by Raina James
Normally, he was quite content with his own company. He had never thought of himself as a solitary person. The preference was just something that had evolved in direct proportion to the band's success. Privacy was hard to come by when a good part of the year was spent touring and living the life. There was always someone demanding his attention, some commitment that had to be met, public appearances to be made. As a result, every moment he stole for himself was all the more appreciated.
That was why when Morven was on hiatus, he usually hoarded his alone time. Every break was a chance to let his guard down and really relax. Often, that meant holing up in his house, or sometimes at a small resort or crashing with the few friends who knew not to expect too much socializing out of him.
This was the first time he'd actually planned to come back the cabin. As soon as he'd come through the door with Serena yesterday morning, he'd known he shouldn't have avoided it for so long. No matter how much it had outwardly changed, this was still the place he'd grown up. Home.
The media frenzy that picture had set off wasn't winning him any points with Serena. He was sorry that her quiet, successful life had been spread out for public consumption. But now that a second chance had fallen into his lap, he planned to take full advantage of it.
Judging by Serena's reaction this morning, winning her back wouldn't be easy. He wasn't sure exactly what had been going through her mind, though he could guess. She'd looked vulnerable, hesitant, uncertain. And pissed. Maybe it hadn't been a good idea to make love with her the first night they were alone together. He couldn't regret it. He'd have her every chance he could get.
He wasn't letting her back away. She was too important to him. No way was he going to screw it up this time. Whether Serena liked it or not, he was in her life to stay.
* * * *
The cabin looked quiet when the Crossfire crunched to a stop in front of the porch. Serena turned off the engine and took the key out of the ignition. A shrill chatter made her look up in time to see a squirrel, a second critter in hot pursuit, bolt in front of the parked car. In a blink, they leapt from ground to tree and twined their way up the trunk and out of sight. Yet another female trying to outrun an amorous male.
Despite her decision to "act like an adult" about what was happening between her and Finn, Serena still had to force herself to get out of the car. The realization that she was hiding got her moving and up to the porch.
She opened the front door warily. Berating herself for acting so skittish, she pushed it wider and walked in. It's not like Finn would be lurking around the corner, waiting for his chance to leap on her, tear her clothes off and demand that she have wild, monkey sex with him. And she wasn't disappointed when she didn't immediately spot him, lurking or otherwise. Nope. Leaving the keys on the ledge by the door, she walked into the living room. Tidy, but empty.
"Finn?"
No answer. A quick check showed he wasn't in his room either, though the quilt had been straightened and the pillows were roughly lined up at the head of the bed. She went into the kitchen. Like the living room and bedroom, it was apparent Finn had spent at least some of the time while she was gone cleaning up. Hallelujah. Not that she'd thought about it in depth, but she'd assumed he might be so used to having someone else—maid, flunky, silicone-breasted bimbo with a clothing deficit—around to pick up after him that it wouldn't occur to him to do it himself. Nice to know it had.
On the kitchen table, the salt and pepper shakers had been used to prop up a note. It read, "Gone to the beach. Join me?"
Serena fingered the paper as she considered, tracing the bold, black script. Adult relationship, remember? Just sex. Right. Coming to a sudden decision, she opened the refrigerator and took out two bottles of beer.
Grass and weeds had overgrown the short footpath between the cabin and the beach, and the trees and shrubs crowded in on either side of it. After a few steps, she couldn't see the cabin behind her or the beach ahead. All she had to really do, though, was follow the music.
The private beach was shaped like a ragged crescent in a shallow bay. It boasted a strip of fine-grained, tan-colored sand bordered by large, smooth stones on either end. In her memory, the old dock of dark, weathered boards had dominated the shoreline, jutting out from the center of the beach. More planning had clearly gone into the new dock. Twice the size of its predecessor, the wood was so new it hadn't had a chance to lose that pale yellow, fresh-cut look. Permanent pilings secured it at one end of the beach, creating a larger swimming area and leaving more of the sand uncluttered.
The day was unseasonably warm for spring, especially here on the sun-warmed sand. As inviting as the water looked, Serena only had eyes for the beach's sole occupant.
Finn, barefoot in jeans and a loose, unbuttoned white shirt, was sitting in a comfortable canvas chair. His head was bent towards the acoustic guitar on his lap, fingers moving nimbly over the strings. His lips moved as he sang under his breath, but she couldn't hear the words clearly. A pad of paper took up most of the surface of the short wooden table at his elbow. A couple of empty beer bottles served as paperweights, holding the sheets down against the light breeze. As she watched, Finn stopped playing and made some notes on the pad with a stub of pencil.
She must have made some sound, or he sensed her watching, because he looked up to see her standing at the head of the path. His welcoming smile held a hint of caution. "Hey. You're back."
Serena's sneakers sank into the warm sand with a soft shushing sound as she walked over to join him. Adult relationship, she reminded herself. Keep it easy.
"Safe and sound." She tried for a contrite expression. "About the car …"
His shoulders stiffened and his eyes narrowed in anticipation of bad news. "Yeah?"
"It's sweet."
He snorted out a laugh. "That was just mean. Is one of those beers for me, or are you a two-fisted drinker now?"
Grinning, she handed it over. He twisted off the cap and tipped the bottle back. The angle of his chin as he drank made a very masculine line of his throat and chest. She forced her eyes away, focusing on opening her own beer and taking a small sip.
"Did you get everything taken care of in town?"
Serena made an affirmative sound. "D'you know there's actually an internet café there now? I checked my e-mail. Rather, trashed most of my e-mail, since I was foolish enough to have my address listed on the chamber of commerce's site. You wouldn’t believe how much crap—" She flipped a dismissive hand. "Never mind. Anyway, I checked in with Maddie and my sister and a few other people, just to let them know I'm still breathing. And I ran into an old friend I used to work at Aunt Ida's with."
"Yeah?"
Serena could almost feel Finn biting his tongue. "Don't worry. She won't say anything about seeing me there."
"Okay."
It was tempting to try to read what he had written on the pad. Instead, she took another sip of her beer and looked out over the water.
"Beautiful day," she said.
"Yup."
They both fell quiet. She felt a little guilty that they were back in awkward territory again. Last night, it had been so easy to talk to him.
"No phone calls."
"Hmmm?"
Finn gestured at the small cell phone beside his song sheets. "No calls from your kids or the store. Though I guess you know that, at least, since you were able to e-mail your assistant."
"Oh. That's good." She hadn't given the kids a thought this morning. She'd been too wrapped up in agonizing over her night with Finn. Wouldn't that have been something, if Jack and Katie had called and Finn answered. Imagining what Elizabeth would have to say about that was enough to make her cringe.
As for the whole condom issue … forgetting about protection last night was beyond stupid. She wasn't at a fertile point in her cycle, but there were other issues to consider, mainly Finn's well-publicized love life. Another wince-worthy thought. She couldn't bring herself to talk about it right now, though.
&n
bsp; The silence was creeping out of awkward and into acutely uncomfortable. Finn stared at the beer in his hand, while Serena again scanned the lake, searching for some conversational gambit to ease the tension.
"Serena, what happened?"
She fidgeted with the bottle cap in her pocket. "What do you mean?"
Finn looked up from his beer, his gaze direct. "I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable this morning, or missed something—"
"Oh no. It's not you. It's me." She smiled brilliantly, hoping it didn't look as forced as it felt. "But I'm okay now. I just needed a bit of time to myself."
He put his beer down, nestling it into the sand to keep it upright, and leaned the guitar against the table. She let him tug her down into his lap. It was easy to lean into him when he wrapped his arms loosely around her waist.
"I just want you to know this is important to me," he said, rubbing his cheek against hers. "You're important to me."
Important for now, she thought, absently picking at the label on her beer bottle. Finn must have read the skepticism in her expression. He caught her chin in one hand and urged her face up.
"What?" The breeze off the water ruffled the dark hair that fell across his forehead. His eyes were intent, unwavering. "What is it, Serena? Talk to me."
"I'm not good with this, Finn."
"Good with what?"
"Relationships. This kind of relationship." Embarrassed, she glanced away. "Geez. I wasn't good with this kind of relationship when we were dating, let alone now."
"This kind of relationship," he repeated.
"You know." She felt heat fill her cheeks, made herself look at him. "Just sex."
For an instant, she thought she'd hurt him. Something flickered in his eyes, and she immediately wanted to take back her words, tell him she didn't mean it. Self-preservation stopped her. Unless she wanted to get hurt later, it was best to be up front about this now.
Tension washed through Finn's body. His arms were still around her, but the looseness was gone. "You think that's what this is? Just sex?"
"Isn't it?"
"Hell, no!" His sudden explosion startled her. Finn moved his hands from her waist to her arms, cupping her elbows to hold her still.
"Look," he said, his voice softer as he regained his control. "This is not 'just sex.' No offense, baby, but I can have 'just sex' anytime I want. But I don't 'want.' I need you."
As if to emphasize his words, he shifted her on his lap until she had no doubt of his meaning. "You see? Even now, when I'm not too happy with you calling what we have 'just sex,' I want you, and only you."
Now it was her turn for shock. Finn wanted her? Not just an available body, but her, Serena Jeffries? It shamed her how much she wanted that to be true. Was she so desperate to have Finn back, for any length of time at all, that she'd believe anything? Not that she thought he'd lie to her, exactly. He might just … change his mind.
Finn ran his palms up and down her arms in a soothing motion. "Serena, I was an arrogant ass to ever let you go."
That sparked her temper, and she grabbed his forearms, stopping his caress. "Let me go? More like tossed me away. Finn, you broke my heart."
He winced and leaned his forehead against hers. "I know. But I broke my heart, too."
Serena stilled. "You did?"
He nodded, his eyes staring directly into hers. "Yeah."
"But why?"
"I was twenty-two, stupid and thought I knew it all. There you were, ready to drop everything for me, and I couldn’t handle it. I didn't want you to give up college, but I also had all these plans for the band that I didn't want to give up either."
"What are you talking about? I wasn’t going to drop out of college!"
"Baby, you were practically picking out curtains. Shhhh." His finger on her lips silenced her angry protest. "Think about it. Be honest."
She refused to answer. Okay, so maybe she had been thinking something along those lines. It didn't mean she would have done it. The fact she'd jumped into bed with the first guy she'd dated after Finn, gotten pregnant, had a quickie wedding and then dropped out of college proved nothing.
"I loved you," Finn said with quiet sincerity. "I didn't want you to give up anything for me. I knew what kind of plans you had, everything you hoped to accomplish by going to college. You'd worked hard for it. Give me some credit. I thought I was doing the right thing for both of us. I wish I could turn back the clock and change what I did, take back everything I said, but I can't."
Serena felt torn. "I don't know what to do."
"Give us a chance, Serena. A few days, while we're here, away from everything. A chance. That's all I'm asking. Please."
He placed a gentle kiss on the corner of her mouth. "I know we belong together. Let me prove it to you."
Not sure if she was making a mistake or not, Serena nodded, slowly. "All right."
Finn grinned, then covered her lips in a decidedly hotter expression of gratitude. She still wasn't sure she'd made the right decision. But boy, the man could kiss.
Chapter 15
Serena stopped at the back steps to take off her sneakers and knock the sand out of them. Her toes curled as her soles came in contact with damp earth, old pine needles and rounded pebbles. The cool, prickly sensation was oddly pleasant, a tactile reminder that the sidewalks and paved roads of civilization were, if not distant, at least out of sight.
Satisfied she'd gotten the worst of the sand out, she left the shoes just inside the screened-in porch. Scuffing her gritty feet over the bristly cocoa mat in front of the sliding doors, she went into the cabin, her thoughts already on the hot bath she intended to take in the too-decadent-for-words home spa that passed for the master bedroom's ensuite.
Finn was still down on the beach, working on his music. He'd let her leave his lap without too much of a struggle. Though he'd picked up his guitar to take her place, she'd felt his eyes on her back like a warm touch as she'd walked away. She couldn't help smiling at how good that made her feel.
She was about to pass the kitchen when a petulant note from her stomach reminded her the only things she'd put in it today were strong coffee and rich chocolate cake. Caffeine, caffeine and heavy on the sugar. Not a good idea. A few minutes later, she was back en route upstairs, thick sandwich in one hand, glass of milk in the other.
The first thing Serena did after dumping her lunch in the bedroom was head into the bathroom to start the water running. From the looks of things, it would take a while for the massive tub to fill. Then she spent a pleasurable few minutes unstoppering bottles on the fancy glass tray, trying to decide what to put in the water. Oil? Bubbles? Bath salts? After all, she was on vacation.
No matter how much she intended to take a little "me" time at home, there never seemed to be enough time. There was always a meeting to attend, a crisis that demanded her attention, or an activity the kids needed to get to. And that deficit of time had only gotten bigger since Simple Pleasures opened. Not that she was complaining. Who could complain when it was their own fault their schedule was so full? It was just a fact.
The mental image of a mountain of bubbles was too seductive to resist, and she settled on a peach blend cut with a hint of spice. Back in the bedroom, Serena polished off her hasty lunch and stripped off her clothes. A few quick twists and a clip secured her hair in a loose tumble of curls on top of her head. By the time she was done, scent-laden tendrils of steam as exotic as any genie's mist were curling around the edges of the bathroom door.
When she finally sank neck-deep in the water, it felt every bit as decadent as it looked. With a sigh, she closed her eyes and tipped her head back to rest against the rim of the tub. She'd thought she had a grip on the stress that had weighed her down the past few days; apparently not. Tension seeped away with every breath until she was so relaxed, she felt she could drift away on a sigh.
Serena didn't know how long she lay in the water, but the temperature was significantly cooler and the level of bubbles much lower by t
he time she stirred. Reluctantly, she conducted the more mundane functions of the bath—and felt a tingle of anticipation knowing she wasn't the only one who'd appreciate them tonight.
Wrapping a thick white towel around her torso, she walked into the bedroom tucking the loose end between her breasts. The carpet felt soft and thick between her toes as she went to the windows overlooking the patio. The sun was well on its way to bed for the night; a few of the brighter stars were glowing high in the sky, and the moon was a half-circle of white lace against the darkening blue of dusk.
Distantly, Serena heard the sound of a shower starting up; Finn, in the downstairs bathroom. A look at the clock showed she didn't have long before their "date." Hurrying, she pulled on the outfit she'd set out and went downstairs. Finn's cell phone was in the kitchen, tethered to a power cord plugged into the wall socket.
A superstitious shiver rippled down her spine as the shower cut off before she made it back to the stairs. Sure Finn was going to open the door at any moment, she took the steps two at a time, trying to be as quiet as possible. She didn’t want to see Finn before their arranged meeting. It would just … jinx things. Like a groom spotting a bride the day before the wedding. No—maybe a wedding wasn't a good analogy. Okay, like a guy seeing his prom date before she'd traded in her ripped-up jeans and ratty old T-shirt for form-fitting satin and a corsage. Hmmm. Still not right. Whatever. As silly as she felt, she was still glad to escape back upstairs before he came out of the bathroom fresh from his shower, all sleek, bare muscles and water-curled black hair. Her heart skipped a little faster at the thought.
Jeez, woman, why not just shuck the underwear altogether? Shaking her head at herself, Serena went out to the deck and sat in one of the chairs, shivering a bit at the chill in the air. She scrolled through Finn's address book until she got to the saved number for the kids' hotel, where the front desk connected her to their room.
Jack answered on the second ring. The sound of his patented bored teenager-cool guy voice rumbling out an abbreviated, " 'Lo," in his newly deep voice made her grin.