Dr. Treekenstein

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Dr. Treekenstein Page 4

by Douglas H. Plumb

that he already knew Dr. Treekenstein to be a liar. Dr. Know agreed with him, expressing disgust at Treekenstein's behavior.

  Dr. Know explained that he didn't really want to interrupt any more of Little Jimmy’s break and went to open his hovercraft canopy as Little Jimmy began to walk over to the table and share his good news with Woodpile and the others. Dr. Know yelled over to him as he was walking away "Hey - its your break right? How about a quick ride in this thing? We can fly over the Himalayas over in Region 459 and have you back before your break ends." Little Jimmy liked Dr. Know, and liked his little machine even better. He had never been outside Region 17 and so he couldn't refuse and he couldn't insult the good man.

  Dr. Know's rear seat wasn't very big and it took him a few minutes of poking and prodding using a shovel that had been leaning against Little Jimmie's work shack to squeeze Little Jimmy into the rear seat of the fast little ultrasonic hovercraft. Little Jimmy could not control the smile he had on his face as Dr. Know continued to push, prod and squeeze him in with the shovel. Finally he showed Little Jimmy where the seat belt was and closed the canopy. They disappeared into an explosion, then a ball of light that tore across the afternoon sky.

  Little Jimmy was amazed at the ride and the speed of Dr. Know's ultrasonic hovercraft. Little Jimmy explained that he had never gone more than four hundred miles per hour in his own hovertruck. Dr. Know laughed and then said "Twenty nine thousand four hundred and fifty three point two four miles per hour Little Jimmy!" as Little Jimmy watched the ocean speed by below.

  Dr. Know then seized his opportunity and brought up the subject of Treekenstein once again as he turned on his voice recorder. Little Jimmy felt larger than life itself, felt free and secure and with a true friend. Shortly after Dr. Know brought up the subject of Treekenstein again, Little Jimmy did the unthinkable.

  Little Jimmy called him a "useless surgeon".

  Dr. Know had all he needed.

  Little Jimmy had called the worlds most famous and illustrious tree sturgeon, a mere surgeon. The most famous and illustrious member of the worlds most noble, honorable and distinguished profession had just been irreversibly and inexplicably insulted by Little Jimmy. Dr. Know had it on tape.

  Dr. Know would beam the tape recording to the Legalists after dropping Little Jimmy off at the lumber yard. The Legalists and their enforcers would descend upon Little Jimmy first thing the next morning and he would no longer be a problem for Treekenstein. Little Jimmy would lose his home, never see his kids again and likely spend a significant part of the remainder of his life locked up in a maximum security prison, with almost no chance of escape. He wouldn't learn that until tomorrow morning. Between now and then, Little Jimmy would think he was the winner of a brand new hovertruck.

  The two men circled the Himalayas as Little Jimmy quietly, and in awe, glued his eyes to the outside as he listened to Dr. Know explain what he was seeing. Dr Know then suddenly said that he would soon be running out of gas and needed to return Little Jimmy back to the lumberyard or else be sued by the Legalists for not returning Little Jimmy back to work on time. He accelerated the hovercraft and tore across the sky in a ball of light toward the lumberyard.

  The next morning Little Jimmy arrived early at work before anyone else, having got a ride from his brother that lived down the hoverway from him. He would shortly receive his brand new hovertruck and would hover over to his brothers after work to show him the new machine and take him for a ride.

  Treekentein hovered in next, parked and began to make his way to the supervisors office, carrying another sackful of taxpayer money, but it didn't upset Little Jimmy much this time. He had his eyes peeled on the hoverway, watching for his new hovertruck.

  Suddenly multiple black hovercrafts descended from the sky from all directions and hovered around Little Jimmy to surround him. Big armored Legalist enforcers jumped out of the machines. They had Little Jimmy tied up and loaded into one of their black hovercrafts before he even had a chance to realize what had happened.

  Little Jimmy saw Dr. Treekenstein through the bars on his window, carrying his sack full of taxpayer money as he entered the supervisors building. Cold, dark and blind hatred instantly began to coarse through Little Jimmy’s veins as he realized it was all a trap, remembering that he had called Treekenstein a mere surgeon while flying over the ocean at twenty nine thousand four hundred and fifty three point two four miles per hour with his friend Dr. Know.

  4. The Intercranial Fusion Injector

  Hovercraft containing pundits from Subjective Regional and Regional Rock & Dirt Magazine circled the giant wooden shack that had recently been built at the outer perimeter of the now world famous Hore's lumberyard. Hovercraft containing hundreds of engineers and scientists as well as thousands of plumbers, welders and electricians continuously came and went as news cameras pointed at pundits talking about the worlds most famous and illustrious tree sturgeon and his plans to create the worlds first Intercranial Fusion Injector inside the giant shack.

  Earlier Intercranial Fusion Devices would pale in comparison to the giant machine that Treekenstein had designed and would soon be fabricating, he explained. He announced to a world audience that the new Intercranial Fusion Injector would be necessary for him to learn the mathematics, analytic and synthetic chemistry and plant biology that would be necessary to write and solve the equations that would be needed to nail the trees back together from the lumber and save the world from the recent tree extinction.

  Film crews were always careful not to include, or to edit out parts of the deep wooded area that surrounded the world renowned and now famous laboratory that was under construction. The Legalists had made it illegal to confuse a world wide audience or to create controversy millions of years ago, before the P.C. calender began.

  People seeing hills and valleys filled with trees in the backdrop of interviews with famous scientists as they explained that all the trees had gone extinct would create incredible confusion, mental health issues and possible riots according to Dr. Know. This had to be prevented at all costs.

  The world applauded Dr. Treekenstein and his face had recently been on the cover of Subjective Regional and Regional Rock & Dirt magazines.

  Woodpile, Stone and Chimney had been anxiously going to work each day, being near the center of all the excitement.

  Woodpile enjoyed being greeted by pundits and fans and everyone wanted his, Stone's and Chimney's autograph because they were friends of the greatest scientist and tree sturgeon the world had ever known. Dr. Treekenstein himself had to hover in above and away from the crowds that surrounded the lumber yard each morning. Crowds of women couldn't control themselves, they were always screaming and had kept trying to tear a piece of his hair out or rip his clothes off whenever they could get near him.

  Everywhere Treekenstein went, he was followed, lead and flanked by black hovercraft, driven by men in dark suits wearing aviator sunglasses and always with an earphone in their left ear. The same kinds of men were seen pointing energy beam rifles from the tops of buildings before Treekenstein arrived at places like libraries, shopping malls, restaurants, holographic theaters, and sporting events. The world had its attention centered on Dr. Treekenstein and the shack that he had built out at the lumber yard.

  Work at the lumber yard went on as normal, except for the occasional interruptions for the testing of the components of the new Intercranial Fusion Injector that was slowly and carefully being constructed.

  Testing of major components often required the saw mill to be shut down.

  Pundits, crowds and other observers were hovered away to a distant areas behind large mountains whenever Dr. Treekenstein needed to test his new device. On occasions the ground shook, wells were broken and tidal waves were created in nearby rivers and lakes. At other times the sky had gone dark and giant bolts of lightning momentarily connected Treekenstein's shack to the heavens above. This was followed by loud explosions of thunder. Pundits filmed the tests as they peered over the edges of nearby mou
ntains.

  Woodpile, Woodpile Jr, who took Little Jimmy’s job after he was taken away, Chimney, Stone and their team of executives and supervisors that managed the lumberyard were always hovered away to a safe place behind a mountain and far away whenever testing was carried out.

  Treekenstein brought in a fresh sack of taxpayer money before work each Monday afternoon in the rear compartment of his hovercraft before the workweek began and handed it to the supervisors and executives to cover expenses incurred for testing his new device and for underwriting any unexpected consequences that were the result of his tests for the week.

  Testing and construction went on for months with continuous world wide coverage and Treekenstein's face continuously graced the cover of nearly every major political, economic and science magazine in the world every month. People wore t-shirts with pictures of Treekenstein. Treekenstein quotes and product endorsements graced billboards everywhere.

  Everyone had soon forgotten all about Little Jimmy.

  5. The Holographic Generator Set

  Little Jimmy had been sentenced to six hundred and sixty six consecutive life sentences for insulting and degrading the most famous and illustrious member of the worlds most noble, honorable and distinguished

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