“You should. Your life is important to you.”
“My family is important to me, but they would love you.” Emmett shoved a hand through his hair. So his dad and Callum might struggle with where she’d come from and some of the ways she phrased things, but they’d learn to love her quickly. “You’re right that the media is tough and being in the limelight sucks. I understand. Believe me, I do. My agent is forcing me to keep my early retirement under wraps and I hate that I’m basically lying to America, but you do what you have to do to keep everybody happy …” His voice trailed off at the way her blue eyes darkened.
Half a second passed as she blinked up at him, then finally said, “You’re retiring?”
Emmett clamped his lips together. He liked Cambree more than he should, but she was basically dumping him right now and he was spilling all his secrets. “We’re waiting to announce it.”
“Is that what you want?”
“No, but I have no choice.” He pointed to his knee angrily. Why would he want to give up the sport he’d loved since the day he started playing catch in the backyard with Creed? “I’ll never be back to a hundred percent.”
Cambree blinked up at him. “That’s not the Emmett Hawk that I know. The Emmett Hawk that I know would fight until he was even stronger than before.”
Emmett didn’t like the veer in the conversation, and it ticked him off that she thought she knew him, yet she didn’t know or trust him well enough to know he didn’t care about social status and that he’d never dump her if she said something wrong. “It is what it is.”
“I thought the Hawk brothers never quit.”
Emmett rubbed at his neck, which was burning hot. “I have no choice, Cambree, and you have no clue how hard it is.”
She simply stared at him. “Exactly. It’s hard because you have to keep up appearances, right?”
He couldn’t deny it.
“It’s too much, Emmett. You had to hide the truth about not being able to play again because you’re worried about your image. You’re a Hawk, and you all have to be perfect.” Cambree shook her head. “This just confirms exactly what I’m trying to explain. I won’t live like that.”
The silence between them was heavy and thick. Emmett felt like she was disappointed in him or something, but that wasn’t fair. She didn’t understand the pressure of the media and keeping up his family image. Well, maybe she did. Cold dread washed over him as he realized this was exactly what she was saying to him.
Finally, Cambree spoke again. “Like I said, I really like you, but we’re just too different, definitely not a fit. It’s just smarter to end it now before we get involved and somebody gets hurt. I’m sorry.”
Emmett didn’t think that deserved a response. His heart was already involved, but he would never pressure her. If this was truly the way she felt, he was out. He strode from her cabin and into the warm night air. Breaking into a jog, he headed for the lake. After a few days of heaven with an incredible woman who was better than anything he’d ever dreamed of, he was slammed back to reality. He guessed maybe she was right—it was better now than later—but even if they’d dated for years, he couldn’t imagine it could hurt any worse than this.
Chapter Ten
The next day was excruciatingly long yet too fast. Cambree wanted to savor each moment with Emmett before she said goodbye, but he was closed off and not himself, so the moments weren’t really that great. Not that she blamed him—she’d made the choice to not pursue a relationship with him, and she hadn’t even told him the whole of it, that she’d Googled all the pictures of him and Avalyn together. They fit so perfectly. She should’ve questioned him about their relationship, but it was easier to blame it on her unwillingness to be part of his wealthy crowd, which was also true.
If only he could understand how shattered she’d been after Nolan. Nolan had treated her like gold, elevating her from a life of hard work and making her feel like a princess. She thought she’d found the love of her life, and then, when she asked if the governor’s young wife was expecting at a state dinner—which she obviously was—Cambree became the jerk that everyone wanted to hate.
Nolan had escorted her from the dinner and explained her faux pas—the governor was already humiliated about being a fifty-year-old father who’d had an affair with a much younger woman, then divorced his older wife and married the new girl quickly. Everyone was expected to not talk about it, as the press were already going to slay him enough. Then Nolan got the text that he was off the governor’s staff because of Cambree. It had devastated him. He’d explained that she wasn’t cut out for his life, told her she was trailer trash and that he never should’ve given her a chance no matter how beautiful she was, and asked for the engagement ring back.
Before that night, Nolan had been nothing but attentive and loving to her, always laughing at her little quips and her honesty, telling her how refreshing and unique she was. To imagine Emmett telling her she wasn’t good enough for his life like Nolan had done made her heart twist painfully. Besides, Emmett already had someone who would be perfect for him—Avalyn.
The camp was officially over after dinner. Cambree had showered after an intense day of training, Emmett barking out commands like a drill sergeant; she’d just obeyed, not calling him “bossy man” once. He was also very careful not to touch her or even look at her, though she’d caught him glancing at her a few times before he averted his gaze. She hated that she was hurting him, but he’d realize soon that it was for the best. They were just raised too differently and had too different of lives and goals to try a relationship, even if there was no perfect Avalyn for him to be with.
Cambree put on a sleeveless summer dress, heels, and makeup for the first time this week. She hoped Emmett would notice, but she wasn’t being fair. She was being the Nolan and ruling him out of her life, but he would understand one day that it was easier now before they fell any deeper for each other. If only it didn’t hurt so much.
When she walked into the dining area, Emmett glanced up and she could see his chest expand as he pulled in a breath. He gave her a tentative smile. She started walking his way, but then Gunner grabbed her arm. “Wow! You clean up nice, pretty lady.”
Cambree laughed. She wanted to sit by Emmett, but it was better not to fall any deeper for him. It was for the best, but the pain in her chest kept growing and growing.
* * *
Emmett’s breath was knocked out of his body when he saw Cambree in a white sundress that showed off her tan, muscular shoulders, her dark hair falling long and loose down her back, and pink lipstick highlighting her perfect lips. He loved her. It hit him so hard. It had nothing to do with how gorgeous she was and everything to do with how amazing, tough, and genuine she was. Yet she didn’t want him.
Gunner grabbed Cambree’s arm and Britney slipped into the seat next to Emmett. The dinner passed miserably as Gunner flirted with Cambree and Emmett tried to endure Britney. She was a nice girl; she just wasn’t Cambree. At least Lucy made it fun and kept them all laughing.
They finished with a delicious chocolate cake. “Finally! You let me have sugar after this miserable week.” Lucy smacked her lips together and sighed. “Delicious.”
Emmett thought Cambree was much more delicious than any dessert, but he couldn’t have her, so he ate a big bite of the cake and agreed with Lucy that it was good.
“So Cambree’s off to win her next Warrior race in her hometown,” Lucy said, and everyone cheered. Emmett couldn’t help but catch Cambree’s eye. She gave him a shy smile and tucked a long curl behind her ear. Would she want him to come watch her race? No. If the media caught wind of him there, she wouldn’t like it. He needed to wrap his fat head around what she’d made clear last night—she didn’t want his lifestyle, or him.
When the dinner finally ended, Emmett walked outside and waited out front as the van pulled around. The staff loaded bags as the four participants told him and the trainers goodbye.
Britney gave him a quick hug. �
�This has been fabulous. Thank you.”
“Thanks.” Emmett was surprised she wasn’t trying to hit on him or anything.
She climbed in and Gunner pumped his hand, slapping him on the back. “I feel ready to take on the season. Hope I see you on the field in a year, man.”
Emmett pasted on a smile. He’d actually been able to put the pain of not playing this season to the back of his mind being busy with camp and especially falling for Cambree. Now he had nothing—no Cambree and no football. “Good luck,” he said to Gunner. “I’ll be cheering for you.”
Gunner gave him a grin and climbed in.
Cambree was next. He shouldn’t have done it, but he opened his arms and she snuggled up against his chest. Emmett’s breath rushed out of him, and he wrapped her up tight and simply held her. It was so right, so perfect. How could she walk away from this? How could he let her?
She pulled back, and he forced himself to let her go. Blinking up at him, her blue eyes were bright. “Thank you, Emmett Hawk. I wish you a happier life than anybody deserves.”
Emmett shook his head. She couldn’t wish him away. If she’d only give him a chance. “Cambree, please.”
She shook her head and backed against the van. “Bye,” she whispered.
Emmett wondered if he’d imagined the catch in her voice and the tear rolling past her thick lashes.
Lucy tugged at him, and he followed, even though all he wanted to do was throw Cambree over his shoulder and run away with her. When he and Lucy were a little distance away from the van, she put both her hands on his cheeks and shook him. “What in the Sam Hill are you doing?”
“She doesn’t want me,” he choked out, looking at the van and unfortunately able to see Cambree through the large windows.
“Don’t you be a dumby, boy. I love you two together. If she needs some space, I guess you gotta give it to her. I’ve seen magic before, but not quite like you two have.” She gave him a motherly hug, then stepped back and patted his cheek. “Don’t you give up.”
Emmett couldn’t give her anything.
She pushed out a sigh. “I’ll be praying for you, honey child.”
“Thanks,” he muttered. Prayer was about the only hope he had now.
Mark escorted Lucy into the van and shut the door. Emmett stood, watching Cambree’s beautiful profile in the window. As the van pulled away, she suddenly turned and looked at him, her blue eyes bright. The air whooshed from his lungs and he wanted to run after the van, holler for her to stay. She didn’t do anything but stare at him, though, and he didn’t do anything but stand there like an idiot, watching the most perfect woman he’d ever met be whisked away.
Chapter Eleven
Emmett was working with a youth group, fourteen- to sixteen-year-old football players, keeping himself busy and almost not moping every night for Cambree. He’d watched her in a race in California that he found online, and she did extremely well. She must’ve decided to do an extra race before the one in Breckenridge. She got second in the elite class. Her face at the finish line was happy but still determined. He could tell she wanted that number one. He wondered if she was keeping up on her training, and if she ever thought of him.
Mark came running into the weight room and yelled, “Emmett!”
Emmett blinked in surprise. Mark never got overly excited about anything.
“Your mom needs you.”
“My mom?” Why hadn’t she called his cell? He pulled it out and saw she had called, nine times. He turned his ringer off during camp, but he hadn’t even felt it vibrate. He took the phone Mark extended to him.
“You should take it outside,” Mark said.
Emmett’s gut filled with dread. He nodded and mumbled “excuse me” to the young athletes. Mark instructed them to come with him. He’d combine them with his group of four and he’d be fine.
Emmett walked into the vacant hallway. He lifted the phone to his ear. “Mom?”
A wail like nothing he’d ever heard came through the line. There was so much pain in that scream that Emmett’s hair stood on end. He wanted to sprint home and hold her.
“Emmett!”
“Mom?” His heart raced and his palms started sweating. “What’s wrong?”
“C-creed,” she managed to choke out.
Emmett leaned against the wall and slowly felt himself slide to the floor. He pulled his knees into his chest like a little child. “Please, no,” he muttered.
“Come … home,” his mom begged.
Emmett nodded, though she couldn’t see him. He couldn’t form words right now. Creed was gone. His brother. His best friend. Gone.
He looked up to see Tracy standing there, watching him like he was unstable. “I’m coming,” he finally managed to say.
“Love you,” Mom said. “I love you so much.” Then she was crying too hard to say more.
Tears pricked at Emmett’s eyes. Oh, his mom. How she loved her boys. How would she survive without Creed? How would any of them? “I love you too.”
Tracy stared at him as he struggled to stand. “What can I do?”
“Book me a flight home,” he muttered, banging through the exterior door and hoping he could drive himself to the airport without endangering anyone around him. Ah, Creed. Emmett had always thought if Creed died he’d know somehow, but he’d had no premonition. His heart screamed in pain and he heard himself cry out, “Creed!”
He sank to the ground next to his Lexus sport utility, sobbing out his anguish and muttering a prayer for his mom. How could his brother really be gone?
Chapter Twelve
Emmett, his brothers, and his dad took turns letting his mom cling to them throughout the next week. Their mansion in the Hamptons felt too big and too quiet without Creed and his smart-aleck mouth around. Even Bridger was subdued, and though they had lots of friends and family stop by, everyone was awkward and sad. Even Bridger’s brain-dead, usually hilarious friends were somber. Emmett hated it.
Late one night, his mom had finally cried herself to sleep again, and Emmett wandered out back by the pool, through the gardens, and down toward the waterfront. When he used to live at home, the rolling waves relaxed him. Now they made him think of Creed, the Navy SEAL who had grown up in the water and hardly ever wanted to leave it. The Navy hadn’t disclosed any details of his death. There had been no bodies recovered. Had he drowned? Been shot? Tortured? Emmett passed a hand over his face, hating the questions, hating the hole in his heart that would never heal, hating to watch his mom’s heart being shredded before his eyes.
“Hey, man.” Bridger strode up the path from the beach and stopped in front of him. “Want to walk?”
Emmett didn’t want to do much of anything, but he nodded and fell into step beside his brother. “How long you staying around?” Emmett asked as they meandered along the sand. It was beautiful with a half moon sparkling against the water. He loved where they’d grown up. The brothers were each two years apart and spent a lot of time together, but Emmett was having a hard time being here without Creed.
“I can’t handle it much longer, you know? Mom sobbing. Dad all nice. Even Callum gave me a hug today.” Bridger shuddered. “I hate it. I hate our family not being our family. I’m ready to go jump off a cliff in a wingsuit. Did you hear about the guy who jumped out of an airplane onto a net? No chute. That sounds like it would help me cope. But I can’t even stand the thought of Mom losing another son.”
Emmett completely agreed. He didn’t want to say it, knew Bridger would hate it, but it came out anyway. “Be careful, bro. I’m already afraid she’s never going to recover. If she lost you too …”
“I know, but it’s what I am. I’m an adventurer.” He pushed out a breath. “Don’t worry, I’ll be careful. The wakeboarding gig has been fun and the death ratio’s really low.” He smiled, then grimaced. “Sorry.”
“It’s you, buddy. It’s okay.” Emmett was reminded of someone else who was too honest. He wondered what Cambree was up to, wondered if she knew about Cr
eed. He wished they were close enough, or she cared enough, to come to him.
“Thanks. I’ll stay through the memorial or whatever they’re doing. Poor Mom. No body to bury, no clue how he died. The Navy really sucks, you know that?”
Emmett laughed bitterly. “Yeah, they do.”
Bridger glanced at him. “So what’s your deal? You quitting the NFL?”
Emmett shrugged. “I guess. Knee won’t ever be what it should be.”
“Bull crap. I was being a jerk and trying to rile you. My brother is not a quitter.”
Emmett stiffened. “I don’t have a choice, Bridge.”
“Um, yeah, you do. You’re the toughest guy I know. Well, next to Creed, but …” He shook his head. “Pull on your jockstrap and get to work, you loser.”
Emmett stopped walking and Bridger stopped and faced him. “Lay off, dude. I ruined my knee, all right? I’m not quitting. I’m being smart about my future. Maybe you should smarten up, then grow up and stop taking chances.”
Bridger’s face tightened, he growled, and he launched himself at Emmett. Emmett should’ve known it was coming, but he’d been all soft and sad about Creed and hadn’t had a brother attempt to take him out for a while. He slammed onto the soft sand on his back with Bridger on top of him. Bridger pushed his hands into his shoulders and yelled, “Fight me, you quitter!”
“No,” Emmett said. Bridger didn’t deserve the punch in the face that Emmett should give him.
“We are Hawks!” Bridger yelled in his face. “Creed would never give up. I don’t know how he died, but I know he died fighting. You get off your butt and fight, or I’ll beat you until you do.”
Emmett actually laughed, though thinking of Creed fighting to his death made him want to curl in a ball. “You could never beat me, you brain-dead adrenaline junkie who doesn’t care about anything but his next death-defying rush.”
The Determined Groom: Texas Titan Romances Page 9