Had she made his life more complicated, more troublesome?
An awkward pause occurred as they looked into each other’s eyes for a moment. At the last he bent and kissed her on the cheek.
“Farewell, my dear. I will be off tomorrow long before you rise so I will say my goodbyes now. I’ve already bid both Alice and Beatrice farewell.”
She touched his arm, her heart breaking. Once again he was to leave her.
Taking a fortifying breath, she stepped aside and let him depart. It was what their arrangement called for. No strings, no attachments, and most of all, no demands.
The fact that her heart screamed at her was beside the point. She could do no less.
.o0o.
Alexander examined the barc with a critical eye. She’d be fast. He demanded no less. The American’s had developed a new design that seemed to fly through the water. A clipper ship they called it. He’d convinced the yard to build him one. Made from the strongest English oak it would be able to stand up to any wind.
Speed was the name of the game in the shipping business.
Yes, she’d be fast. And she’d bare the name of his Caroline.
His mind balked. When had she become his Caroline? Since when did he spend the day thinking about the way a woman felt in his arms? The smooth skin of her hips. The way she moaned deep in her throat. The way Lavender and Rose could mix to form such an enticing aroma.
“So, she’s beautiful, isn’t she?” His shipping agent said.
“Yes, she is,” Alexander answered before realizing the man was talking about the ship and not his wife. He really must get his mind right. It wouldn’t do to be thinking of Caroline all the time.
His insides turned over with a touch of fear. Was he becoming attached to her? The beauty of their agreement was that he needn’t become attached. That he didn’t have to worry about her happiness. He could live his life as he had always done.
So why did he find himself wondering what she was doing? Why did he worry about her? Why couldn’t he forget the way she felt under him?
It wasn’t only the physical effects. He liked the woman. Her strength, her ability to enjoy the simple pleasures of life. He liked the way she didn’t press him for more.
So why do you want to give her more, he wondered. What was it about her that made him want to make her laugh? Want to make her happy.
He shook off the thought and focused on what the man was saying. Describing the ship’s clean lines. The improvements they had made to the American’s designs.
Focus, Alexander said to himself. But no matter what, he couldn’t put aside the realization that he would be returning to Armherst without her. His stomach clenched and his heart felt as if it were heavy with remorse.
Marriage was not supposed to be like this, he said to himself. It was supposed to be easy, carefree. That was the whole idea. No emotions. No drama. A simple arrangement.
“… Lady Caroline?” The man said.
Why was his agent talking of his wife? It took him a moment to realize the man was speaking about the new name for the ship.
“Yes, Lady Caroline. And I wanted it painted big and boldly on the stern. I want every captain out there to know who has left them behind. To know who is beating them in the race for new trade.”
The agent laughed and nodded. “Yes, My Lord. We will make her a name to be remembered.”
Yes, the Viscount thought. A name to be remembered. Unfortunately, her namesake was unable to be forgotten. He feared she would haunt his dreams.
Chapter Nineteen
Caroline checked the girl’s appearance for the seventh time. They were both dressed in new day dresses. Alice in a light lavender that went well with her chestnut locks. Beatrice wore a warm green that matched her strawberry blond coloring.
Amy had performed miracles with their hair. Making them look older. No longer mere girls fresh from the schoolroom.
Her heart squeezed with love at the sight of them. Both were beautiful and distinct in their own way. They would take the ton by storm next year, she thought with pride.
It was important that Ann be impressed. They would need Alexander’s sister’s support for a successful launch of her sisters.
“Really Caroline. We look fine. Relax,” Alice said.
“Yes, it’s only Alexander’s sister. Not the Queen of England after all,” Beatrice said as she rolled her eyes.
Caroline bit her tongue to stop herself from saying what she really wanted to say. Instead, she brushed a small piece of dust from Alice’s shoulder and shook her head. They would never understand.
The door opened and Johnson stepped into the room. Her heart jumped, was she early. Caroline glanced at the mantle clock. Lady Southwell wasn’t expected for another half hour. Could she be here already?
Johnson bowed as he presented a silver tray with a card placed in its center.
“This just arrived My Lady. A street urchin.” He said as he shot her a worried frown.
Her heart jumped into her throat as she looked at the letter. It appeared to be the same stock as the last note. Her hands trembled slightly as she removed it from the tray and thanked Johnson.
Fighting the urge to run, she turned away from the girl and walked to her desk for a letter opener.
“All right girls. Go see if Cook is ready with the cakes. I will let you know when she arrives. And Johnson. Thank you.”
The girls immediately exited before their older sister could change her mind. Johnson, however, lingered for a moment. Studying his employer. His eyes narrowed in concern, but he held off saying anything. Instead, he bowed and exited also.
She was alone. Alone to face the note. Taking a deep breath, she slid the blade of the opener under the blank wax seal.
Again no hint of the sender. But her heart knew that it was the same as the last. Another note to remind her of how precarious her world rested. A wrong word into the wrong person’s ear and any hope of happiness would be lost forever.
Letting her breath out slowly she opened the note.
“You must atone for your father’s sins.”
Nothing more. Her stomach fell as a sick sense of worry washed through her. Who could be sending this? What did they mean atone? Why?
Going to her writing desk she removed the first note. She had worried about saving it at first. Afraid that Alexander might come across it and question her. How could she ever reveal her father’s secret to him.
But she had feared there might be more than one note and wanted the ability to compare and contrast.
Yes, it was most definitely the same hand. The same person.
Why were they doing this to her? What had her father done? Was it even worse than she feared?
The soft knock at the door startled her.
“Lady Southwell,” Johnson announced as he stepped aside to allow a tall, stately woman to enter.
Caroline quick stashed the notes into a desk drawer and came to greet her guest. The woman was much too young to be a widow. Her heart went out to her. Which was worse. Losing a husband so young or being trapped in a loveless match.
The Countess wore a pink dress with lace at both the collar and cuffs. Her blond hair was up. Held in place with an intricately carved tortoise shell comb.
Everything about the woman spoke of elegance, grace, and high standing. This was a woman who knew how to tell the world that she was in charge. There would be no discussion. She expected full compliance.
She examined Caroline for a moment. Their eyes judging each other like prize fighters preparing to enter the ring.
Caroline’s heart raced. Alexander’s sister. She so wanted the other woman to approve. The last thing she needed was Alexander having one more reason to regret the marriage.
“Lady Beachmont,” The woman said with a slight nod.
“Lady Southwell,” Caroline replied with a slight curtsy. “Welcome, Please won’t you join me?” she said indicating the parlor chairs.
Lady Southwell imperiously sat in the in
dicated chair. Her small smile of thanks didn’t help Caroline determine what the other woman was thinking. Just like her brother, impossible to read.
“Johnson, please tell my sisters of our guest’s arrival and we will have tea.”
“Yes My Lady,” he said as he backed away.
“Johnson,” Lady Southwell said as she removed her gloves. “How are you finding London? Are you enjoying your new position? It must be nice to no longer be running constant errands for my brother.” Her eyes examined the butler as if daring him to lie to her.
Caroline wondered if the woman had put her butler on the spot like that just to establish her prior relationship. In one simple sentence, she reminded Caroline of her newness to the family. While she, herself, had been born to the role of a lady.
The butler smiled. “I am enjoying my new position very much My Lady. Countess Beachmont knows how to run a house. Life here is much easier than Armherst.”
Lady Southwell laughed and seemed to relax.
The butler held the older woman’s stare for a moment. Caroline wondered at his choice of words. Was he telling her guest that he approved of his new employer and that she should take that into account?
As the door closed behind him, Lady Southwell turned and smiled gently and said, “It seems you have won Johnson’s approval. That speaks very highly of you.”
Her heart swelled with thanks for her servant. “What would I ever do without Johnson I do not know,” she said.
The woman held her words for a moment then allowed her shoulders to relax.
“I wanted to offer my congratulations on wedding my brother,” she said. “At the same time, I wanted to offer my condolences. Being married to Alexander must not be easy.”
Caroline recognized the olive branch, but she could not allow any criticism of Alexander. “Oh, My Lady. I assure you. Lord Beachmont is a most excellent husband. No woman could be happier.”
Lady Southwell smirked. “You mean like not informing the Times, or even his own sister, that he had married.”
Caroline blushed. “I said he was an excellent husband. That does not mean he is without flaws, My Lady.”
Lady Southwell barked out a laugh. “So right my dear. So right.”
The two women studied each other for a moment. Neither willing to make the first move. Caroline knew that as the younger member of the family, it was up to her to show deference. But she refused to do so if it meant degrading her husband. Besides. If Lady Southwell was anything like her brother. Weakness would be the last thing she desired to see.
At last Lady Southwell capitulated.
“I think my dear. That you should call me Ann and I will call you Caroline. We are to be sisters after all.”
“I would like that,” Caroline said.
“Besides,” Ann continued. “It will take the both of us if you ever hope to tame my brother.”
Caroline’s throat tightened, what did Ann know? Had he written to her about their arrangement?
“So tell me, Caroline,” Ann continued. “How did you get my brother to fall in love with you so fast? It is not like him.”
Swallowing hard Caroline could only stare at the other woman. What had he said? She could not allow Ann to be mistaken. Not a member of the family. The only way this would work is if she knew the truth.
“I am sorry, My Lady … Ann, I think you should know. That your brother married me only to rescue myself and my sisters. It was not a love match.”
“Oh, I know all about that. Believe me. I have my spies at Armherst. I know the entire story. The river rescue, Dorset. All of it. That is not what I asked.”
Caroline’s shoulders tingled with relief. She knew about their arrangement. “Well, if you know, then you know that your brother did not marry out of any sense of love. He did so out of the kindness of his heart.”
Ann laughed. Scooting back into her chair. “Oh dear, you really don’t know my brother. He never has, in his entire life, done anything that he didn’t want to do. There is no way he married you unless it was very important to him.”
Caroline’s heart skipped. Could it be true? Did he really care for her?
“You do realize,” Ann continued. “The reason he didn’t inform me of the marriage was because he was afraid I would try to stop it. That this marriage was that important to him.”
“I am sorry that you are unhappy with our marriage, My Lady,” Caroline said. “I assure you. I will do everything in my power to make your brother happy. I may be from humble beginnings, but I can promise. I will bring you and your family no shame.”
A brief memory of the notes in her writing desk flashed into her mind. She swallowed hard and prayed she hadn’t spoken to early.
“Oh, my dear,” Ann said with a relaxed smile about her eyes. “You misunderstood. I am not unhappy about your marriage. I’m overjoyed in fact. I feared he would never find someone to care about.”
“Ann, I think you are reading too much into this. I assure you. Ours is a marriage in name only.”
Ann smiled and reached over to gently pat Caroline’s knee. “Caroline, listen to me. I know my brother. I could read between the lines of his letter. Trust me. If he is not already in love with you, he soon will be. And it is our job to make sure it happens.”
The conspiratorial look she flashed Caroline made her feel a sense of hope. For the first time since he had left days ago, Caroline felt as if there might be a chance for happiness.
Before she could answer the door was opened to allow a maid bearing the tea service. Her two sisters followed closely behind. She would have to settle for pleasant conversation. At least until she could get Ann alone.
Was there a chance. Could she make Alexander feel for her as she felt for him? Could such a man love her? The thought sent a warm tingle throughout her body.
The mere idea of loving and being loved. It was enough to make a woman melt with happiness.
.o0o.
The next two weeks passed quickly as Caroline settled into the ton. She attended a tea at The Duchess Bathurst’s. Shopped with Arabella, and a ball at Lady Simpson’s with Ann.
Things were going well, Caroline thought Except for the fact that each and every day she felt a burning hole in her existence. Her arms ached to hold Alexander.
She found herself thinking of their time together. Remembering the feel of him. The way his voice sounded when he was happy. Even the way he read a newspaper from front to end without stopping.
Everything seemed to remind her of him. The other day she had been coming out of chocolatier when a man had passed. The brief scent of sandalwood and washed over her bringing her back to their last night together.
Another note about her father had been delivered yesterday.
Someone Must Pay
It had said. Nothing more. It now lay with its mates in her desk drawer. There was nothing more she could do. No action she could take. She ensured the girls were well protected. The house was secure, Johnson made sure of it.
A small pang of guilt passed through her. Should she tell Alexander? No, this was her problem. What could he do anyway? Until they became more specific. No, she would deal with this herself. Besides, the thought of telling Alexander sent a shudder through her body.
Thoughts of Alexander always affected her body. Whether it was desire or fear. The man seemed to impact every aspect of her thoughts.
Chapter Twenty
Caroline smiled at Lady Arabella in thanks. Another shopping spree was exactly what she needed. Last week’s had been so successful that Arabella had suggested another.
She seemed to enjoy the girls. Had taken an active interest in their hopes and desires. Questioning, teasing, and laughing. Caroline gave up a silent prayer of thanks to Alexander for having helped her find such a good friend.
“Thank you again, Arabella. We enjoyed ourselves so much last week. I am so grateful for your help. You know everything. I never would have found that Milner.”
“Yes, Lady Arabella, T
hank you,” Alice said as she adjusted the new hat the good lady had just purchased for her.
“Oh, it is nothing I assure you. With Somerset so busy at the Foreign Office. I am desperate for some fun. And let’s be honest. Is there anything more enjoyable than shopping?”
The girls laughed.
“Is your husband heavily involved with the government?” Caroline asked.
“Yes, unfortunately. But he feels drawn to service. I shouldn’t complain. But he works such long hours and must travel. Next month he is off to France.”
“And he’s not taking you with him?” Beatrice asked in shock. The idea of missing an opportunity to visit Paris was unthinkable to the girl.
Arabella laughed. “Yes, but then it is only for a little while. I am thinking of having a dinner party when he returns. Nothing formal. Maybe the girls could attend.” She said to Caroline.
Both young girls bolted upright, their eyes pleading with their older sister.
Caroline hid a smile. “We will see. It might do them good. Slowly introduce them to the world of society.”
“I agree,” Lady Arabella said, obviously pleased
The carriage came to rest.
“Here we are,” Caroline said. “Arabella, you are going to love this place. It has the best chocolate in the city. I found it only last week.”
The four women exited the carriage onto the busy sidewalk. Gathering themselves they prepared to enter the small shop.
“My reticule,” Alice exclaimed as she searched the ground for her lost purse.
Caroline shook her head. Alice was always losing something. She’d misplace her head if it weren't attached.
“I’m sure you left it in the carriage. Hurry, we will meet you inside,” Caroline said. The soft smell of chocolate pulled at her. It was her vice. That enchanting taste that seemed to melt her problems away. At least for a few minutes she could become lost in a world of bliss.
She followed Beatrice and Arabella into the store. She wanted to show them the special dark chocolate she had tasted last week. The bitterness mixed with sweetness had been special.
A small squeal on the street had her turn her head in time to see Alice being pulled into an alley. Caroline’s heart exploded into panic.
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