by Dara Girard
However, the biggest difference between the two was that James took up too much space. Jackson would have entered her apartment like a cool breeze, swift and light; James was like a humid summer, making everything feel close and tight, making her want to open a window and strip down. Punishing him came at a price because the same feeling had followed her in the car, making Jackson’s Porsche feel like a Mini Cooper.
But she’d get rid of James soon. Unfortunately, not the memory of him making her two bedroom apartment feel as large as a tiny closet, so that was fine. She returned to the living room and a soft smile touched her lips when she saw him sitting with his hands gripped on his knees and head lowered like a condemned man. He obviously didn’t like doing this deception. That was good, he had a conscience. But then why do it? What was Jackson up to?
Ava set the tray down on the coffee table. “Having second thoughts?”
James’s head shot up and he stared at her alarmed. “No, no.”
“You don’t look happy.”
He looked at her for a long moment. “What’s with you and me being happy?”
She bit her lip, he was right. That was out of character for her. She had to be more careful and not try to push this too far.
“I guess I’m a little nervous about tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow will be fine. Thank you,” he said when she handed him the coffee. He moved over giving her more room on the couch. Another small slip. Whenever they went out, whether to a movie or formal event, Jackson always stayed in place. James was too considerate for his own good.
“I don’t believe you.”
He sipped the coffee. “Why not?”
“Because you haven’t touched me all evening.”
Ava inwardly smiled, biting the inside of her cheek. She could picture his mind racing for a response. What do you say to that James?
At first he didn’t move and she wondered if he’d heard her. He stared at his coffee, he was so still she wondered if he was even still breathing. She was about to say something else when he set the cup down on the coffee table with a soft click. He turned to her and said, “I wanted to wait for us to be alone.” And although that was exactly something Jackson would say the look in his eyes was pure James. Pure, unadulterated James and it was a heady sensation to be captured under that serious, penetrating gaze that dared her to look away while a hypnotic heat that seemed to fill the air around him, drew her close.
Her heart responded. She knew she should stop him now. Call him out. Throw him out. Get him out of her apartment—now. But she didn’t. She didn’t move, waiting to see what he would do next. She’d given him enough time alone to text his brother and get instructions on how to proceed. She expected another smooth line and then he’d leave.
“I see,” she said, crossing her legs, but this time his heated gaze didn’t leave her face.
He kissed her.
With no hesitation. Like a eagle swooping down to capture its prey. She’d never seen James as a predator before, but now she did. She felt it the moment his lips touched hers. A shiver of fear coursed through her as she realized she’d fallen in his trap. She’d underestimated him.
It had been a dangerous mistake to believe that his concern for his mother and brother, his soft footsteps and considerate acts were the actions of a weak man.
He was more controlled and calculating than that. His every gesture and move was not by accident, but design. She hadn’t realized he’d kept her off-balance all evening until this moment when he’d been prepared to strike, giving her no recourse to deny him, claiming her as if she were his woman.
He pulled away, his voice a velvet whisper against her lips. “That’s just a taste of things to come.”
Another smooth Jackson line that sounded completely different coming from James. It felt like a promise. A promise she wanted him to keep. She stared at him wanting to be afraid, wanting to hate him but instead feeling aroused, excited.
She covered her mouth with a trembling hand and rose to her feet putting much needed distance between them. Rage and desire warring within her. How could he treat her like this? How could he make her feel this way?
“What’s wrong?” James rose to his feet and looked at her alarmed, that same expression he’d had when she’d told him to drive her home. How could a man be deceitful and innocent at the same time?
She pounded him in the chest with her fist, not enough to hurt him but enough to release some of her frustration. He didn’t flinch or even blink, he continued to look at her in a way that made her want to shake him and kiss him at the same time. “You should go.”
He rested his hands on his hips and sighed. “Ava—”
“Just go.”
“It will be better tomorrow. I promise.” He flashed a Jackson grin. “I’m not on my A game tonight. Don’t worry, I’ll—”
“I’m not worried,” she said in a flat tone.
“Good.”
“Are you?”
He shook his head. “No. I want this.”
She looked into his eyes wishing she could read his mind, but unable to hold his gaze long she looked away. “Good.”
He walked to the door. “Tomorrow will be better.”
She opened the door for him. “Because we’ll be husband and wife.”
He walked through then turned to her. “Right.”
“And you’d better show up. I won’t take being the jilted bride well.”
“I’ll be there.”
“Good.” She waved goodbye then closed the door. “Or there will be hell to pay.”
Chapter 6
He’d briefly lost his mind. That was the only way to explain it. Between the hard couch and her soft mouth he’d gone insane and crossed the line.
James rested his head on the steering wheel. He’d made an ass of himself. He’d almost blown his cover too all because…all because he wanted to. He could lie to himself and say that he hadn’t wanted her to feel unsure, especially when she mentioned him not touching her, he wanted her to feel good, but that wasn’t the reason. He’d worked hard to keep her a little unsure all evening so that she wouldn’t notice any differences between him and Jackson.
He’d kissed her for purely selfish reasons. He’d wanted to. He’d always wondered what her raspberry lips would taste like, the sensation of feeling the soft give of her breasts against his chest. But he’d forgotten one thing—she didn’t like him.
He’d noticed the subtle signs from the beginning, how she kept her distance from him, how she gravitated towards his brother, instead of him. But if he’d been given the choice he would have offered to marry her instead.
Tonight he’d pretended she was his and he’d felt her respond to him in a way that made him crave more, then she pulled away and stared at him with a look he’d never seen before. Was it horror?
It was something that struck him to the core and for a wild moment he feared he’d exposed himself. Jackson was always free with the ladies, hadn’t he kissed her like that?
He felt like a guilty fool. Indulging in a fantasy that would never be his. A woman like Ava was out of his reach, no matter how much he could pretend to be Jackson, he never would be that charming nor have the charisma. Could she tell the difference? He felt sick and humiliated that a woman would respond to him that way. Not any woman—Ava Hughes.
He still remembered the blue dress she’d worn the first time he’d met her, the way she’d quickly pulled her hand from his as if he’d burned her. He was keenly aware of her wary gaze, wondering if his initial attraction to her had been evident. He was careful, few people could tell what he was thinking, but something about him seemed to put her on edge no matter how much he tried.
But never again. He’d learned his lesson.
He’d done his brother a favor and now everything was back in place. Lusting after his future sister-in-law wasn’t in the cards. She’d never know what he’d done, but it was something he’d never forget.
His cell phone rang. “Where
’s my car?”
James sighed, that was typical Jackson. Not, How are things? Is she okay? But, Where’s my car?
He was tempted to say that he demolished it, instead he disconnected and turned the ringer off, knowing he’d have a series of messages and texts when he finally looked again.
The smell of ginger bread greeted him when he entered the family house. He had an apartment in town, but presently lived in the European style mansion. He headed for his bedroom but stopped when he noticed a light on in the library. He walked inside and saw his mother asleep on the tan leather couch, wrapped in a pink robe, her matching fuzzy slippers on the hardwood floor. James glanced at his watch, it was past eleven she should be in bed.
He grabbed a throw from the back of the chair and gently placed it over her.
“It’s about time you came home,” she mumbled. She sat up, running a hand through her short, silver afro.
“What are you doing up?”
She slipped her feet inside her slippers and stood. “Waiting for you to tell me what’s going on.”
James glanced towards the stairs.
“Don’t worry, Edgar doesn’t know, but he was a little suspicious.”
James sighed and let his shoulders droop. “I—”
“Tell me in the kitchen.”
Moments later they sat in the breakfast nook with ginger bread and a plate of sliced bananas and oranges.
“You were out late,” Flo said. “Where have you been? What have you been up to?”
Kissing my brother’s fiancée. “There’s nothing for you to worry about.”
“I will anyway. Why did you pretend to be Jackson at the rehearsal dinner?”
Damned if I know. “Jackson had a case of cold feet, but he’ll be ready tomorrow.”
“Poor James,” Flo said, stroking his cheek. “You had to come to the rescue as always.”
“Not always.”
“Remember when you had to convince Jackson to finish his degree? Dump that piano teacher who was only after his money?”
“No, that was the swimsuit model.”
“I thought the swimsuit model was the one with the husband.”
“No, that was the lawyer.”
Flo shook her head. “Your brother has terrible taste in women.”
“Which is why he was panicking tonight, he thinks Ava may be one of his mistakes.”
Flo looked at him for a long moment. “And what do you think?”
“I don’t know.” He shook his head. “I don’t think so. Edgar vetted her.”
“But we both know sometimes Edgar cares more about the business than the person.”
“I don’t think there are any skeletons in the closet. Besides, it’s too late now.”
“Do you think she suspected anything?”
Almost. “No.” He set down his fork. “Thanks for that.”
She took the plate away. “Do you want anything else?”
James sat back in his chair and watched her place the dish in the sink, a wave of sadness crushing his heart and briefly touching his eyes with tears. Yes, please don’t die. Don’t be sick anymore. Give me a couple more years with you. But he knew that was a request she couldn’t grant him. The bone cancer was aggressive, the doctors—she’d visited three just to make sure—had given her six more months.
It had started as a swelling in her arm last year, followed by unexpected weight loss and fatigue before Edgar convinced her to see a doctor.
The stage III diagnosis was something none of them wanted to hear for a woman in her mid-fifties with hopes for the future.
Before Jackson’s engagement, his mother had fought depression along with suffering the pain of her disease, her energy had gotten weaker, as if the cancer was taking hold at a faster pace than expected, but after his announcement she’d gotten brighter, her energy more vibrant. She’d blossomed under the thrill of working with Ava to arrange and plan everything, which was why this wedding had to take place. It was her final wish to see one of her sons married. James half wondered if Edgar had made the arrangement with Ava with that thought in mind, but doubted it. His stepfather wasn’t a man known for sentiment. However, James would make that wish come true if he had to drag his brother down the aisle himself.
Unfortunately, he didn’t get the chance.
Chapter 7
He found his brother looking resolute and defiant as he sat on the edge of his bed. Jackson rarely stayed at the family house, but had agreed to do so, so that he and James could arrive at the wedding together. James looked at the cell phone in his brother’s hand.
“What are you doing?” James asked, coming into the room. “We have to leave.” His mother, Edgar and Rudy had already gone ahead of them.
“I need to call Ava first.”
“Why?”
He shook his head. “I’m sorry. There’s something about her—”
“Just go through the ceremony. We can figure the rest out later.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Stop saying that.”
He lifted his phone ready to call her. “I can’t marry her.”
James grabbed the phone before he could. “You have to.”
“No, I don’t.”
James silently swore. “It’s too late. Do you know what day it is today? It’s your wedding day. Not a rehearsal, not an engagement. It’s the main event.”
“I know that.”
“You have to show up.”
“No, I don’t.”
“You can’t jilt her.”
“It’s better than making a mistake.”
“The wedding is in less than an hour,” James said through gritted teeth. “And you’re just figuring this out now?”
“I told you how I felt last night.” He held out his hand. “Give me my phone.”
“No, I won’t let you do this.”
Jackson stood and walked past him, heading to the door. “I’ll go to her instead.”
James grabbed his arm and spun him back around. “Stay away from her,” he warned in a low voice. “The only moment you’ll see her is when you’re prepared to say ‘I do’.”
Jackson yanked his arm away. “That’s the point. I’m not.” He walked out the door and headed down the stairs. “I have to stop this.”
James followed close behind. “You can’t. Edgar depends on you and Mom needs this.”
Jackson paused, gripping the railing. He closed his eyes. “I just feel like…” He let his voice fall away then folded his arms. “We’re doing this for Mom.”
“Yes,” James said, pleased his brother was starting to understand the magnitude.
“Mom wants a wedding.”
“Yes.” He slapped him on the back. “Now come on.”
Jackson didn’t move, a cunning expression crossed his face. “I’ve got an idea.”
James read the expression and frowned. “No.”
Jackson held up his hand. “Just listen. It will work. You do the ceremony.”
“No.”
“And then we’ll switch places at the reception. I’ll handle everything from there.” He playfully punched James in the side. “Race you to the car.” He dashed down the rest of the stairs.
James ran after him. “You’re crazy.”
Jackson grabbed his car keys from the table in the foyer and tossed them in James’s direction. “So are you.”
James caught the keys then followed him outside. “No, I’m not.” He pointed the keys at the Porsche and unlocked it. “I’m not doing this again.”
Jackson smiled at him over the hood of the car. “Yes, you are.”
“Why would I marry Ava in your place?”
“Because then the marriage would be invalid.” He sat inside the passenger seat.
James got in the driver’s seat and started the ignition. “And why do you want the marriage to be invalid?”
“Because I don’t trust her.”
“I don’t care.” James turned and backed the car out of the drivew
ay. “I’m still not doing it.”
“Either you do this or I tell Ava the truth.” Jackson took off the yellow flower on his tuxedo, the color was the only thing that distinguished him from his groomsmen. “Either way I’m not getting married today.” He reached over and pinned it on his brother’s tux then patted it in place. “Just say the vows and give Mom the wedding she wants then at the reception I’ll take over. Do we have deal?”
James shifted gears with force, realizing he didn’t have a choice. “I’ll get you for this.”
James still remembered his brother’s smug grin as James stood beside Ava in the church, although, to his relief, he hadn’t stumbled over his vows as Jackson had during the wedding rehearsal. But his cover had nearly been blown early in the ceremony as the wedding march played and Ava walked towards him when Rudy said in a loud whisper, “But Mom, I thought Jackson was supposed to marry Ava.”
His mother quietly told him to hush, but his anxious glance darted between his two brothers.
“But Mom,” Rudy said, growing more agitated, “but Mom, why is James up there? Jackson’s in the wrong place. We practiced this and they forgot—”
“Quiet,” Flo warned in a low voice, “or I’m taking you outside and you’ll miss everything. Do you want that?”
He bit his lip and shook his head but looked at James confused. James forced himself to look away feeling guilty for the look of misery on his brother’s face. He glanced at Jackson who was instead ogling one of the bridesmaids in a way James never would.
Ava appeared at his side and didn’t seem to have heard or noticed his brothers. He was sure if she suspected something she would stop the wedding, but she didn’t, so he felt his secret was safe.
“I now pronounce you husband and wife.”
James swallowed, not daring to look at Jackson as he gave her a quick kiss, knowing he had nothing to prove—everyone knew this wasn’t a love match—and he didn’t want to give himself away. But even the light touch of her lips against his seemed to send an electric charge through him. He made the mistake of meeting her gaze and saw them narrow a little. He smiled in a way he knew his brother would and quickly looked away. He then took her hand and led her down the aisle to the sound of joyous applause.