Freeze Frame

by Mia Watts

  Dill nodded against his lips.

  “Today, I love you,” Mason murmured.

  Dill retreated far enough to look into his eyes. “Only today?”

  “It’s all I have.”

  “I’ll take today. Then I’m taking tomorrow. After that, I’ve got dibs on the next day,” Dill remarked matter-of-factly.

  “What if I can’t give them to you?” Mason asked.

  “They’re already mine. I’m already yours.”

  “I wish I could believe that,” Mason said, frowning.

  “You will.”

  “It’s one of those time things, isn’t it?” Mason asked.

  “Yeah. But I’ll freeze it when it gets rough so you can catch your breath,” Dill grinned.

  “Dill?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Make me come,” Mason whispered.

  “I thought you’d never ask.”

  Dill pushed down Mason’s body, taking time to fiddle with the pierced nipples he found along the way, until the soft pants and urging hands on his shoulders told him Mason needed more. Dill had made him wait long enough. What he hadn’t told Mason was that his mouth watered for the chance to suck him off.

  He couldn’t wait to feel the texture of Mason’s gorgeous cock sliding between his lips. The man’s body was a work of art. Tight form, tattooed perfection and glowing with health, Dill applauded himself for his restraint so far.

  Then Mason had said the words he didn’t think he’d get to hear. Trying not to rush it after that seemed like a bigger obstacle than Dill was prepared to undertake. He felt like celebrating with shouts and laughter, yet sensed that Mason needed to take it slower. He was tentative and cautious. Skittish, pretty well summed it up. The last thing he wanted to do was scare him away.

  Because the next step was finding out if Mason would allow a more permanent arrangement. Like one with wedding bands.

  I never should have doubted Mom.

  Now if he could just convince Mason what Dill already knew to be true. They belonged together.

  Sinking lower, Dill nuzzled the trimmed hairs at the base of Mason’s cock. They were dark brown and for the first time, he wondered what color Mason’s hair had been before he shaved it all off. With sucking kisses first along one side and then the other, he looked up at Mason.

  “What color is your hair?”

  “Brown.”

  “Mm,” Dill murmured as he slipped the tip of Mason’s cock into his mouth.

  Mason gasped. “You want me to grow it for you?”

  “No.”

  “I would.”

  “No.” Dill nipped the rim, then licked it in apology. “I like your head. Both of them.”

  “I like that you like my heads. Fuck, do that again.”

  Dill nipped and licked, then smoothed his tongue over the entire knob, dipping into the slit. Mason shivered. He held Dill’s head on the cock, alternately, twisting his fingers into the strands until they pinched enough to water Dill’s eyes, and stroking his hollowed cheeks when he began working it over.

  Then, inspired by an idea, he pulled off and looked up the length of Mason’s fully aroused body. “Tell me what I do to you. Tell me how you love me. Don’t stop telling me unless you want me to stop this.” He took a long draw on Mason’s dick, hugging the tip with his lips as he withdrew.

  “That’s blackmail,” Mason complained weakly.

  “You love me, today. So today I want to hear it all.”

  “Safe with you.” Mason gasped over the words as Dill resumed. “You don’t give up on me.”

  Dill murmured in agreement.

  “Christ that feels good,” Mason said, squirming.

  Dill stopped long enough to remind him, “Keep going.”

  “Okay, okay—uhm—I love the way you look at me. Blue eyes, sharp. Hungry smile. Quiet presence.”

  Dill resumed, pleasuring him with his mouth for every warm praise Mason bestowed on him.

  “Strength. You’re strong in your person. Uh…”

  Mason seemed to be having trouble holding on to thoughts, or finding the words he wanted. Dill couldn’t help but smile and increase the intensity of his movements on the delicious cock in his mouth.

  “Confidence,” Mason nearly shouted. His body had grown taut, drawn. He alternately grabbed Dill’s hair and the sheets, twisting both in his effort to hang on to speech or sanity.

  “Sexy confidence. Don’t back away from challenge. I’ve…fucking…challenged you. Aw, fuck,” Mason swore, gasping around the words. His breaths had grown labored.

  “Tell me,” Dill insisted.

  Mason grunted with frustration and scrambled to shove Dill back on his cock.

  Dill laughed but allowed himself to be guided.

  He liked the feel of Mason sliding between his lips and over his tongue. He liked the taste which was both salty and crisp. The fact that he got to have the sculpture-perfect piece all to himself made prolonging Mason’s pleasure all the more fun. But he’d waited long enough. Mason could barely hold himself still and he’d certainly allowed Dill to control him beyond the endurance a lesser man would.

  “I do love you. God, I hate that you make me feel shit.”

  Mason’s hips lifted to meet Dill’s decent on his penis. His balls had drawn up again and his words had a strange strangled quality to them. He was ready.

  Dill slid his finger inside Mason’s hole, curling the tip and popping the ring as he came out. Mason howled and bucked, insane with pleasure he couldn’t hide from Dill’s studious gaze. He repeated the action, faster and faster until finally he tasted success.

  Mason arched up, grinding his teeth as he pumped Dill’s mouth. Hot and sharp, he erupted, spraying Mason’s throat. Dill swallowed, sucked to take more, worshipped his length with hand and mouth, wringing every last luscious drop from the strong man who’d admitted his weakness—for him.

  It wasn’t just for today. Not if the admissions he’d made were true. Dill had finally gotten through to him. Now he just needed Mason to realize that it wasn’t a bad thing to trust Dill with his heart, and to trust himself enough to know that loving wasn’t a weakness at all.

  Dill climbed over him, leaned down to kiss Mason’s gasping lips. “I love you, too.”

  Alarm tightened Mason’s gaze. “I didn’t say…”

  Dill cocked a brow and waited for the denial.

  Mason never formed the words. His face, still flushed from sex, pinked further. The slightest smile touched his lips. “I can’t lie to you, can I?”

  “You could, but I’d know it after that display,” Dill noted.

  His smile faded again, his eyes grew troubled. “It doesn’t mean I’ll do anything about it.”

  “You just did.”

  “Beyond today, I may never do anything about it.”

  Dill could see the stubbornness rising to the forefront. Mason must be feeling trapped again. It wasn’t a feeling he wanted Mason to have about him, so Dill climbed off to lie on his back beside him. “Strength is found in many ways, Mase.”

  “Is that Sensei Dill talking?”

  He laughed. “Yeah.” He turned his head, looking at Mason’s profile. “But it doesn’t make it any less true.”

  Mason rolled up on his side. He looked down at Dill and trailed his fingers from the base of Dill’s throat to his belly button. “You’re strong and you have strength, but you’re not my strength, Dill. You’re my weakness. I learned a long time ago that some people don’t get a chance at regular feelings. If they try, the gods strip it away to rebalance life’s order.”

  “The cosmos according to Mason Haliday, god of complete knowledge.” He’d meant it as a joke, but Mason’s answering expression was serious and Dill felt the humor drain away. Was there nothing he could do to prove himself?

  “Something like that.”

  “It’s gotta be lonely where you live.” Dill stroked Mason’s cheek, rubbed his thumb on his temple before letting his hand fall away again.
/>   Mason shrugged a shoulder.

  “What will it take to let me in?” Dill asked.

  It was the wrong thing to say. Mason’s expression shuttered instantly. “It is what it is, Dill. This is good. Really good. But it isn’t permanent. Nothing is permanent. Not even families. Not even you.”

  “You haven’t given me enough of a chance to know that. A week ago you’d never have admitted to loving me.”

  “I still haven’t admitted to it,” Mason said, some of the sparkle returning to his eyes.

  It was a cautious start. Dill would take it. “Not with words. It’s in the air. I see it, and you know it.”

  “God, you’re stubborn.” Mason’s hand rested over Dill’s heart. He leaned down, softly kissed him. “If I could hold this moment in time, I’d keep it forever to look back on when this is all over.”

  The air stilled.

  “No. No, no, no, not now,” Dill yelled. “Not when it was getting so good. I was so close. He was so close, you fucking faeries.” He felt the blood drain out of his face. “Oh shit, you heard all that, didn’t you? I’m sorry Mason, but you do love me, and I love you and no matter what you seem to think about permanence or the cosmos, it’s bullshit. We belong together.”

  “The only way I know to prove it, is to unfreeze you. Kiss me and we’ll be in the moment together while the rest of the world stays unmoved. I’ll give you your moment in time to look back on forever. I’m going to show you that it could be more than just one, or two, but a collection of moments meant only for us.”

  Chapter Ten

  Mason Haliday listened with no small sense of panic. If Dill could read through him so easily, there didn’t exist any hope of getting over him. He’d said, just for today, but it hadn’t even been a day. He’d slept in Dill’s arms better than he’d slept in his lifetime. It was like his body and mind had known he’d come home, and that scared the shit out of him.

  Home meant depending on someone and getting let down. It meant people said important things about love and caring, yet it was that moment, the one where they made all those promises, which began the downward slide into disappointment. Why? Because Mason knew. He knew what promises were filled with, and it stank bad enough to draw flies.

  Oh, they all believed it at first. They thought they’d loved him. They thought they’d weather through with him and keep him, but they always let him go. They always found something they disapproved of, and then he was gone. They sent him away, and he’d be left wondering what he’d done this time that made them stop loving him.

  He fucking couldn’t take that from Dill. If Dill saw how much he mattered to Mason, if he knew that he put the lightness in Mason’s chest and filled it with hope instead of fucking emptiness, he’d not only have all the power, he’d see how badly it hurt him when Dill grew tired of him.

  For Dill that would include regret and guilt. Dill didn’t love like the people Mason had grown up with. Dill wanted him to believe it, and he did. He knew Dill actually thought he meant it, but the moment Mason wasn’t good enough for him, he’d want to send Mason away. Mason wouldn’t be able to handle the fading affection, the disgust, and he sure as hell wouldn’t be able to stomach seeing Dill suffer from guilt for knowing he hadn’t been true to his word when he’d only loved Mason for a little while.

  Dill reached for him and drew back.

  Mason experienced the familiar sizzle along his nerve endings as they woke. He witnessed the gradual slowing in Dill until they had completely switched places. This is the part where he decided whether or not he’d trust Dill. At least, that’s what Dill would see. What he wouldn’t see is what Mason knew from experience: No one could love him forever. They tried and failed. As long as Dill believed Mason couldn’t open up to accept a permanent thing, he’d be saved from the self-loathing and guilt of unintentionally lying to Mason.

  Because Mason knew it was inevitable, and because he did love Dill and couldn’t allow him to beat himself up over something he had no control over.

  The break had to happen now. A temporal freeze would provide Mason the time he needed to take care of personal business and leave Dill. He’d be pissed when he unfroze. He’d be hurt. He’d be alive, and he’d move on, too. He’d remember Mason as that guy who’d never let himself open up to another human being, and Mason would remember that Dill had been the only person to break the barrier of his heart. Dill was his weakness. He’d always be, and because of that, he wouldn’t condemn Dill to a future of self-reproach but a future of one that always seemed possible if only Mason had let him in.

  As he watched Dill still completely, felt the sensation come back to his own limbs, he looked into Dill’s eyes for what would be the last time. What did you say to someone whose whole existence began, dwelled, and ended with happiness and belonging when all you brought was misery and solitude? What did you say to break his heart without breaking the spirit you loved? What did you say to keep him from coming after you, to make him accept that the two of you would never work? That he’d accomplished the impossible by working his way into your heart forever and he’d never be forgotten?

  “I love you, today,” Mason whispered. “I told you it was only today, and that’s all it’s going to be. I’m sorry to do this to you, but it’s the only way you’ll leave me alone. Good-bye, Dill.”

  Without touching him and risking a defreeze, Mason moved away and got dressed. He did it silently, with his back to Dill and left. The shit in his apartment would stay the way they’d left it. He’d move to another town. It wouldn’t be the first time he’d started over from scratch. He had his art, his ability to tattoo. There was always work to be found and a way to work off the equipment rental. Once he met Carla Leon, looked into the frozen face of his birth mother so that he knew what abandonment looked like in the flesh, he’d leave town and start over.

  * * * *

  Mason, get your ass back here!

  Dill couldn’t fucking believe he’d been left naked in a hotel room by the man of his dreams. What the fuck had he missed? They’d been doing fine. Some light banter, some great sex, some dominating sex, and a true heart to heart. He’d made it clear he loved Mason and that he knew Mason loved him back so he didn’t actually have to form the words. The words seemed difficult for Mason, and Dill got that. He did. He understood why they’d be hard, and he was okay with it. They’d get by on feelings and just knowing until Mason felt safe enough to say them.

  He’d used Dill’s ability against him, for fuck’s sake.

  What the hell did he mean by, good-bye, Dill? Good-bye for a few minutes while I get some coffee, Dill? Good-bye while I work out how to get over myself and my dumbass pride, Dill? Good-bye, you’re creeping me out and I’m running away now, Dill? What? What?

  Not that anyone could hear him.

  Thanks to Mason. Thanks to the fucking faeries.

  Thanks to Dill’s own gullibility. Goddamit!

  Now he’d left, and somehow Dill needed to find him and fix the misunderstanding. He didn’t like to admit it, but that good-bye had sounded sickeningly permanent.

  Think, Dill. Where would he go? The apartment?

  No. He wasn’t safe there as proven twice. The door still hung on a hinge but offered no security.

  The tattoo shop is out of the question. He got kicked out. So is the café. Fat chance he’d be at the cabin or my place.

  He’d needed Dill’s help to get answers about…

  Shit. He went to Carla. We staked her out. He knows where she lives and works. Why else would he wait until I can’t stop him unless he wanted to do something I’d told him he couldn’t do.

  No one could stop him, now. The whole world was frozen except for Mason.

  The one thing he wanted was answers. Who better to provide them than the woman who had created the questions in the first place?

  He willed himself to unfreeze. He felt used. He felt discarded, impotent. His cock flopped nakedly on his thigh. His mouth still tasted of Mason. His lips were s
till swollen from kissing and rubbing, and he’d do it again if Mason would just walk back through that door.

  If he’d just come in casually with some coffee and say something sexually flip, like, “Hey, Dilly-bear, I thought you could use a pick me up. I need you awake because it’s my turn to make you suffer.”

  Then he’d complain about Mason’s choice of endearments, and Mason would make him gasp through the admonishment until he’d forgotten everything but Mason’s body on his.

  But he didn’t come.

  And non-seconds ticked by.

  He’s going to Carla’s to face her. Then what? Will he come back? He wouldn’t actually skin her, would he?

  He didn’t think so. The one thing that kept Dill calm was that as long as he was frozen, she was frozen. Hopefully, alive and frozen with all her skin.

  So he’d go to her and what, wait? He’d have to know Dill would figure it out sooner or later. That he’d come after him and if not catch him with Carla, then find him at home.

  Something didn’t feel right. The way Mason had said good-bye lingered with him. It was as though he didn’t expect to see Dill again, and the only way that was possible was if he couldn’t be found.

  Don’t you dare leave town, Mase. Don’t you fucking dare leave me with my dick hanging out in the air and never let me see you again. Don’t fucking dare. I’m worth more than this. We have something more than what you give us credit for. Don’t you dare fucking leave.

  But he would. Dill felt certain that was exactly what Mason intended to do. All he could do now was wait for time to give up its hold. And think. And plan. And imagine holding Mason in his arms until he figured it out—Dill wasn’t going to let him walk away this time.

  * * * *

  Mason circled Carla Leon. She looked harmless enough. She wasn’t a big woman. Probably cleared five-four in bare feet. Today she was wearing black heels with a thin strap around her ankle. She was slim and in a dark navy power suit. The skirt fell in a straight line to the top of her knee. Her suit jacket took a deep vee and buttoned with three large navy buttons at her tiny waist. She had narrow, squared shoulders and shoulder-length black hair pushed off her forehead and falling in slight waves.