Aaron’s eyes shaded as he spoke a name he’d long hoped gone from his existence. “Damien Essex.” Aww, hell. He shook his head, stared at the ceiling and exhaled slowly. “He was made for that work. A devious, twisted sort. Evil in a way that’d make your skin crawl. And he never had any love for me. Always said I was too softhearted. Yeah.” Sarcasm laced his brief chuckle as he continued. “Couple of good arguments got us some disciplinary action, and he hated me after that. I honestly think there was something else behind it all too. Hell, I don’t know, maybe I reminded him of somebody he couldn’t stand when he was a kid. Labeled me a coward and traitor when I left. Or so I heard.” He turned his eyes back to Les. “Heard he was pretty obsessed with finding me at first. Just to teach me a lesson. Wouldn’t let it go. And he always loved the kill.”
“Splendid,” Les grunted. “Well, since you and I been workin’ together, all that chatter died out after that first year. Figured anyone who gave a shit finally gave up.” He nodded to Aaron. “Think it could be this Damien character, maybe him that’s involved? Seems he was a real piece o’ work. Only one I can come up with that would bother enough to post a damn bounty to find you.”
“Could be. I don’t know. You know, we have pissed off more than a few others here and there over the years.” Aaron rubbed his jaw and sat back in his chair, folding his arms. He already had resources to disappear. Would Les’s take on the situation provide a better option? He’d at least hear him out. “If it is him, you know this is bad. What you got in mind?”
“If it is him, you’re as good as dead if they get ahold of you.” Les eyed him. “You know that.”
“Yeah, I know. Lucky me.”
“Well, once we find out for sure, we can decide the best way to do this. If it’s just a fishing party, it’ll be a bit less complicated.” Les began folding the maps and pushed together the scattered papers they’d reviewed over the past couple of hours. “I say we turn the tables on ’em. Already got the guys runnin’ stuff. Leave bread crumbs here and there. We’ll find out soon enough. Draw them out and then finish it once and for all. If we need to, kill you off one last time, make it fairly visible. Then you come out the other side, complete new identity. Just another guy on the street.”
“That all sounds good if it works,” Aaron agreed, raising an eyebrow. “But I have done that before myself. Tell me one thing. Why are you doing all this?”
Les shoved the last of the papers back in his duffel and dropped it to the floor. “You proved to me over the years that you’re one of the good guys. No muss, no fuss, get it done. But always ready to step up for those who need help, even if no one else will. Besides, we’ve become pretty good friends. And true friendship matters more than any bloody payday.” Les eyed him. “I’d like to think you’d do the same for me.”
“Fair enough. And thank you. Sincerely.”
Les nodded. “Besides, if you’re getting out of the protection business, what am I gonna do for fun?”
“True.” Aaron chuckled. “Would hate for you to get bored.”
They both stood and moved to the living room. Alex remained fast asleep, and Aaron took in the slow rise and fall of her back as she lay on her stomach, several wisps of hair in random abandon across a pink cheek, closed lids now relaxed and calm in peaceful slumber. A pang jabbed at his core.
He ran a hand through his hair and looked back to Les. “I wish things were different. I would never have come here if I thought it would put her in danger.”
“There’s no way you could’ve known someone would come lookin’ for you like this. You been MIA from all that a long damn time now.”
Aaron’s conscience remained unsettled. “I know. But still.”
“Yeah, I know.” The silence of deep thought descended over Les. “Things have definitely worked out on the strange side on this one,” he remarked after a moment. “You do realize if we hadn’t picked up that last job, you might have never even met her. Then she thought you were dead. Hell, we all did. And you could have just left it that way. But you didn’t. And now you got more than just you to be concerned about.”
Les’s gaze traveled over to Alex, back to Aaron. “Not that I don’t think you can handle it. You’d be the one I’d go to if I needed help in the vanishing department. But you been workin’ with me for what, goin’ on ten years now? So it’s been a few minutes since you’ve had to pull the disappearing act. It’s been kinda normal.” He interjected a chuckle. “As bloody normal as our work allows anyway. When I heard about the bounty, knowing how good you are at making yourself scarce, I figured if they’re trying that hard, maybe you could use some extra help this time around.” Les scratched his head. “I’ll work out a few more details—think we’re good for a couple of days without trouble. Get things with her squared away so she’s ready and then meet me where we said on… Tuesday morning at three?”
“Sounds good.”
“Good. An early start’ll put us there in decent time.” Les dropped a hand on Aaron’s shoulder. “And don’t beat yourself up about Shane either. I can see it in your eyes. I missed it too, and I’m usually pretty sharp on that stuff.”
Aaron rubbed at his face before crossing his arms. “Deceit aside, you ever come up with any ideas on how he miraculously survived on us?”
“Ah yeah.” Les frowned. “Get this. When I went through his gear after? I found his hidden stash. Had a bloody buffet of illegal pills and steroids. I’d wondered about roids but didn’t expect the rest. Might account for some of his erratic behavior. Some of what he had can hype a person up or even lower heart rate and breathing depending on the amount and mix. He may’ve dosed himself, thinking he’d be invincible in battle. And then we wrapped the wanker up after so he didn’t bleed out all over the place. All that, in combination with that half-assed cold storage, could’ve kept him going. A freak thing likely.”
“Damn. That explains a lot.” Aaron returned his contemplation to the sofa. Though a viable explanation, it still didn’t bring him peace of mind. They had lost one on his watch and nearly lost much more. If there was any flaw in his skill set, it was in caring too much about the welfare of the individuals under his protection. Maybe not a true flaw, but things would be so much easier sometimes if he didn’t. He just couldn’t help it.
And even though what happened on the ship wasn’t truly his fault, it would still take time to get past. Had he not provided Mario with a weapon, would the cook still be alive? What if he and Alex hadn’t taken the time and gone after the weapons in the first place? Or, if either of those scenarios had not played out exactly as they did, would more have been lost? And how the hell had he missed Shane’s deception? There was no way to know those answers. Second-guessing was never a good idea, and it never solved anything anyway.
Les spoke again, breaking Aaron’s thoughts. “How’s the leg, mate? You look like you’re gettin’ around okay.”
“It’s good. Healing.” For the second time Aaron confirmed the fact, his thoughts drifting back hours to Alex asking him the same. A quick brow-raise to Les as he reached down and patted the spot on his thigh that now only produced a dull ache. “Helluva lot easier to train yourself outta physical pain than it is emotional.”
Les nodded as his friend turned haunted eyes back to the sleeping form on the couch. “I’m still not sure it’s the best option for her to come with us. This could get ugly.” He exhaled and shook his head. “But she is right, you know. The damage is done. She is on their radar. And you know as well as I do that they’d use her now to get to you.”
Aaron turned his full attention to Les, offering him a brief affirming frown.
“Crazy idea or not though, she may really be safer with us than left on her own. At least until it gets messy. But we’ll figure that out later.” Les tipped a salute at Alex and continued. “And she may be more up for this than we think. Kept it together pretty well on the ship. And after all that mess, she’s still willing to risk that kind of crap for you?”
&n
bsp; “I did tell her I was getting out.”
“Yeah, well, she didn’t even hesitate to call us out when I said for you to tell her goodbye. And that was after this little incident tonight. She knows. That says something. Boy, was she mad.” Les chuckled and winked at Aaron. “Somebody sure made a big impression.”
Aaron crossed his arms and cocked his head at Les, giving him a look.
“And then, of course, there’s that.” Les inclined his head toward the bathroom and snickered again, recalling their earlier ruse for the intruders. “You got your hands full, mate. See ya Tuesday.”
“Tuesday.” Aaron chuckled at Les’s insinuations. “You really do need to get a life, man.”
They shook hands and Les moved to the door. As he stepped out to the small porch, he turned back to Aaron. “Even though I think we’ve got a good coupla days, keep your guard up.”
“You know me.” Aaron shrugged as he glanced around the night-shrouded street. “Always.”
Aaron locked the door behind him and checked all the windows and the back door again before moving to an oversized chair. He flopped down into it. Almost four a.m. His sore need for sleep weighed heavily on him. A few hours now and they’d start getting prepped in the morning. Resting a hand on his forehead, he massaged his temples and squeezed his eyes shut. Monday, Alex could take care of any personal accounts and affairs she needed to finalize. Then they’d meet up with Les and embark on this… insanity.
He leaned forward, elbows on knees, hands clasped. Alex slept across from him. The last thing in the world he wanted now would be to leave her. But the danger aspect caused him acute concern. People who would put up a bounty on a presumed dead man intended to get certain results, or they wouldn’t waste the time and resources. And they tended to be very good at what they did. And very ruthless. Especially if it was Essex.
He could just leave. She’d get over it. Eventually. Maybe. Based on her reaction to Les earlier though, it would take some serious time. And then what? He’d find out later that, because of him, she’d been kidnapped or worse? Plus the fact that she would never forgive him or trust him ever again. Not an option now.
Aaron sighed. He would never be able to provide her with the kind of protection she needed from a distance either. But feelings or no, and even with Les’s agreement, bringing Alex into this severe a situation seemed an irresponsible move. When it came to his own welfare, irrational actions had been the general norm practically since he could remember. But to put her through this? Whether she was willing or not, it just wasn’t a good idea.
Maybe he’d sustained more of a head injury taking Shane off the ship than he’d thought? Even underwater, the explosion had caused him to hit the hull pretty hard. No, that was just an exaggerated excuse. Maybe he should have just waited and watched longer before going to see her? Should he have just tried to suppress his own sentiment and move on? The what-ifs were maddening.
Ready to leave the conflict behind, the unending tension of vigilance, the constant moving, he’d prepared for some time to step away from that life. Something else had changed in him though. These few weeks since the ship had made him take a harder look at his life and where he was now. While he could be generally engaging and friendly, he had long kept people at a distance. For their own protection… and his. Especially since his last attempt at a relationship had failed in spectacular fashion. It was just easier that way. No attachment meant nothing could cause pain. In that constant quest of staying detached, he had suppressed his empathetic side. He still cared enough in his jobs of protecting others but hadn’t realized until recently just how much he truly needed that deeper connection. Until Alex.
When she’d asked him on the ship about what he used to do, he’d longed to tell her but had stopped himself and just stared out over the ocean again. What could he really say? Too much information was never a good idea. Even Les, and especially Shane, hadn’t known the whole story. Pretty much anyone who did was either dead or would want him that way if they found out he still existed. Les maybe had a better idea, although the man would never say it. For all Aaron had told her, he’d always left out certain things. For a reason. Thankfully, Alex’s unneeded apology for her questioning had saved him as he was trying to come up with something that wouldn’t reveal much or sound really stupid.
His thoughts wandered to his best friend as a kid; Colin had had what he would consider an ideal family life. Mom, dad, a little sister. Always supper together in the evenings. Family trips. Time shared. He and Colin played together after school and over summers. Countless meals and falling asleep in front of their television when his own parents worked late. Aaron loved his parents, and they loved him. He just wished they hadn’t had to work so much.
Then Colin’s family moved away. Seventh grade.
That ideal situation. Something he eventually came to the conclusion he would never have. Something that wasn’t meant for his life.
Or was it?
Now, with these recent events and unexpected circumstances, a different story was beginning to emerge. Plus he’d thought for sure he was off anyone’s radar who cared to track him down. He would be truly free of the past. Time to make it count. Make a real fresh start. And this one was special.
This one. The reason he’d shown up here in the first place. Here was a woman, sweet and funny, with an unconventional edge, delicate yet tough as nails, and with the unique-seeming acceptance of a set of skills and checkered past that sent most others backing away. A friendship that developed fast over those three weeks on the ship. More an unspoken kinship, it held a strange familiarity. And a damn strong attachment. A mysterious pull that made it oddly impossible this time to keep any kind of separation. This was something different, something more. He’d made up his mind after the first few days on board that he would make plans to see her after. Take one more chance.
Long ago he’d given up ever finding such closeness. A real belonging. This had to be worth the risk as any thought of the alternative now left him with the sick sensation of severe loss and desolation. A cruel, nauseating knife twisting in his gut every time he even tried to consider life without her. He let out a weary chuckle. At last to find that connection, get it all together, think things could be great and go for it… and it all dissolves into chaos.
Well, wasn’t this just a grand idea? Haven’t been this fucked up in—another faint chuckle—ever? Dammit, what a mess this had become. He took an immersive breath to center and rubbed his eyes. Like it or not, she was involved and in danger regardless of what he did now. Well, just consider it a long-ass protection detail for a good cause.
After sitting and ruminating for a time and contemplating more on his own emotional state in the matter, Aaron gave up. He removed his boots, grabbed a pillow off the chair, and padded over to the couch to switch off the table lamp. The older, plush carpet welcomed his socked feet, and he curled his toes into it. As he stood over Alex in the dark, he found himself fighting back the sudden urge to wake her up and kiss her. Another unrestrained, soul-rending kiss like at the pier. Which if acted on in this present moment could also get him into trouble.
He leaned close. Soft breath warmed his fingers as he lifted a wayward strand of her hair away from parted lips. Desire rose inside him. He sank to his knees, for the moment her reposed innocence wiping away all the cares of his world. Maybe… A deep, slow breath and he shook himself out of that temptation and smiled. He could wait. The best things, right?
He set his pillow in place and lowered himself to the floor next to the sofa. He placed his sidearm just under the edge, within easy reach. He’d slept on much worse things than a carpeted floor.
Alex’s eyes blinked open. Golden morning sunlight streamed through the lace of kitchen window curtains, displaying soft, bright patterns on her pillow. Sofa. She rolled over and stretched. Why she had fallen asleep there crept into the fog of her sleepy brain. All the events from the previous day hit her mind in a rush.
Butterflies erupted
in her stomach, and she flipped back over and buried her face in her pillow to stifle a squeal and widening grin. Quiet enveloped her but for the faint ticking of the clock on the living room wall. Les must have left sometime during the night. She jerked her head up and searched the room, her chest tightening. The joyful butterflies disintegrated and fell like stones. Oh no…
Black tactical boots sat tucked next to her favorite chair. Aaron’s boots. Oh, thank God! Letting out a faltering breath, she closed her eyes to recover, the tingling rush of panic adrenaline draining back out of her veins. Hopefully he had located the bedroom so he could get some decent sleep.
She moved to get up but stopped with one foot just inches off the cushion. An arm splayed out on the carpet. Right there on the floor beside her, Aaron. She eased back down to her stomach, peering over the edge at him. A warmth spread through her and her pulse quickened. Instead of finding a more comfortable place, he had chosen the floor. Next to her. What an adorable and chivalrous thing to do. But poor guy. Had he spent the whole night there?
Wow. Smiling to herself, she ducked away as he started to move. She peeked back over. On his side now, he faced the sofa. The slow rise and fall of his side, arm cradled across his chest; he remained sound asleep. Long, dark lashes edged closed lids that moved slightly as he dreamed, the calm serenity that drenched his face in slumber a sharp contrast to what he was capable of in profession. A small boy lost in wonderland.
She resisted the urge to reach out and touch his cheek, the complex reality of the past twenty-four hours continuing to wrestle in her psyche. Regardless of how mystifying it all seemed, he was here, and for that she was grateful. Captivated eyes memorized every line and feature, a couple of minute scars. That heart-shaped one.
She put her hand up to her left ear, index finger tracing her own near match just behind and below the lobe near the hairline on her neck. The lasting remnant of a childhood accident. Thrilling warmth fluttered through her chest and stomach. Wonder where he’d gotten his? She’d have to remember to ask him.
Off the Deep End Page 15