Aphrodite’s Reject:
You Can’t Lay Off Love
A Short Story by Mairsile
Aphrodite’s Reject: You Can’t Lay Off Love
© 2014-15 by Mairsile. All Rights Reserved.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, events and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
This book, or parts thereof, may not be reproduced in any form, without written permission.
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Okay. So if you know who I am, then you know, I know my stuff. Yes, I know I could add another ‘know’ in that sentence, but let’s move on. If you don’t know who I am, why not? Oh, all right, my name is Abderus, and before you ask, because my name means friend of Hercules, no, I do not know the man. I do know Aphrodite though, but I’m not her friend. In fact, I’ve been hiding from the goddess of love, for centuries now. I’m one of her rejects… sigh. But I still have a job to do, and I do it well. I pave the way for loves embrace. I’m a love guardian.
Well enough about me…, for now. Let’s talk about my next match‒making rescue, to divert a disaster of epic proportions. Well, not really epic, but what the world needs now is love. Am I right? Of course I am. Don’t even bother answering that question. It’s never too late to fall in love, no matter your age. I’ve got two old geezers, uh, I mean in prime of their life women, who have loved and lost, and loved and lost…, and loved and lost, so many times that they’ve all but given up.
All right, all right. I apologize. Yes that is a first for me, mark it down. The women are only in their fifties, it’s not like they have one foot in the grave, or anything. So let’s watch as our first contestant enters the room.
There she is now. Sally, that’s her name, Sally Rogers, lives in Hot Springs, Arkansas. Arkansas is a quaint little southern state, that produces a number of fine movie stars. Why, did you know that Alan Ladd and Billy Bob Thornton, were both born in Hot Springs? Oh, and let’s not forget Roger Clinton. Yes, he’s the president’s brother, but he’s also an actor from Hot Springs. Must be something in the hot spring water there.
So anyway, Sally is fifty‒five years old, and still a…, I mean, she is a real looker. The woman oozes sex out of every pore on her body, and she doesn’t even know it. Why, I may need a cold shower, after telling you that she has chestnut hair, large, hazel eyes, high cheekbones, full lips, a long tongue…, oh! Sorry about that, my mind wandered for a minute. To continue, Sally is small boned, with just a hint of secretary’s butt on her rear, though she is not a secretary. She is in fact the accounting department director, at the local hospital. Well, let’s say she was the director, for twenty years. Apparently in today’s economy, loyal service of over twenty years, means squat to over paid, under worked executives. Now remember, I had nothing to do with this, but I promise you, Sally will come out the better for it. Let’s listen in.
“Sally, come in. Here, take a seat.” Robert Taylor, vice president of finance, offered her a chair, “Can I get you a drink?”
“Um, no thanks. What’s this about, Mr. Taylor?”
“I’ll let Rita tell you.”
Hey, it’s me again. For those of you who have been laid off, I’m sure you’ve guessed that Rita is from HR, and has to do Taylor’s dirty work for him, the bastard.
“Sally, I’m so sorry. Your position is being eliminated. They are contracting out most of the jobs in your department, including yours, and will leave only a few people here to handle the walk‒ins.” Rita waited for Sally to inhale again, before she continued, “They’d like to, um, I mean we’re offering you a choice between two options. You can leave today, and come back over the weekend to pack up your things. Or, if you’re willing, you can stay for two weeks, and train Paula, your assistant, to pick up some of your duties, and we’ll give you six months’ severance based on your years of employment.”
Sally looked at Taylor disbelievingly, “So you’re saying that if I don’t train my replacement, I don’t get my severance? That’s just cruel.”
“We’re not saying that at all, Sally.” Taylor leaned his elbows on the table, and clasped his hands together, as if he were going to pray. “But if you decide to take the high road, this contract will assure that you get the six month’s severance pay.”
Sally looked from Rita to Mr. Taylor, then back to Rita. “Does this mean we’re not going to dinner this weekend, Rita?”
“Of course it doesn’t.” Rita declared.
“Um, I’m afraid it does, Rita.”
Both women looked at Taylor incredulously.
“You know the rules. A person representing our Human Resources, can’t be associated with the employee she has just laid off. It would look bad.”
Fuck him! Sorry. It’s me again, and I’m so angry I could spit nails. There is no such rule like that, and he knows it, the bastard! I think that’s what I’ll call him from now on. Bastard! And his first name will be Mother Fucking! Okay, enough venting, let’s get back to Sally.
“I’ve never heard of that rule, Mr. Taylor.” Rita shuffled the papers together, “I’ll be sure to document it properly, for the corporate lawyers.”
“Oh, uh, that’s fine, Rita. We can overlook it this one time. Well, I have an executive meeting to get to. Sally, I am sorry about this. Good luck to you.” And with that he left them alone in his office.
“What a prick.” Rita said.
“So, do I really have to train my replacement in order to get my severance?”
“I know it’s cruel, but they do have the advantage Sally. Take the two weeks, and use it to say goodbye to your friends here.”
“You mean to my family. This place is my family, and has been for twenty years. Had been. Now everything and everyone I knew are gone, in an instant.”
Oh I can’t listen anymore, or I’ll be blubbering too hard to speak, and I need to tell you that soon, very soon, Sally will have a new family, that will love her like she’s never been loved before. Let’s meet her intended, shall we.
There she is, over there, sitting in her apartment, leering out the window, at the neighbor who just took her laundry to the laundromat across the street. Living on the third floor, gives our hero an angle to, um, shall we say, see more than people on the street, want her to see. But this time, for a change, she wasn’t looking at the neighbor’s breast bouncing as she walked, though she certainly should have been, considering they were bouncing all over the place, just asking to be fondled. Oh, uh, but I digress. This time, Teo was comparing the woman’s size and weight, to her own.
You see, Teo, Teodora Roma, at age fifty ‒six, had recently dropped eighty pounds, thanks to exercise and diet, and looks thirty years younger. She’s feeling quite the stud. No seriously, she was strutting around her apartment, naked as a jaybird, and grinning ear to ear, every time she looked at herself in the mirror. Which was almost as many times as I looked back at her in the mirror, yowza! Hey, settle down. I’m not a peeping Tom, or Tammy, as it were, it’s just part of the job.
Teo owns her own business, and her family are her employees. She’s a chef. An Italian chef. Can we say delizioso? And I’m not just talking about her food. The woman is tall, with long, thick, black hair, light blue eyes, and skin the color of cinnamon. Magnifico!
Her daughter, Sophia, whom I wouldn’t be so cruel as to say was an accident, was indeed an accident. You see, Teo, in her younger, college days, enjoyed ma
ny an Amaretto, and one time, had a little too much of the sweet juice. Well, the frat party got crazy, and so did Teo. Yep, she ended up pregnant. Oops. And the kicker is, that Teo has always known she was a lesbian. Oops again. Not to worry though. She has never put liquor to her lips since.
Anyway, Sophia, and her two children, who are the love of Teo’s life, of course, live just down the street, in Teo’s house. Teo had bought a condo over her restaurant, so no one else could have it. Pretty savvy if you ask me, not that you did, but you should have. Anyway, I know what Teo can’t admit. She’s lonely, and wants to be married, and grow old with her soul mate. And yours truly is going to make that happen for her.
Okay, so get ready, it’s about to get sexual up in here, because the love guardian, that’s me, in case you had forgotten already, has a plan. You see, Teo is about to put a help wanted sign in the window, and I’ve arranged it so Sally walks by, just as she does. Wait, what? Oh no, she didn’t see it. Well dang. Okay, plan B. Hmm, plan B, plan B, what is my plan B? Of course! Sally doesn’t realize that Teo is looking for someone with her special skills…, in every aspect of the word, heh‒heh.
So I put a little bug in Teo’s ear, and she walked over to the window, and wrote on the placard, apply inside. Then I cajoled Aeolus, God of bad breath.. oops, did I just say that out loud? I meant the supreme ruler of the winds, to blow Sally back my way. Now I didn’t mean it literally, but the big guy coughed up such a blast of air so strong, that Sally staggered back, and grabbed a hold of the restaurant door to keep from falling down. This time, she saw the help wanted sign in the window, and walked inside. Okay, let’s watch my brilliant plan B, do its magic.
“Can I speak to someone about the sign in the window, please?” Sally inhaled the sensual smell of lasagna and bread, baking in the brick ovens, that were to the side of the dining area. Having just been told she was laid off, she wandered the streets aimlessly, and she didn’t realize it was pass time for supper, and that she had missed lunch.
Another words, she was suddenly weak from hunger, the poor thing. I don’t think she realized how hungry she was, until she smelled the bread baking. While Sally waited to see Teo, she sat at a table, where a waitress brought her a loaf of bread. Though she assured the waitress she wasn’t here to eat, she proceeded to fill up on that delicious bread, fresh from the oven. Dipping it in olive oil, mixed with spices, she practically made love to it, it was that good. I’m drooling now, just watching her bite into the crackling crust, dripping in oil. Inside, savoring its warm textured softness, that eventually melts away in her mouth, leaving only the after taste of love behind. Bite after delicious bite. I would die happy, making love to bread like that.
Oh my. I was so distracted with the bread, that I, I mean, that Sally didn’t see Teo standing to the side, watching her. I must say, it was instantaneous love on Teo’s part. She had never seen such unadulterated beauty, in all her life. And to watch that heavenly vision, making love to bread she had just baked, flamed the fires of Teo’s own brick oven, whose ambers had been cold for to many years now. Am I good, or what?
“They said you were asking about the job?” Teo sat down beside Sally, and waved for the waitress to bring more bread. She took off her chef’s hat and set it to the side, smoothing her hair as she did.
Sally’s eyes lit up again, just as they had when she took her first bite of bread. She shyly wiped her face with her napkin, hoping that the ravishing woman with the inviting smile, didn’t think she was a pig, for eating all that bread by herself. She smiled sheepishly, “Not really. I guess I just needed an excuse to dine out tonight.”
Teo’s smile dropped, and disappointment took its place. “So you’re not looking for work?”
The waitress brought fresh bread to the table, and looked from her boss, to Sally, as she mixed the spices in a plate and pour the oil over it. Sally could barely contain herself, waiting for the waitress to be done. As soon as she left, Sally dipped a big chunk of bread into the oil, and then remembered that Teo was waiting for an answer.
“Here, join me, won’t you?”
Teo accepted the offer with a gracious smile, and tore off a chunk of bread. She dipped it in the oil, and tilted her head back slightly, partially sticking her tongue out to catch the drip. Then she sucked the remainder of the oil, from the bread, her eyes never leaving Sally’s eyes.
Sally suddenly flushed, and looked down at her bread. She pulled it together enough to say, “Unfortunately, I am looking for a job.” Sally said dejectedly. “I was just laid off today, after twenty years of loyal service. But, I can’t afford a waitressing job, no matter how good the food here, is.”
“Oh, but it’s not a waitress I’m looking for. I need a new accountant.”
Shocked, Sally sat her bread back on the plate and looked at Teo. “I’m an accountant. I mean I was an accountant.”
“Great, you’re hired.”
“Wha…, what?”
And there it is, another notch on my love guardian belt. My work here is done. Let the lovemaking begin…, wait. What’s this? Sally just jumped up and bolted for the door. What the hell?
“What the hell?” Teo watched as Sally hurried out the door.
“What’s wrong, momma?”
“I offered an out of work accountant, a job, and she ran out the door as if she were on fire.”
“What did you say to her?”
“Nothing. Not a thing. At least I don’t think I did. That’s too bad too, because she took my heart with her, when she left.”
Well damn. That didn’t quite go the way I had planned. So, I listened in on Sally’s conversation with herself, and learned that the poor dear was hit with too much emotional overload all at once, and it sent her running from the one person who could soothe her heart, and alleviate all her concerns. Wish I had seen that coming. I should have, considering she had just lost her job, after twenty years. That was not the kind of gut punch I was hoping for her. I envisioned more of a love tap, where it hits you at first sight, like it did for Teo. Now I have to come up with a plan C. Okay, I am up to the challenge. After all, I’ve had tougher subjects than these two before.
Let’s go down the list. Sally panic because…? Because she was hoping they’d realize what a horrible mistake they had made and beg her to come back to work…, no, that’s not it. Not all of it, anyway. Maybe it was because she has six months of severance, where she’ll be paid, to relax at home on their dime. That would be enough for me. But no, there’s something else. What’s missing?
Well I’ll be damned. No, not literally, that would be horrible! No, what I just realized is that it did hit Sally, hard, right there in the gut. Love at first sight. Yep, who’d da woman? Uh, that would be me, of course. I made it happen, just like I said I would. Don’t you just love being in love?
Okay, so what I need to do now, is help Sally work through her denial, both of losing her job, and of being in love. One is vastly different from the other, but both will lead to her complete happiness. Yes, yes, of course. And to my complete success as a love guardian.
There she is now. It’s been a while since I had to take corporeal form, I hope I still remember how.
“Sally, over here.” Rita was sitting at a booth, waving for her.
“Hi Rita. Will you order me a drink, while I run to the little girls room, please.”
“Sure. What do you want?”
Sally set her purse down and said, “Um, how about an Amaretto?”
That’s my cue, wish me luck!
“Hi Rita. Wasn’t that Sally just now?”
“Yes it was. Um, do I know you?”
“Sure you do. We work together at the hospital. Don’t tell me you don’t remember me?”
“Oh, of course I do. How have you been?”
“I’m terribly worried about Sally.”
“I know what you mean. I am too.”
“Did you know that the other day, the day she was laid off, she was offered a job that very afternoon?�
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“Really? That’s wonderful.”
“Not so wonderful. She panicked and left, the poor thing.”
“Why do you suppose she did that?”
“Why don’t we ask her?”
Sally returned to their table, curious to know who was talking with Rita. “Hi, did I miss anything?”
“Hi, Sally. You remember me from the hospital, don’t you? I was so sorry to hear about you being laid off.”
“Not as sorry as I was.” Sally sarcastically joked. Who is this lady?
“Well, I’ll let you two get back to your dinner. It was nice seeing you again, Rita. You too, Sally.”
“You too…, um… don’t be a stranger.” Rita racked her brain, but she still couldn’t come up with a name for the stranger. She turned to Sally and asked, “Do you know who that is?”
“No. I thought she was a friend of yours.”
“I’ve never seen her before in my life.”
Sally found that curious, “So what did she want?”
“I don’t know. She mostly talked about you.”
“Me?”
“Yes, she said you were offered a job the same day you were laid off. Is that true, Sally?”
Blindsided, Sally craned her neck to try and get another look at the strange woman, but she had disappeared already. Reluctantly she looked back at Rita, and nodded her head. “It’s true. I ended up in a little Italian restaurant that day, and stuffed my face with the best baked bread, this side of heaven. I’m not sure why I asked for a job. I think maybe it was because I saw a help wanted sign in the window. It was so surreal. Like something was coaxing me to go in there. Anyway, I guess I had asked for a job because a gorgeous lady, who looked to be in her thirties, told me she was looking for an accountant. What are the odds of that happening?”
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