by Kyle, Celia
I’ve never been good at making small talk, but my awful performance is off the charts today. I must look like a blubbering idiot. Suddenly feeling the urge to bolt out of the room once more, I’m about to push myself off the bed when Lamira lays her hand on top of mine.
“Thank you.” Turning to me, she gives me a slight nod. “Truly.”
“You don’t have to thank me,” I tell her. “Not now, not ever.”
I manage a little smile and she finally seems to relax. Even though it’s a good thing, I can’t help but worry. No matter what I just told her, their situation is concerning. Whoever’s behind this entire mess wasn’t planning anything good. The thing is, without knowing who’s to blame for their capture and transport, we can only do so much.
“Do you think we’ll ever find out who’s behind this?” she asks me, almost as if she’s reading my thoughts.
“Whoever it was, it is clear they have no honor.”
“Do you think it’s related to the war?”
I pause. It is a valid question.
“This war is tearing apart the galaxy,” I say grimly. “Things I had thought I’d never hear about several years ago are now commonplace.”
“You’ve seen a lot of the war?”
“The Hael Hounds were contracted on both sides for one-off missions. I’ve seen too much of the war. I’ve seen too many innocents die because of the religious zealotry of the Ataxians.”
The way she’s looking at me tells me she wants some reassurance, or maybe even some answers, but I don’t know if I can give her any of that. After all, the galaxy is full of unsavory characters—men and women capable of unspeakable atrocities.
I should know. I’ve done my fair share of atrocities.
“I don’t know, Lamira,” I reply, choosing to be honest with her. “I have a few ideas, but…”
“Tell me.”
“It’s too early for that,” I reply. Truth be told, I just don’t want to frighten her. I have some hypotheses, sure, but most of them are nightmare fuel. Would it do her any good to know they were probably being trafficked and en route to an auction block on some fringe planet? Or that they were probably part of some fucked up IHC black-ops operation? No, it’s better to keep these thoughts to myself, at least until the fog starts to lift and we get some real answers. “We’ll know more in time, Lamira. We just have to be patient.”
“What about Solace? Do you have any idea where that might be?”
“None,” I reply. “I’ve been racking my brain for an answer, but I don’t think I’ve ever heard of such a place. I know Solair is looking into it, and sooner or later, I think we’ll have some answers. In the meantime, all we can do is wait.”
“That’s the hardest part.”
“You just have to find something to keep yourself busy.” I give her fingers a soft squeeze, and an electric wave rushes through my body as I feel her skin brushing against mine. A pleasant warmth spreads over me again, and I have to make a very conscious effort not to lose myself in her eyes. It’s useless. My brain has already started to short-circuit for the second time today, and there’s little I can do to stop it. “Something, or someone.”
“Someone?” she repeats, her question punctuated with a small chuckle. Fuck, I can’t believe I just said that. “And do you have someone in mind?” she continues, the innuendo in her voice telling me she’s setting a trap for me.
“Well, I, uh…” Looking away from her, I straighten my back and place both hands on my knees. “Maybe Varia? Or that techie, Fiona. Maybe you could start going with them to the training area. It helps to pass the time, you know? A good workout does wonders.”
“I’m not very good at working out,” she says. “I’d need a lot of guidance.”
“Maybe I can help with that,” I find myself saying, the words leaving my mouth before my brain can filter them. I spend a lot of time in the gym, ensuring my body is battle-ready, and I could give her some pointers. Of course, only now do I realize the double meaning behind my words. Fuck, why am I so terrible at this?
“I think I’d like that,” she says, and my eyes are immediately drawn to the way her lips move. I can’t stop myself from imagining the flavor hidden behind their velvety texture. How would it feel to kiss her? How would it feel to have her tiny body pressed against mine? To hold her tightly and never let go?
“Grantian, we need you up here.” My comm unit suddenly comes alive, Solair’s commanding voice breaking whatever spell I was under. Looking away from Lamira, I open the comms channel and hold the unit before my mouth.
“On my way,” I reply, pushing myself up to my feet.
Saved by the bell.
Chapter Five
Lamira
Was I flirting with him?
By the Mother’s holy face, I must be losing my goddamn mind. One minute I’m bawling like a kid who doesn’t want to be dropped off at school, and the next my hormones are kicking in as if I were still a teenager. Maybe it’s all the gold in Grantian’s skin. It must be messing with my brain.
It’s funny, though. Grantian always has this stoic demeanor around everyone else, but there’s no stoicism to be seen whenever he’s around me. In its place, there’s kindness. Sure, he’s a bit awkward at times, treating me as if I were one of his mercenary buddies, but there’s no mistaking it. He treats me far nicer than he does others.
To be honest, though, there’s more than just kindness in his eyes.
Now, I might be imagining things, but whenever our gazes find each other… it’s hard to explain, but it’s as if the air around us suddenly becomes electrified. My heart beats faster, I get tunnel vision, and I have to fight against my instincts not to stare at his chiseled body. It’s his fault, anyway. Why does he have to be so damn perfect? He’s always strutting around with his soldier’s posture, chin held high and a stern expression that tells the world he has a PhD in kicking ass and taking names. It’s biologically impossible for a woman to be immune to that sort of thing.
I just wish he was more open. He has his suspicions about what happened to the women aboard the Frontier, but he’s clearly hesitant about sharing his thoughts on the matter with me. Not that I can blame him for that. He’s acting out of kindness, eager to protect me from whatever horrors lurk in the galaxy, and I can’t help but appreciate him for it. It’s good to know someone cares for me.
Despite that, I still can’t help but wonder about Solace, whatever it might be. That name keeps echoing inside my head, over and over again, and I’m pretty sure I’ve heard of it before. Yet, the more I try to grasp its meaning, the more elusive it becomes. It’s just like the lyrics for a song you know by heart. Your brain knows the words, but you can’t fish them out of your mind whenever you’re asked about them.
It’s an infuriating feeling.
“This is crazy,” I find myself saying as I throw myself back on top of my bed. The folded blankets and clothes remain at the foot of it, a reminder of what I have to do, but I can’t find the strength to make my way to the medbay right now. Instead, I reach for the towel I have hanging on the side of my bunk, jump off the bed, and head to the bathroom.
I need a shower to cool off.
I head to the showers on the ship and, finding no line, quickly get in one of the few showers that utilize water.
Most of the showers on the ship are sonic showers, but five use water, and then proceed to purify that liquid for future showers. It’s a luxury and there’s always a line. But I seemed to have gotten lucky this time.
I turn the water on and take my clothes off. I step under the spray, its warmth relaxing my entire body as I throw my head back and close my eyes. I let all the anxiety wash off of me and concentrate on my breathing. I’ve never been too big on mindfulness or whatever people call it these days, but lately I’ve found it helps my anxiety—especially now that I’ve somehow become a wanted criminal on the run.
Luckily for me, the thoughts bubbling up to my mind’s surface have nothing to do with
that. All I can think about is Grantian. It doesn’t make any sense for me to be obsessed with a man I’ve barely met, but I can’t help it. The first time I laid eyes on him it felt as if something had ignited, and now there’s an electric flame of desire burning inside me that I simply can’t snuff out.
But even if I could, I doubt I’d want to.
Running my hands through my wet hair, I think of the way Grantian ripped a piece of his shirt off just so I could use the fabric as a tissue. I caught a glimpse of his perfectly carved abs as he did it, and they were a maddening sight. Just a hint of his naked skin is enough for me to go ballistic, apparently. Can anyone blame me, though? He’s kind, handsome, and seems willing to fight the entire galaxy just to keep me safe. What’s not to like?
Besides, Varia has already confirmed that the Kilgari are dual-wielding sword fighters under the belt. That’s a terrible metaphor to use, I’m aware, but I don’t think I need to elaborate on it. I wonder how it would feel to be with someone like that. Judging by Varia’s blissful expression whenever I come across her in the morning, I’d say it must feel pretty damn great.
Before I even know what the hell I’m doing, my right hand wanders down my stomach toward the scorching heat between my legs. I bite on the corner of my bottom lip as I hesitantly reach for my clit and then lean back against the wall as I press down on it, a column of fire rising up my spine.
With Grantian’s image burning in my mind’s eye, I start moving my fingers in smooth circles, stroking myself. I’ve never been the kind of girl who’s consumed by lustful thoughts every waking hour of the day but, after meeting Grantian, it’s as if every single nerve ending I have has become a slave to desire.
Breathing in deeply, I imagine how amazing it would be to peel his clothes off his heavily muscled body. The little glance I caught of him was enough to drive me crazy, and I wonder what other miracles of genetics he keeps hidden under all of his clothes. Every muscle in his body seems to have been designed with savage functionality as the goal, and it’s hard not to think about him applying all of that functionality to my own body. He could pick me up from the floor with those massive arms of his, and there’d be nothing I could do about it.
Sure, he’s always been caring and kind toward me, but I’m pretty sure if things got real between the two of us, I’d get to see a different side of him. A side that sees no boundaries or limitations, that pushes him to take whatever he wants, whenever he wants.
Right now, there’s nothing I’d like more than for Grantian to do just that. I want him to take me, to do whatever the hell he wants with me. I want to surrender to his embrace, to break through his shell and get to know that savage side of his.
This is crazy, I think, but my fingers never stop moving. If anything, they start going even faster than before, every fiber of my being relishing that sweet madness. It feels so damn liberating. Ever since I woke up in the Frontier’s dark cargo hold my mind has been assaulted by anxiety nonstop, and only now am I finding some relief.
Exhaling sharply, I push my inner thighs together as pleasure shoots up my spine. My eyes roll as my whole body tenses up, and pleasure washes over me like a tsunami. Breathing hard, I remain under the running water as my thoughts explode like firecrackers, leaving only a deep certainty inside my mind. I want Grantian, and I want him like I’ve never wanted anyone before.
“I must be losing it,” I mutter under my breath, but a smile remains etched on my lips all the same. I’ve finally found something aboard this ship capable of taking my mind off the shitstorm my life has become. It was about time too. I just have to be careful. No matter the rosy scenarios my mind has come up with, I have to remember I’m dealing with a real person here. The fact that he’s been kind to me doesn’t mean he feels the same attraction I do. Sighing, I promise myself I won’t get too carried away, but I immediately know that’s going to be a hard one to keep.
Feeling like a brand-new person, I try to steer my mind toward something other than Grantian’s chiseled pecs as I step out of the shower. Varia has a lot on her plate right now, and I figure I can help out by checking in with the other girls. It’s a long shot, but Fiona or Ilya might know about Solace. Either way, I have to keep busy. It’s either that or remain in the shower, thinking of Grantian until I have a cramped wrist and a mind as dirty as a gutter.
When I finally leave, there’s a spring in my step.
Chapter Six
Grantian
“What’s wrong this time?” Pushing my way into the bridge, my gaze flies straight to Swipt. He’s sitting behind the navigational console, alongside Lokyer, and the two of them seem to be studying the logs and reviewing our trajectory. “Swipt, if you’re calling me about that damn terminal again, I swear I’m gonna—”
“Someone’s in a bad mood.” Turning his chair around, he drapes his arms over the armrests and cocks one eyebrow up. “What bug crawled up your ass this morning, Grantian? Anyway, I’m not the one in need of your immense wisdom. You want to grunt at someone, grunt at our captain.”
“Right,” I mutter, suddenly feeling foolish. I was enjoying being with Lamira so damn much I’m irritated at being pulled onto the bridge. That’d be understandable if I were some young rookie with more hot blood than common sense, but that’s not the case. I’m this ship’s second, and I better keep that in mind at all times.
Slowly, I make my way toward the center of the bridge. Solair’s standing before the main terminal’s console, a small group surrounding him, and everyone seems to be focused on a holographic map of the quadrant.
“Where are we going?” I ask the group, scratching my chin as I stare at the map.
“We need supplies,” Solair tells me, confirming my suspicions. “Jax has reported that we’re running low on food. We simply have too many people aboard, and we’re not going to last long without a resupply.”
“Can’t we ration the food that remains, just until we have enough credits for a matter replicator?” I offer, but Solair’s concerned expression doesn’t change.
“We’re still a long way off from having enough money to buy the matter replicator, and I figure we’ll all die of starvation before we manage to get our hands on one of those things.”
“Alright, got it. The matter replicator is out.”
“Would any of those Outer Rim colonies be safe enough for us to make port?” He enlarges the map so it focuses on a system known for a large asteroid belt mined by IHC corporations. The gigantic mining crews eventually settled some of the smaller planets on the system, turning them into support bases for the operation. Any other day I’d say it’d be safe to make a quick run on any those colonies, but our situation has changed.
“The Interstellar Human Confederation patrols the area, even if the colonies aren’t technically part of the IHC yet. But as more humans move to them, they know it’s only a matter of time. They may be lawless right now, but that’ll change soon. We’re more likely to run into an IHC patrol who will wonder why we have so many human women on board.”
“So anywhere close to the IHC border with League space is a bad idea?”
I look at the map. “Yes, I think that’s a bad idea,” I finally reply. “The entire system is teeming with IHC ships—whether it’s colony support, security, or military. Even if we’re just talking about civilian ships, it’d be a risk to go there.” I don’t need to state the obvious. Now that the IHC has put out bulletins on all the women aboard our ship, to land in any of the colonies inside or close to League Space would be too dangerous.
“The news bulletin said these women are not just domestic terrorists, but may be involved in attempting to bring down the human government. Those are crimes punishable by execution. My advice is to steer far, far away and avoid taking any chances at all.”
“Aren’t there any other alternatives?” Gripping the edge of the console, Varia leans in, looking at me through the blue holographic map. There’s a cool edge to her voice, and I take that as a good sign. The woman is un
der a lot of pressure, but she seems more than capable of keeping her head over her shoulders. “Going by Jax’s estimates, we only have a couple of days before we have to start rationing our supplies even more than we already are. And even if we do that, there won’t be enough to last us for more than a week or two.”
“There’s a place I know of,” I continue, and now I’m the one raising my hands and enlarging a particular spot on the screen. I zoom in on a small planet, no more than an isolated rest stop just outside League Space. “It’s not exactly a welcoming place, but we’ll be able to resupply there.”
“Kyvos,” Varia reads from the map. “It doesn’t show on the League’s registry.”
“That’s because it isn’t exactly a part of the League,” I explain. “The League has some influence there, sure, but it’s minimal. Mostly, the people there run the colony as they see fit.” I don’t say it, but Solair immediately picks up on the hidden meaning behind my words. Kyvos is a lawless colony. Going there won’t be a walk in the park.
“We goin’ somewhere?” Appearing behind Solair, a tangle of cut wires in his hands, Montier narrows his eyes and looks at the screen. He might be a brilliant engineer, but I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t be able to read a map to save his life. “Kyvos, huh?”
“We’re planning a supply run,” Solair explains, and Montier knits his eyebrows together.
Pursing his lips, he gives himself a little nod. “If that’s the case, I think we should get a new auxiliary battery for the engine core.”
“Has the one we have started to crap out?” I read his last maintenance reports just a few days ago, and everything seemed fine then. A new auxiliary battery at this moment in time seems like an overly cautious move, which isn’t exactly Montier’s style.