Her sister’s blue eyes locked onto hers, and Allie could tell she’d been crying. Her heart squeezed, and it seemed she was able to muster up that responsible person, because she put her arm around her and gave her a hug. “I know it sucks, Dani. But we have each other.”
She expected her sister to hug her back, but Dani pulled out of her hug. “I can’t believe you did that. I wanted to take those freaking M&Ms and—”
“Hey, I know.”
“I am never coming here again. I’m never seeing her again.”
Allie nodded slowly and reached out to touch her sister’s arm. “It’s okay.”
Dani shrugged her off. “It’s not okay, and I’m still pissed at you for being a doormat.”
“Don’t talk to me that way.”
“Why, what are you going to do? Kick me out, not give me food? Fine, then do it.”
Allie schooled her features, compartmentalizing her hurt, and used her professional skills, pretending Dani was one of her kids from work. She knew where this was coming from. When she had taken Dani out of their mother’s care, it had been out of necessity. The promises her mother had made Allie had all been broken, and Allie’d had no choice but to pull her ten-year-old sister out. She knew Dani hadn’t gotten over the feeling of abandonment. She also knew that Dani had no idea why she still felt indebted to their mother. “We’re stuck together, kid.”
“I’m done, Allie. I don’t want to be stuck with you anymore. How can you be so tough and so stupid at the same time?”
Hurt slashed through her. Allie stared into her sister’s eyes and tried not to cry. She saw the maturity there, years ahead of where she usually was. She owed it to her sister to tell her the secret she’d kept buried from her for so long. “I’ve been trying to protect you. I know you already despise Mom, and I just didn’t want to make it worse.”
Dani stood there, fiddling with the red scarf around her neck and watching her. “What are you talking about?”
Allie kept her voice low and tried to make it brief. “I gave her the money because I owe her.”
“For what?”
“For choosing me.” She looked down at her boots, wishing she could take back what she’d started. She never opened up to anyone, but maybe it was time. Maybe it was time Dani understood everything.
“Choosing you over what?”
“Over her boyfriend at the time. She took my word for something. She took my word over his,” she whispered, trying to rein in her emotions, the memories, so that Dani would remain calm.
“What was it about?”
Allie looked over Dani’s shoulder, concentrating on the glowing Exit sign. “He, uh, started coming into my room at night.”
Dani squeezed her eyes shut and covered her ears, shaking her head. “No, no, no, I can’t deal with this. No.”
And then she was gone. Allie watched her disappear down the empty stairwell, tears blurring her vision. She wouldn’t go after her now. She could barely breathe. Just starting to speak had drained her of all the strength she had left. She had just spoken about something so dark from her past, and she was shutting down. She wanted to sit down and cry. For once, she needed someone around her to be stronger than her. She never should have said anything to Dani. She wasn’t ready. She got that she needed to blow off steam, and she knew Dani had a good group of friends. So Dani would probably go to her best friend’s house. And she…this wasn’t something she could tell Ethan. How could he possibly understand this? She looked around the filthy hallway, the smells that were familiar now clinging to her clothes. No, Ethan would never be able to relate to any of this. Where she was, who she was, would never be enough for Ethan.
Chapter Five
Ethan straightened his tie as the elevator doors opened. He made his way down the corridor of the Dane Building Group, the familiarity of it roping him into thinking about all the times he’d been here as a kid, a teenager, an adult.
When he’d been little, he’d wanted to work here, alongside his father. He had always thought that was his destiny. His father would bring him into work and Ethan would listen attentively, fascinated by meetings and the way his father commanded authority. He loved how smart his father sounded. He wanted to be just like him. He had always been smarter than Carson, worked harder than Carson, and at one point in his life, his father had known that. He and his father had bonded. Until the day the doctors told them all just how weak Ethan was. That was the day he and his father had grown apart. That was the end of his trips to the office with his father. The end of being connected to his father and the beginning of Carson’s rise to power.
For a while, Ethan had been too sick to care. He’d seen it happening, he’d sensed it happening. He felt like a toy that had been rejected for not being perfect anymore. Even when he’d recovered, things didn’t go back to normal. Ethan had to work harder just to prove that he was capable of doing what he could before. But his father’s faith had been lost, and so had his.
Little competitions began between him and Carson, their rivalry only growing. He knew Carson had been threatened by him, and there was no way Ethan would let him win. Despite all his accomplishments, his better grades, his extra-curricular achievements, none of it was good enough for their father anymore.
Ethan stopped outside the boardroom, his gaze wandering over the employees sitting at the long table. His father was at the head; Carson sat to his right. A long time ago, Ethan had imagined himself sitting there. Maybe this competition was his father’s way of giving him his rightful place in the company. Maybe his father really did want him beside him now.
Ethan grabbed the door handle, his hand clenching the cool steel bar tightly. Too bad he wasn’t doing any of this for that reason. He didn’t want to sit beside his father anymore. Or any of them. He just needed to prove that he could.
“Mr. Dane,” a voice called out.
He turned to see his father’s secretary walking toward him.
“Don’t worry, Rose. I’m going to see myself in.”
Conversation petered out as he approached the head of the table where his father was sitting. The surprise and gleam of pride in his father’s eyes should have filled him with satisfaction, but for some reason it didn’t. Someone brought him one of the leather swivel chairs, and he sat down next to his father, opposite Carson. His brother’s face was red and it looked like he was ready to break into a sweat, which was precisely the reaction he wanted. Ethan never came to these meetings. He knew Carson saw it as Ethan marking his territory. He liked to think of it as that and also enjoying being a shit-disturber, just as Carson had mercilessly done to him when they were younger.
“Hi, Dad,” he said as he sat down. He turned to everyone at the table, some of the faces familiar. “Good morning, everyone.”
He settled into his chair and gave Carson a smirk.
His father stood and gestured to him. “For those of you who don’t know, this is my talented son, Ethan. He’s decided to surprise us and listen in to today’s meeting. Hopefully one day we can convince him to join us here at Dane Building Group.”
Ethan forced himself to keep his expression calm. It was the first time in years his father had offered him any kind of praise, backhanded or not. It should have made him feel proud, especially considering how shitty Carson was looking.
His brother leaned forward. “This is a closed meeting.”
Ethan leaned forward, eyes locked on his brother’s, and took a long drink of his water. He was very aware of their father staring at the interchange, along with everyone else pretending not to stare. “I’m a shareholder.”
“That’s right, Carson. Ethan may also be taking over the company if his proposal is as good as I expect it will be.”
Carson looked as though his head was about to explode. If he liked his brother more, he’d almost feel bad for him. Their father was really a disloyal manipulator.
Carson leaned back in his chair and spoke a little too loudly. “Well, that’s if he can manage all
that. We all know he must be busy with all his doctor’s appointments.”
He eyed Carson’s chair and decided it wouldn’t tip over easily.
“I’m sure he’ll manage, he always does. I’m glad you joined us today, Ethan. I was going to call and invite you to the club tonight for dinner. Seven o’clock.”
Of course it was assumed that he’d say yes. His father hadn’t even asked, just commanded. He wasn’t Carson. As much as he was jealous of Carson, he wasn’t him. “Thanks for the invitation, but I have plans.” Much better plans.
Carson choked on his coffee. Their father nodded stiffly but didn’t say a word, and soon the meeting started. He sat there, thinking how crazy this all was. He’d thought he’d get some sort of high by being here and screwing with Carson’s head, but he didn’t. Nothing compared to how he felt when he was around Allie.
Hell. This day was going to hell, and it wasn’t over yet. It had started out so promising—ambushing the meeting, watching Carson squirm, having their father openly favor him…but instead he was left with a crappy feeling in the pit of his stomach. He found himself rotting in guilt because of Allie and the shelter.
Ethan slammed his phone down on his desk and stared out the window. No one was home. Allie was working late, and Dani was wherever it was teenagers went close to the weekend.
He didn’t know how he was going to face Allie tonight. Or tomorrow. Or any day, unless some kind of miracle happened. Since he didn’t believe in those, he was SOL.
The phone rang and he picked it up, hoping that maybe it was his office with some kind of good news. He had already touched base with his lawyer and good friend, Nicholas Wright, and started the ball rolling on finding a different property for the shelter. If he couldn’t keep the shelter open in that location, then he needed to work on Plan B. So far, the problem was that all the suitable properties were too distant from the city. Not at all what Allie wanted.
“Hello, Mr. Dane, this is Julie at Dr. Peterson’s office. I wanted to let you know that your appointment scheduled for December first has been rescheduled for the fifth.”
Ethan ran his free hand down his face. “That’s not going to work for me, Julie.”
“I’m sorry, but Dr. Peterson’s on vacation until then. It’s only a few days.”
“These appointments are scheduled in advance. I did the scan and blood work six weeks ago.”
“Maybe I could check and see if another doctor can see you. It’s just for results so—”
“No, I don’t want to see another doctor. I’ll see Dr. Peterson on the fifth then.”
“Thank you, Mr. Dane. The appointment is for three p.m.”
“Fine.” He hung up the phone, not in the mood for pleasantries. He made the adjustments to his calendar, and then chucked his red pen on the desk. He stood, letting his chair roll along the hardwood and crash against the wall a few seconds later. Walking over to his bookshelf, he stared at the picture that had been with him since he was a kid. He picked it up, frowning as he looked at the kids in it. Sometimes it felt as though it had never happened, that he wasn’t that kid, that he didn’t know those people. Sometimes he felt like he still was that kid, that he would forever be that kid. That kid had been fearless at one time. He glanced over at the small, wooden box on his desk, contemplating opening it. He knew what was inside. He opened it once a year, put the contents in his pocket, and took it with him to his doctor’s appointment. It was his good luck charm—not that he’d ever admit that kind of sappy weakness aloud. The objects inside were given to him by two of the most important females in his life at one point. He allowed himself to think of them this time of year, and then he was better off just pushing their memory aside for the rest of it.
He put the silver-rimmed picture down, his fingers leaving prints on the polished frame. He wasn’t going to open the box. Another two weeks. He’d have to wait two weeks for sanity. Two weeks to pretend like he was this normal guy that was worthy of being Allie’s friend. And now he knew for sure he couldn’t give in to the attraction he felt for her. Allie needed a guy with solid principles, who didn’t give a rat’s ass about revenge. And she certainly didn’t need a guy who was weak.
He walked out of the room. He needed to run.
Allie walked past the corridor that led to Ethan’s private wing; she slowed her steps. She glanced down the end of the hall, where the room to his home gym was half open. He never left his doors open, but then he wasn’t expecting her home now. He probably thought he was here by himself. The pounding of footsteps on a treadmill seemed loud in the empty condo.
She knew she was here because she wanted to talk to him, which was crazy. She wanted his support, to see his eyes soften with concern, hear that gravelly, intimate tone of his voice when he spoke to her. She was starting to lean on him, and as scary as that was for her, she couldn’t help it. Her entire life she’d been alone, and she was a single parent to her teenage sister, but living here with Ethan made her feel not so alone, made her crave…him.
She slowly walked toward the sound. Maybe she’d close the door for him. Pausing outside the room, she fought the urge to peek inside. Close the door and walk away, Allie. Except she caught a flash of movement and bare skin. Curiosity won and she glanced through the opening and she felt her jaw disengage. Ethan didn’t jog; Ethan ran. Long, powerful strides that made it obvious he was in here every day. His shirt was off, draped on the handlebars. Sweat dripped down his torso, and she stared like a kid in a candy store at the ripple of perfect muscle, the taut, rock-hard stomach, the sheer masculine beauty that she had always pictured under his clothes. Yes, mouthwatering, except for the look on his face. He looked as though he was running with a purpose, away from something. The veins in his neck were strained, the lean lines of his face pulled tight. His expression was grim, determined.
She backed away, feeling like an intruder. It looked personal, his run. She pulled the door shut slowly, hoping he wouldn’t notice her. The door to his office was open, and what was it with her today? She was not a nosy person, but there was another side of him, almost like he had a whole other life.
She should keep walking back to her room. Unfortunately her feet didn’t get the memo, and she walked into his office. Like the rest of the condo, it was immaculate—dark floors and dark, masculine furniture. This room also had a view of the city along one wall. There was a fireplace with a thick, mahogany mantle flanked by stunning, floor-to-ceiling, built-in, mahogany bookcases. Ethan’s desk was neat, his laptop shut in the middle.
She walked over to admire the bookcases. Her fingers ran over the spines of the books, taking in the titles. She paused, her gaze scanning the titles again. She took a step back from the shelf, the vast number of books with the same theme finally registering. Her stomach dropped faster than an elevator in free fall as an idea percolated. The one word that was a constant in all the titles sent a chill down her spine that she couldn’t shrug. Cancer.
What did that mean? Why would Ethan have over two dozen books on the subject? That went beyond just human interest, unless maybe one of his parents had been diagnosed and he was doing research. But then the image of him and the crazy smoothies Dani teased him about appeared. And the highly controlled way he ate, the resolution to only allow himself sugar in December. And the way she’d just witnessed him running.
She folded her arms under her breasts. Maybe these were all isolated habits. Maybe none of them had to do with anything other than a highly disciplined lifestyle. She looked up and her heart stopped for a brief second as her gaze landed on a picture of a little boy and girl. Her hand shook slightly as she picked up the picture. The little girl was smiling, but her face was pale and she had a Mickey Mouse scarf around her head, which appeared to be bald underneath. She was dressed in a hospital gown. The little boy beside her was Ethan, it had to be. His eyes were unmistakable, and the way they looked into the camera…she knew that boy. He was smiling at the camera as well, his arm was around the girl, and he was we
aring a hospital gown and a matching handkerchief around his head. Her entire body tingled with goose bumps and dread.
“Shoot,” she mumbled, wiping away a few tears that dropped onto the glass. She bit her lower lip and blinked until she got herself together. She was jumping to conclusions. She was invading his privacy, but she couldn’t look away from the little boy.
She looked over at his empty desk, picturing him there. Handsome, charming, controlled. He embodied health and virility. No, this was all just random coincidence. Her gaze went to the desk calendar and the red circles in early December. She glanced at the doorway, making sure no one was coming, and then tiptoed over to the desk, still clutching the picture to her chest. There were scratches and indiscernible words on December first. But inside the circle on December fifth were the words “D-Day” in his handwriting. What did that mean?
The frame slipped out of her fingers and tumbled onto the desk, knocking open a small box. She scrambled, quickly trying to put the lid back on the box while swearing at her stupidity. A small, handwritten note and a worn, paper hospital identity bracelet inside the box stopped her. Her heart was beating painfully now, and she knew she was a total emotional wreck. She shouldn’t be doing this, she was not a snoop, but all this stuff was making itself so accessible, like the universe was deciding she needed to know this about him and…she was terrified of what this meant about Ethan.
She ignored the tremor in her hand and picked up the hospital bracelet. The typed letters were faded but she could still make them out: Cara Brons DOB 07.08.1982, The Hospital for Sick Kids. She tried swallowing as she quickly returned the bracelet and picked up the note, closing her eyes as she recognized the familiar words of the serenity prayer. How many times had she recited those words? How many times had she taught them to the kids at the shelter? How many times had she begged her mother to truly live by those words? Who had given this to Ethan? Who was Cara Brons?
The Billionaire's Christmas Proposal (Billionaire For Christmas #2) Page 6