Retreat Again (The Retreat Series Book 2)

by Christina Benjamin

  Alex should have known his luck couldn’t last. An hour into his latest painting he heard someone pounding on his door.

  Olivia.

  A little voice in his head told him to ignore her, but he knew that would never work. She was small but feisty as hell and probably used to getting whatever she wanted. He’d better just face the music before she broke the door down, which from the sound of it, would be soon.

  “I’m coming,” Alex shouted over Weezer’s wailing guitar riff.

  He wiped his hands on the rag in his back pocket and turned down the music. He was looking for a shirt to throw on but Olivia’s relentless pounding made him give up.

  Christ, she was impatient!

  He pulled open the door and quickly slipped into the hall before she could get a glimpse into the room. Olivia was waiting for him, her bright lips pressed into a thin line of anger. She looked mad as a hornet with one hand on her hip, the other holding up a plate containing a smashed peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

  “Let me guess, not a fan of PB&J’s?” Alex asked sarcastically.

  “No, I actually love them. But what I’m not a fan of is stepping on them!” Olivia shouted.

  Alex tried hard to contain his laughter, but the image of Olivia with jelly between her toes made giddiness fizz in his chest.

  “Stop smirking,” she fumed. “And don’t you ever wear a shirt?”

  “I was trying to find one but someone was relentlessly pounding on my door.”

  “Well I wouldn’t be pounding if someone hadn’t left this outside my door,” she argued waving the smooshed sandwich under his nose. “You wouldn’t know anything about this, would you?”

  “Nope.”

  Olivia was seething. “Real mature, Alex,” she growled before stomping into the kitchen to throw away the ruined sandwich. “I thought we agreed to stay out of each other’s way. And what’s all of this?” she yelled pointing to a heap of dishes in the sink. “I’m not your maid.”

  “I never thought you were, princess. I was merely staying out of your way,” Alex said raising his voice despite his best efforts to remain calm.

  Christ, this girl got under his skin.

  Great, now he was thinking about Olivia’s skin!

  “Oh and I suppose leaving a sandwich outside my door is your idea of staying out of my way too?”

  “Give me a break, Olivia. I was trying to be nice. I brought it up because it didn’t look like you’d eaten in days. But you were playing so I left it outside your door, since interrupting you is also against the house rules. Any others I should know about while you’re feeling so full of yourself?”

  “Yes, as a matter of fact there is. I was coming down here to politely ask you to turn your music down when I stepped in a sandwich.”

  “Politely?” Alex mocked. He doubted she knew the meaning of the word.

  Olivia crossed her arms defiantly, but it only made her look sexier as her tightly clutched arms accentuated her cleavage. Alex swallowed hard and tried to look at her face instead. “Sorry to disappoint you, but I need music to work.”

  “Riiight, your art.” Olivia made patronizing air quotes with her fingers as she said the word ‘art’. “Well, do you have to play it so loud? I can barely hear my cello over it.”

  “I have to keep turning my music up to drown out your whining cello. It’s affecting my painting.”

  “I find it hard to believe that my music can affect your imaginary art.”

  “Imaginary?” Now it was Alex’s turn to explode. He waved his paint-covered hands in front of Olivia’s face. “Are you blind? Does this look imaginary? What do you think I’m doing in there all day? You may be on vacation or whatever the hell you think you’re doing here, but I’m actually working to support my career! And I would appreciate it if you would show me some respect.”

  “Well, maybe I would if you actually showed me some of your alleged art. For all I know you’re just finger painting in there.”

  Alex took a deep breath and counted to ten in his head. He could feel the muscles in his jaw feathering as he ground his teeth. He was desperate to go for a run to clear his head. He wasn’t ready to show anyone his work yet and the more Olivia pushed, the more stubborn he became.

  What the hell was wrong with him?

  He’d have to show his art to the world soon enough. What did it matter if he showed Olivia now? If it got her off his back it would be worth it. It was clear that she wasn’t interested in him, so he shouldn’t care about her opinion of his work.

  But he did!

  And for some strange reason he didn’t want to let Olivia win so easily.

  “Fine,” he muttered. “I’ll make a deal with you.”

  Olivia crossed her arms again. “What do you want?”

  An answer roared to life inside him—You, Olivia. I want you.

  Alex knew he hadn’t said the words aloud, but embarrassment colored his cheeks nonetheless. He was trying his hardest to ignore his desire for Olivia, but the harder he tried, the more his body betrayed him. Whenever he was near her it felt like he was lost without a compass, wandering aimlessly.

  How could one woman throw his world so off balance?

  It was time for Alex to regain control. He wasn’t going to give up something for nothing. “I’ll let you see my art if you promise to play a song for me to paint.”

  “Absolutely not!”

  “Why?”

  “Because I’m not stupid. I’m not some naïve groupie who wants you to paint her nude or whatever it is you do in there.”

  “Then I guess you’ll never find out what I’m painting.”

  “Fine, then I guess you’re going to have to deal with my cello.”

  “Fine!” Alex yelled, but Olivia was already storming down the hall.

  Chapter 23

  Olivia

  Olivia heard Alex shout after her but she ignored him. If he wanted a war he was going to get one. He didn’t know what he was in for. Olivia had a stubborn streak that ran for miles. One summer she and Bex didn’t speak for two weeks because Bex cheated at Monopoly. Of course it had been Olivia who caved and spoke first, but that was beside the point. She only gave in because Bex was her cousin and she couldn’t stand to fight with her. But the same couldn’t be said for Alex—no matter how sexy he looked in those paint covered jeans.

  She stomped into her room and flopped down on her bed. She wanted to scream! Being trapped in this house with Alex was infuriating.

  Why did he have to be so fucking sexy?

  And if possible, he was even more gorgeous when he was angry. The way his jaw tightened and his muscles flexed . . . Olivia couldn’t even think when she looked at him. Alex flustered her to no end and everything she said came out angry and confused. It hadn’t helped that revisiting her memories of Rhys all afternoon had wound her up. But that wasn’t Alex’s fault. He didn’t deserve to pay for Rhys’s sins.

  What had Alex done but try to be nice to her since she arrived?

  He saved her life for God’s sake.

  She had completely overreacted about the sandwich. Olivia sighed deeply and pushed her palms to her eyelids until she saw stars. Coming here had been a mistake. But what could she do now? She was stuck until the weather cleared and the roads were repaired.

  Apologizing to Alex was probably a good start.

  She’d been acting like an ungracious brat and made up her mind to go back downstairs with her tail between her legs. If they were going to be stuck here together they might as well make the most of it.

  Olivia was crossing the room to go back downstairs when she tripped on the edge of the rug and nearly went sprawling. She swore as she caught herself against the desk.

  Stupid rug!

  That was the second time she’d nearly tripped over the knotted tassels. Olivia bent down to smooth down the corner she’d flipped up when she saw something strange. A small heart had been etched into the worn wood of a graying floorboard. Olivia knelt to examine it clo
ser. She traced her finger along the shape of the heart and the floorboard shifted. It was loose! Anxiety gripped her chest.

  What the hell was this?

  A secret compartment?

  Her fingers itched to inspect further, but Olivia was nagged by guilt. She felt like an intruder about to witness something she shouldn’t. Olivia knew that feeling all too well. Her nerves prickled as her fingertips grabbed hold of the board. A tiny voice whispered to her as she pulled.

  Don’t do this.

  Some things are better left unseen.

  It was enough to make her hesitate.

  “Oh, this is ridiculous,” Olivia said to herself. She wasn’t some trespasser. This was her room. And Gran had sent her here. She’d said she couldn’t send anyone else.

  ‘No, Olivia. It has to be you.’

  Those were her grandmother’s exact words.

  Maybe Gran meant for her to find whatever this was?

  Olivia steeled her nerves and pried up the board. It came away easily. No nails or glue holding it in place. It was simply resting on two supports, begging to give up its secrets.

  At first, Olivia thought the hole in the floor was empty. It was so dark she couldn’t see anything. But she wanted to be sure. And since the idea of sticking her hand into a deep, dark space made her sweat, she went in search of light. She quickly returned with her cell phone and shined it into the hole.

  A tremor shook Olivia’s whole body when she first saw the bundle of letters. Her fingers dashed into the hole and pulled them out in a blur. She quickly replaced the floorboard and rug, before climbing onto the bed with the letters in hand.

  She felt like a criminal as she stared at the yellowed paper. Her mind was warring with whether to open them or not. But ultimately Olivia knew herself. Gran had always said Olivia was like a dog with a bone. Once she got an idea in her head she had to see it through. Not opening the letters wasn’t an option. So, rather than delaying the inevitable, Olivia dove in, unfolding them one at a time with delicate fingers.

  They were letters to her grandmother, but to Olivia’s complete surprise, they weren’t from her grandfather. They were from a WWII soldier named Jacob.

  Wednesday, 19 May 1940

  My dearest,

  Some moments are worth writing about. Ours will be. Sometimes only the paper will listen. But I know your heart hears me. The most terrifying moment was when I saw you, and then imagined having to live my life without you. Our eyes met for the briefest of time, but I saw my whole life in that instant. I could get lost in your eyes, your deep blue sea. I fear I have already started swimming. And for your love I will swim forever. The scariest moment is now, right before we start. But I promise you it will be worth it. Our love will be worth it.

  We will be more than what they said we could be. I know this because already I care for you more than myself. I know this because being without you is not an option. Give your fear up to the darkness between the stars. Come find me, my love. For I give you my heart. There will be no love deeper than ours.

  Jacob

  Tuesday, 5 August 1940

  My Darling, My Angel, My Everything,

  Cassidy, I know there are no words to describe the feelings in my heart, but still I feel I must try to convey my love for you. You have changed me for the better. I’m not the man I was before I met you and now, after our time together at the lake house, I fear I cannot ever go back. I don’t want to go back. But I fear I don’t know how to be this new, better man without you by my side.

  Leaving you will be the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. But it is my duty to defend my country, to make it safe for you and for our future. You are what will get me through this war. The memories of our one night together could sustain me for a lifetime. But you have given me so much more than that. You’ve given me something to come home to. I live for the moment I can hold you in my arms again and call you my wife. Your touch is like fire in my soul, Cassidy. I would cross the world ten times over to get back to you. Until then, I will hold you each night in my dreams.

  Your Jacob

  Tears filled Olivia’s eyes as she read the heartfelt words Jacob poured onto the pages. By the final one, she was sobbing so hard she could scarcely keep her hands steady enough to read the faded words.

  Monday, 5 June 1944

  My Darling Cassidy,

  This is the last letter I write to you. For after our assured victory at Utah Beach tomorrow, Ivy Company will march home heroes. I will come home to you, steadfast and loyal, as my heart has ever been. I would give anything in the world to see you one more time before our mission, to feel your arms around me. You always were my strength. But I keep you in my heart as I go to battle. Keep my love warm in your own so I may find my way back to you. It will be heaven to be home and have you in my arms again. Wait for me at my house. And wear the blue dress. I always love the way it makes your eyes sparkle. Just like the lake. Our lake. I cannot wait for the day we are free to be together and have our whole beautiful life ahead of us. You give me something to live for.

  Your Jacob

  “No! No, that can’t be it. There has to be more,” Olivia whispered as she frantically leafed through the letters. But she’d read them all, only to arrive at a devastating end. The letters were cut short, just like Jacob’s life had been. He never returned home. Olivia knew it in her heart, but she still couldn’t stop herself from searching his name in the WWII memorial database. When she found him all the breath squeezed from her lungs.

  Jacob Parker, 4th Infantry division, died serving his country in 1944 in France.

  Olivia felt hollow inside. Jacob had died in the war, probably alone and full of regret for not getting to hold his sweetheart one last time.

  How had she never known this?

  Her grandparents were the epitome of true love. Olivia wasn’t sure she believed in true love, but if ever it existed, her grandparents were it. Being raised by free loving parents and old-fashioned grandparents put Olivia somewhere in the middle of the romance spectrum. She considered herself a modern woman. She was perfectly content to enjoy casual sex until she found ‘the one’—if that even existed anymore.

  But this . . . these letters shattered everything Olivia thought she knew. Gran had been engaged to another man—had sex with another man! Thinking about it now, Olivia felt foolish. But she’d never imagined there was ever anyone else for either of her grandparents. They were Thomas and Cassidy Crain—the pillars of which all love stories were compared to—at least in the music industry.

  “Poor Gran,” Olivia murmured, holding the letters to her chest.

  How had she survived that kind of loss?

  She’d been so young. Younger than Olivia was now. Olivia let her fingers skim lightly over the signature at the bottom of the last letter.

  Had Jacob known that was the last time he’d ever sign his name?

  Jacob . . .

  It suddenly occurred to Olivia that it couldn’t be a coincidence that Jacob was also her uncle’s name.

  Did that mean her grandfather knew about her grandmother’s lover?

  Or was this Gran’s secret way to keep her first love alive?

  Olivia had so many questions. She was tempted to call her grandmother that instant, but when she realized it was almost midnight she thought better of it. She couldn’t believe how late it was. She’d been reading the letters for half the day, but it felt like only moments.

  My God, their love was so tragic.

  So beautifully tragic.

  Olivia lay down next to the letters and tried to wrap her mind around that kind of pain.

  Olivia fell asleep dreaming of unrequited love. Images of handsome soldiers going off to war flipped through her mind like an old black and white film reel. Sometimes the soldiers were strangers, sometimes they had her grandfather’s face, and sometimes they smiled at her with Alex’s fetching grin.

  She awoke with a new feeling of lightness in her chest. Perhaps it was because the rain had
finally stopped and the sun was streaming in through the dormer windows, or perhaps it was because those letters had somehow seeped into her subconscious and clicked things into place. She felt sudden clarity as she dressed and headed downstairs. She knew what she had to do and it started with apologizing to Alex.

  Chapter 24

  Alex

  Alex walked up the last steep incline with his hands resting on his head as he caught his breath. He still wasn’t acclimatized but it was getting easier to breathe during his runs. He glanced down at his phone—he’d made good time today and he attributed it to the weather. The rain had finally given in, making way for blue skies. His steps were lighter and so was his mood. It was amazing what a little sunshine could do.

  When Alex stepped inside the cottage he couldn’t believe his eyes. For a moment he thought he was dreaming or maybe he’d somehow arrived at the wrong house. Everything looked the same, but the girl in the kitchen was decidedly different. Alex blinked in awe as he watched Olivia stirring batter in a mixing bowl, while humming a tune. She was wearing a gauzy blush-colored sundress with a soft ivory sweater draped over it. Her hair was pulled up in a messy bun and the sweater had slipped down one shoulder. With her back to him, Alex had a tantalizing view of Olivia’s flawless skin and graceful neck.

  He tamped back his arousal and cleared his throat. The last thing he needed was for Olivia to think he was spying on her again—even if he sort of was.

  Olivia turned and smiled at Alex as he entered the kitchen. The beauty of it floored him and he realized he’d never truly seen her smile before. It was so brilliant and unexpected it stole his words.

  “There you are,” Olivia said brightly. “Out for a run?”

  Alex nodded as he moved tentatively into the kitchen, being sure to keep the island between them as a buffer. He didn’t trust himself around Olivia. His mind said one thing but his body did another. The aroma of sizzling pancakes and freshly brewed coffee filled the kitchen and Alex’s stomach rumbled.