As I’m plotting my escape, the power in the bedroom goes out and the roller shutter starts to lift of its own accord. It appears the universe is finally on my side for once. I smile into the darkness as Brendan starts groaning. I’m assuming that his groan means that his security system has been compromised by the blackout, either that or his gunshot wound is really painful. At this stage, I’ll take either option.
“Don’t go anywhere, darling. I’ll be right back for you.”
I grin with sadistic pleasure at Brendan, even though he probably can't see it in the dark, before I unlock the window and slide it open quietly. I pause briefly, listening for an alarm. Not hearing anything, I gingerly climb through the window. Even though I have tried not to show Brendan, my entire body and especially my face is aching mercilessly.
“What the fuck? Princess?”
The earth tilts when I am unceremoniously hauled to my feet and thrown over a very large shoulder. I barely made it ten metres after climbing out of the window before my flagging energy meant I had to rest on the ground for a few minutes. My whole body lurches up and down as my rescuer runs with me. Feeling a leather cut under my cheek and judging by the size of the shoulder I’m resting over, I’m sure I’m in Timber’s safe hands. No one else calls me Princess and gets away with it.
“I’ve got her! Mad Dog, I’ve fucking got her!” Timber stage whispers after a good minute or so, finally slowing his pace.
At the mention of Mik, I lift my torso and head from Timber’s back and wrap my arms around his neck so I can look for my fiancé. He stuffs his handgun in the back of his pants and lowers me until I'm cradled against his chest like a bride.
“Mik?”
I can’t see anything in the darkness. A car door opens and highlighted by the interior light, my favourite sight in the whole world appears. He strides towards us, astonishment on his face. Without thought or regard for my injuries, I jump out of Timber’s arms and launch myself at him. He catches me as I wrap my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist, clinging to him like a monkey. I burst into tears, burying my face in his neck.
“Fuck, Angel. Are you alright? What are you doing out here? We were coming to find you.”
Mik quietly shoots question after question at me but I can’t answer. Happiness at being with him again flows through my entire body, rendering me speechless.
“Shit Mad Dog, she’s got a gun!” Timber whispers quickly, plucking the gun gingerly from my hand. I laugh wholeheartedly into Mik’s neck, the tension in me broken at the scandalized tone of his voice. Fancy forgetting you’re still holding a gun.
“Yeah, I shot Brendan after I handcuffed him to his own bed.”
I shrug and Mik chuckles. Timber shakes his head at me, slowly breaking into a grin at my words.
“That’s my woman.”
Mik kisses me hard and I wince, pulling away from his mouth. My mouth and most of my face is in agony but even without the pain, I still don’t want him too close to me until I’ve had a scalding shower and brushed my teeth. Preferably in bleach.
“Lainey, did he?” Mik asks, obviously thinking my reaction means that Brendan has raped me again. He cocks his eyebrow as I hesitate to answer the one question I didn’t want voiced just yet. I shake my head at him and relief floods his expression until I whisper my response to his unwanted question.
“Not exactly.”
His face goes hard and he growls. It’s not going to go well when I tell him what happened during my abduction. He had a hard enough time reining himself in last time. My brain starts spinning in a million directions as serious doubts creep in that he is going to understand the lengths I went to in order to escape. Especially now I know the MC was here to rescue me.
“Is he fucking dead?” Timber queries.
“No I shot him in the leg…he’s still handcuffed to his bed... ”
I am about to elaborate when commotion erupts three houses down the street. In the dim light thrown by the moon, I can make out a group of ten or so men. Mik lets out a loud whistle and the group starts moving quickly towards us.
“The whole fucking house is clear. There’s no one there but something went down. One of the bedrooms has motherfucking blood all over the bed. She must be hurt bad. I’m gonna fucking kill him when I find him!” Dad starts ranting once he is in earshot. He obviously hasn’t seen me in Mik’s arms.
“It’s not my blood, I shot him Dad.”
He stares through the dark at me, blinking twice as if he can't believe his eyes. As he goes to speak to me, I interrupt because the last part of his rant grabs my attention.
“What do you mean ‘when you find him’? I left him handcuffed to the bed…” Trailing off, I wait for Dad to answer.
“Fuck, baby girl, thank God you’re safe!”
Dad strides through the group to stand in front of us.
“I don't know what you left there but no one’s in that hellhole now.”
He peers at my bruised face, gingerly putting his paws of either side of my head as he examines the damage. He kisses my forehead.
“Where are you hurt? Do you need the fucking sick bay again?”
“My ribs are sore and my face is banged up but apart from that I think I’m okay.” Smiling at his description of the hospital, I continue. “I don’t need to go to the hospital, Dad.”
Dad nods his huge head, relief flooding his face. He doesn't cope well when any of his kids are injured. Helplessness doesn't agree with him.
“We gotta find this cunt fast. We found a motherfuckering telescope for spying on your house and a shrine he's built of my baby girl. It’s fucking sick.”
Thankfully, Dad’s turned his attention from me and is directing this at Mik. I’m grateful for his diverted attention because I know that very soon he’s going to want answers that I don’t want to give. Suspicion is clouding his gaze as he rants at Mik. I already knew about the telescope but my ears prick up at the mention of a shrine. I saw some photos on the wall but nothing shrine-like. God knows what a shrine would entail in my Dad’s eyes. I feel sick just thinking about it.
“I know that there’s more to this fucking situation than I’ve been told.” Dad finally voices his suspicion, one finger pointed at Mik and me.
Not wanting to meet anyone’s eyes I bury my head into Mik’s neck. It seems as if they all have new suspicions about what happened to me—now and previously. My soul feels dirty, the feelings of being tainted and damaged that I have fought off, again and again, over the last four years rising to the surface at the thought of everyone knowing what's been done to me. Bile rises in my throat and I force myself to swallow it down. My body begins shaking uncontrollably as the realization that this situation isn't over yet, even though Brendan no longer has me. Mik’s arms tighten around me as he feels my distress.
“Fucking lay off, Beast.” Mik points his finger right back at Dad, interrupting his flow. “Let’s get Lainey back to the Clubhouse and checked out before you start your shit.”
I sneak a peek at my suddenly silent father, he’s standing there with his mouth wordlessly opening and closing. Usually I'm the only one able to render him speechless because I’m not afraid to stand up to him so Mik successfully shutting him up is a minor miracle. I whisper my thanks into Mik’s neck as he turns his back on everyone and carries me to his car away from their questioning gazes.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Lainey
Present Day
“So are you gonna tell me what really happened tonight, Angel?”
I suppress a grimace at his gentle, probing question. When I force myself to meet his gaze, I find his hazel eyes clouded with love and concern. Trust my intuitive man to guess that I’ve been hiding what really happened during my abduction.
My whole body is still aching slightly even though Doc and Wendy have cleaned me up and given me some strong pain relief medication. Doc even used his portable X-ray to make sure my ribs aren't broken. I’m exhausted from filling the Club i
n on what really happened four years ago and from providing an abbreviated version of today’s events.
Mik did most of the talking about the past to spare me, but I was still forced to give details about some of the things he didn't know everything about. Embarrassment has made itself at home in my bones now that everyone knows and it’s choking me. I feel dirty, used, and broken.
My bombastic father hasn’t spoken a word since his initial explosion after he was told what Brendan did to me on my eighteenth birthday. He’s pulled deeper and deeper into himself with each revelation, leaving most of the questioning up to Wendy. I doubt our relationship is ever going to be the same.
The men of the Club are having trouble meeting my eyes which is pissing me off and Wendy and the other Old Ladies haven't stopped fussing over me even though I’ve assured everyone numerous times that I’m fine. I'm drowning in their pity and sympathy and my pride can't handle it.
This reaction is exactly why I didn’t tell everyone what happened four years ago. From now on I’m going to be Lainey who was raped, beaten and blackmailed not Lainey who can look after herself and will kick any of their asses if they step out of line. I'm always going to be seen as broken now that everyone knows.
“I don't know what you're talking about, Mik,” I reply, letting my exhaustion show in my voice in hope that it will encourage him to leave his questions until the morning.
He growls at me with exasperation, clearly knowing I'm lying to him.
Ignoring him, I turn my back to him and lie down on the king sized bed that dominates Mik’s room at the compound. It was decided that we will stay on lockdown until Brendan is found. No one knows how long that is going to take so—for the time being—I have no way of escaping everyone's reactions.
After I was finished being thoroughly embarrassed by rehashing my past, I was finally allowed to retreat to Mik’s room. I've showered and changed into clean gym shorts, sports bra and a t-shirt that I stole from Mik, piling my wet hair on top of my head.
Now that I'm clean, all I want to do is be left by myself so I can get my head straight. I’ve managed to gloss over most of what happened tonight and would like to keep it that way. Unfortunately it appears that Mik has a different plan.
“You should get back out there. Sounds like there’s a good party ramping up.”
The pounding music and laughter coming from the bar tells me that everyone is making the most of lockdown, my family’s crisis be damned. I'm hoping it entices him into leaving me alone, although it's doubtful.
Lying on the bed behind me and pulling my body gently into the curve of his, Mik ignores me. He stripped down to his boxer briefs whilst I was showering and the warmth of his hard body engulfs me, making me feel like I am home.
We lie there silently for a while before he sighs and kisses the back of my head. He was so still that I thought he’d fallen asleep. His sudden movement jolts me out of my dark thoughts, my body instantly tensing as if I’m about to be attacked. I remind my traitorous body that it’s only Mik touching me and force myself to relax. I can tell from the tension that grips him that he noticed my reaction.
“Don’t lock me out, Lainey. I know shit you don't want to admit went down tonight. He didn’t just lock you in a room and then let you shoot him and climb out a fucking window. For fucks sake, your clothes are missing and you have bruises all over you.”
My version of tonight consisted of four thugs snatching me from our driveway and delivering me to Brendan who then roughed me up a little. He tried to seduce me but when I rebuffed him, he’d locked me in his room. I told them I’d found a gun after searching his drawers and had shot and handcuffed him before escaping out of the window after Kyle had shut down the power. I knew Mik hadn’t brought it but I’d hoped he wouldn’t question me until I could come up with a better story. No such luck.
Lying still, I ignore his probing. If I tell him that Brendan touched me again and then I topped it off by sucking his cock in order to escape, I might lose him and I couldn’t handle that. I love him so deeply that it feels like he's embedded within my soul. I know he loves me but his love has to have a limit to what it can withstand. He’s dealt with so much crap on my behalf and instead of running for the hills, he stayed and nursed me back to health.
Mik has never once looked at me as if I was broken or less than I was and I appreciate that more than he knows. My biggest fear is that this last incident could be the one that breaks his love and causes him to run. It’s to be expected because there’s only so much a man can take before his love is damaged, especially when another man violates his woman. My man is stronger than most, but I won't risk it.
“Talk to me, Mo Ghrá. I need to know what happened and you need to let it out. It’ll eat you up if you try to pretend it was nothing. Remember what Dr. Louise told you last time? That you didn’t deserve any of this and none of it is your fault,” he murmurs to me quietly. “The same applies this time. I can help you deal with it, just like I did last time. You just have to tell me what happened.”
Tears pool in my eyes as I absorb his words. I know he's right but my fear has me prisoner. Brendan’s voice also reverberates around my head, haunting me. I’m a dumb slut, my body has been used and broken, what makes me think that Mik’s going to keep wanting me especially when he finds out what I did?
Sitting up abruptly, I wipe my threatening tears away before I face Mik.
“There’s nothing to talk about. Stop trying to analyze me. Please leave me alone. I need some space,” I say with rising angst, clumsily jumping to my feet and pointing at the door.
He rolls off the bed, pulling his jeans on before he stands with his hands on his hips. Searching my face for signs I'm going to relent, he shakes his head when he doesn't find any.
“I don’t fucking want to but I’ll give you the space you need, Angel. But you will be telling me what happened tonight very fucking soon. We can get past anything as long as we’re honest with each other, you know that.”
Pulling my rigid body into his arms, he hugs me tightly to his bare chest. I want nothing more than to melt into his arms but I refuse. Leaning on him will cause me to break down and tell him what happened and what I did. I will not run the risk of ruining our relationship.
Kissing my forehead before giving me one last squeeze, Mik pulls away from me. I look at the floor as he opens the door.
“I love you. Nothing will change that, Lainey. Please remember that.”
The moment the door closes behind him, I break down. Climbing under the covers I roll myself into a sobbing ball, ignoring the protests of my sore body. I don’t know how long I cry but I eventually wear myself out and fall asleep. I awaken when the door to our room opens and Mik enters.
“How is she?” My dad sounds like a shell of himself as he poses his question.
Mik walks back out into the hallway, leaving the door open behind him.
“How do you think she is, Beast? We just got ourselves to a good place. You know, planning the wedding and seeing doctors to see if she can get pregnant. And then that cunt turns back up to fuck with her again. Now she won’t fucking talk to me. Everything’s fucked.”
It’s obvious that Mik’s trying to keep his voice down so he don’t wake me but as his emotions get the better of him, his voice grows louder. Guilt overwhelms me when I recognize the pain he's feeling.
“You going all silent isn’t going to help her either. Why the fuck do you think she didn't tell you any of this four fucking years ago? Because she knew you'd act like this.” He draws in a ragged breath. “Everyone has to treat her the same or she’ll shut down completely. She thinks we’ll think she’s damaged goods now.”
I hear a short scuffle before Mik speaks again, breathing hard. “Calm the fuck down. You’ll wake her if you lose your shit. Punching walls and throwing stuff is not gonna help her, for fuck sake.”
“How can I calm down, Mad Dog? I need to fuck somethin’ up or I’m gonna lose it. She’s my baby girl and I l
et her down. I should’ve never let that snobby cunt near her. It’s killing me to know what he did to her and why? For fucking Benjamin. Because he got himself into drugs. What would Alanah say?” Dad’s voice is trembling. It sounds as if he’s crying. The only other time I’ve known my Dad to cry was Mom’s funeral.
“Alanah would hate me for letting our girl get hurt. Fuck, I’ve failed Benji as well. I had no idea fucking idea about any of this.” Mik must embrace Dad because his words become muffled.
“My beautiful Alanah is turning is her grave, right now.”
“Bullshit, Beast, Alanah would be proud that you made her strong enough to survive his shit. Any other woman would have crumbled under the hell she went through. Not Lainey though, she bounced back. Fuck, Beast, none of you guys even fucking guessed what happened to her. That’s how strong she is.”
“You’re right. I know you’re right. She’s always been the strongest of all of us. You make sure you tell her that. Tell her I’ll come talk to her in the morning, if she wants to see me.”
I hear them slapping each other’s backs before Dad’s voice starts getting further down the hall.
“We’re gonna hunt that cunt down and fuck him up. Jail was too good for him then and it’s definitely too good for him now. He’s going in the fucking ground!”
“Fucking oath, Beast.”
Mik walks into our room, shutting the door quietly behind him. He strips off his jeans as he walks into the room. I hear him toss them on the armchair. The edge of the bed dips as Mik climbs in next to me. I flinch when he surprises me by gently pulling me to his chest so he can spoon me. We sleep like this most nights but I wasn’t expecting him to want to after how I treated him earlier. His sharp intake of breath at my reaction to his touch makes me feel even worse.
“Ssssh, my love. It’s just me. You’re safe now,” he croons as he rocks us both slightly.
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