The Unbalancing Act

by Lynn, Kristen

  1. Whatever happens during your day, always know you could have a raging yeast infection that would make it a lot worse. And if you’re unfortunate enough to currently have a yeast infection, I would recommend you get that cleared up as soon as possible. Just sayin’.

  2. Don’t feel like you’re crazy or alone because it gets hard sometimes. If you feel like crying just fucking do it. Don’t hold it in. Some mothers go a little nutty because they worry too much. Some lose it because they forget to take care of themselves. Some mothers are depressed as hell. Some mothers may just feel overwhelmed. You may be obsessive-compulsive, or you may be constantly paranoid that you are just not good enough. Then again, there are some who are just bitches...and there’s no treatment for that. We all have a little bit of crazy in us, and that is okay. We are martyrs. We are warriors. We are mothers. We are the ones God chose for our children. Be who you are, because that is who your children need you to be. Unless you do bath salts...and in that case I would contact your local law enforcement agency and have your children taken to a safe place because that is just not okay.

  3. Take one night a week and do something for yourself. Whether it’s a movie, a trip to the store alone, or dinner with a friend, just do it. If you possibly can, take a weekend trip once a year with a friend or your husband. Get your “me time.” If you don’t, you could end up in a looney bin somewhere...and wouldn’t Vegas or Jamaica be so much better? I’m vowing to do this from now on, and I suggest you do too. I will not feel guilty. I am still going to be the best fucking mommy in the world and so will you. No guilt. Let your conscious be as clean as the floor you walk on (and if it’s not then grab a broom and a mop) and give yourself a break once in a while. You know you need it.

  I appreciate you sticking with me. Find out what happens over the next few months when I have to find ways to entertain my three boys all summer long. This could get interesting. I know it will be fine, though. I have a new outlook on life. I’m going to stay strong and do what I do. But on the inside, I’m still going to say fuck a lot!

  Thanks for reading!

  ~Vada Nicole Bower...and proud of it!

  The End

  ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

  Be sure to check out The Unbalancing Act Facebook Page here!

  So many amazing people in my life have believed in me enough that I dared to write a book way outside of my comfort zone. My children and husband who are the reason I get up in the morning, literally, like early…every morning are my motivation for everything I do.

  I have to thank my mother who always said, “who cares what people say…fuck ‘em if they can’t take a joke.” I love you mom. Thank you to my dad and my brother Paul, who make my life amazingly wonderful and complicated. Paul, I will always be your biggest fan. Thank you for being a tough critic, you bastard. Dad, you’re an idiot and I love you dearly.

  Thank you to Amber Yoshida for designing and shooting my cover photo. All of your work is amazing and I want to be like you!

  My friends! Jenn, who read (twice) this and told me to take my time and not rush it, and who also, shares my sick sense of humor. I could not have done this without you. Shay, who was my cheerleader, thanks for taking the time to read this and for sharing your thoughts and suggestions. Cristy, who gets all the craziness in my life. Thanks to Katie, Audrey, Allison, Annie, Lori, Stephanie, and all of the ladies that have gone out of their way to show support. All my friends whose little guys are buddies of my little guys…you are all awesome!

  Many thanks to all of my cousins and aunts and uncles in Kansas, Illinois, Nebraska, and Missouri…all of you have been so supportive in helping me spread the word and believing in me. Thank you Sara for signing my credit card slip that day…Thanks to my sweet and precious grandparents, who said, “It’s okay Krissy, we’ve heard bad words before.”

  All of my friends and family! Thank you…a million!

  I would also like to add here, that all of the characters in this book are purely fictional. Any resemblances to persons living or dead are purely coincidental. The names of towns and places, other than Kansas City are also fictional. The New Outlook Center for Mental and Behavioral Health in this book is a fictional place in the fictional town of Rivergate. In other words, this is all pure fiction.