Kat walked over to watch the nurses clean Gia off. She looked up at Nathan and Stella, eyes full of tears. “She’s just beautiful, you guys. So incredible.”
“Why isn’t she crying?” Stella asked hoarsely. She’d fallen back onto the pillow after delivering the placenta. Her was head turned, watching everything they did to Gia like a hawk while the doctor finished up her stuff.
“She’s fine, sweetie,” one of the nurse’s called out as she wrapped Gia in a white blanket. “Just chillin.’”
“She must get that from Nathan’s side,” Fi said, snapping a thousand pictures of Stella, Gia, the nurses, the doctor, and, unfortunately, Nathan.
Who was still just standing there like a dumbstruck asshole.
“Nathan?” He looked down to find Stella looking up at him; a tiny smile tugging at her lips. “You okay, my love?”
Nathan stared at her face. Awestruck. And terrified. And more in love with her than he’d ever been – which he would have thought impossible 14 hours ago.
“Stella…” He pushed her errant waves back off her damp forehead and stared into her eyes. He wanted to say a million things, but all he could manage was “Oh, my God.”
She grabbed his hand and squeezed. “I know.” Stella turned to find them walking Gia over to her. Stella lifted her arms and took Gia from them and Nathan’s heart broke into a million pieces…in a good way, if that was possible.
Watching Stella hold their baby like that…like it was the most natural thing in the world…Nathan had never seen anything more beautiful or perfect and he knew he never would.
“She’s gorgeous,” Stella whispered, rubbing Gia’s chubby little cheek with her fingertip.
And she was gorgeous. With a mess of dark hair, smooth pink skin, and the most perfect little lips. Nathan remembered studying those lips on the ultrasound until his eyes had crossed. And now he was seeing them in person. It was fucking surreal.
“Here…”
Stella lifted the baby bundle up to Nathan, but he hesitated. “I don’t think I should. Yet. I might drop her.”
“Sit down,” Gigi said, already shoving him into the chair. She took the baby from Stella, oohed and ahhed over her for a few seconds and handed her to Nathan. “There you go. There’s your daddy.”
Weird sparks of electricity shot through every nerve ending Nathan had as he held her tiny little body in his hands. He stared at her little face and nose and lips and long, dark eyelashes and was filled with such emotion…he almost couldn’t handle the power of all of the feelings.
Our baby.
“Hi, Gia,” he whispered and she pursed her little baby lips in response. Nathan smiled, eyes overflowing with tears of joy.
Stella’s heart was so full she worried it might burst. The look on Nathan’s face as he held Gia was priceless. And everything she’d dreamed of and fought for all those months ago when she’d thought she’d lost him.
“That’s some Ciaramitaro hair. And definitely our little overbite,” Kat said, rubbing Gia’s lips with her fingertip as Nathan’s tears continued to flow. She straightened up and gave him a couple pats on the back. “But a Drazek nose for sure. And, God willing, the Drazek personality, right, Nathan?”
Stella watched, still dazed and overwhelmed, as Nathan stared down at the little person who was half him and half her. And all Daddy’s Girl already as she wrapped her hand around his finger.
“Let’s go, girls,” Kat said, rounding up the sisters and trying to shepherd them out the door. “Let’s go tell everyone the good news. I’m sure Marco’s cuticles are shredded by now.”
Gigi, Fi, and Kat all gave the baby a quick kiss and Stella and Nathan quick hugs before filing out.
Stella didn’t know when or how, but suddenly she and Nathan were all alone with Gia. Just the three of them. Their little family.
“You okay?” she asked him.
He lifted his whiskey eyes to hers. They were less sad, but still full of fear. “I don’t think so,” he replied softly.
And she knew he wasn’t being facetious.
But Stella felt herself drifting. Her eyelids were suddenly heavy and she knew at any minute she was going to pass out harder than Nathan had. Poor guy.
“Come sit by me.” She scooted over a little and Nathan sat perched on the edge of the bed, still holding Gia like he might break her. They sat there like that, staring at a blissfully unaware Gia, until she crinkled up her nose and they both laughed.
“I think we’re annoying her already,” Stella said. But when she looked up, Nathan wasn’t laughing anymore. In fact, he looked as serious as she’d ever seen him. Stella held his eyes. “What are you thinking?”
Nathan cleared his throat. “You look like you need a nap, so I’m gonna keep this brief. I have a few things I need to say. I don’t want to because they scare me to say. Because I feel like if I say them, it will all go to shit.” Nathan took a deep breath. “But Dr. Pastorelli says I need to say them anyway. Because…” He made a distasteful face. “Because I deserve to feel happiness. And talking about the happiness isn’t going to make it any less real. And he says I owe it to you to tell you how I’m feeling. To make myself vulnerable. And that your acceptance of those feelings will…I don’t know…help with my trust issues or some shit.”
God, I love this man.
Stella smiled at him through tears. “Okay. Awesome. Shoot.”
He met her eyes and held them. “Thank you. For this. For all of it.” Nathan looked down at Gia, then back up at Stella. “Not just for Gia. But for everything.” He inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly. Then he scoffed. “God, am I shitty at this.”
“No, you’re not.” Stella kissed his bicep and leaned her head on it. “You’re doing just fine. Keep going.”
“I know I’ve told you some stuff…about how it was before for me. About how…lonely…I was.” Nathan looked down at Gia. “About how I wanted to marry someone just like me so my life could be really quiet and simple.”
When Stella snorted, he smiled. “Yeah. This is nothing like how I thought my life would turn out. Thank God.”
Stella closed her eyes and snuggled into Nathan’s bicep. “You didn’t stand a chance the second I laid eyes on you.” She yawned. “I had to have you. And now I do. And Gia. And I love you both so much.”
“Stella, you, uh…you saved me. Seriously. I was dead inside before I met you and I know I would have stayed that way. You never gave up on me even when you should have. You love me unconditionally and help me see the good in myself. You are my best friend and I am so lucky I get to spend the rest of my life with you.”
Stella lifted her fifty pound head and smiled up at Nathan through her tears. “You saved me too. You made me feel beautiful when I thought that was impossible. You put up with all of my BS and antics and dramatics and love me anyway.” She lifted her head and Nathan kissed her gently. Stella pulled back a few inches and whispered, “And you are my best friend and I am so lucky I get to spend the rest of my life with you.”
Stella’s eyelids drooped a little and she was now full-on battling herself to stay awake – beautiful declarations of love aside.
Nathan set Gia down in the bassinette, tucked the covers up over Stella’s chest, and kissed her forehead tenderly.
Stella snuggled into the pillow, quickly drifting into sleep. Knowing in her heart of hearts that she could let go because whatever happened, Nathan would take care of it.
Because her Sergeant Stickler always did and always would.
“I love you, Sergeant Stickler,” Stella murmured before falling completely asleep.
“I love you too, my gypsy. More than life itself.”
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All of Me Page 29