to do. You need a big gesture to show her how much you care about her.”
Amelia stared at her husband with a proud smile on her face. “What he said!”
I considered my brother’s words. A big gesture. I had the perfect idea.
Chapter XX
Claire
I didn’t want to come, but he said he had something important to show me.
His behavior the night at his place had taken me back to a dark place. A place where I spent most of my childhood. If my mother was the sunshine, then my father was the void the sun left when it set. His temper had made him a difficult person to live with.
During the time when my parents were together, my mother and I had mostly lived separate lives from my father even though we all shared the same house. He came and left as he pleased and wouldn’t tolerate questions about his whereabouts. Maman had learned to live by his rules over time, so we remained unheard and unseen as best we could.
Papa never hit me or Maman, but he was extremely strict. We weren’t allowed to go out unless he gave us permission. Maman might have known who she was getting involved with when she married him, but I was just a child, innocent to the ways of men like Papa. But I had quickly learned the best ways to avoid that type of behavior. I wanted better for myself than what Maman had been forced to tolerate, even if it meant living alone. Being alone was safer than being with someone who could plunge me back into the darkness I was trying to escape.
I wasn’t sure where I stood with Jai now. Though his behavior was frightening, I had also seen the good in him. He had only ever been playful and attentive before then. And his words before I left…I love you. Hearing them made my heart squeeze, because the truth was, I loved him too. He was the firs
t man I had ever fallen for like that. Could I really turn off my feelings for him and forget how I felt? Or what if he ended up being worse than my father? There were just too many unknowns, and I needed more time to think it all through.
But here I was, meeting Jai in the middle of Manhattan. The address he had messaged me turned out to belong to a performance theater. I had seen photos of it on Instagram from numerous ballet dancers I followed who had performed there.
However, the pictures didn’t do it justice. I walked up the center aisle, with the hem of my floral yellow sundress swishing against my thighs and my dance bag containing my pointe shoes, as requested by Jai, swung over my shoulder.
The entire gallery was empty. Red carpeting muted my footsteps as I made my way to the only source of bright light—the stage. Like a beacon in the night, it called to me. The moldings that bordered it could only be described as opulent. The intricate designs etched and painted onto the slabs of wood must have taken months to complete with how elaborate they looked.
I reached the steps next to the stage and climbed each one slowly, taking in the grandeur of where hundreds of dancers had showcased their talents for the world to see. What I would have given to be one of those lucky chosen ones…
The smooth black wood underneath my feet echoed my steps as some force outside of my body pulled me stage center. The lights in the gallery were dim compared to the spotlight that heated my skin, making me come to life.
Peering out, I took in the view—rows and rows of seats for bodies to fill on opening nights, excited to see what a company had prepared for them.
When my eyes scanned the front row of seats, my heart stopped. Lilies. One on each seat. I gasped as I searched row after row only to find a lily standing up on every seat in the house.
The door to the lobby in the back of the house slammed shut. Jai strode in dressed in a suit with a crisp white shirt, unbuttoned enough to see a hint of his toned chest. The scruff on his jaw complemented the perfectly tousled hair on his head—effortlessly handsome, as usual. With his hands in his pockets, he made his way to the front row, peering up at me on the stage.
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