“I confess I never did.”
“She hadn’t been there long. I thought she looked quiet and rather shy,” I said.
“And young Jonathan took advantage of that, eh?”
“He swears he didn’t.”
“Well, I suppose he would, wouldn’t he?”
“Not Jonathan. He’s amazingly frank. He told me seriously that she had come into his room of her own accord.”
“Why should she do that?” asked Amaryllis.
“Because, my dear, Jonathan is a very personable young man,” Peter explained. “That’s so, is it not, Jessica?”
“I don’t know much about these matters. If you say so, I suppose it is.”
“Well, his allure got him into serious trouble this time. I somehow don’t think it is going to blow over.”
“He is the heir, after David,” I said.
“Don’t forget we have our little Peterkin now. That has undermined the dashing Jonathan’s claim to the throne somewhat.”
Edward said: “It’s a sad business. From what I understand on the face of it it would seem that he summoned the girl… but things are often not what they seem.”
He was looking ahead of him and I felt a twinge of alarm. I was beginning to look for double meanings in all his remarks.
“It wouldn’t surprise me,” put in Peter, “and perhaps it would be a good thing, if Jonathan was asked to slip gracefully out.”
“I agree with Jessica. He is the heir. After all his father would presumably have had a share in Eversleigh had he lived. Jonathan could become quite steady once he has his responsibilities.”
I smiled at Edward. He was so balanced in his judgments, and he always had a special word for the oppressed. It was hard to think of Jonathan in that category, but in this instance he was generally looked upon as the one to blame.
I said: “My mother and I are rather concerned about the girl. We have been wondering where she went when she left the house.”
“Poor child,” said Peter. “I do think this will set his grandfather against Jonathan more than ever.”
Tea was brought. I served our guests and then took Edward’s over to him. He smiled at me tenderly.
There was a little shelf which could be placed across the chair and which we found very useful. This had been set up and I placed the cup on it. But as I turned away my sleeve must have caught in the shelf and the cup went over; the shelf was dragged off the chair. Edward made an effort to save it and fell from the chair to the floor.
I cried out in dismay. Peter dashed over. Edward lay on the floor, looking very pale and I guessed he was in pain.
I said: “Call James. He knows the right way to lift Edward.”
Peter was trying to help Edward to rise and I could see we needed James’ expert hands.
He came to us and his face was creased in consternation when he saw Edward. He half lifted him and then gave a little cry. Edward was back on the floor and James was writhing in agony.
“What’s happened, James?” I asked.
“I’ve strained something. It’s my back. I can’t move without excruciating pain.”
“Let me help,” said Peter.
“It needs two,” said James.
“Toby is outside,” I cried. “I’ll get him.” I ran to the window where I could see Toby wreathed in the smoke from the bonfire.
“Toby,” I cried, “come quickly.”
He came running and, taking one look at Edward, he saw at once what was required of him.
“We want to get Mr. Barrington into his chair, Toby,” said James.
“Right,” said Toby. Peter stood by. “Best manage on my own, sir,” added Toby and, with the greatest of ease it seemed, he picked up Edward and sat him gently in his chair.
“Edward,” I said, “are you all right?”
“Yes, quite. It’s poor James I’m thinking of.”
James’ face was white and I saw the sweat glistening on his skin. He said: “It’ll pass.”
He was about to wheel Edward’s chair across the room. I said: “I am sure Toby would do that. You’re going to find it difficult, James. Do you know what’s happened?”
“I’ve done it before. It can come suddenly. But it will pass. All I need is a little rest.”
“Then for heaven’s sake take it. What about Toby’s coming to give you a hand?”
Toby smiled: “I’d like that, Mrs. Barrington.”
“I thought you were so fond of your work in the garden?”
“I am … but if I could be of more use …”
“You could, I believe. The others can weed and make bonfires. James, you ought to rest I’m sure. And Edward, you’ve had a shock. You go along and help with Mr. Barrington, Toby.”
James looked relieved, though a little ashamed of himself for being so weak as to have an ailment. He was the sort of man who would pretend it didn’t exist.
Peter said: “Let me help.”
“We can manage, sir,” said Toby, his expression showing the delight he felt to be of such use.
“I’ll come with you, Edward,” I said. And to the others: “Excuse me.”
Edward said. “No. You stay. Don’t fuss, Jessica. I’ll be perfectly all right.”
I nodded. I always obeyed Edward on such occasions.
The door closed on them.
“Poor Edward,” said Peter.
“It is so sad,” murmured Amaryllis, no doubt comparing my barren life with her fruitful one.
“It was good that the bonfire man appeared so fortuitously,” said Peter.
“He seemed very eager to help,” added Amaryllis.
And as I sat there, the smell of burning leaves permeating the air, and talked in a desultory way, I thought how fortunate they were to have met, loved and married and to have two beautiful children to prove the success of their union.
Then I looked ahead to my own future. As far as I could see it would go on like this for ever.
Edward was none the worse for his fall. He said he was pleased that it had happened because it had brought Toby in to help James. He had been anxious about James for some time.
“I knew I was too heavy for him to lift,” he said.
“Toby seems a very pleasant young man.”
“Yes. Very eager to help. I feel a great burden. There are you, James, and Clare … and now Toby all waiting on one useless cripple. But you are the one I worry about most. Sometimes I feel it is too much for you.”
“What nonsense is all this?”
“You … young … beautiful… tied to me. It seems so wrong.”
“Please, Edward, you promised me not to talk like this. I chose this, didn’t I?”
“Sometimes people make rash choices and then they are stuck with them. It’s no life for you, Jessica. I was thinking of Amaryllis. There she is a happy wife and mother.”
“I wouldn’t change places.”
“You are so good, Jessica.”
I thought: If only he knew! I was almost on the point of telling him, of trying to explain. I love you, Edward, but I love Jake in a different way. It isn’t anything to do with your being crippled. I love Jake as I can never love anyone else. I’m not the same person when I am with him. Everything becomes exciting and wonderful.
How could I tell him that?
He was right. I had chosen this way. In a moment of pique I had chosen it. And now it was my life.
His next words startled me. “What about that man … Tamarisk’s father?”
“What… what of him?” I asked faintly.
“What is going to happen about him?”
“What do you mean?”
“Is Tamarisk going to live with him?”
“I think she ought to be given time to decide.”
“Is he agreeable to that? Did you see much of him when you were in London?”
“Oh yes. He came to dine with us, and Tamarisk was with him quite a few times.”
“Do you think she will want to go with him?
”
“I think she is getting fond of him but she is so devoted to Jonathan.”
“Yes. That’s almost a love affair, isn’t it? It’s surprising that the young can have these fierce feelings.”
“Tamarisk is fierce in her emotions.”
“I expect it’s a phase.”
“I think it is what will make her want to stay here. She wants to be where Jonathan is.”
“Time is the answer.”
“You mean … don’t rush into anything.”
“Exactly. Let her see as much of her father as she can. I suppose he would like to be asked down here.”
“He might find it difficult to leave London. I believe he has business there, and he also has that estate in Cornwall. Perhaps something will be decided soon.”
“In the meantime all you can do is take her to London to see him.”
“Y-yes. I shall want to go up before Christmas. Will you be all right?”
“Certainly. I have all these people to take care of me.”
“You don’t mind my going?”
“I miss you, of course. I miss you very much, but on the other hand I get a comfortable sort of feeling that at least you are getting a little respite. I know how much you enjoy those visits to London. You always come back rejuvenated.”
My deceit weighed heavily on me. But at the same time I was thrilled at the prospect of another visit to London.
I asked Tamarisk if she would like to go again. She wanted to know if Jonathan was going. I said I did not know. I thought he might not be eager to after the last disastrous visit.
“What happened about that girl?” asked Tamarisk.
“What girl?”
“Prue, of course. What was Jonathan supposed to have done to her?”
“Jonathan says he did nothing.”
“Then he didn’t. So why was there all that fuss?”
“Oh … it’s all over now.”
She stamped her foot. “It’s not over. Great-Grandpapa Frenshaw is very cross with Jonathan and he might not leave him Eversleigh.”
Where did she learn such things? Listening at doors, I supposed, slyly questioning the servants. I knew she would be adept at that.
She went on: “That girl came into his bedroom. He didn’t send for her.”
“Who told you that?”
“Never mind,” she said severely. “It’s not the point. She came in and he didn’t send for her. Then she blamed him and said he tore her clothes. She was lying.”
“It’s all over now,” I said. “We don’t want to worry about it any more.”
“I want to know the truth. I’m going to make Prue Parker tell the truth.”
“Prue Parker has gone. We shall never see her again.”
“She must be somewhere.”
“Listen,” I said, “do you want to go up to London to see your father?”
“Yes.”
“Very well, then. We’ll go.”
David and Claudine came with us this time. Neither of them really wished to leave Eversleigh, but there were some products which David had to buy. Peter was already in London. He had left some days before—on urgent business, he said.
When we arrived at the house in Albemarle Street he was there.
I could not stem the exuberance which was rising in me. I should see Jake. It would be difficult to be alone with him because there was Tamarisk to be looked after. It had been different when Jonathan was there to take her off my hands.
Jake was delighted to see us. Tamarisk asked a good many questions about his home in Cornwall which made me think she might be considering going there. There was no doubt that she was rather fascinated by him. Who would not be by Jake?
There was an occasion when Tamarisk was out of the room and we had a few words together.
“When?” he asked.
“It’s difficult,” I replied. “There is Tamarisk …”
“If you could come one evening.”
“I can hardly do that.”
“We could say we were at a concert… a theatre … Who is with you?”
“David and Claudine.”
“They would not be as watchful as your mother. I fancied sometimes she was … aware.”
“She may well have been. She is aware of a good deal… particularly when it concerns me.”
“This is too frustrating,” he said. “We shall be together. I can’t stay here just waiting for you to come to me. I’ll find some reason why you have to be here.”
“No … not in this house. It seems too great a betrayal.”
“We’ll stay in an inn … I’ll rent a house …”
I shook my head.
“What are we going to do, Jessica?”
“The wise thing would be to say goodbye. If Tamarisk would go with you to Cornwall that would be a solution.”
“And never see you … or rarely!”
“There isn’t anything for us, Jake.”
“Nonsense. You love me. I love you.”
“It’s too late. Someone once said that life was a matter of being in a certain place when the time was right. The time was wrong for us.”
“My dear Jessica, we have to make it right.”
I shook my head. “It is impossible. I couldn’t hurt Edward. He relies on me. He has suffered. I can’t just use people like that.”
“He would understand.”
“Yes, he would understand. But understanding doesn’t make the hurt less. He would understand too well. I will never leave him.”
“And what of me? What of us?”
“We are two strong and healthy people. We have to live our own lives in the best possible way.”
“You are condemning us to a life of emptiness.”
“You have your daughter. She is an interesting girl. You could find great joy in her, and if she gives you her affection she can be fiercely loyal.”
“As she is to Jonathan. Who else?”
I shrugged my shoulders and he went on: “To you? To the people who did so much for her? I agree she is interesting. I should be happy to have her affection … if she deigned to give it. But it is not a daughter I crave for. It is you… my own love, my Jessica.”
“I can’t see a way out then. Perhaps in time it will be easier to bear.”
“I don’t intend to stand aside and let life use me.”
“What will you do?”
“I’ll find a way.”
“You frighten me a little when you talk like that. I think you could be rather ruthless.”
“I am sure you are right,” he said.
“There is no way… except by telling Edward, and I will never do that.”
“If he knew he would understand. It is unnatural for you to be condemned to such a life.”
“He is my first duty.”
“Your duty is stronger than your love?”
“In this case it has to be.”
He shook his head. “I will find a way,” he repeated.
Tamarisk came into the room.
“Are you talking about me?” she demanded.
“You always imagine people are talking about you. Do you think you are such a fascinating subject?”
“Yes,” she said and we all laughed.
When it was time to leave Jake said he would come back with us.
“That is not necessary,” I said. “I want to call in at one of the shops and we have not far to go.”
He stood at the door waving to us. I was deep in thought remembering his words. He had looked so determined when he had said he would find a way. What could he do? There was only one way: To go to Edward and ask him to release me.
I knew I could never be completely happy again if I did that. Edward would haunt me all the days of my life.
We had turned out of Blore Street when I saw a young woman, some yards ahead of us, hurriedly start to cross the road.
In a second Tamarisk was after her. The woman disappeared round a corner. Tamarisk followed.
; What was she doing? I started to run. I did not want her to be alone in the streets of London. She knew her way to Albemarle Street, of course, but how inconsiderate of her to run off suddenly without a word.
I turned the corner. The woman was going into a building. Tamarisk went after her.
I ran as fast as I could.
Then I recognized the building. It was Frinton’s Club, that place of ill omen where Jonathan had lost five hundred pounds on his visit.
“Tamarisk!” I shouted. “Where are you going?”
I pushed open the door and went in. There was a hall carpeted in glowing red. The walls were plain white. A man was seated at a desk, staring after Tamarisk’s flying figure.
“Where are you … ?” he was beginning when he saw me … I ignored him. My eyes were on Tamarisk who was disappearing through a door which led from the hall. I followed.
There were people in the room—two men and several women. I stared in bewildered amazement. One of those women was our one-time parlourmaid, Prue Parker. But what a different Prue Parker! Her face was delicately painted and she was smartly dressed in a light navy coat trimmed with fur; her gloves were a delicate grey which matched her shoes. I realized that she was the woman whom Tamarisk had been following.
That was not all. The girl beside her was not unknown to me. On the other occasion when I had seen her she had been pretending to be blind. Yes, there with Prue Parker was the girl who had led me to that empty house.
But the greatest shock of all was the sight of the man who had risen from his chair and was staring at us as though he could not believe his eyes.
It was Peter Lansdon.
There was a silence, which seemed to go on for a long time. It was as though neither of us could believe what we saw and were trying to come to understanding in our bewildered minds.
He spoke first. “Jessica?” he murmured.
I did not answer. I looked from him to those two women.
“How … how did you get in here?” he stammered.
“We walked in,” I said.
“It’s no place for you.”
“No. I daresay not.”
“There are explanations I must give you.”
“Indeed … yes.”
He came towards me, quite calm now. Everyone else in the room was silent.
“I’ll take you and Tamarisk home,” he said.
Tamarisk cried: “I want to take her back.” She pointed at Prue. “She lied. She was the one … not Jonathan.”
Return of the Gypsy Page 34