Scanner Kidz

by R M Scotford

  “No, no, no I won’t be fine. I think I need a woggle,” Abu demanded.

  Douggie looked Abu straight into the eyes.

  “You don’t even know what one is. How could you possibly need one?”

  “That’s not the point. I feel like an idiot in this dumb costume. Kimi seems to think a woggle is important, and I happen to agree with her.”

  Douggie sighed.

  “Mate, you won’t need a woggle.”

  “I want one.”

  “We don’t have ONE.”

  “I want one.”

  “But we don’t have one.”

  “Well — I’m not going to do this without one.”

  Douggie sighed again. He looked at Maggie, hoping she’d understand.

  “Maggie, can you run to the corner shop. I’m sure they sell WOGGLES down there.”

  For a second, Maggie had no idea what Douggie was on about, but when she saw him wink, she got the message.

  “Oh yeah — right. Last time I was there they had a whole box full. How many do you want?”

  “Abu, how many woggles do you want?” Douggie said quickly.

  Abu looked confused by the question and turned to Kimiko for help.

  “How many do I need?” he said.

  Trying desperately to hide her amusement, Kimiko kept a straight face and answered Abu’s question.

  “Normally, one’s enough.”

  Abu thought for a while.

  “Ok, Maggie, can you get me two. No. Three. Just in case.” He crossed his arms in smug satisfaction.

  “Good choice Abu. Three’s a good number. Maggie can you go and get three woggles, but be quick we don’t have much time.”

  Abu smiled haughtily at the others; his arms still folded tightly across his chest.

  Maggie skipped down the street. She couldn’t help but feel admiration for Douggie. He was a great leader for the gang. He’d handled Abu so well. She chuckled to herself; Abu had no idea what a woggle was. Suddenly it dawned on her that she had no idea what a woggle was either. She stopped for a second. Abu was expecting her to get him at least three woggles, and she didn’t even know what a woggle was for. Obviously, Scouts used them, and they were as important as caps and badges. Maybe the man at the shop would know.

  She bounced through the doors of the shop and scanned the shelves. It was one of those candy/stationary shops that sold just about everything - from lottery tickets to cheap plastic toys to super-sized teddy bears. If anywhere was going to sell woggles then this was it. There were things stacked on top of other things; half-opened boxes blocked the already jam-packed isles. It was an obstacle course just to get to the counter. Behind the till sat a thin, bearded guy wearing a bright pink turban.

  “Excuse me, sir,” Maggie asked politely. “Do you have any woggles?”

  “What?” replied the man. “What is it you want?”

  “I’m looking for some woggles?” Maggie said, this time a lot less sure of her question.

  “Oh, yes, yes. We have plenty, plenty woggles. Over there by the tennis rackets.”

  He pointed enthusiastically to a corner of the cluttered shop. She made her way carefully through the isles in the direction that the man had pointed, looking forward to finding out what exactly a woggle was. But when she got to the small glass cabinet next to the tennis rackets it was filled with something she didn’t expect. She shouted across at the man,

  “You mean these in this case?”

  The man waved at her.

  “Yes, yes. Plenty, plenty.” He gave her a big, toothless smile.

  Maggie shook her head and shouted across the store,

  “THESE ARE GOGGLES. I WANT WOGGLES.”

  The man looked perplexed and waved his hands in the air.

  “Only this, plenty, plenty goggles. Only this goggles we sell here.”

  It was no good, they obviously didn’t have any, and she was running out of time. She’d have to make it up. Abu didn’t even know what a woggle was anyway so she could choose anything. She rummaged through the store. There would be something in here that she could pass as the mystery woggle.

  Douggie, Abu and Kimiko waited anxiously on the corner of the street. Douggie glanced at his watch,

  “Come on, Maggie. Where are you?”

  Abu smiled sheepishly.

  “Maximus can only get out of the house between two and three.” Douggie sounded really worried.

  “If Maggie doesn’t come in the next five minutes, we’ll have to leave without her. We have to meet Maximus.”

  Abu stared at his feet, realising that he’d been a bit of a pain insisting that he had a few woggles. Kimiko pointed down the street.

  “Here she comes now.”

  Maggie skipped over and greeted them with a big grin.

  “Got the woggles.” She held out a small plastic bag.

  Douggie quickly grabbed the bag and pulled out the contents. Inside the bag were three plastic toys. They were the kind of toy that had a large spring and a plastic sucker, and the spring could be compressed onto the sucker. Then the toy would stay in the locked position for a while until the sucker finally popped, shooting the toy a few feet in the air. Abu looked at the toys. There was a mouse, a horse, and some kind of animal that looked like a pig or maybe it was a dog. He’d played with this sort of toy for years. He had no idea what they were called.

  “So — these are woggles?” He didn’t look convinced.

  “Yup, those are woggles alright, well done Maggie,” Douggie said, as he hurriedly tipped the toys back into the bag.

  “Hang on, hang on. How come Cub Scouts need these? What are they for?”

  Douggie glanced across at Kimiko.

  “Kimiko, explain to Abu why woggles are so important, but please do it while we walk. We have to meet Maximus in five minutes.

  As well as being a great drawer, Kimiko was also a really good storyteller. By the time the children had reached the Hobbs’ elegant front gate, she’d completely convinced Abu about the importance of the funny toys called woggles to a Cub Scout and how no Scout would ever leave home without at least one woggle in his possession. Abu looked at the woggles with a new sense of appreciation.

  “Wow, Kimiko. I had no idea these toys were so amazing.”

  Kimiko did her best to hide her smile.

  How Much is a Bob?

  The grounds to the Hobbs’ huge house were bigger and better than the local park. The children walked up the white gravel drive in amazement.

  “Wow!” exclaimed Kimiko. “Do they really have all this space for themselves? It seems a little selfish to me.”

  Douggie pointed across at the front lawns.

  “I bet you could fit about six soccer pitches in just that space there.”

  “I think these gardens are bigger than my school,” Kimiko added.

  Maximus giggled.

  “I’ve looked at the aerial photographs of this house. The house and its surrounding gardens are bigger than the whole town. Kimiko, your school is about as big as one of the car garages.”

  Kimiko screwed up her face.

  “So are these people, like, really rich?”

  “Rich is not a word I’d use to describe the Hobbs,” Maximus replied. “My parents are rich, but The Hobbs and the Kiddy-Care Empire are phenomenally wealthy. Beyond all measure.”

  “Do they own jets?” Jimmy asked excitedly

  “The Kiddy-Care Empire owns airlines. It has centres all over the world. It makes millions of dollars a day from all kinds of business. Some say the owner is a superwoman.”

  “Yeah, but she doesn’t have superpowers, not like us, does she? Maggie said. “I mean it’s the mad scientist guy who made all the robots. He’s the clever one, right?”

  Maximus shook his head.

  “Who knows? The robots are very convincing. Maybe it took someone with superpowers to make them.”

  Douggie quickly took hold of Maximus’ shoulder and stopped him from walking.

  “H
ang on a minute Maximus, are you saying the scientist has superpowers like us?”

  “I’m not saying that at all. All I’m saying is that maybe there’s some strange power behind the robots.”

  They all looked at each other wide-eyed as the enormity of the job ahead of them sunk in; six small kids against one of the wealthiest corporations ever to exist. Only Maximus could work out the odds and, luckily, he wasn’t sharing the figures.

  The children approached the huge archways hiding the magnificent mahogany doorway to the grand house. All around them were signs of tremendous wealth; a huge fountain, Rolls Royce’s, exotic plants and elegant statues. The children looked small inside the opulent, stately grounds and felt even smaller. Douggie glanced at the others, as well as Abu and himself, Jimmy and Maximus were dressed in makeshift Cub Scout uniforms. Kimiko had been right, their uniforms looked pretty shabby and unconvincing to the trained eye, but Douggie was confident that their innocence, a bit of luck and some smooth talking would get them through. While the other kids stared at the opulence of the front door, Douggie gave the embroidered bell handle a confident tug. The doorbell erupted into a symphony of chimes that any self-respecting church would have been proud of on a Sunday morning.

  “Gosh,” said Kimiko. “I’ve never heard a bell like that before. Sounds like a cathedral.”

  Finally, the bells stopped, and a faint sound of footsteps could be heard coming closer to the big wooden door.

  Clip—clop—clip—clop—clip—clop

  The children froze as someone behind the door opened the locks.

  Clunk—click—clunk—click—clunk—clunk—CREAK

  The door swung open releasing the musty air from the house. It smelt of old people. Like frightened rabbits caught in the bright headlights of a fast moving car, the children were glued to the floor, unable to think, unable to move, unable to speak, ready to be splatted. They stared at the man who’d opened the door. The surprised man stared at the gaggle of children on his doorstep. No one spoke, no one moved. For a good ten seconds eyes met eyes but not a word was uttered. Finally, the man, who had the appearance of a skinny, harmless grandfather, broke the silence.

  “Erh, yes? Is there anything I can do for you?”

  The children were mesmerized by the man’s thick grey moustache and his shiny, bald head.

  “I’m sorry,” said the old man. “Do you have the right house? What is it you want?”

  As usual, it was Maggie who was first to speak.

  “Can we wash your car?” she blurted out, almost incomprehensibly.

  “What?” replied the man, “Can you, what?”

  Now that Maggie had broken the silence, Douggie found it easier to speak.

  “It’s Scout’s Job Week. We’re here to do jobs. Can we wash your car?”

  The man’s friendly face lit up with the realization.

  “Oh, how excellent. Bob a Job. I haven’t seen a ‘Bobber Jobber’ for years. How much is a Bob these days?” Confused the children looked at each other.

  “What’s a Bob?” asked Jimmy.

  “Well, I’m not at all sure,” replied the man. “You tell me. Back in my day a few bucks were more than enough for a car wash.”

  Abu burst into laughter.

  “Look mister, it’s gonna cost you more than a couple of bucks for us to wash your car.”

  Douggie gave Abu a tiny nudge with his foot. He didn’t want Abu to blow the plan by arguing about the cost of a car wash, but before he could name a price, Abu spoke again.

  “A tenner. It’ll cost you a tenner for us to wash the car, which is a bargain. Anyway, you’re loaded. You can afford it.”

  Smelling some easy money, Jimmy joined in,

  “Yeah, a tenner is a good price. There’s six of us and it goes to a good cause.”

  The old man looked at the children suspiciously.

  “You don’t look like Cub Scouts to me. Since when were girls in the Cubs? Back in my day, the Cubs were for the boys. Shouldn’t you girls be in the Guides?”

  “Yes — yes, we are,” answered quick thinking Kimiko. “We’re Guides, and the boys are Scouts. We’re helping them out.”

  “Hmmmmmmm,” mused the old man. “So aren’t you girls supposed to wear a uniform? And look at you boys, what kind of uniforms are these?” He reached out and examined Douggie’s red neckerchief.

  “You boys don’t even have woggles, you’re using elastic bands to hold your scarves together.”

  On hearing the word woggle, Abu stepped forward.

  “I have woggles, look I’ve got three,” he pulled out the plastic bag from his pocket and emptied the cheap, plastic toys into his hand. “Look,” he said proudly, “I have three woggles.”

  The old man took one of the plastic toys out of Abu’s hands and examined it.

  “What did you say?”

  “Woggles, I’ve got the woggles. No one else has any,” Abu said smugly.

  The man peered through his glasses at Abu.

  “What on earth are you talking about, boy?”

  Douggie quickly interrupted the conversation before it had time to develop further.

  “Come on. Mister. Let us wash your car. We’ll do a good job, I promise.”

  The old man held the toy firmly in his hand and gave it squeeze.

  “Alright then, you can wash that one over there.”

  He pointed across to an impressive golden Rolls Royce.

  “But I don’t want any funny business. You’re lucky my wife’s not home. Otherwise, there’d be no chance for you to even make a single penny.”

  The man seemed really nice, how could he be the mad scientist who wanted to take over the world?

  “What’s your name then?” Kimiko asked.

  “Well,” he said, sounding very jolly, “to most people I’m known as Mr. Hobbs, but I’m also called Grenwold — Grenwold Hobbs.” He seemed happy to be saying his own name, like it was something he’d almost forgotten.

  “Well, I’m Kimi. I’m very pleased to meet you, Mr. Grenwold Hobbs.”

  She held out her hand. One by one the children introduced themselves to Mr. Hobbs. It was difficult to believe that this man was responsible for making an army of exploding nursery teachers. Why would he want to hurt anyone? Grenwold looked impressed when the children pulled out buckets, sponges and shammy leathers from their bags.

  “My word, you fellows are organized. How many cars have you washed this week?”

  “One,” said Maggie.

  “Ten,” shouted Jimmy.

  Perplexed, Grenwold looked at the children. “So is it ten or one?”

  “It’s eleven,” cried Kimiko.

  “Eleven?” exclaimed Grenwold. “You don’t seem to be sure?”

  “No, it’s very simple,” continued Kimiko. “We washed ten cars; Maggie has washed one. That’s eleven. This car is our twelfth.”

  “Well, well,” chuckled Grenwold, “Eleven cars at ten dollars a go is quite a tidy sum of money.”

  Always the businessman, Jimmy seized his opportunity.

  “Actually, most people paid us fifteen, and one person even paid us twenty.”

  Once again Grenwold gave out a happy little chuckle.

  “Heaven forbid that I should pay less than the going rate. I think I’ll pay twenty, too. Seeing as you’re all so organized with your own equipment and all the money goes to a good cause. So, I guess you young ones will be needing some hot water. Do you have your own soap?”

  Maggie held up two tubs.

  “We have soap and wax.”

  “Well, I’ll sort out the hose and some hot water. Who’d like to help me carry it?”

  Immediately Maximus and Douggie raised their hands.

  “We’ll help,”

  The plan was working.

  As the others soaped up the enormous gold car, Douggie and Maximus got down to the serious business of locating the all-important laptop. Kimiko was doing a great job of keeping Grenwold busy, the pair of them were chat
ting away like old friends. Douggie and Maximus had already made numerous trips to the kitchen to fetch hot water and, once they were sure they wouldn’t be missed, they crept slowly down the corridor and away from the others.

  “Do you think there are any other people in the house?” Maximus asked fearfully.

  “Well, we know his wife isn’t here, and he was the one to open the door, so I guess not,” Douggie whispered.

  “Which way shall we go? This could take us all day. The house is huge.”

  “Let’s start over here, near the front door. It didn‘t take very long for him to answer the door so maybe his office is quite near.”

  Sure enough, tucked away under the stairs was Grenwold’s office. And there on the old wooden desk, amongst a jumble of papers and books, was his laptop.

  “Jackpot,” said Maximus feeling very relieved.

  “Like stealing candy from a baby,” joked Douggie. “Get out the Zip De-Coder. Let’s download all his data and get out of here.”

  Maximus plugged his new machine into the laptop’s USB port. Instantly it broke all the passwords on the laptop.

  “There’s no time to sort through the info; I’ll download everything and run through it tonight.”

  Douggie gave Maximus a pat on the back.

  “You’re the Tech-King of the world, my friend. We couldn’t have done this without you.”

  Maximus beamed. He loved the gang and all his new friends. As soon as the two boys had captured all the information from the computer, they quickly made their way back to the kitchen and filled up two more buckets with clean, hot water. Grenwold was none the wiser. For him, it had been a splendid day and he’d thoroughly enjoyed chatting to Kimiko and watching the children clean his car.

  “Well,” shouted Douggie so that everyone could hear, “you’ve made a great job of the car. It looks really clean. These are the LAST buckets of hot water.”

  These were the words the gang had agreed on as a signal it was time to go. All the children got the message, and within minutes the two buckets of water had been thrown over the car. Jimmy promptly collected the twenty dollars, and the children were off down the long driveway before Grenwold had any chance to find out he’d been robbed by mini-cyber-criminals.