by Grace White
“It wasn’t supposed to go down like that.” My eyes dropped away. “I … I just; it’s complicated.”
She made a clucking noise that had me rubbing the back of my neck with regret. “And how the hell was it supposed to go down? You fucking ripped her heart out in front of everyone, Kai. I had to get Ross to help me get her home. She went into total catatonic meltdown. I’ve never seen anything like it. Her sister almost shit a brick.”
Ross? Who the hell was Ross? Jealousy bolted through me, but then I latched onto the other thing she’d said. “Sister?” My eyes snapped up.
“Yes, the nice one. Do you really think you’d be standing here talking to me if the crazy one had been there?”
I rubbed my hand over my neck again and up over my head. I’d fucked up. Royally and completely fucked up. Isaac said it was for the best, that this was the only way to protect us both and to keep us from tearing each other to shreds. But if it was for the best, why did it hurt so damn much?
I wasn’t even going to go to the stupid dance, but then the talk with Mom got me thinking that maybe closure would be best for both of us. I wanted Daiya to know that I loved her—that part of me always would—but walking away was the only way to keep her safe. I hadn’t even considered how it might affect her. I hadn’t considered anything other than wrapping my arms around her one last time. God, I was a selfish bastard.
“You fucked up, didn’t you?” Poppy said as if she could read the thoughts running through my mind.
“Yeah, yeah, I did.”
“What is with you guys, huh? You want something, and then you don’t, and then you do again. I get whiplash just thinking about it.”
“Hmm, are you talking about me and Daiya or someone else?”
Her lips smashed together, and I knew I had my answer.
“I care about her, Poppy. Yes, I screwed up. Yes, I wish I could go back and do things differently, but I can’t, okay? Cut me some slack.”
Her eyes grew the size of saucers. “Cut you some slack? You’ve been practically stalking her, Stanton. Acting all alpha obsessed serial killer. Don’t think I haven’t seen the way you’ve been watching her. And then one day you turn up like nothing’s happened, like she’s no one to you, and I’m just supposed to play ball and help you out?”
“I get it, okay?” I leaned closer aware that we were drawing unwanted attention. “I. Screwed. Up. And I know you care about her and want to protect her, but so do I. You have my word.” Not that my word meant much, but it was all I had.
Poppy’s shoulders dropped, and I didn’t know whether I’d ground her down enough to help or she was about to deliver the final blow. “Look, I should get to class.” She went to move, and my stomach sank. She wasn’t going to help me—I’d gone too far. And I didn’t blame her; I couldn’t. If the roles were reversed, I wouldn’t have trusted me either.
But at the last second, she stopped herself and met my eyes. “I’ll keep you posted if I find out anything, okay?”
Relief washed over me. She hadn’t given up on me. I didn’t know why that affected me so much, but it did. “Thanks. I appreciate it.”
She shrugged, pushing her glasses farther up her nose. “Don’t thank me. Just make it right. You really hurt our girl, Stanton.” Poppy pushed past me and disappeared into the morning crowd, leaving her words like a knife to my stomach.
I’d been so consumed with her, so desperate to switch off the dark thoughts growing inside me that I’d sold Daiya out to Isaac. I realized that now, and I hated myself for it. It was an impossible situation. Return the amulet, and I’d be unable to control the urge to hunt her or keep the amulet and break my promise to Isaac, and he wouldn’t guarantee Daiya’s safety.
All I ever wanted was to protect her.
But at what cost?
Poppy didn’t come find me. So somewhere between the end of lunch and last period, I decided I’d have to ask Isaac. I needed to know if she was okay. I didn’t need to see her, but I just needed reassurance that she was okay. Or at least, that was what I kept trying to tell myself.
“Want to come hang out? Jack and Bobby and a couple of the other guys are coming over to shoot hoops.” Laker eyed me warily as I approached him. I was more myself, but I knew he saw past the façade. I guess that was what happened when someone knew you almost as well as you knew yourself.
Except he didn’t know everything about me. Not anymore.
“Maybe later. I have a thing.”
“A thing?”
“I’ll call you when I’m done, okay?”
“You’re not going to tell me, are you?” He shook his head in disbelief. “Just when I thought things were back to normal.”
I nudged his shoulder. “They are. I’m good, promise. I just need to do something first.” I could tell him the truth, that I was going to see Isaac, but that would lead to questions I didn’t have answers for yet.
“Okay, go do your thing and then get your ass over to mine. I intend to make the most of our downtime. It isn’t every week Coach gives us a free pass. We owe you,” he mocked, earning him a punch to the arm.
“Hey,” he whelped. “It’s not my fault that you’re Decker County history in the making. Do you know how many guys would kill to be in your shoes right now?”
“Laker,” I groaned. “The offer won’t come through until next semester.”
His lips twisted. “We all know it’s a given. They want you. So what’s to decide? I mean I don’t get it. It’s what you wanted, isn’t it?”
Of course, it was. Playing NHL hockey was my dream for as long as I could remember. But life had thrown me a curveball I hadn’t expected, and now, my head and heart were torn in two. How could I live a normal life and play professional hockey with this thing living inside me?
“You know it is, but it’s not that simple. I have to think about Mom when it comes to college.”
He stared at me like I’d grown a third eye, so before he could launch into another lecture, I said, “Go. Go shoot hoops. We can do the whole heart to heart later. Go.” I flicked my head over at his truck.
Laker shook his head again. “Okay. Don’t be long, or I’m coming to find you.” The threat rolled off me as I walked across the parking lot and out of the gates and toward the only person who could help me.
The derelict building on the edge of town was quiet, but Isaac’s car was parked alongside the wall, so I knew they were here. I glanced around before slipping inside. I’d only been here once without an invitation, but I figured it was okay or they wouldn’t have brought me here in the first place. As I moved down the long hallway, I heard voices.
“Know what you’re doing?” It was Michael. I ground to a halt.
“Michael, enough, we have been through this.”
“You’re blinded by your need for him to forgive you.”
What the …? I inched along the passageway, back almost pressed up against the brick wall.
“Do not speak of things you know nothing about.”
Michael grumbled something inaudible. He’d spoken more in the past thirty seconds than I’d ever heard him say.
“Rakesh will be …” A shuffling sound drowned out the rest of his words. After a few seconds, it stopped, and I could hear my father’s voice.
“Cannot know the truth. It could be disastrous for all us. We need to let things play out. It is done now.”
What was done? And why did I feel like I was not supposed to hear this conversation.
“The others will not like this. You’re playing a dangerous game, Isaac. If he finds out…”
My hand slipped, and the brick crumbled to the floor. My heart leaped into my throat as I heard footsteps coming in my direction. Shit. I turned around, and as quickly and quietly as possible, I retraced my steps.
“Anything?” Isaac called. They were close but not close enough. My hand reached for the door and pushed. Daylight flooded the dim entryway, and I stumbled outside, clicking the door shut behind me.
&
nbsp; It was a mistake coming here.
And as I jogged away, I couldn’t help but think I’d made a terrible mistake trusting Isaac.
DAIYA
“How are you feeling?” Demi came to the edge of the bed, placing the back of her hand against my clammy forehead. I didn’t need her to confirm I had a fever; I felt it burning underneath my skin. So I lied.
“I’m okay.” My voice was still hoarse from the tears I’d cried.
“Tell me what I can do?”
“Nothing. There’s nothing to do. He made his choice, so it’s done.”
She smoothed her hand over my face, brushing away the fine strands of hair that had escaped my headband. “You need to feed. Something has changed. You’re sick, Daiya. It’s been days, and you’re getting worse, not better.”
“No,” I said calmly. It wasn’t an option. “I feel okay.”
Another lie.
Something was changing inside me. I sensed my blood slowly transforming into something dark and ugly, withering and decaying.
“Daiya, please. I know you didn’t want this, but if you don’t feed, there’s every chance you won’t get better. And I need you to get better, do you hear me?” A tear slipped down her face as she clasped my hand in hers. “I need you to be okay.”
“Demi, this is my choice. There must be another way.” I was almost certain there wasn’t. Kai was my shot at being the person I always wanted to be; a normal teenage girl. I didn’t want a life of sleeping with faceless strangers and feeding off their energy. I never wanted that. “Maybe Heather can help.”
Demi had called the old woman twice, but so far, she hadn’t answered. Maybe it was too hard for her to accept the truth as well. I didn’t blame her, not after everything she had done for me. Like me, she had believed the prophecy; she’d wanted me to succeed.
“I know you’re scared and don’t want this, but once you get used to it, it isn’t that bad. I promise. It doesn’t have to be right away, but the sooner you do—”
I reversed our hands so that I was holding hers in mine. “Demi, no. I realize now why I’m different. I was never supposed to be like you or Devlin or Mom. It’s supposed to be this way. I choose Kai.”
Still glassy from the tears dropping down her face, her eyes clouded with confusion. “W-what do you mean you choose Kai?”
“I love him, Demi. I’m in love with him. I tried to tell myself that it was the prophecy, fate. Something that meant I have no free will over my feelings. But I am done being a puppet. I choose Kai. I choose love.”
She gasped as the realization of what I was suggesting sank into her bones. The moment it happened, the floodgates opened, and a torrent of tears gushed down her face. I leaned forward, wrapping my arms around her and whispering soothing noises into her hair.
I already felt it, the starvation seeping through my bones. When the thread had snapped, I’d shut down. Even the demon had quieted. But I felt it now, though, fighting for release, demanding that I give it what it wanted. I visualized the word ‘no.’ Thought it so hard that it had to listen, had to understand that it no longer held power. It was there, would be until the end, but it was nothing more than an irritating itch now.
After a few minutes, Demi regained her normal control. Shirking out of my hold, she wiped her soggy face with the sleeve of her baggy sweater and even managed to force a slight smile. “I love you so much, Daiya. Your friend came by the house twice. Poppy? You should call her. She’s worried.”
My eyes shuttered as I sucked in a deep breath. I’d been avoiding her ever since her and the guy from the party, Ross, had brought me home to Demi. She probably thought I was in bed with a broken heart … how would I ever tell her it was far worse than that?
The simple answer was I couldn’t.
“Daiya? Thank god, I’ve been going out of my damn mind. You could’ve called sooner or returned my texts. All gazillion of them.”
“I’m sorry.” It wasn’t enough, but it was all I had. “How are you?”
“How am I?” She shrieked down the line so loud I had to move the line away from my ear. “I wasn’t the one who got my heart trampled on in front of the entire class. I’m fine. It’s you I’m worried about.”
“I’m okay.”
“Liar.”
“It hurts, Poppy. It hurts so bad.” My voice cracked, and I swallowed the rush of tears. It was pointless to lie to her; she knew me better than that.
“If it makes you feel any better, I threw a paper projectile at his head in chem.”
“It does, thanks.” It didn’t, but she didn’t need to know that.
“Geez, I want to kick his stupid ass. I felt sure he was going to make it right. You guys looked so right for each other out there.”
“Poppy …”
“I’m sorry. Crap, I’m sorry. I just still can’t believe he did that. I mean it’s Stanton. He isn’t a bad guy, not like shitface. I knew better with that one.”
“You still haven’t talked to him?”
A heavy sigh came over the line, and I could imagine the face she was making. “Whatever false hope I had of me and dipshit working things out is just that—false hope. Don’t worry about little old me. Plenty more fish in the sea of life.”
“If he can’t see what’s right in front of him, then it’s his loss.”
“Yeah, his loss,” Poppy mumbled. “Anyway, when are you coming back? I miss you.”
“I caught a nasty stomach flu. When I’m better, you’ll be the first to know. I need my ride to school.”
“Bitch.”
And just like that, Poppy bought my lie. I probably wouldn’t ever return to Decker County High, but I didn’t have the heart to tell her that, not yet. She was my best friend, and I wanted to protect her from the truth for as long as possible.
“Well, hurry up and get better. I’ll text you tomorrow, okay?”
“Sure thing. Bye.” I hung up. The phone slipped out of my hand and landed on the comforter. When we’d moved here, I hadn’t planned to make friends. To meet Kai. But you couldn’t rewrite history. Not this time anyway.
If I didn’t feed, I would eventually die. That was the harsh truth of the matter. Did I want to die? Of course, not. I wanted to graduate and spend the summer hanging out with Poppy and Kai and even Laker and the rest of the guys. I wanted to go to college and attend classes and get dragged along to my first frat party.
I wanted to be normal.
But I wasn’t.
And finally, I was okay with that. Being Daiya Cattiva, a Lilituria, the girl of the prophecy, led me to Kai. And I wouldn’t give that back for anything. I’d loved and been loved in return even if only for a moment in time.
And it was enough.
It would have to be.
I blinked twice, adapting to the darkness. Where was I? Silvery streaks of light poured in through the blinds, my blinds.
I was in my bedroom.
And then I heard it—the clattering of glasses, the drunken laughter.
“You have got to be kidding me,” I grumbled, throwing back the covers and kicking my legs over the edge of the bed. My body ached; my head still sore from the number of tears I’d cried, exhausted from the starvation carving through me. But Devlin was out of her freaking mind to bring a guy back now. But as time went on, I realized she really didn’t care about any of it. The prophecy, me, Laker. She was on a path of self-destruction, and she didn’t care who she pulled along for the ride.
I shuffled across the room and opened the door. They were quiet now, probably making out in the kitchen. It wouldn’t be the first time I’d caught her. Tiptoeing downstairs, I was careful to avoid the loose board. Devlin let out a breathy giggle; she sounded wasted, which was unusual for Devlin.
When I rounded the hallway and came to the kitchen doorway, I could see a tall dark-haired guy pinning her against the counter; her head tipped back, giving him access to her bare skin. Unable to contain my frustration, I cleared my throat. The guy paused and turned
his head slowly, arrogantly. “Can we do something for you?”
Really? I wanted to say, but instead, I glared and addressed Devlin. “It’s late,” I snapped.
Devlin peeked from around the guy’s thick arm. “Daiya?” She slurred my name. Yeah, something definitely wasn’t right about this. Thinking on my feet, I said, “Dad will be home soon from his night shift.”
A confused expression had crossed her face before her head rolled back like a puppet.
“Dad? Fuck, you didn’t say anything about living with your parents.” He clutched the back of his neck, his eyes raking down her body once more as if he was undecided whether to leave or stay. But when I added something about waking Mom, he started to back away from her. “Hmm, I should go.”
I stepped out of his way, letting him pass while keeping one eye on Devlin slumped against the counter. He disappeared down the hallway, and I heard the front door open. I rushed over to her, taking her weight as best I could. “Come on, let’s get you to bed so you can sleep it off.”
“Daiya? I feel funny.” Her words were barely audible, and I wondered what he’d slipped her to override her usual sharp sense of judgment. Devlin liked her guys feisty and enjoyed a drink as much as the next college freshman, but she liked to be the one in control. Always.
“Come on.” I helped her to her bedroom, grabbing her a glass of water and making sure she was on her side in case she puked. It wasn’t the first time I’d seen her like this. Sometimes, the urge to feed outweighed everything else.
I left the door ajar so that I could hear if she needed me and went back down to lock up, sighing when I realized the douchebag hadn’t shut the front door properly. I peeked out of the gap, glancing left and then right. The street was quiet with no signs of life. Gripping the handle, I was about to close the door behind me when I heard a cry. I should’ve known. Should have gone back inside and called the cops. But I found myself walking to the end of the porch and listening for a sign that someone—or something—was in trouble. When there was nothing but the sound of the gentle breeze in the trees, I turned to go back inside. I didn’t see the cloaked figure standing the shadows. Didn’t feel them approach until the hand wrapped around my mouth and yanked me back sharply, my upper body muscles tearing with pain.