by ML Michaels
The wind howled outside and slammed the window open, nearly hitting the old man in the face. It was a warm breeze, but to him it felt cold. He frowned and closed it quickly. It wasn’t winter anymore. What was the wind doing blowing so hard? He hobbled over to the coat rack and grabbed his jacket and cane. He made the decision then and there that he would follow his grandson into the forest and bring him back by the ear if he had to. Ronan would learn once and for all that God’s path was the only path for him. The circus was out of the question. No more fooling around. No more ridiculousness. It was time to settle down and focus on his studies. That was that.
It was late and dark, so the old man also grabbed a lantern. As he shut and locked the front door, he looked over from his little house on the hill and out across the rest of the village. You could see the cross on the top of the church here. He said a silent prayer to himself to bring Ronan home safe and sound. He made his way down the path, walking with his cane for extra support in one hand, the soft light of the lantern leading the way.
When Ronan saw Jana kiss the big man with dreadlocks, his stomach dropped. When he had kissed her, Jana had rejected him. What did the big man with dreadlocks have that he didn’t have? Jana was the first real crush he had ever had. He dreamed of her long blond hair and the way her skin shimmered in the sun. He imagined her welcoming smile and her dark, almond-shaped eyes. It was all he could do not to jump out of his hiding place and clobber the large man with a branch. Instead, he watched them, entranced by the energy that seemed to flow between them.
Lost in thought, he leaned forward and a twig beneath his foot cracked. Suddenly Jana was staring straight at him. He stayed there for a moment, frozen, and then off he ran, bounding past trees, and out of sight in no time. The man with dreadlocks chased him, but he didn’t know the forest like Ronan did. He had no chance of keeping up. Once he was sure they’d left, and he was safe, Ronan went back to the stream. He sat on the log where the two of them had been earlier. The sun had set, and it was no longer bright and beautiful, but rather eerie in the early dusk. Ronan couldn’t understand what happened. When he had kissed Jana, she seemed almost angry, but when this other man kissed her, she opened up to him. Ronan began to think there was something inherently wrong with him. He couldn’t handle any more rejection, and he wasn’t going to give anyone the chance. He knew what he wanted, and he was going to get it, whatever it took. He wandered out into the forest and found a big branch that he could use as a club. A dagger was sheathed at his belt. The plan was to go back to Homer’s Theatrical Circus Troupe’s camp one last time and demand they include him. He wasn’t going to take no for an answer.
Homer sat in his tent counting his money. He almost had enough to buy the boat that was waiting for him in a town not too far from here called Sheridan. He had paid a guy to hold onto a beautiful little sailboat for him until he had enough money to buy it. The plan was to sail as far away from here as possible and start a new life. He was done with the circus. He was done with this land. He’d committed too many crimes to live here safely anyway. Everything in his gut was telling him to move on, to get out of here, but he was still short on money. If he could last just a couple more days, just one more performance, then he would be all set.
Josef whistled outside of his tent. Homer hurriedly stuffed the money he had been counting into a chest under his seat, and then grumbled, “Yeah? What is it?”
“Can I come in?”
“Sure,” Homer grunted.
Josef ducked and entered the tent. He sat down on a cushion at Homer’s feet. He looked slightly perturbed, as if something was the matter.
“What’s going on,” Homer asked, though he wasn’t particularly interested. All he cared about was getting out of town as soon as possible.
“Nothing, nothing. I just have a bad feeling is all.” Josef wrung his hands together. He looked up at Homer and finally said, “We are almost out of food. The camp is growing restless. When is everyone going to get paid?”
Homer licked his lips and retorted, “I told you. Everyone just needs to be patient.”
“Yeah, Homer, that is just not enough anymore. People are getting hungry. And hungry people can’t be trusted to do rational things.”
“No they can’t…” Homer grabbed a bottle of whiskey and opened it, handing it to Josef. “Well,” he said, “We will just have to come up with a way to distract them.”
Josef handed the bottle back to Homer, who took a big swill. Whiskey dribbled out of the corners of his mouth. After a couple of moments, he wiped it away with the back of his hand.
“We are never going to find out who killed Winifred, at least not at anytime we can foresee,” Homer continued. “We have to set someone up.”
Josef looked at him, his eyes wide and suspicious. He asked, “And how are we going to do that?”
“The Ronan boy. He’s basically already done it for us.”
“That’s true.”
“If we instigate such an accusation, the camp will follow suit. It will be easy. And quite the distraction.”
“Okay, Homer, but I don’t know if this is such a good idea. I don’t want anyone getting unnecessarily hurt.”
“Of course, neither do I. But we must do what’s best for the camp, and a rowdy, unruly troupe can get out of control really quickly.”
“We’ll do this then. Ragul said he saw Ronan pacing the outskirts of camp. We think he’s planning to do something anyway. We might as well question him and see what he knows.”
“Good job, Josef. I knew I could count on you.”
Josef muttered something incomprehensible and crawled out of the tent. Homer took another sip of whiskey. It was a good thing this Ronan kid was causing so much nonsense. If he weren’t around to distract the troupe, Homer sure would be in trouble. He’d have a hungry, unpaid circus all blaming him on his hands. In just one or two more days, however, he’d be gone. He’d be headed towards his new life. He’d be free.
Jana looked from her hand to Darby and back again. She didn’t know what to think, but she knew she was getting more and more terrified as the seconds passed. A dark lady, the same ill-fated type of flower that Winifred had picked the night before she was murdered, was now in Jana’s hand.
“How did I…?”
“I don’t know…it just came out of the ground as you reached to free my dreadlocks,” Darby murmured. He was shocked, unprepared for such a strange and potentially dangerous turn of events.
“What am I going to do?” Jana said. Suddenly there were tears in her eyes. “I don’t want to end up like Winifred.”
“You aren’t going to end up like Winifred, I would never let that happen. We just have to keep you safe until sunrise.”
He looked up at the constellations and gauged that it was only one or two o’clock in the morning. Quite a lot of time remained till dawn.
“We will stay right here, or we will go somewhere else, and I will protect you. I will make sure nothing bad happens to you. I promise.”
“Thank you for saying that, but you can’t protect me from the power of the dark lady legend.”
“You believe the legend?”
“Well, yeah, I do. Winifred didn’t, and look what happened to her.”
“I think it much more likely that her death is related to whatever is going on with the danger she told us both about than it is to the dark lady legend.” He took the dark lady from Jana and threw it far into the field. “There,” he said. “It’s gone. And we will sleep here tonight, away from trees, away from bad guys, away from everything. Nobody even knows we are here.”
“Ronan.”
“What about him?”
“He knows about this field. He could be watching us right now.”
“Why would he do that?”
“Why would he spy on us earlier today?”
“You have a point. I don’t know. But please, don’t worry about Ronan. I can protect you from him if it comes
to that. Come here.”
Jana curled up in between his legs and rested her head on his chest. He was warm, and it was comforting to be in his arms.
“Okay,” she said. “We’ll stay here until the sun comes up.”
Josef wasn’t sure about blaming Ronan for Winifred’s death without being sure he was the murderer. A handful of people sat around the fire, including him. He drank red wine out of the bottle and mused over his problem. Celeste’s boys kept running past him, playing tag or some other game. Roxanna sat with Celeste, sharing the daily gossip, Tomas and some other jugglers laughed about something or other, and Ragul stood leaning against a tree, watching from afar. Josef wondered where Jana was. He hadn’t seen her since she had brought Ronan to camp. What was she thinking bringing an oogle to camp? Perhaps he had manipulated her. Perhaps he had charmed her. Jana, however, didn’t seemed like a girl who could be easily charmed. Maybe she had simply taken pity on the poor boy and was trying to help him. He couldn’t be sure.
He took another sip of wine and made eye contact with Roxanna from across the fire pit. She was so beautiful. He wanted nothing more than to take her away from the circus and give her a proper home, a home where they could have children and grow old together, but with his small wages and his drinking habits, he doubted that would ever happen. Suddenly, Celeste stood up, and attempted to round up her children. It was time for bed, she said. Josef imagined what it would be like if those were his three sons, and it was Roxanna rounding them up like herding cats. Roxanna seemed to be able to tell there was something on his mind, and she came to sit on his lap.
“Hey there, my Josef. What’s got you looking so blue?”
“Nothing, nothing,” he muttered into the ruffles of her dress.
“There is something the matter. A woman can always tell,” she said as a matter of fact, and kissed the top of his head. “Now I command you to tell me, Josef. I promise to make it all better.”
She kissed him on the cheek and took the bottle of wine out of Josef’s hands. She had obviously been drinking, but Josef didn’t mind. He loved her all the same. She leaned her head back and poured down the wine.
“Have you ever thought about leaving the circus?” Josef asked her seriously.
“Leaving the circus? Are you crazy? I was born into this life. This is my home!”
“I know, I know. But what if—just what if—you could have a different life, a life where you had your own home, and maybe some children, and I could be your husband. Doesn’t that sound nice?”
“Well, I guess so, but I don’t let myself think about stuff like that. It would just be too wonderful. I wouldn’t know what to do with myself.”
“You wouldn’t have to know.”
“What are you saying, Josef?”
He squeezed her hips and pulled her in closer, secure on his lap. I’m telling you that I am going to marry you proper, and we are going to live in a real house, and have a garden, and have babies, and our life is going to change.”
“Josef! Don’t joke with me. It’s cruel.”
“Roxanna, my love. I am not joking.” He looked at her seriously and kissed her crimson painted lips. “I am going to take you away.”
“When?” Her eyes were sparkling.
“Well, I’m not sure yet. I just had the idea, but I am going to figure it out. Soon. Definitely soon.”
“I’m yours, Josef, to take away when you’re ready. I’ll be waiting for you.”
“I know you will be, Roxanna. And I’ll be coming for you.”
They sat there together, enjoying the fire. It was late. Ragul sang an eerie tune, in the silence that remained after Celeste’s boys had gone to bed. Roxanna soon stood up and said she too was going to bed. The only ones who remained were Ragul and Josef. Josef had always liked Ragul’s singing. Tonight it felt sad and nostalgic, as if Ragul was homesick for another place too, as if Ragul was also trapped inside the circus, lost to its crooked ways.
Josef knew their only chance of leaving this godforsaken forest in this godforsaken town was by blaming Ronan for Winifred’s murder. Part of him felt guilty. What if the boy was innocent? But the other part of him just wanted this all to be done with. He knew what he had to do, and he resented Homer for it, but it was straightforward enough, and it would start the ball rolling. He knew Ronan would come; Ragul said he saw him in the forest earlier that day. Josef would be right here, waiting.
The old man made it to the edge of the forest. He had seen the circus people come and go from this path, so he assumed it would lead him to their camp. Determined to find Ronan, he pushed any fears he had out of his mind. Yes, it was dark, but he had his lantern and his cane and his coat. Anyone he came into contact with would understand when he explained he was simply looking for his grandson to take back home.
Tall, dark pine trees loomed overhead, and the path led straight into darkness. The old man gulped and took one step forward, and then another, and another. It was slow going, but he made it far enough down the path that he could smell a campfire. He looked up and saw a flickering of reddish light through the trees. He had made it. He blew out his lantern so as not to be seen. The old man said a silent prayer. Please God, give me strength, he said to himself as he stepped out of the forest into the clearing of the camp. He stopped as he saw Ronan suddenly marching towards the fire pit. The two men sitting near the flames looked up in surprise.
Ronan didn’t see his grandfather as he marched into the camp. Nor did he notice Homer following him. All he saw was the fire. For some reason, he thought that if he made it to the fire pit, he would be taken seriously, and all would be set right.
Josef greeted him gruffly. “Hello, Ronan. My name is Josef.”
Ronan stopped about five paces from the fire. He carried a thick branch in his hand. “Yes. We’ve met before.”
“We’ve been expecting your return,” Josef said.
“Oh yeah? And why’s that?”
“I think you know who killed Winifred.”
“I don’t have any idea who murdered that poor girl.” Ronan transferred the branch to his other hand. “Besides, that is not why I came back.”
“Then why did you?”
Ronan took a deep breath. “I’ve come to join your circus.”
“You will never be one of us. Not after what you’ve done.”
“What do you mean after what I’ve done? I haven’t done anything.” He gripped the branch in his hands like a baseball bat.
“It was you who killed that girl.”
“Me?”
“You heard me.”
His grandfather gasped. Of course Ronan didn’t know anything about that. Ronan was a good boy. Ronan was going to become a priest one day. He didn’t know anything about murder.
His grandfather had heard enough. It was time to get Ronan and go home. But as the old man stepped out of the forest, and hobbled toward the fire, Homer snuck up behind Ronan and reached out to snatch the branch out of his hand. Ronan reacted, spun around and yanked the branch back.
“Give it here, Ronan,” Homer snarled. “You are out numbered. Put your weapon down.”
His grandfather hurried, he was almost close enough to speak up and stop this nonsense.
“All I ever wanted to do was join the circus,” Ronan wailed, his bottom lip quivering, the branch trembling in his hands.
“Well, you threw away your chance when you decided to murder one of our most beloved members,” Homer accused.
Ronan lost his temper. He lost all ability to think clearly. His mind filled with rage, and he swung his large branch at Homer, but Homer ducked, revealing his grandfather, standing there, in shock as to what was happening. The branch swung out of control and hit his grandfather right in the temple. His grandfather fell to the floor, and didn’t move.
Everyone was silent. And then Ronan dropped to his knees and put his head to his grandfather’s chest. His heart was not beating. Ronan let out a godforsaken shr
iek, like none the forest had ever heard before.
Jana’s head shot straight up. The blood-curdling scream that emanated throughout the forest also pierced through her consciousness like a dagger in the gut. Darby tried to pull her in close to him and tell her that it was okay, but she wriggled her way out of his grasp and stood up.
“That scream came from camp.”
Darby looked up at her and shook his head. “Jana, we agreed we would stay here until sunrise. We don’t want anything bad happening to you.”
“Yeah, but if something is going on at camp, I need to be there.”
“Not if it puts you in danger.”
“I’m in danger anyway. Something terrible could be happening. I need to go help. I can’t ignore the troupe.”
Darby knew that he wouldn’t be able to talk her out of it. He knew that she was stubborn and would go whether he went with her or not.
“Okay, let’s go then.”
He stood up and grabbed the two bowls they’d used for dinner and the tapestry. The tall grass was bent where they sat, leaving a large imprint. For some reason it made Darby smile.
“Come on,” Jana said, “We need to get going. Something terrible could have happened.”
“Alright, I’m ready.”
Darby threw the tapestry around his neck, held the two bowls in one hand, and grabbed Jana’s hand with the other. They ran through the field hand in hand until they reached the edge of the forest. Darby stopped her and pulled her into his chest.
“Jana, I don’t want anything bad happening to you. You are the dearest thing to my heart. I tracked you for weeks, and I’ve loved you up close and from afar. To lose you would be the most tragic thing I can think of.”