Darcy's Passions

by Regina Jeffers

  Elizabeth fell into step with Darcy, both of them in a quiet state of chaos, not admitting their need to be with each other.With her eyes down so Darcy could not see her face, Elizabeth said at a barely audible level only Darcy listening with his whole being could hear.“I meant no disrespect, Mr. Darcy. I just meant yellow is my favorite color of flower, especially the yellow rose. Some say yellow represents jealousy. I say it demonstrates a constancy of spirit; like the sun, it lasts forever.”

  As he handed Mrs. Gardiner and Elizabeth into the carriage, Darcy could not resist the impulse to hold Elizabeth’s hand a moment longer than propriety would allow. Elizabeth glanced down at his hand and slowly withdrew hers from his, prolonging the sensation. Darcy’s heart beat so loudly he was sure everyone must have heard it. He could not remove the smile from his face as he watched Elizabeth’s carriage leave the grounds.

  CHAPTER 13

  “ . . . tormenting a respectable gentleman.”

  With reluctance, Darcy returned to the salon; he could not leave Georgiana to deal with the Bingley sisters alone. As predicted, Caroline Bingley’s disdain for Elizabeth Bennet overflowed with criticisms of Elizabeth’s person, behavior, and dress. To no avail, Georgiana and Mrs. Annesley tried to redirect Caroline’s censure. When Darcy entered, he found Georgiana in nearly as much distress as when Miss Bingley earlier made references to George Wickham.“Georgiana, my dear,” he said as he entered,“do you not have lessons to which to attend?” Darcy shot his sister a secretive glance.

  “Yes, Brother, I do, and then I have some letters to write.” She returned a wink of “thanks,” made a quick curtsy, and left the room. Georgiana felt relief at being away from Miss Bingley’s comments about Elizabeth Bennet. Her brother favored Miss Bennet, and as for Georgiana, his judgment could not err.Yet, even if her brother did not speak so highly of Miss Elizabeth, Georgiana would have found her to be lovely and amiable. Elizabeth Bennet won Georgiana’s heart also.

  When Georgiana left, Miss Bingley repeated to Darcy what she said to his sister.As jealousy consumed Caroline Bingley, she forgot to check her sharpened tongue before Darcy’s hearing, and he, at first, tolerated her comments for Bingley’s sake. She began with renewed disapproval of Elizabeth’s looks, noting she believed Elizabeth’s face to be “brown and coarse.”

  Darcy tried to warn Miss Bingley of her being too forward by saying coldly, “Miss Elizabeth travels in the summer months; it would make sense for her to be tanned. Other than that, I perceive no great change in her looks.”

  Needless to say, this did not satisfy Caroline; determined, she reminded Darcy of his initial dislike for Elizabeth Bennet. The tirade included a profound dislike for Elizabeth’s thin face, lackluster complexion, and unattractive features, including her nose, teeth, and “her fine eyes.” Caroline referred to Elizabeth as having an air of self-sufficiency without tolerable fashion.

  During this, Darcy tried repeatedly to restructure his composure; it took great constraint not to order Caroline Bingley to leave Pemberley at once; he even considered helping the servants pack her trunks to be rid of her in a timelier manner.

  Caroline, unfortunately, did not realize she stepped across the line of his patience; she desired to remind him he, too, once found Elizabeth Bennet and her family to be intolerable. “I remember, when we first knew her in Hertfordshire, how amazed we all were to find that she was a reputed beauty; and I particularly recollect you saying one night, after they had been dining at Netherfield, ‘She a beauty! I should as soon call her mother a wit.’ But afterwards she seemed to improve on you, and I believe you thought her rather pretty at one time.”

  Her voice sent revulsion through Darcy’s body; he did not recall saying such things about Elizabeth, but he did not doubt he could have been that pompous at one time. Steadying his voice, he turned a look of steel upon Miss Bingley. She gasped at the intensity of his stare and dropped her eyes quickly as he delivered his cut.“Yes,” he snapped,“but that was only when I first saw her, for it is many months since I have considered her as one of the handsomest women of my acquaintance.” He then went away, quitting the room; he must be away from the venom Caroline Bingley spread. He needed the companionship of intelligent, genteel people. Darcy returned to the stream to find Mr. Gardiner still leisurely enjoying the pleasures of the day in sport. He turned his attentions to getting to know the man whom Elizabeth admired and found his day improved by the effort.

  Dinnertime drew near, but Darcy found he lost his taste for both the food and the company awaiting him in the dining room.The fragrance of roses filling his senses wafted over him, followed closely by the light scent of lavender. Sitting in the conservatory, he pleasantly recalled the last three days, praying he still had a chance with Elizabeth Bennet. Deep in these thoughts, his sister eventually interrupted him by saying,“Fitzwilliam, here you are.”

  Darcy looked up as the haze of his memories retreated to be called forth again on a moment’s notice.“I apologize, Dearest One, I neglected you since our visitors departed. Please sit with me for a few minutes before we must go into dinner.”

  “Are you not well, Fitzwilliam?”

  “I am well, at least, physically.”

  “Is it Miss Elizabeth of whom you are concerned?”

  “Dearest One, how could it be you have become so wise?” He smiled as he kissed her hand and then held it to his cheek. “I fear Miss Elizabeth is rarely far from my thoughts.”

  “I do like her, Fitzwilliam, just as you said I would. I find Elizabeth Bennet to be one of the most amiable people of my acquaintance.”

  Darcy smiled down at his sister’s face overspread with happiness. “I am delighted you found her to be so; she is uncommon.”

  “Fitzwilliam, tomorrow evening—I would hope to extend an invitation to Miss Elizabeth to spend some time at Pemberley, but I do not wish to pain you. If it would hurt you, I could possibly ask her to come to London with Mrs.Annesley and me instead.”

  “Georgiana, you recognize my prayer of one day earning Miss Elizabeth’s regard and bringing her to Pemberley, but even if those hopes are never achieved, I have come to realize I must have her in my life; I could not bear never seeing her again. Having Miss Elizabeth here at Pemberley as your special friend would give me nearly as much pleasure as having her here with me.”

  “Fitzwilliam, I know little about love except for what I read in novels and poetry, but the greatest fool can see you and Elizabeth Bennet belong together.”

  “From your lips,” he whispered,“to God’s will, but even if Miss Elizabeth never returns my affection, she already gave me a new life; she opened the door for me to come out of the shadows of a prideful existence, without abandoning my ideals, and she created a new understanding between us two. It pains me to think I once offended the woman I most respect. Now I have sought Miss Elizabeth’s acquaintance again, any effort I might now make to shun her presence would create suspicion, would it not? You may invite her to Pemberley if you so wish.”

  “Fitzwilliam, if Miss Elizabeth finally realizes what an honorable man you are, she will possess a great love—a different kind of admiration, but I am a foolish school-girl,” she added, thinking she said too much for his serious sensibilities. After an awkward pause, she began again,“I know I disappointed you when I turned to Mr. Wickham.” She felt him stiffen at the mention of George Wickham’s name.“I knew nothing of interpreting character then; now I see what superior affection really is.” Darcy realized his sister was not as naïve as he once thought her to be; she was a young lady looking for love and for her own way in the world. Of course, he was not anxious to let her leave him anytime soon, but he felt he understood her better since he showed himself to be vulnerable. “Did you see what Miss Elizabeth did today when Miss Bingley broached the subject of the—shire in Meryton? I was mortified; my first thoughts were Caroline knew about Mr. Wickham, but, of course, she did not.”

  “No, Miss Bingley’s directed her comments to my memory of Elizabeth
once preferring Mr.Wickham also; it seems you and Miss Elizabeth were both fooled by his façade of caring.”

  “Obviously, Miss Elizabeth knows my secret; you told her. Is that not so?”

  “At Hunsford in an impulsive act, I ludicrously proposed—a droit du seigneur, so to speak; but, when I professed my love for Miss Elizabeth, her reproofs included charges of my abuse of Mr.Wickham. I was angry, at first, and wished to defend my actions, and then I wanted to protect Elizabeth from George Wickham’s deceit. I am afraid I betrayed you, but I did not do so lightly. I knew enough of Miss Bennet’s character to realize she would never use the knowledge against you.You saw her strength of character today.”

  “The strength of her grasp on my hand gave me the ability to raise my eyes and look in her face. Her face told me I had nothing to fear from Elizabeth Bennet.”

  “Yes, my dear,” Darcy nearly at a loss for words continued, “we hold mutual admiration for Miss Elizabeth, it seems. But we must put these thoughts aside and attend to our guests. Come, Sweet One.” He offered his sister his arm; both paused before the boxwood rose before leaving the conservatory.

  Darcy retired to his chambers early that evening. Hope and a bit of confidence flowed through him; his sister’s words involving his and Elizabeth’s futures rang in his memory, but Darcy needed to discover the whole truth about his chances, and only one person could accurately supply the information: Elizabeth. He must see her, and he must see her alone.

  The master of the house rose early. He wanted to be away from his guests. He thought only of Elizabeth and of finding out if she could learn to love him. If her wishes changed, Darcy would renew his proposal and face the consequences of his choice later. The ride into Lambton took a little over a quarter of an hour. It was early, but not unreasonably so. He would simply ask Elizabeth for permission to call upon her in advance of the rest of her party; he would bring a curricle, and they could take a drive around the grounds of Pemberley before dinner. Darcy would make his intentions known again and let fate take its course.

  Upon reaching the inn, he learned the Gardiners left only moments before. Disappointed, he first considered seeking them in the village when the servant told him the young lady remained behind in her quarters. Darcy’s eyes glinted with pleasure when he instructed the servant to announce his presence to the young woman. As the servant knocked on the door and opened it to the sitting area of the guest rooms, coming face-to-face with Elizabeth startled Darcy. Her pale face showed her to be in a clearly agitated state. She barely saw him, so great her discomposure, and before he could recover enough to speak, she started past him by saying, “I beg your pardon, but I must leave you. I must find Mr. Gardiner this moment, on business that cannot be delayed; I have not an instant to lose.”

  He knew not the source of the anguish in which he found Elizabeth, but he knew he must protect her. Propriety would demand he let Elizabeth pass without interference, but Darcy’s love for her could not allow him to ignore her. “Good God! What is the matter?” He wanted to take her in his arms to comfort her. “Miss Elizabeth, I will not detain you a minute; but let me, or let the servant, go after Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner.You are not well enough; you cannot go yourself.”

  He stayed close because Elizabeth seemed to sway under the distress of the situation; she took his advice, and the servant was recalled and commissioned to find Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner and have them return immediately.

  With the servant on his way, Elizabeth took a seat, as she could control her trembling legs no longer. Her distress caused Darcy to fear news of the death of her mother or father. Without being asked to stay, he pulled a chair close to her for he could not leave her in such discontent, and he momentarily reached for her hand, stroking her palm with his thumb as he gently held her fingertips. He inquired of what he might do to help her, and although Elizabeth requested nothing of him, she did, finally, turn to him with her dilemma—she had dreadful news from Longbourn. Darcy began to think of ways to care for her well-being if the death of a parent was of what she spoke. The acknowledgment of the situation brought tears to her eyes, and her sobs held Darcy in desolate anticipation. He offered her comforting words and then observed her in sympathetic silence.

  When she finally spoke, the words spilled out in clusters of ill happenings. “I have just had a letter from Jane, with such dreadful news. It cannot be concealed from anyone. My younger sister has left all her friends—has eloped; has thrown herself into the power of—of Mr.Wickham.They are gone off together from Brighton. You know him too well to doubt the rest. She has no money, no connections, nothing that can tempt him to—she is lost forever.”

  Darcy tried to control first the contempt, then the anger, and lastly, the empathy he felt; astonishment fixed him in place. Elizabeth blamed herself for not letting others know of Mr.Wickham’s low character, but it was his secret—his sister’s secret—she kept. Darcy’s pride would ruin the woman he loved. Lydia Bennet’s folly would not only mark her as a “fallen” woman, but it would taint the reputations of all of her sisters as well.“I am grieved, indeed—grieved—shocked. But is it certain—absolutely certain?”

  “Oh, yes! They left Brighton together on Sunday night, and were traced almost to London, but not beyond; they are certainly not gone to Scotland.”

  Darcy fought the urge to touch her shoulder, but instead he lightly touched her fingertips once more. Elizabeth continued to sob, but he noted her shoulders no longer shook. He asked, “And what has been done, what has been attempted, to recover her?”

  Even before asking the question, Darcy knew where this conversation led. He grappled for something to say which could change the situation; although he listened to Elizabeth’s response, he attended to it only for the details for he swam in the disgust he now felt for Mr. Wickham, as well as himself. His forswearing her to secrecy caused Elizabeth’s distress; loaded with self-reproach, he became determined to find a way to remedy the situation for only two days ago Darcy vowed to protect Elizabeth no matter what the consequences. Elizabeth lamented the inevitable outcome of her sister’s alliance. Mr. Bennet went to London, but he needed Mr. Gardiner’s help, and she would leave shortly to help comfort her family. Mr.Wickham’s character, as he knew, could only be easily swayed with monetary inducements, and her family could offer him no such sums. Again, she blamed herself for the lack of foresight in seeing George Wickham’s true nature and Lydia’s idolized ideas of love.

  Darcy stood during this last passage and began to pace the room in solemn reflection; the intensity of his anger pulsed hard along his temples. He wondered if Elizabeth recognized the effect she had on him. Her tears pierced his heart, and every time she dabbed at her eyes, Darcy’s agony crescendoed. He needed to be free of this room; he needed to find Wickham and stop this madness; he needed to take action. With compassion he finally spoke, “Miss Elizabeth, I am afraid you have been long desiring my absence, nor have I anything to plead in excuse of my stay, but real, though unavailing, concern. Would to Heaven that anything could be either said or done on my part that might offer consolation to such distress! But I will not torment you with vain wishes, which may seem purposely to ask for your thanks.This unfortunate affair will, I fear, prevent my sister’s having the pleasure of seeing you at Pemberley today.”

  “Oh, yes,” she stumbled with embarrassment, “be so kind as to apologize for us to Miss Darcy. Say that urgent business calls us home immediately. Conceal the unhappy truth as long as it is possible, I know it cannot be long.”

  Demonstrating as much decorum as he could muster, he readily assured her of his secrecy. “I pray for a happier conclusion to this matter than there is at present reason to hope. Please give my regards to Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner.” He made her a quick bow, which she acknowledged with a sorrowful nod of her head. Stepping to the door, Darcy gripped the handle and with only one serious parting look went away.

  Emerging onto the streets of the village, he leaned back against the inn’s outer wall and gasped for
air. How could it be? He was so close to winning Elizabeth’s heart.To have her snatched away from him again seemed unthinkable. He knew, or, at least, he hoped for an honest chance of Elizabeth’s wishes changing in regard to him; now all possibilities of love appeared in vain. What made the situation worse was George Wickham created it. He always wanted revenge on Darcy; if Wickham knew the irony of the situation, he would be pleased with what he started. Darcy climbed upon Cerberus’s back and turned the reins toward Pemberley, but he remembered none of that—all he remembered was Elizabeth’s “fine eyes” lost their glow.

  Darcy arrived at Pemberley as his houseguests finished their breakfasts; he mumbled his apologies about having urgent estate business, which caused him to ride out early this day and to which he would now need to devote some time alone to work through. He waited not for their civilities but made an exit to his study and quickly secured the door behind him; he wanted no interruptions until he sorted things out.

  Several hours later a light tap at the door roused his attention—the tap so delicate Darcy had no doubt it came from Georgiana; otherwise, he would have ignored it as he had the offers from servants for tea and refreshments. He crossed to the door and opened it quickly to find his sister half turned to go. Darcy spoke not a word, just offered his hand, and led her to the settee; he seated himself next to her, but he did not speak—no words necessary for her to share his anguish. After several excruciating minutes, Georgiana reached up to brush the hair from his eyes. “Has something happened to Miss Elizabeth?” she asked while gently stroking his cheek.