Each of them has deep reservoirs of passion, self-indulgence, entitlement and aggression, which have brought them to this pass. While no one fears for Meghan’s survival, many of Harry’s loved ones are terrified as to what will happen to him should the limb that he has climbed on, with Meghan’s active cooperation, snap off. ‘The prospect is too dreadful to contemplate,’ a princess told me. ‘There are some words that one does not even want to think of, much less utter.’ The fear, that Harry could entirely lose the plot, maybe even damage himself irretrievably, but no matter what be utterly destroyed as a personality, is what is behind the latitude which has been granted the couple.
Both Harry and Meghan have been frank about being people who have experienced deep emotional pain. Although both have laid the blame at obvious doorsteps - his at his mother’s death, hers at her racial identity - their critics have some justification in maintaining that such suffering as they have endured is no excuse at this stage of their lives. Despite having lost his mother at nearly thirteen, Harry has had more advantages than most. Many other youngsters who have lost a parent do not ask for a free pass on the grounds of such a loss, so why, the reasoning goes, should a prince of the most eminent royal family in the world be accorded one? And Meghan’s anguish was born of the pain of someone used to instant gratification being forced to develop patience and exercise it the way less spoilt people have had to do since early childhood.
Of course, if Meghan is prone to self-dramatisation, her suffering would still be heart-felt. Recent studies have shown that there is little psychological difference between the effect of real and false memories, so someone who lies to himself and others about having suffered as a result of an incident he invented, ends up being almost as badly off emotionally as someone who actually lived through the experience. This is a lesson Meghan should have learnt, for she was effusive on her blog about how effective self-hypnosis was when she was telling herself that she was a booker. If she failed to understand that blaming her race for failures which had nothing to do with it would somehow spare her the consequences of a suffering she had never experienced, she has lived to experience pain which is really of her own creation. As there is the suspicion that Meghan used the pain of a prejudice she had never experienced to gain the admiration of people she sought to impress, in the process turning herself from spoilt woman of colour into a brave battler for human rights, such suffering as she now feels leaves her detractors cold, for they regard it as the just deserts of a self-promoting fantasist. Self-created or not, her pain is nevertheless genuine, as is Harry’s, which, even his critics concede, was anything but self-generated.
This shared bond of pain seems to have permitted Harry and Meghan to become caught up in mythological struggles, he against a murderous press who were never responsible for the death he seeks to lay at their doorstep, she against a racist and hostile world which is meant to have spurned her when her race was the one thing which never played a factor in the process. They are both trapped in a cauldron of pain, but they are laying blame fruitlessly when the solution to their problems lies in entirely different and more positive directions.
Pain or no pain, Meghan and Harry are a double act who protect themselves using any resource at their disposal. To date, their associates have thrown her father, his brother, his sister-in-law, even his ‘naysaying’ grandmother under the bus. Whether they are responsible for these veiled attacks, or they only benefit from them but do not actually set others up to launch them on their behalf, the fact that they do not dissociate themselves from the stories, while creaming in the benefits, leaves a mystery as to their level of knowledge and involvement. Responsible or not, they nevertheless hide behind a rich arsenal of aggressive supporters who do not flinch from attacking on their behalf, and the aim of each attack is always to preserve them while burying everyone else under a fusillade. This was also a game Diana played, and, as this is the absolute opposite of how the royals function, Harry and Meghan need to take responsibility and discourage their friends and associates from playing such a nasty, destructive game.
Quite how destructive it can be was driven home to me in the most forceful way when I received an uninvited tip-off which I was asked to accept, whether justly or unjustly is another matter entirely, had emanated from Harry himself. Presumably there was the hope or expectation that my sympathies would be engaged, and, since I was already known to be an impartial commentator who was rooting for them but questioned the advisability of some of Meghan’s conduct, I had to conclude that they or someone close to them was trying to shape the narrative on their behalf.
It has been no secret in royal and aristocratic circles that I was writing this book. The cooperation that I have received, as can be seen from the content of this work, was so comprehensive that I was catapulted back nearly three decades, to when I was writing my Diana biographies. As January 2020 was coming to an end, history repeated itself in a wholly unwelcome but enlightening way. After Britain’s Channel 5 aired its interview with Thomas Markle, in which he made it clear that he loved his daughter and was distraught at the loss of their relationship, and was perplexed as to the reason why she refused to get in touch with him, I received a telephone call from an extremely eminent, well-connected aristocrat who has a direct connection to Harry through one of his closest friends. Did I want to know the real reason why Meghan had had to sever ties with her father? Of course I did.
A song and dance then ensued with the informant asserting that the truth was so awful that she could not possibly bring herself to utter the words. I had to point out that a writer cannot consider, much less use, an allegation that is not spelt out clearly. I was then informed that Harry himself believed the information to be true, as if that would somehow mitigate for something that was so mysteriously awful that it could not be put into words. Yet I was supposed to write it.
I was then invited to guess what was the worst thing that a daughter could have against her father. Not being a simpleton or three years old, I immediately cottoned onto where this was going, but still refused to be drawn, pointing out that a responsible author does not guess but relies upon information that is freely imparted. After the most tremendous palaver, the informant then managed to spit out the odious word ‘interference’. I asked what the word meant in that context, and was left in no doubt as to what it did mean.
I am terribly sorry, but anyone with scruples or a heart, invited to accuse a man whose daughter was full of praise for his parenting skills only weeks before she met her prince, would have to be low indeed to give credence to such a debased piece of information. I felt duty-bound to point out to the informant that Harry could not possibly believe any such thing. If he did, it meant that he accepted that Meghan was a brazen liar who had fabricated a truly loving father to impress the readers of her blog as well as everyone else with how worthy she was of the love of such a wonderful man. Either that, or she was lying now, or someone had mischievously made up the whole thing to gain my sympathy.
That certainly cast me right back to the bad old days of the 1990s, when bizarre stories were invented which had so many permutations that their objective was frequently obscure, though their source was as transparent as the freshly cleaned glass at Kensington Palace.
Of course, one must acknowledge the possibility that Harry might not, despite appearances to the contrary, have known anything about the telephone call. Notwithstanding the fact that he was in Britain at the time, this could well have been a coincidence. His friend, knowing that I am neither a supporter nor a detractor, could have been trying to influence the narrative in such a way that I would be tempted to look more favourably upon Meghan’s treatment of her father. One must always keep an open mind until all the evidence is in, but when the wind is blowing strongly in a certain direction, the weather vane naturally registers that fact.
It looks increasingly unlikely that Meghan and Harry will be returning to live in Britain any time soon, if ever again. All the indications are that they will rema
in in the United States. Whether they will make the big bucks they are aiming for is another matter. They might well do so, though there is also every possibility that they might make less than they hoped. Either way, Meghan has destroyed her acceptability within the British Establishment in a way no one else has done since Diana Wales slit her own throat while spewing out her bile to Martin Bashir in the hope that she would deprive Charles of his right to the throne. From then until her death, most doors, including within her own family, were shut to her. Even before that, she had become so marginalised that she was playing serious catch-up with people she had fallen out with, including me.
Harry falls into another category. While there is no doubt that Harry has damaged his reputation by decamping, should he need to return to live in Britain, he will be reincorporated with dignity and even compassion. But reputation in Britain is like a beautifully wrought glass vase. Once it’s broken, even if it’s repaired and looks okay, it doesn’t ever hold water the way it used to. Its fundamental function being altered, it has less value. Harry’s glory days are over as a public figure in Britain, not only because he abandoned his post, but because too many people have voiced the opinion that he is ‘weak’, ‘pussywhipped’, and ‘pathetic’.
The speculation continues as to whether Meghan and Harry’s marriage will last. As stated earlier, from the very outset, people at the palace were taking bets as to whether they would give it two or five years. Even Germaine Greer waded in, hoping that Meghan’s professions of love were sincere. I too hope they are, for there is no doubt in my mind that Harry genuinely loves her and will be heartbroken if she turns out to be a mirage instead of the oasis he believes her to be.
I know as a fact that Harry’s family is hoping the marriage lasts but will not be taking any bets on it. Privately, they have reeled from the way Meghan has influenced Harry into withdrawing from his birthright. Royalty is like a secular religion. You do not become an apostate without earning the disapproval of all true believers. Nor could even the most open minded family have a high opinion of anyone who caused a beloved family member’s departure, and the fact is that their opinions reflect their loss.
Even the Queen, who is the most anodyne of all of them, has expressed her displeasure in no uncertain terms. She has many friends, and she has been forthright in expressing her viewpoint. I have been told by two separate and utterly reliable sources that she feels that Meghan’s demeanour has been only a cut above a floozy’s and her conduct has been no better than a strumpet’s. That does not mean that she regards Meghan as either a floozy or a strumpet, but simply as someone whose sense of obligation, responsibility, and self-aggrandisement is reminiscent of a category of woman who is out for herself in a way that other women would not be. These remarks by no means compare with Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother’s description of the Duchess of Windsor as the lowest of the low, but they do show how disappointed and hurt even the Queen has been by Harry and Meghan’s stepping back.
Despite this, the Queen’s policy is to keep the door open for them to return to the royal fold if they want to, and if they do not (as seems likely, at least where Harry is concerned for the duration of the marriage), to maintain enough of a publicly approving profile for them to be included in the occasional event. Her ideal scenario is for Harry and Meghan to make infrequent appearances when they come back to the UK, or for them to represent her in some Commonwealth capacity from time to time, thereby delivering the message to the world that all is well and Harry, Meghan and Archie, who remain ‘beloved members of the family’. This show of harmony is the ultimate aim, for no one seriously expects Meghan and Harry to resume their place in the chorus line of royal theatrics. Intermittent displays of acceptance as they float across the stage will also endow them with just enough respectability for them to become what they truly want to be: commercial operatives at the highest level. But the royals and their advisors are aware that the true beneficiaries of this policy will be Harry and Meghan. Any patina of acceptability will benefit them far more than it does the Royal Family, whose prestige will remain undented no matter what happens to theirs.
There is little doubt that the family regrets Harry and Meghan’s departure, and minds awfully the manner of and motive for the departure. Financial independence when you’re worth tens of millions does not strike people who take their duties seriously as a good enough reason to chuck away a life of service and privilege for one of hustling for real money and Kardashian-style fame. Yet the family understands that there is nothing they can do to influence a couple hell bent on doing things their own way.
Hopefully, Meghan and Harry will prove their critics wrong. Hopefully they will do sterling humanitarian work, earn money nobly, and ultimately she might even realise her ambition of becoming President of the United States of America. Hopefully they will resolve their dilemma where privacy is concerned. Hopefully, they will make a genuine success of their lives, not only by demonstrating how adept they are at acquiring fame and fortune, but in fulfilling the high hopes of the hundreds of millions, maybe even billions, of people of colour who looked up to Meghan as a beacon of hope when she first became Duchess of Sussex.
Meghan and Harry have struck out onto a new path. I for one hope they make a success of it. If I were a betting woman, I would not be giving any odds, because Heraclitus put it better than I ever could: Character is destiny. The harbingers are so mixed that the only thing I will predict with any certainty is that Meghan and Harry will be ensuring that today, tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year, their actions will keep them at the forefront of everyone’s attention.
Trevor Engelson was the tall, brash, brawny movie producer who became Meghan’s first husband. They were so in love that she used to tell her best friend Nikki Priddy that she would not survive if anything happened to him. Then she outgrew him.
Before competitiveness and jealousy tore the Fab Four apart, there were high hopes that they would become the new and exciting face of monarchy. Here they are, two months before the wedding, introducing Meghan as the latest member of the Royal Foundation under the theme Making a Difference Together. Only Prime Minister Boris Johnson’s sister Rachel struck a discordant note, stating, ‘I fear Meghan’s a bit out of tune already’.
In the run-up to the wedding, Thomas Markle Sr was humiliated by the tabloids and ill-advisedly tried to restore his dignity by cooperating with a paparazzo. Exposure would lead to two heart attacks and his daughter and son-in-law, whom he has yet to meet, severing contact with him.
Tom ‘Wingman’ Inskip was one of Harry’s oldest and closest until he tried to dissuade Harry from rushing into marriage. Meghan ensured that he and his wife Lara, seen here walking to St. George’s Chapel, suffered for the slight, though they would later get their own back.
CBS TV talk-show host and comedian James Corden and his TV producer wife Julia Carey were two of the many high-profile acquaintances asked by the royal couple to their wedding.
The inimitable Oprah Winfrey was another of the heavy-hitters from the world of entertainment who were asked in preference to family, causing Meghan’s biographer Andrew Morton to observe that the guest list was a ‘career move’.
Doria Ragland was a huge hit with the public as well as the Royal Family for her quiet and dignified manner, but she cut a very lonely figure at her daughter’s wedding, being the only representative of the bride’s family. Seen here descending the steps of St. George’s Chapel with the Prince of Wales and Duchess of Cornwall after the ceremony.
The official photographs were taken by another prince, Alexi Lubomirski, inside Windsor Castle. Here the couple is surrounded by: back row Jasper Dyer, Camilla, Charles, Doria Ragland, William; middle row Brian Mulroney, Prince Philip, the Queen, Catherine Cambridge, her children Charlotte and George, Rylan Litt, John Mulroney; front row Ivy Mulroney, Florence van Cutsem, Zalie Warren, and Remi Litt.
The Queen asked the newly-wed Meghan to accompany her on a typical away day series of engagements. The
normally deadpan monarch was noticeably responsive as she interacted with her vivacious granddaughter-in-law, but behind the scenes trouble was already brewing, as astute observers would have noted from Meghan’s attire.
Harry and Meghan were now one of the world’s most glamorous couples, and their presentation became all important. Here they are at their first Trooping the Colour, Harry in uniform and Meghan in a stylish, off-the-shoulder Carolina Herrera cocktail suit with a Philip Treacy hat.
Meghan, in Dior couture cocktail wear with a Stephen Jones hat, had pride of place beside the Queen on the Buckingham Palace balcony to view the flypast celebrating the 100th anniversary of the Royal Air Force in July 2018. Here she is with l to r: Princes Charles, Andrew, Camilla, the Queen, Harry, William and Catherine.
Meghan’s habit of keeping her hands on her bump came in for so much comment that Harry approached Prince Charles and the Queen and tried to get them to muzzle the critics.
Master Archie Mountbatten-Windsor was officially two days old when his proud parents presented him to the public in a carefully orchestrated news conference at Windsor Castle, following which they introduced him to his delighted great-grandparents, whose regret is that they have not been given the chance to see as much of the baby as they would have liked. (l-r) Prince Philip, Harry, the Queen, Doria Ragland, and Meghan holding the baby.
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