Root of All Evil

by Hayden, Jennifer

  Turning her head, she took in the street people that had already set up their homes under awnings and overhangs near the crowded city sidewalk. They lay their hats on the ground in the hopes of a handout from a sympathetic passerby. Her hands closed around the small wad of dollar bills in her pocket. Karen had given her the money. She had split her small stash fifty/fifty with Kate. It was enough to get her a motel room and a meal.

  Spying a phone booth down the street, she felt an overwhelming urge. She wondered if she would be making a mistake by giving in to it. Without further thought, she walked up to the booth and skimmed through the pages of the phone book. The number was there, she discovered a moment later. She stared at it for a moment. L. Garrison, it said. Her heart pounded erratically. She looked around the street again. People walked back and forth without even noticing she was there. She was invisible. Her heart ached again.

  Reaching up, she inserted several coins into the machine and slowly dialed the number. What would she do if he answered? What would she say? One ring. Would he believe it was really her? Two rings. Would he even care anymore? After three rings, she heard a click.

  “This is Luke. Leave a message.” Click. Beep.

  Kate closed her eyes as the overwhelming emotion ate into her soul. God, it had been so long since she’d heard his voice. She had thought she’d never hear it again. But it was real. It was there and it was real. She hung up the phone and dialed again.

  This time she was surprised when the phone rang only two times before it was picked up. And this time, it wasn’t a machine.

  “Hello?” his voice asked breathlessly.

  Kate froze. She’d been unprepared to actually talk to him.

  “Hello?” he repeated, sounding slightly annoyed.

  She opened her mouth but no words would come out. Tears filled her eyes as she listened to him say hello, yet again.

  “I can hear you breathing. Why don’t you just say something or hang the hell up?”

  A moment later, he hung up instead.

  Kate stared at the phone in her shaking hand as though it were an alien being. Why hadn’t she just spoken to him? Why hadn’t she said something? Said what, she reminded herself a moment later. She was dead to him. Dejectedly, she set the phone back on the hook. What now? Go to a motel and sit by herself and cry? The idea didn’t appeal to her. Instead, she looked at the address next to Luke’s name. Karen was right; it wasn’t far from the house she had once lived in with Luke. She tore the page out of the phonebook and let it slam shut. Then she exited the booth and hailed a cab.

  The ride took a while. Traffic was still bad, even at nearly seven in the evening. There was also construction on the bridge to Magnolia and that took some time to get through. The cab driver was a nice man who looked to be in his early fifties. With graying hair and a kind face, he smiled and chit chatted all the way through mid-town. His chatter made the ride a little easier. She wasn’t thinking so much—thinking about what she was going to do once she got to Luke’s house. Thinking about what she was going to say, if anything.

  The neighborhoods in Magnolia were all well kept and most of the houses expensive. It wasn’t Mercer Island but it was up there. If she could remember right, she and Luke had paid several hundred thousand dollars for their home when they’d bought it. It had been much smaller and more modest than the houses they were passing now. She wondered what kind of house he lived in.

  “You said three-sixteen, right?” the cabbie asked.

  Kate checked the page she’d torn from the phonebook and then nodded her head. The cab was slowing down now. She could see that the houses on this street were a definite step above what she had lived in with Luke. Most of them were brick two-stories. They had large porches and enviable yards. A couple of the houses had iron fencing around them to keep out unwanted perpetrators.

  “You must have some friends,” the cabbie commented, letting out a whistle.

  “Don’t stop right in front,” she said when she saw the numbers up ahead. His would be…that one. The one on the corner. The cabbie pulled past the large brick home and came to a stop at the end of the block. She paid him quickly and climbed out, waiting until he’d driven away, to look at her husband’s home. Not her home. His home.

  She felt anxious as she observed the large brick edifice. It was nothing like the house she had lived in with him. Their house had been a modest two-story with three bedrooms and a two-car garage. This house had to be at least five bedrooms. The garage had room for three cars. The elaborately done stone driveway was long and winding. A large blue truck sat in the driveway, a smaller expensive sedan next to it. She just stood there for a long time, staring at what had become her husband’s life. It hurt—mostly because she wasn’t a part of that life.

  She tensed, noticing the front door was open, leaving only a screen door between inside and outside. He was home.

  Brushing a lock of hair back from her face, she walked down the street a ways. God, she wanted to just go up and ring the doorbell. She wanted to jump into his arms and feel safe again. She wanted to love him and have him love her back.

  Karen’s warnings kept playing themselves inside her head. She couldn’t put them in danger. Not again.

  She would just watch for a while. That was okay. As long as they didn’t see her, it was okay.

  Hearing a child’s laughter, she looked around the side of the house. A large yellow dog came bounding into the front yard. A child ran after it, in a fit of laughter. Her child, she realized seconds later. She wasn’t alone.

  Stepping back behind a large elm tree across the street, Kate observed the young woman who ran behind her daughter, laughing just as hard as the little girl had been. When she lifted Hallie into her arms and squeezed her, Kate felt something akin to jealousy, no matter how hard she tried to tamp down on it. She wondered who the woman was. She didn’t recognize her. A new kind of anxiety filled her chest and she listened as a voice called from inside the house. The woman disappeared around the house, carrying Hallie with her. A sense of emptiness settled in and Kate didn’t know what to do next. She didn’t get the chance to do much. The front screen door opened several minutes later and the woman came out on to the front lawn. Kate watched her curiously, as she headed over to lean against the large elm in the front yard. She didn’t look quite as happy as she had a few moments earlier. In fact, she looked downright sad.

  Kate’s anxiety took another dive. The screen door had opened again and this time Kate stared open mouthed, as for the first time in three years, she set her eyes on her husband. The sun poured through the branches of the tree, illuminating his dark hair as he walked across the front yard. He was wearing what she always remembered him wearing—jeans and a t-shirt. He was bigger, more muscular. His chest seemed broader, as though maybe he was working out more. He knocked the breath out of her momentarily. She’d missed him so much. As the shock of seeing him began to wear off, she realized something wasn’t right here. He was heading across the grass toward the woman. And once he reached the elm tree, she could tell they were having an intimate conversation. She knew Luke’s mannerisms. She knew his body language. He liked this woman. Feeling her heart crack down the middle, she began to face the impossible.

  The two talked for several more minutes. Her heart began to pound as she watched her husband reach for the woman’s hand. They walked toward the house together. In utter disbelief, Kate stiffened. This couldn’t be. God, no. It wasn’t possible.

  But it was, she realized a moment later as she watched her husband lean down and plant his mouth firmly against the woman’s lips. In one second, her entire world caved in on her. She wanted to throw up. Her stomach was heaving. Her chest was tightening. She didn’t know what to do. Everything had changed for her in that one instant. Suddenly she was utterly alone again.

  Luke shut the door for Sara and waited while she buckled her seatbelt. Overall, the evening had been enjoyable. They had eaten steaks with Nate, Suz and the kids. They’d watche
d a television show. They had even played a game of Candy Land, before he’d finally managed to get Hallie to allow Sara to leave. His daughter was hooked on the woman and he wasn’t sure how he felt about that.

  “Sorry about her keeping you so long,” he said, smiling halfway. “She likes you.”

  “I like her too.” Sara grinned as she started up her car. “I don’t mind. We had fun.”

  “Yeah, it was fun,” he agreed. “And again, I’m sorry about being an ass.”

  “You’re not an ass.”

  “All the same, I hope we can be friends.”

  She studied his face in a way that made him somewhat uncomfortable. “Just friends?”

  He shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “For now? Yeah. I don’t expect you to hang around forever or anything. I’m just not ready for something serious right now. My life’s a little on the complicated side.”

  She nodded her understanding. “You’re a good guy, Luke Garrison. You’re going to make some woman very happy one day.”

  He rested his elbows inside the car window as he let his eyes roam over her face. She really was cute. He grinned. “Maybe it will be you, you never know.”

  She rolled her eyes at him and put the car in gear. He backed up, folding his arms over his chest as he watched her drive away. He liked her, he decided. He was attracted to her, whether he wanted to be or not. She made him laugh and she made Hallie laugh. Why couldn’t he just jump on this?

  Because, he thought to himself. There’s still something missing. Something wasn’t right. He shook his head, once her car was out of view. He was losing his mind. Any normal, red-blooded male would have at least gone for the sex.

  Thinking about things, he guessed he wasn’t exactly normal.

  Feeling the hairs on the back of his neck raise, he turned his head, thoughts of Sara suddenly pushed aside. His eyes focused on the large elm tree across the street. He squinted for a better look. Someone was there, he discovered. Behind that tree, someone was watching him. He stood still for a moment, wondering if he should cross the street and check things out. Before he could take a step, her face came into view. She peeked out from behind the tree and their eyes locked. He squinted again, his heart beginning to pound. He blinked. She was still there. Those eyes. God, he was seeing things. He had to be.

  He heard the screen door to his house open, but didn’t turn around until Hallie hollered his name and basically launched herself into the air at him. He managed to catch her, grasping her in his arms tightly. When he turned to look back across the street there was no one there.

  Kate didn’t know how long she had walked the lonely sidewalks of Magnolia, her mind numb with pain. Darkness had moved in, in more ways than one. The temperature was dropping and it was getting cool, even though it was summer. There was a breeze blowing against her face and she was cold, she decided. She sniffled still in shock. She wished she could turn back time and erase the painful memory of seeing Luke with his woman friend. Or hell, maybe it was his wife. What had she expected? It had been three years. Three long years. He’d thought she was dead. It was only natural that he would move on.

  Her heart cracked a little further. He didn’t love her anymore. He had moved on. A tear slid down her cheek and she swiped at it. Over and over inside her head, she saw Luke kissing another woman. She saw him smiling, laughing, and acting as though he hadn’t a care in the world…with someone else. She winced at the pain in her chest. God had dealt her some cruel blows in her life, but this one had taken the cake.

  She wiped her sleeve across her running nose. She didn’t know what she was going to do now. Things had drastically changed. There was no going home to Luke—to Hallie. Her life with them wasn’t there anymore.

  “You’re nuts, you know that?”

  Kate jumped as the car whipped up to the curb and the voice came through the window. Karen sat in the driver’s seat, a cigarette dangling from her lips. “Don’t just stand there. Get in.” She cursed, shaking her head as she waited for Kate to climb into the car. “I knew you’d do it. I knew you’d come here. I’m too late, aren’t I?”

  Kate slid silently into the passenger seat, thankful for the warmth away from the wind. And, thankful that she was no longer on her own again.

  “I wish you had listened to my advice, Katie.”

  Kate didn’t say anything. Her voice was gone. Over and over, she kept seeing Luke kissing someone else. It was like a bad re-run on television. It wouldn’t go away.

  “I told you not to mess with things, didn’t I? I told you to wait until things died down with Louis before you came up here.”

  “He has someone else,” Kate said in a whisper. Dead silence was Karen’s response. Then she let out a whoosh of breath.

  “God, Kate are you sure?”

  “I saw them. They were kissing.”

  Karen let out a vile curse. She reached for the pack of cigarettes that lay on the dashboard. “Here, honey. You need these more than I do.”

  Kate ignored her.

  Sighing, Karen tossed the smokes back on the dash. “You could have misunderstood the situation,” she said softly. “I mean how close were you really? Maybe it was his sister-in-law or something.”

  Ignoring the suggestion, Kate turned and looked at Karen. “What are you doing here? I thought you were going someplace hot and dry.”

  “I’ve got a damned soft spot for you. The thought of you alone in this big old city turned me around and brought me back.” She tossed a sympathetic glance Kate’s way. “Lucky for you.”

  Kate turned back to the window and watched as they made their way slowly out of Luke’s neighborhood. Most likely they were making their way out of his life.

  “So what now, Katie?”

  “I don’t know. What can I do? It’s been three years. He’s moved on.” The words sliced at her, as the realization of the truth hit home.

  “Even if he does have someone else, you still have your daughter. That will never change.”

  “You said yourself, she doesn’t know me.”

  “Not now she doesn’t. She will though, right? I mean when all this is over.”

  “Which is when?” Kate asked softly.

  Karen apparently didn’t have an answer for that.

  “I don’t know why I didn’t expect this.”

  “Because you’re a hopeless romantic, Betty Davis. And because he’s the love of your life.”

  Somehow that didn’t make Kate feel any better.

  “He doesn’t know the truth, Kate.”

  “It’s been too long. The truth doesn’t matter.”

  “Doesn’t it? Things seem dismal right now, Kate. We’ll work this out. Don’t worry. I’m not going anywhere until we do.”

  EIGHT

  By the time Kate and Karen checked into the Motel 6 again it was after eleven. They were both exhausted, though Kate was determined to fight the sleep she so often found herself dreading. Dreaming of Luke tonight was not something she could handle.

  She stared at the dirty tile in the shower stall, as hot, steamy water poured over her body. The shower felt good. She hadn’t realized how long it had been since she’d been able to relax and clean up. Sticking her face under the water, she let it pour over her skin, wishing it would wash away her depression. Unfortunately, when she turned off the water, her sadness was still there. With every minute that passed, it seemed to grow more and more potent. She breathed deeply, walking over to the mirror and wiping the steam away. Staring at her reflection only made her anxiety worse. She looked like death itself. Her hair, still scraggly from the chop Louis had given her, hung in wet jagged swirls around her face. It was uneven all over. Some strands hung below her shoulders, others were cropped above them. Her once vibrant brown eyes now had black circles under them. Her cheeks were sunken and pale from all the weight she had lost. She barely recognized herself.

  Walking over to the toilet, she hunkered down and let her head rest in her hands. The tears were uncontr
ollable and the panic she felt was overwhelming. She rocked herself back and forth, praying as hard as she could, though she didn’t know exactly what for. She heard a knock at the door, but ignored it. Nothing could help her now. She had once thought that being a prisoner was the cruelest, most horrible form of punishment a person could live through. She knew differently now. This was much, much worse.

  “Kate?” Karen opened the bathroom door and stepped inside. She flipped the fan on before walking over and kneeling down in front of Kate. Kate’s distress was evident, and Karen sighed sympathetically. “Katie, you have to pull yourself together here. I know things look real bad right now, but they will get better.”

  “He has someone else,” Kate said, sobs wracking her body. “He has someone else.”

  Karen reached for Kate’s hands and squeezed them tightly. “He doesn’t know the truth, Kate. What he’s living is a lie. It’s up to you to change that.”

  Kate just shook her head back and forth.

  “Then what? What are you going to do, give him up without a fight? Are you just going to let her have him and chalk up your losses again? Aren’t you getting tired of being the pathetic one?”

  Kate’s sobs quieted somewhat but she still didn’t speak.

  “Listen. If you two were in love the way you say you were, things will work out. Destiny is destiny, right? You can’t just give up on it without a fight.” Karen grabbed a towel off the counter and handed it to Kate. “Dry off. We have some plans to make.”

  Luke sat up, sweat dripping down his face. His eyes wouldn’t focus. Everything around him was blurry and seemed misplaced. Where was he? Inside his head, he heard her voice over and over and over again. Help me, help me, help me. He covered his ears with his hands, fighting back the urge to scream. Hallie was in her room sleeping. He didn’t want to scare her. He had to calm down.

  Leaning his elbows on his raised knees, he let his head fall between them. He breathed deeply several times before he allowed his head to rise again. This time his bedroom came into focus clearly. Everything was as it should be.