“You mean to say you are going to stay here and sew?” asked Wilbur in a seething tone. “I guess it is expected since you are only a monk. Or should I say you are a fighting man ignoring his duties and hiding behind the guise of becoming a monk!”
Étienne’s hands balled into fists and he clenched his jaw, trying to keep from saying what he really wanted to. He was trying to bring peace between two sides, but now he felt as if he wanted to start the war himself.
“That’s enough, Wilbur!” The baron entered the room, causing everyone to turn toward the door and bow.
“Baron Willoughby, I didn’t know you were there,” Wilbur answered in a shaky voice.
“Apparently not. I didn’t expect this kind of behavior out of you,” he reprimanded the boy. “Especially after all the time I’ve been spending with you, teaching you how to someday be a chivalric knight.”
“My dear, Wilbur didn’t do anything wrong,” his mother tried to convince him, coming to Wilbur’s rescue.
The baron turned and gave Lady Martha a scolding glare. “I don’t like to be interrupted.”
“My apologies, my lord,” answered Lady Martha with a bow of her head.
“If Lord Étienne says there is a lot to be done, then I suggest everyone help out. That includes you, Wilbur.”
“Me?” Wilbur looked horrified. “Mother, tell him I’m not going to do the work of ladies.”
“My lord,” Martha started, but was hushed by the baron’s halting hand.
“Philippa, what do you need done to prepare for your St. Valentine’s Day dance?”
“Father?” asked Philippa, looking very confused. “You don’t . . . mind that I host the gathering after all?”
The baron hesitated, his eyes flashing over to Étienne for a second before he answered. “As Lord Étienne said, the invitations have already been sent and we need to prepare to greet the nobles who will be showing up at our doorstep in a few days’ time.”
“Thank you, Father.” A smile spread across Philippa’s face.
“Tell the boys what you need them to do,” Étienne told Pippa.
“Of course,” she said, flashing him a smile of gratitude as well. “I need someone to start cutting out hearts from the pink and red woolen material so the ladies can sew the names from this list onto the fabric.” She held the top of the list in the air and it unrolled, nearly hitting the ground it was so long.
“Names on hearts?” asked Étienne, not sure what she wanted that for. “And you need all of those names sewn onto the hearts afterwards?” He stared in shock at the amount of people Pippa had invited to the gathering.
“Aye,” Pippa answered. “At the celebration, everyone will have a turn to choose a heart from a large bowl. Whoever’s name is on it, will be their partner for the duration of the dance.”
“How does that work?” asked Étienne. “If everyone chooses a name then they would each have two partners.”
“The women have the real choice,” said Pippa with a blush to her cheeks. “If they don’t want the name they chose, they can instead decide to go with the man who chose their name instead.”
“This is stupid,” spat Wilbur. “I don’t want to attend the dance so I am not going to help.”
“Everyone attends,” the baron said in a low voice. “Wilbur, you will help Franklin cut out hearts.”
“And try not to kill each other with the shears,” Étienne added with a chuckle.
“But Baron,” Lady Martha objected. “I had planned for Wilbur to go on the hunt with us, so he won’t be able to stay here.”
“You’re not going anywhere,” said the baron. “My daughter needs help with sewing the names of the guests onto the hearts. Didn’t you hear her? Go on, then.”
“Me?” asked Martha with a gasp, holding her hand to her chest.
“You.”
With a scowl, Martha picked up her skirts and headed over to join the rest of the ladies in the solar.
“What do you need from me?” Étienne asked Pippa.
“From us,” said the baron stepping up to join Étienne.
“Really, Father?” Pippa’s eyes looked glassy if Étienne wasn’t mistaken. Her father’s actions seemed to surprise and please her. He didn’t expect it either.
“You heard me,” said the baron. “I said I would help as well.”
“Thank you. I was going to the larder next to see how much meat we have. I have planned some special food for the celebration and I’ve left the list with the steward just this morning.”
“Then I will be happy to check in with the steward and arrange a hunting party after all to bring back whatever you require.”
Pippa thanked him once again and walked over and kissed the man on the cheek. As soon as he left the room, she turned to Étienne. “Thank you for that.”
“For what?” asked Étienne.
“I know my father. He has never supported my decisions in the past, especially when it comes to my gatherings. I know you had something to do with him changing his mind.”
Étienne put his hand on Pippa’s elbow and escorted her toward the table. “Once you have things here underway, perhaps I could accompany you as you see to the rest of the preparations.”
“Thank you. I would like that.”
Pippa stood on her tiptoes and kissed Étienne on the cheek before she turned and headed over to instruct the boys in how to cut out woolen hearts. Martha glared at him from across the room, but he didn’t care. He liked Pippa and truly wanted to help her in any way he could. And the next time she kissed him, he could only hope it would be on the mouth instead.
Chapter 10
Étienne blessed himself at the end of mass, not even knowing it was over until he saw the nobles leaving the chapel. He’d been so busy watching and thinking about Pippa that praying had been the last thing on his mind.
“Lord Étienne,” said Brother Paul from his side. “May I speak to you?”
“Of course,” he answered, but kept looking at Pippa. She didn’t even know he was watching her from across the chapel and, for that, he was glad. If she had known, there was a good chance she would figure out that he had feelings for her. It was probably a sin but, throughout the entire mass, all he could do was think of his lucky brother being betrothed to the girl that he wanted for his own.
Brother Paul cleared his throat and Étienne turned back to him. “Mayhap we can talk as I escort Lady Philippa to the great hall.”
“I need to talk to you alone,” said the monk, looking upset about something.
Étienne glanced over his shoulder to see Pippa and her handmaid exit the chapel.
“What is it?” he asked, hoping this wouldn’t take too long so he could get to the great hall in time to claim a seat next to Pippa.
“Étienne, I’m sorry,” said the monk, looking down and folding his hands in prayer. The rest of the occupants as well as the priest left the room and now the small chapel of the castle was empty.
“Sorry? For what?”
“I made a promise to your father but I am not going to be able to keep it. For this, I feel bad. I will pray extra hard to God to beg for forgiveness.”
“Don’t worry about it.” Étienne smiled and brushed a speck of dirt off his tunic as he spoke. “I don’t keep promises I make to my father either.”
“I know. And that is the problem.”
“I’m afraid I don’t know what you mean.” The monk was making no sense whatsoever.
“Sit down, Étienne. What I have to say isn’t going to be easy.”
“All right.” Étienne sat on the bench and stared at the monk as he waited. “What is it?”
Brother Paul sighed and sat down next to him. “When the abbot and I agreed to accept you as a novice at Alkborough Priory, it was done as a favor to your father.”
“And?”
“You see, your father thought you would repent and change while in training. However, it’s been six months now and I just don’t see that happening at all
.”
“So, you’re saying I still have a bad reputation?”
“It’s not that you have a bad reputation. Well, actually you do, but what I mean to say is that I can see your heart isn’t in it.”
“That’s nonsense. I have stuck with it for six months now even though I admit I am very bored at times. But it’s been tolerable since I have found ways to bring life inside the priory walls.”
“I know. You have broken several vows now with you drinking and gambling.”
“Surely that’s not really a problem, is it? I’ll say a few extra rosaries and throw in a couple more prayer sessions a day and I’m sure God will forgive me.”
“Mayhap God will, but I cannot allow you to continue training with your weapons, or sneaking out of the monastery to the taverns, or coercing the traveling knights to play cards with you.”
Étienne let out a sigh. “I suppose I did break my vows. However, I am not a monk yet. I still have six more months as a novice. I assure you I will try harder to do as expected from now on.” Even though Étienne didn’t like being a novice, he felt as if he had nowhere else to turn. Without the support of his family, he couldn’t go back to France. And without being a knight, not to mention being French, he wasn’t sure the English would accept him either.
“That . . . isn’t all Étienne.”
“What do you mean? What else could I possibly have done wrong?”
“It’s the way you look at Lady Philippa.”
Étienne’s heart stilled. It was almost as if the monk could read his thoughts. Suddenly, he felt very ashamed. Could Brother Paul know how he was feeling? “What do you mean?”
“By your actions and way you act around Lady Philippa, it tells me you want to have relationships with the woman.”
“She is a beautiful, smart and charming young lady, but nothing more.”
“She is also betrothed to your brother.”
“Oui. I know that.” Étienne’s smile turned into a frown. The last few days, he had almost forgotten that he wasn’t the one betrothed to Pippa. He envied his brother and wished he were marrying her instead.
“Lord Étienne, I am sorry but I am releasing you from your commitments.”
“What the devil are you saying?” Brother Paul scowled at his choice of words. “You are dismissing me from the priory? You don’t want me to be a monk?”
“Aye, that is correct. I am releasing you and, nay, I don’t want you to become a monk.”
“I don’t know what to say.” Étienne stood up and dragged a hand through his hair in despair and frustration. He hadn’t felt so abandoned and unwanted since his father sent him to the monastery in the first place. It was never a good feeling to be rejected, but to have the church turn its back on him had to be the worst thing of all. “Where will I live? My father won’t want me back home. And what will I do? I am not a knight so no lord will take me in. Will I have to stoop so low as to hire out my sword or to become a paid assassin?”
“Nay, I wouldn’t want to see that happen to you.” Brother Paul sounded sincere and as if he really cared. “I can send a missive across the channel to your father,” offered the monk. “I will explain to your father that you are not destined for monkhood and that you should be a warrior instead.”
“I’m a noble,” Étienne ground out. “I won’t be shunned by my family as well as by my church and God.”
“I’m sorry,” apologized Brother Paul again. “There is nothing I can do. You have already broken so many of our vows that it would be futile for you to return to the church. Why don’t you go back home?”
“What for?” Étienne felt his jaw clenching again and without knowing it, his hands balled up into fists.
“To fight for what you want.” Brother Paul looked down at Étienne’s hands when he said it.
“I don’t know what I want. Ever since my mother died when I was young, I have had a hard time fitting in with my siblings and an even harder time knowing what path to follow.”
“Well, I can assure you the answer isn’t hiding behind the walls of the monastery, hoping your troubles will pass you by.”
“I wasn’t hiding.”
“Are you so sure about that? It is not my place to tell you what to do but, speaking as a friend, I think you should marry Lady Philippa.”
“You do?”
“You two are a lot alike. And I think her brother is in a similar situation with his father as you are. Don’t you see? The boy needs someone to guide him. Lady Philippa needs someone to understand her wild ways. You, out of anyone I know, would be just that person to fill both their needs.”
“Lady Philippa doesn’t need anyone. Besides, weren’t you the one who just reminded me that she is marrying my brother, Giles?”
“Aye, I stated the facts. But nothing is ever as it seems.”
“Make yourself clear, Brother Paul, because I don’t have time for games.”
The monk let out a sigh and blessed himself before continuing. “Don’t you see? Your brother is waiting for word from you that Lady Philippa is a proper lady and worthy of marrying him.”
“So, what are you suggesting? That I lie to him and tell him she is not?”
“Nay. It’s just that I heard Lady Philippa say she doesn’t want to marry Giles. And I have also seen her eyes light up whenever she is around you.”
“She doesn’t want to marry me. I don’t even think she likes me. Besides, I don’t care for Pippa or want to marry her.”
“Pippa, did you say?” The monk flashed Étienne a knowing smile. “That is such a familiar way to address a noblewoman that you don’t care for or want to marry.”
Étienne realized he was lying to a monk. Brother Paul was right. He didn’t have any business being a novice at the priory. Nay, that lifestyle did not suit him at all. “All right, I’ll admit it. I do have feelings for her, Brother Paul. I cannot deny it. But Pippa’s father would never break the alliance, and he is counting on me to convince her to marry Giles.”
“If she married you, then the baron would not be breaking an alliance with your father after all.”
“Mayhap not.” Étienne shook his head. “It doesn’t matter. Pippa would never agree to marry me. So that puts us back where we started.”
“But what if she did want to marry you?” asked Brother Paul, causing hope to swell in Étienne’s chest. Suddenly the dark cloud following him around seemed to have a silver lining. What if Pippa would want him? That would change things for him as well as for her.
“If she did . . . then I think I would like to marry her after all,” he announced to the monk.
Brother Paul smiled and folded his hands in prayer. “Then I suggest you find out how she feels about you, and you’d better do it quickly. The St. Valentine’s Day celebration is in three days’ time.”
“Why does that matter?”
“It matters for two reasons,” answered the monk. “Your brother is scheduled to arrive soon, and Lady Philippa loves St. Valentine’s Day because that is the time when she matchmakes men and women together, hoping to find the perfect pairs. Mayhap this time, she will find a match for herself instead.”
“Then I’d better hurry,” said Étienne, looking toward the door. “I need to tell her how I feel about her before she gets the silly notion to choose another man to marry.”
* * *
“Marie, was it my imagination, or was Lord Étienne staring at me throughout the entire mass?” asked Pippa, holding on to her handmaid’s arm and speaking softly so no one would hear.
“I’m not sure, my lady. I didn’t notice. Was he scowling at you?”
“Nay, just the opposite. He was looking at me in a . . . shall I say . . . romantic way.”
“Oh. Did you like that?”
“Nay. Of course not,” she lied. “The man is training to be a monk. He shouldn’t be looking at me or any other woman in a romantic way. That is very wrong!”
Marie giggled. “Even if he is going to be a monk, he is still
a man. He is not blind, my lady. I am sure thoughts go through even monks’ heads regarding women and that they cannot stop it from happening.”
“Nay. Monks don’t have thoughts about women. Not romantic thoughts.” Pippa suddenly wondered if they did, and that thought made her cringe.
“How do you know?” asked Marie as they stopped in front of the great hall.
“Well, I don’t, I guess. But they shouldn’t. It is wrong!”
“If you say so, my lady. But all I know is that when Auden looks at me in a romantic way, my heart skips a beat and I feel as if I have butterflies in my stomach.”
“Really?” Pippa released the woman’s arm and stood upright. That is exactly how she had been feeling around Étienne. Perhaps there was something wrong with her to be having thoughts of kissing a man who was soon to be a monk. She had to push those thoughts out of her head and try not to do anything to lead him on. She was sure it was a sin to want a monk. A very bad sin that would someday keep her from reaching heaven.”
“Lady Pippa,” Étienne called out, hurrying down the corridor to catch up with them. Just hearing his voice made her heart skip a beat. Instantly, she felt fluttering in her stomach.
“Did he call you Pippa?” whispered Marie.
“Aye,” she whispered back.
“Perhaps you are right about him staring at you during mass after all, my lady.”
“Please, allow me to escort you to the dais for the meal,” said Étienne, taking her hand and placing it on his forearm.
Pippa frantically looked around the corridor for her father or even a knight to escort her instead, but there was nobody there to do it but Étienne.
“I will meet you in the ladies solar later,” said Marie, heading away and leaving her alone with Étienne.
“Nay, wait,” Pippa called out, but Marie smiled and kept on going.
“Is there a reason you didn’t want your handmaid to leave?” asked Étienne.
Matchmade Hearts: Holiday Knights Series Book 2 - Valentine’s Day Page 8