“Well, you’d better rethink your plan,” Eric said, neither applauding Gage nor condemning him. Considering that Eric had never been on Gage’s list of favorite people, he had provided a calming influence for the Logan family. And he obviously loved Gage’s mother deeply. For that, at least, Gage was grateful.
“I am. I’m going to file for full custody. Noelle, I wanted to ask you for the number at your dad’s law office.”
Noelle’s father, Samuel Jensen, was an attorney specializing in family law. “My job is very demanding, and if I’m granted custody, I’ll need to procure a reputable babysitter or a part-time opening at a day care center, at the very least.”
“Be careful with day care centers,” Noelle cautioned him. “The best ones will have long waiting lists.”
Gage thanked his sister-in-law for her advice and added reluctantly, “Zach has already been going to day care part-time in Tucson. And speaking of childcare, I’ll need to find a babysitter for Saturday and Sunday. I was able to take tomorrow off, but one day is all I get for now.”
“We can watch Zach for you on those days, Gage,” Noelle said. “As long as you don’t mind us taking him to church.”
“We’re going to a different ward on Sunday, Noelle,” Pierce reminded her.
“I’m sure it’ll be fine.” Turning to Gage, she explained, “We’ve been invited to a baby blessing in Queen Creek on Sunday, but we can still watch Zach.”
“I’ll just need to find him a suit,” Gage said.
“I’ll call my brother and ask if he might have an outfit that his son has outgrown. And Caleb will be thrilled to have a new cousin to play with, won’t you, Caleb?” she added, turning to her son, who was staring at the adults in wide-eyed wonder.
“Uncle Gage, I didn’t know that you’re a dad.”
Pierce looked at his son and then back at his brother before mocking, “Yeah, I wonder what else Uncle Gage has been hiding from us. Maybe he’ll tell us next that he owns a kangaroo Down Under.”
“Huh?” Caleb asked.
“Daddy’s just trying to be funny,” Noelle said quickly. “You know how he and his brothers are always joking around with each other.”
This time, though, Gage knew this was no joke. He sighed, deciding to let the criticism go. Because even though he would like to retaliate, Gage was more concerned about his mother’s reaction at the moment. Or lack of one, rather. Other than her initial outburst, she hadn’t said anything else throughout the entire discussion. Gage hoped he hadn’t put her into cardiac arrest with his announcement.
Looking over at her, he saws tears in her eyes. “Sorry, Mom. I don’t know what to say.” Which, for him, was a first. “I guess I’m just not the kind of guy you’ve wanted me to become.”
“That’s a cop-out and you know it!” Pierce yelled. “You’ve had the chance to turn your life around. And yet you’ve walked away from everything Mom and Dad taught us!”
“Oh, yeah? And what did Dad teach us?” In the heat of the moment, Gage stood and stared Pierce down. His voice held an icy edge. “That work was more important than everything else, including his own family? Seems to me I learned his lessons really well.”
“Pierce,” Noelle said when Pierce looked like he wanted to say something more. She gently shook her head at him, inclining it toward Sarah, whose tears were falling in earnest now. “This isn’t the right time for that.”
Pierce took one look at their mother and snorted before fixing his glare on Gage once again.
Gage’s chest tightened. He’d been a wilder teenager than Pierce and their older brother, Craig, but had straightened his life out and had been looking forward to serving a mission. The call had come just before his parents’ marriage had finally collapsed, bringing all of his insecurities and frustration back to the surface. It had been too much to handle, the feeling of helplessness as they fought and the guilt for knowing that he’d played a significant role in the Logans’ shame. To top it all off, he was scheduled to leave on his mission in two months’ time to teach the people of Chile that true peace and happiness came from changing their lives and accepting the gospel of Jesus Christ. Missing that same peace that had eluded his own family for so long, Gage had not accepted the call.
Pierce hadn’t fared much better. Jared and Sarah’s divorce became final when Pierce was almost ready to come home from his mission. Even though he stuck it out, he’d had a few hang-ups to work through before marrying Noelle five years ago. He’d been afraid to take a chance on love. Fortunately, Noelle had shown him that through faith and commitment, their relationship would work out.
Pierce and Noelle quietly cleared the table and packed the extra food away. Eric stayed by Sarah’s side, a forlorn expression making his face appear longer.
Gage’s stomach clenched. His mom wouldn’t even look at him. “Mom?” he asked tentatively.
She shook her head and sniffled. “I’m sorry. I can’t have this discussion with you right now. Please excuse me.” She stood and abruptly left the room.
Gage couldn’t blame her. He wished he could run away from himself too. Pierce took advantage of the lull to leave the room as well, telling Caleb to grab his soccer ball so they could go home. His jerky movements and rigid back spoke of his anger.
Gage’s heartache at his mother’s disappointment was coupled with the regret of watching father and son in perfect harmony as Caleb asked Pierce if they could kick the ball around for a few more minutes. Until that moment, Gage hadn’t thought about all the things he’d missed out on with Zach.
Noelle shrugged apologetically. “I’m sorry, Gage. You’ll have to excuse Pierce. He’s always been very protective of your mother. Your news is going to take some getting used to.” She wrote a phone number on a piece of paper and handed it to him. “This is my dad’s number. He’ll be happy to help you.”
“Thanks, Noelle.” Gage pocketed the slip of paper. “I’m sorry, Eric. I don’t know what to say. I’ve screwed up big time.”
Eyeing Gage sympathetically, Eric said, “Give your mother some time. She’ll come around. In the meantime, I suggest that you come up with a workable plan on how to become a real father to this boy. That’s going to take a major sacrifice on your part, considering that you’ve come and gone as you pleased through the years. You’d better decide if you’re in this for real or if it would be better to let someone else take care of him.”
“As far as I’m concerned, there is no one else. I’m in this for real.”
Eric nodded sagely. “Glad to hear it. Bring him by next weekend, if you can. We’d love to meet him.”
Gage couldn’t help thinking that it should have been his own father saying the words, but he appreciated his stepfather’s offer nonetheless. “I’ll see if I can. Thanks.” Knowing that he’d worn out his welcome, he stood to put his plate and utensils in the dishwasher. “I think I’d better go. Tell Mom I love her and that I’m sorry. I’ll call her in a few days.”
Once he was in his car, Gage released the breath he’d been holding. He rubbed his tired eyes and then ran his hand through his hair, missing the longer thickness. At times like this, he wished he could grab it and yank.
Gage growled in frustration. April wasn’t the only one who needed to put her life back together. He needed to make some serious changes as well.
Valerie momentarily stopped scrubbing the smudges of makeup off the walls to watch her brother-in-law, Brent, run the steam cleaner back and forth with precision. As the powerful machine picked up the residue of the gooey substance, Valerie began to hope that the carpet hadn’t been ruined. Her oldest sister, Chloe, was in the living room reading bedtime stories to Whitney and Justin after brushing their teeth and helping them find their pajamas. Thankfully, Brent and Chloe’s children were now old enough to stay home by themselves.
Brent turned off the steam cleaner, indicating the area where her liquid foundation had formed a puddle in the carpet. “I’ve gone over the floor twice but that makeup went down
pretty deep in this spot and we’re almost out of cleaning solution.”
Valerie nodded. “I used some when Justin smashed a banana into the living room carpet last week.”
Brent shook his head. “You’re going to have to do something about that kid.”
Valerie chuckled even though his comment rankled. “Like what? Institutionalize him?”
“No. I just meant that you’re going to have to keep a closer eye on him. Otherwise, you’re going to have to pay to replace your grandparents’ things before they get home.”
He had a point. Still, Valerie turned away in irritation and left the room, not bothering to tell her no-nonsense brother-in-law that she’d stored her makeup case on the top shelf of her closet and that Justin must have climbed up to get it. He wouldn’t understand, anyway.
When she entered the living room, Chloe was just finishing reading the last book. Whitney was nodding off. Justin’s yawn told Valerie that he wasn’t too far behind. She gently lifted Whitney’s shoulders off the couch, prodding her to stand up. “Tell Aunt Chloe thank you.”
“Thank you, Aunt Chloe.” Whitney gave her aunt a hug.
Chloe returned the embrace. “Sure thing, sweetie. Be a good girl for your mom, okay? You’re her number one helper.”
“I know. What would she do without me?” That earned a chuckle from the adults, who knew that Whitney was simply repeating Valerie’s oft-repeated accolade.
Valerie pulled Whitney into her arms, loving the feel of her soft body. “Sweet dreams. Run along to bed. I love you.”
“I love you, too, Mommy.”
Valerie watched her go and turned to Chloe hesitantly. “Thanks for coming so quickly. I’m sure that’s what saved the carpet from being ruined. And thanks again for the clothes.” Chloe had brought over a garbage sack filled with clothing her children had outgrown after Valerie had spilled the whole sordid story to her over the phone.
“No problem, Valerie. I’m glad we could help.”
“We’ve run out of cleaning solution. I’m going to make a quick run to the store for more.”
“Since when is running to the store a quick trip?” Chloe quipped before adding with a sigh, “Hurry. It’s getting late and we need to get home to our own kids soon.”
“I know. Thanks, Chloe.” She got into her car and drove off as much to calm her nerves as to get the cleaning solution.
Gage passed a department store on his way home and pulled into the parking lot at the last second. He should make a list of all the things that Zach would need, but for now, Gage figured a few odds and ends to get through the weekend were in order.
He wheeled his shopping cart into the kids’ section, knowing from his visits that Zach liked dinosaurs and cars and trucks and basically anything with wheels. He grabbed toys and books, then headed over to the housewares aisle to pick up a few extra sheets and a blanket for the bed he’d recently purchased for the spare bedroom. Not that he’d anticipated needing to use it so soon. Zach had never been to Gage’s place before. Now he wondered if his subconscious had been trying to tell him something.
What else did he need? Night-lights? Toothbrushes? A dog? Hmm. Maybe I should think about getting a dog.
Remembering that he also needed a few basic items like paper towels and garbage bags, Gage headed in that direction next. His mind was so focused on whether or not Zach would like a Minion pillow or the Incredible Hulk one he’d seen, Gage absentmindedly looked at the woman with the pixie-like face and blonde hair approaching him from the opposite direction, barely registering her slight nod as she passed. A memory clicked into place, making him stop in his tracks.
He turned and looked back, surprise hitting him in the gut when he realized she’d done the same thing. She looked the same but different. More grown up. Gage looked her up and down. Heat suffused his face when he remembered how he’d embarrassed her upon hearing through her best friend that she was harboring a crush for his older brother. He’d been a jerk back then. Come to think of it, Gage thought with chagrin, that hadn’t changed. He offered her a reluctant smile. “Valerie Levington, is that you?”
Valerie’s heart began hammering in her rib cage. That deep voice could only belong to one person. Gage Logan, the boy who’d teased her mercilessly at church when they were teenagers. Gage always knew how to rile her when she was feeling particularly shy among the fourteen-year-old loudmouths in their Sunday School class and hadn’t let her forget the one time she mentioned to her friend that she had a crush on Pierce. Valerie’s cheeks still burned at the memory of him bringing the adolescent changes of her body to the attention of the other boys in their class. She’d hated him ever since.
She hadn’t seen him since the summer she’d graduated from high school and found Nick. Her mother had mentioned that he’d straightened himself out and received a mission call to Chile years ago. She’d even heard that he backed out of the call and became inactive soon after. No surprise there. But then she’d become engrossed in bottles and diapers and Gage had fallen off her radar.
She took a fortifying breath. “Actually, I’m Valerie Hall now. Hi, Gage.”
As he came closer, Valerie could see that Gage had matured and become quite good-looking. His hair had always been dark, but now it was shorter than she’d ever seen it. His face was fuller, his build slightly stockier. Fine lines were starting to form at the corners of his eyes, probably from too much sun. Though his brown eyes still held a hint of flirtation, they had dimmed over time. A slight hesitation had replaced his usual confidant air. “It’s been a long time, Valerie.”
“How are you?”
His smile slipped a little before he put it back in place. “I’m all right. How about yourself?”
Valerie found it increasingly difficult to hold her easy-going stance in front of this man who’d somehow been able to see what none of the other kids had—her anxieties and fears—and enjoyed getting a rise from her. Valerie remembered her mother’s admonition. “He’ll keep teasing you as long as you let him, honey. If you want him to stop, you need to quit reacting so negatively to it.”
Swallowing past the unpleasant memories, Valerie shrugged. “I’m okay. What brings you to this part of town?”
“I actually live nearby. I decided to make a quick stop on my way home from my mom’s place. She moved to Tempe after marrying my stepdad.”
“I heard that she got married again. I’m glad for her. So,” she said to fill in the silence that followed, “what have you been up to?”
“Working mostly.”
“Where do you work?”
When he mentioned that he worked for the Diamondbacks ball club, Valerie was impressed. She listened as he gave her an overview of the responsibilities of his job. “So what’s going on in your life?”
“Nothing much,” she answered, suddenly feeling tongue-tied. She held up the plastic container of steam cleaner solution and chuckled to ease the tension. “I’m trying to be a magician by making things disappear. Messes, in particular. My son is good at making them.” Valerie offered him a half-smile.
Gage responded with one of his own. “So, I knew that you’d gotten married, but I didn’t realize you were living in Mesa.”
Valerie hesitated for a split second before blurting out the fact that she was divorced.
Gage’s eyes sharpened at this news, immediately zeroing in on her ringless finger. “How long ago did that happen?”
“It’s been a few years,” she said softly. “I’m staying in my grandparents’ home until they return from their mission.”
The grim line of Gage’s mouth told her all she needed to know about how he felt about missions. He obviously hasn’t come back into the Church, she thought sadly. He was one against the world, a feeling she was very familiar with lately. For some strange reason, the thought made Valerie want to wrap her arms around him.
Which, of course, she would never do. Her tendency to shy away from people kept her from forming deep relationships. Initiating physical
contact with someone she wasn’t close to wasn’t her style. But this is Gage, a little voice told her. You’ve known him for most of your life.
But that didn’t mean she’d ever appreciated who he was or how he’d treated her. Instead, she should be running from him as far and fast as she could go. Why, then, did Valerie feel so compelled to comfort him in a moment of weakness? “Gage,” she began haltingly. “I heard that you—well, that things didn’t exactly work out for you after your parents divorced. I’m sorry.”
“Sorry for what? It isn’t your fault.”
“No. I just meant that I’m sorry for the disappointment you must have felt. Life has a way of turning everything on its side just when we think we have it figured out.”
Gage studied her intently for a moment before agreeing. “Yeah. I’ve taken my share of bumps lately. But things will work out. At least, that’s what I keep telling myself.”
Valerie furrowed her brows. “What’s wrong, Gage?”
He shrugged as if whatever was bothering him was of no consequence, but Valerie recognized the signs of someone in distress—the averted gaze and loud swallowing. The jawline that was tight enough to crack his teeth.
And although he was obviously trying for a light tone, Valerie didn’t miss the strain in his voice. “I’m just trying to figure a few things out. Mainly, I’ve decided that I need to file for custody of my four-year-old son, but the logistics of that change will be difficult to work around, especially where my job is concerned.”
She hadn’t known that he’d gotten married. No sooner had that thought come than when another followed, which formed a sick feeling in her stomach. What if he hadn’t married her? It was quite a common thing in today’s world. Impulsively backing up, she bumped into a display of household cleaning supplies and accidentally knocked a few down. “Well, good luck with that. I, um, I’d better get home. My sister is watching my kids and I promised her that I wouldn’t take too long. It was good to see you, Gage.”
Picking two containers of Clorox wipes up and setting them back on the display, Gage gave her a cool smile. “Yeah. It’s good to see you too. Take care.”
The Matchup Page 3