by Tessa Teevan
“It’s strictly job-related, Brie. There are aspects of this that are classified, and I could get fired if I divulged too much. But I will tell you the truth of who I am and how I became Agent Phillips.”
She nods meekly. “I’m listening, Rafe.”
“That being said, anything I divulge, you cannot repeat,” I insist. “Ever. It could be a matter of life and death. I’m still undercover, Brie, and besides Agent Howard, you’re the only one who knows who I really am. To Morningstar, I’m probably the prick asshole who stole his woman from right under his nose. He has no idea that I’m actually protecting you. That protecting you has always been in the forefront of my mind. It always will be. I’ll protect you with my life. Always.”
“I understand,” she says, ignoring my last sentiment.
I take a seat on the coffee table and reach for her hand, but she pulls it out of my grasp. Sighing, I decide to bite the bullet and let it all out.
“Despite my parents’ wish for me to go to medical school, I knew from a young age that I wanted to work at Matthews Construction. As a kid, I frequently went to the jobsite with my father, doing whatever I could to help out. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to get me hooked on the idea of working with my hands. I thought I had it made. A solid plan for after high school. Dad, however, wanted me to go to college. If I was going to take over the business one day, I had to have a college education. That’s why I went off to school. I wanted to keep working with Dad during those years, but he refused to let me. He wanted me to do something else and experience college life to ensure that taking over the business was really what I wanted.”
I pause and glance at her, but her face is a blank slate. Clearing my throat, I continue. “I still wanted to make cash during college, so I got a security gig at Morningstar. It wasn’t glamorous, but it paid the bills.”
As I unload the inconsequential details of my four years at Morningstar, her expression is unreadable. Her mouth forms a little “O” sometimes, and her eyes slightly widen, but I have no idea how she’s receiving this.
“After graduation, I was approached by the agency about doing undercover work. I didn’t know it at the time, but my having worked at Morningstar is why they chose me. Since I’d already had an established cover, that’s where the whole Agent Phillips part comes in. At the agency, no one knows me as Rafe Matthews. They know me as Tony Phillips. But I am Rafe. The man you met, the man I’ve always been with you, is who I really am. The only thing I kept from you was my reason for being there. Everything else was genuine. I promise you. The man you knew—the one you know—is the real me. I just happen to have a side job that I had to keep secret to protect you, and to protect the integrity of the case. If I could have told you the truth, I would have. I swear it, Brie.”
I’m not proud of my pleading tone, but if that’s what it takes to get my point across, I don’t care. I’ll do anything to make her believe me.
“Wow,” she whispers, not looking at me. “So let me get this straight. You’re an undercover agent for some government agency that I’ve noticed you haven’t disclosed.” She pauses and I nod, but remain silent. She apparently gets it and continues. “Your cover is that you’re a respectable construction company owner, but it’s not just your cover. You actually do own and work at Matthews Construction?”
“Yes, exactly.” I let out a relieved breath, thrilled that she gets it without my having to go too much into detail.
Her brows knit together. “Why were you special because you worked at Morningstar? They’re under investigation? Ever since you graduated college?” I watch as she does the math in her head. “For that long? And why Adrian? Why now?”
I tilt my head back and look up at the ceiling. I should’ve known she’d be curious about the actual investigation. When I look back at her, she’s watching me intently, as if she’s waiting to hear the most scandalous story. “Look, Brie, I want to tell you everything, but the actual case? Part of it’s classified. The less you know, the better. And it’s not because I’m trying to keep anything from you.”
She releases a sigh of disappointment, but gives me a swift nod. “I understand, Rafe. It’s just... I knew there were things about Adrian’s life that were…unsettling, but I never expected this.”
“It’s not just Adrian, Brie. Hell, it’s not really about Adrian. The investigation is more focused on Theo.” She frowns, and I scramble to figure out how to explain this without saying too much. “Think… An Insidious Martha Stewart meets Al Capone and they go into business together.”
“Holy shit,” she whispers. “So… is that why you got close to me? To find out what I knew?” Her eyes glisten with unshed tears.
“Absolutely not. From the moment I met you, Brie, I knew you were a game changer for me. Whether you knew anything about the Morningstars or now, I wanted you.” I hold my breath until she gives me a shaky smile.
“Well, I guess that’s a good thing, given that I didn’t know a damn thing about Theo.” She snorts. “I guess I didn’t know a damn thing about Adrian either.”
I brace myself, waiting for her to say the same of me, but she doesn’t.
“There’s one more thing you need to know, Brie,” I tell her.
Her eyes meet mine, narrowing slightly. “What more could there possibly be?”
“I don’t know how to say this…so I guess I’ll just come out with it. Your dad… He was working for the agency as well.”
“What?” she exclaims as her hands race to the spot over her heart. “He couldn’t have been. There’s no way my dad was leading a double life.”
I shake my head and hold up a hand to stop her. “No, it wasn’t like that. He wasn’t an agent.” I blow out a breath, hoping like hell that this isn’t too much for her to handle. “He was more of a whistleblower. He had insider information on Theo Morningstar’s shady business deals and was working with the agency to help bring him down.”
Utter shock appears on Brie’s face as her mouth falls open, her eyes turning round as dinner saucers. I quickly do my best to give her what little details I can.
“I don’t know how he did it, but like I said, he had insider information, but he was having a difficult time getting hard evidence. He thought someone was on to him and that’s why he’d been denied access to certain drives in his office. When he shared his suspicions with the agency, they wanted him to pull back from the operation, at least for the time being. The Paris trip was arranged, in hopes that his going on vacation and getting away from the office.” She chokes back a sob, splintering my heart. “Before they could…”
“Before we could leave, they killed him,” she finishes for me. “Keep going. Please, Rafe. I need to know what he was doing.”
I wish I could tell her more about her father, but I’ve probably already said too much. Instead, I delicately highlight our own investigation of the murders, and how the agency couldn’t tie Morningstar to it, but we had our suspicions.
After all is said and done, Brie stands and paces the room. My heart is racing as I wait for her to say something—anything. She’s staring at the floor, her gaze intense with her lip drawn between her teeth. She’s trying to let what she just learned sink in, but the silence in the room is deafening. The longer she refuses to look at me, the more worried that this is too much for her I become. That I really have lost her. A surge of panic rushes through me and unleashes before I can contain the swell.
I stand and brace my hands on her shoulders when I reach her. She jerks and looks up at me, daggers blazing in her eyes. My head bows for a brief moment. I have to be careful. I can’t overwhelm her any more than I already have, but I do have to make my point clear.
“Dammit, Brie. I can’t take this. I have to know what you’re thinking,” I plead, hating this silence.
Her nostrils flare, and she bites her damn lower lip again. Then her hands push mine away, and she steps backwards, balling her fists at her sides. “Don’t touch me right now,” she whispers. While I can
hear the anger in her voice, it’s more pleading, as if she needs time to wrap her brain around all of this.
I deserve this. I know I do. But the more she pushes me away, the harder I’ll push back. I’ll do anything to get her forgiveness, and for her to trust me again. Anything.
“I never wanted to lie to you, and when I could, I told the truth.” I step forward and pick up one of her tiny fists. It won’t do much damage, but if it’s what she needs, I’ll happily agree to be her personal punching bag. “Touch me, Brie. Do what you have to, whatever you need. Slap me, scratch me—hell, curse my name for the rest of eternity. Take what you need. Just, please, when you do, take me, too. That’s the biggest truth in all of this. I’m yours, and that will never change. I’ll do anything I can to prove that to you. Anything.”
Her eyes widen—I’m getting through to her. So I take my chances and push a little further.
“Be pissed at me. But whatever you do, please, don’t shut me out. I’ll take all your rage, whatever you want to throw at me. But don’t ask me to walk away. It’s the one thing I can’t do.”
She swallows hard, but her eyes don’t leave mine as her anger fades. “Part of me wants to do that. Slap you, I mean,” she admits, shaking her head. Then she shrugs her shoulders. “But I’m not that kind of girl.”
“I’d let you. If that’s what it takes, if you need to let it out, I’m right here.”
“As tempting as that offer is, I’ll pass. Look, Rafe, this is just… It’s so much to process. I want to be angry. Hell, I am angry. I’m also confused. This whole situation is completely fucked up, and I have no idea how I landed in the middle of it.”
As momentary stupidity clouds my judgment, I raise an eyebrow at her as the memory of our very first encounter enters my mind. The look on my face must give me away, and I can see the moment it dawns on her. She scowls and punches me in the shoulder hard enough to push me backwards.
“Hey. I thought you weren’t that kind of girl.”
“You can’t charm your way out of this one, Matthews.” Her teasing tone sets my heart at ease.
Sure, it may take time for her to really be over my lies, but the way she’s lightened the mood makes me believe she can get past it. That is, until her smile falters and she takes a deep breath before looking up at me.
“Look, it’s going to take some time to wrap my brain around everything you just told me, and I have a feeling we’ll be discussing this on more than one occasion.” She pauses, leaving me on edge. “But the truth is, I can’t change how I feel, no matter how angry or hurt I may be.”
I hesitantly take a step forward, not wanting to scare her away. My Adam’s apple bobs up and down as I swallow. The way my heart is hammering is unsettling, but I have to know.
“And how is that, Brie? How do you feel?”
It’s probably unfair to ask the question when I won’t even admit what my own feelings are. But she put the bait out there, and I had to take it. She smiles wistfully then crosses her arms over her chest as if to ward off a phantom chill.
“You know, after my parents died, all I wanted was to be with them.”
“Brie,” I interrupt.
She shakes her head and holds a hand up, stopping me. “No, just hear me out,” she requests.
I nod. As she tears her eyes away from mine, she crosses to the window. The bright sunshine covers her body and gives her the warmth I wish she had sought from me. She stares out, her back to me, looking so small, so vulnerable, so fragile. I want to go to her, but I remain fixed in my spot even though it’s killing me not to hold her right now.
“I know we’ve talked about this before, but it’s the truth. The days when I would visit them at the cemetery were the worst. Here lie Andrew and Olivia Latham. Loving parents, all that. They were buried just as they had died: together. And some little part of me felt left out. We were a solid trio, and the fact that I was still here when they weren’t… It was unbearable at times.” A tear trickles down her cheek.
I have the urge to go to her, to wipe it away with a promise that I will always be here to do that. But she needs this, and I’ll give it to her.
“It’s not that I ever tried to actually make it happen. The feeling was just so overwhelming at times. The loneliness and the longing. I was suddenly thrust into a world where I had nothing and no one. And I no longer cared whether I lived or died.”
She pauses but doesn’t look at me. Then she runs her finger along the windowsill before continuing. “But when I was in that trunk and the water started rising, I realized that all of that had changed. More than anything, I wanted to live. I knew it wasn’t my time, and as much as I miss my parents, I wasn’t ready to see them again. As I took my last breath and the water invaded my lungs, I was sure I was a goner. That was it. My life was over before it had even begun. And then, instead of seeing my life flash before my eyes, I saw my future. The one I was destined to have. All the reasons I wasn’t there that night with my parents began to play out in my mind. I saw it all, and it made me fight like hell to survive. It terrifies me that I was almost too late. You…you were almost too late.”
She ends in a whisper, tears falling down her cheeks. My heart constricts as I wonder what she means.
“What did you see, Brie?” I ask, taking a step towards her.
Finally, she turns, and even through the tears, a faint smile plays on her lips. “You, Rafe. I saw you. All I ever see is you.”
I have to touch her. In two quick strides, I’m standing before her, my hands gripping her hips as I gaze down at her. “Tell me you mean it, Brie. That this isn’t just a temporary reprieve. That, tomorrow, after you’ve had time to think, you’re not going to change your mind. That you’re not going to walk away and leave me.”
Fresh tears glisten in her eyes as she places one hand on her belly and the other on my chest, just over my heart. My breath catches, and I cover her hands with mine.
“I have the two most important things in the world right here, Rafe. Why would I ever walk away from that?”
I swallow hard, trying to find the right words to let her know that this is what I want. Clearing my throat, I proceed to speak from the heart and hope she’ll be receptive. “Brie, you shouldn’t. Don’t. I may have lied about some things, but I never lied about my feelings for you. Everything that happened between us was genuine. You have to know that. You need to trust in that,” I implore, praying I’m getting through to her.
“But still, I need more.”
My heart falters as she gazes up at me, her expression unreadable.
“Show me you, Rafe. You’ve used your words. Now, show me who you really are.”
My brow wrinkles as I look down at her. “You know me, Brie. The man I’ve always been with you is the man I am.”
“I trust that. I really do. But, Rafe, you’re a big, hot, buff, construction-worker, government-agent badass. You’ve been treating me like a fragile flower since the moment we met. I’m asking you not to do that anymore. Stop holding back. Unleash the beast,” she teases.
Only when she draws her bottom lip in between her teeth and raises an eyebrow do I realize she’s not teasing. She’s challenging.
I’ve never been one to turn a challenge down.
I grip her hips and lift her up. She wraps her legs around my waist, and I don’t waste my time. As I carry her back towards my bedroom, my heart—and my cock—swell.
This woman. She’s more than I ever expected. She could’ve walked out that door, slammed it shut, and put an end to us, just like that. It’s exactly what I’d deserve. Yet here she is. In my home. In my bed. In my heart.
“Rafe,” she scolds, tearing me from my thoughts.
“Mmm?”
“Stop thinking and fuck me.”
Yes, fucking ma’am.
As I cross the threshold into my room, she’s already working at undressing. Before her back hits the bed, she’s lost her shirt and her bra. She loosens her grip on my waist and gently falls onto
the mattress, a soft giggle escaping her lips. I stare down at her—she’s half naked, her eyes drunk with lust, her beautiful, brown hair fanned out all around her.
I’m a lucky motherfucker.
I don’t plan on wasting any time, so I make quick work of undressing. She doesn’t want me to hold back? Her wish is my fucking command.
Just as eager, she unbutton her jeans and pushes them down before I take over and slide them, along with her panties, off and toss them to the side. As soon as I free myself of my own clothes, I stand at the edge of the bed, drinking in the sight of her.
“Rafe,” she whispers, her hand held out and beckoning for me to join her.
So I do. Her eyes light up as I slowly crawl up the bed. Every inch of my skin touches hers as I make my ascent.
Straddling her legs, I brace my fists on the bed on either side of her. She’s watching me intently, and quick, hard, and fast fly out the window. Sure, we’ve been together twice since she left the hospital, but this time is different. As I study her face, I commit it all to memory.
The way her eyebrows rise ever so slightly when she’s aroused. Her hooded, brown eyes and her small, pert nose. I can’t get enough of her lips, plump and wet from her pretty, pink tongue, half parted as she takes a breath, waiting for my first move. The pink flush on cheeks—whether from embarrassment or desire. And her slender neck. God, what I would do to it.
“I’ve wanted to lose my mind with you. You drive me crazy, Brie. You have since the very first day. The way I feel for you is one giant paradox. I want to savor this,” I tell her as I run the back of my hand along her cheek. “But I also want to lose myself in you, fucking you so hard until you’re screaming my name, over and over again.”
“You’ve savored me before, and you can savor me again. Right now, give me hard, Rafe. Fuck me like you’ve always wanted to. Don’t hold back,” she pants, her hands sliding down the length of my back until they settle on my ass. Her fingers dig into my hot flesh, and she pulls me closer so my cock nestles right at her entrance.