[Dating by Design 02.0] Statistically Improbable

by Jennifer Peel

  Every night before the rehearsal dinner, which was on Friday, we worked on the wedding favors. Three hundred personalized mugs that had to be perfect. Don’t even think about putting the vinyl even an eighth of an inch off center. You would be brow beaten by the Nanettes. And each mug with the contents had to be wrapped perfectly and uniformly. They were task masters.

  The only one off the hook was Charlene. She couldn’t put vinyl on straight to save her life. Maybe she would be able to if she didn’t think every hour was cocktail hour. I watched Zander observe his mother. I could see the pain as she talked about the characters in a soap opera she loved like they were real people. Most everyone laughed with her, but those like me and Mrs. Marshall saw what it was doing to Zander.

  I wondered if Zander’s dad stayed away because of her behavior, or if she drank because of his. It was a chicken and egg kind of question.

  Despite the craziness of Zander’s mom and the Nanettes, there was a lot of happiness to be had that week. Mrs. Marshall was thrilled I was back with Zander. She asked me to help her in the kitchen so we could be alone. I think she was about burst into tears when I kissed Zander on my way past him. I felt like crying too, tears of joy. He was a fantastic kisser, even when it was only a small peck. It filled me with excitement every time.

  Mrs. Marshall strung her arm through mine on our walk from the dining room to the kitchen. “Sugar, I’m so happy for you two. I knew you would eventually figure it out. Who knows, after Rick and Renee, you could be next.”

  “Please don’t say that to him. We aren’t even close to that point and he’s trying to adjust.”

  “Looks like he’s doing just fine. You two look cozy together.”

  I wanted to tell her that was because there were too many of us in her dining room trying to do the unconquerable task, but I never would. She was too sweet. “We like each other.”

  “Looks like more than that.”

  I didn’t argue with her.

  Once in the kitchen, where Mrs. Marshall could talk discreetly, she brought up a pressing matter. “Dear, I need your help.”

  “Sure, anything.”

  She smiled like she had caught me. Never good. “We have got to convince Charlene that she needs to wear a bra for the wedding. There are children attending. Did you see my poor new grandsons, Heath and Cole? They got themselves an anatomy lesson tonight. Rick had to hurry them out and take them to ice cream.”

  I did notice that, and unfortunately, Zander did too. He had gripped my hand under the table. All that said, I wasn’t sure what I could do. I hardly knew the woman. What I knew of her was from Zander and the car ride over here, where she talked non-stop about her trip to Australia and how crazy her daughter-in-law, Jessa, was. “What do you suggest?”

  “Maybe you could take her shopping and get her something with some Lycra in it. Anything to keep those bad boys in check.”

  I almost laughed at her talking that way, but it was a good way to put it. But I wasn’t laughing at the thought of shopping with her. “Mrs. Marshall . . .”

  “I know, dear.” She gripped my arm. “But think of Zander.”

  She was good. Like Jewish mother good. “Okay.”

  On the way home that night I knew I had to make my move. We only had three days until the wedding. Looking at Zander gave me courage. I turned back to Charlene, who was a little more coherent; she hadn’t had anything to drink since we’d left Zander’s place, so she had dried out the last few hours. “I was wondering if you would like to go to lunch tomorrow and do some shopping for the wedding?”

  Zander’s head whipped my way. “Darlin’?”

  I placed my hand on his leg. “I was thinking it would be nice if we all matched for the wedding.” So lame, but I didn’t know what else to say.

  Charlene’s normally groggy eyes lit up. “Look at you. You are the sweetest thing. I didn’t know what the wedding colors were, so I brought the only dress I had.”

  “Perfect. We’ll make an afternoon of it.” That hurt to say, but I wanted Zander to feel comfortable at his best friend’s wedding. And let’s be honest, I wanted it for all of us.

  Zander caught on to what I was trying to do, and he thanked me in his own way when he walked me to my door that night. He pressed me up against my door. His fingers floated through my hair. “You.” He brushed my lips.

  “Me?”

  “Yes, you.”

  “What about me?”

  He nuzzled my neck, driving me crazy. My hands ran through his hair.

  “Meg, you get to me.”

  He got to me too. I was having a hard time breathing. “Even if we are statistically improbable?”

  He kissed his way up my neck and found my lips. He danced around them with his own, driving me crazy. “I’ve always been a rule breaker.”

  My lips captured his and parted. I had never felt more compatible with anyone in my life.

  The kiss didn’t last nearly long enough, but I understood his reasoning for pulling away. “Darlin’,” he whispered in my ear, “I better go.”

  “Probably a good idea.”

  He groaned in my ear. “You’re killing me. I’m going.”

  I took his hand. “It means a lot to me. You mean a lot to me.”

  He squeezed my hand before walking away.

  “I hope that doesn’t scare you,” I called out to his disappearing figure.

  I heard him laugh as he headed down the stairs.

  I took lots of deep breaths trying to regain my equilibrium. He wasn’t the only one having a hard time pulling away. I spent the rest of my night cuddled up with Jasper, missing Zander, and trying to figure out a way to get his mother in a bra. How did I get myself into these things?

  ~*~

  I was going to do my best to get her into a real bra by first taking her bra shopping and showing her how beautiful she could feel in a pretty bra. If that didn’t work, I was going to make sure we got a dress that required a cami, and that cami was going to have a shelf-bra. It wouldn’t do much for someone her size, but it should help. I hoped she didn’t like to dance.

  Lots of nerves coursed through me on the elevator ride up to Zander’s apartment. He was holding things down at the office and presenting my clients that needed to be matched up. I only had two and I had discussed who I thought was best. He agreed and would present them to the group. We both felt my mission with his mom was more important. Zander had talked to his dad about keeping her away from alcohol during the morning hours before I picked her up. I don’t think it went over too well. Zander was agitated when he mentioned it, but didn’t give any details and I didn’t press. All he did was give me a good luck kiss before I left the office. It did make me feel lucky.

  I knocked on the door to Zander’s apartment. His dad answered the door, but walked away as soon as he said hello. And I thought my dad was a man of few words. Charlene came running out of the guest bedroom in all her glory. Yep, this was going to be an interesting day.

  “You look so pretty.” She slipped on her shoes.

  “Thank you.” I wanted to return the compliment, but wasn’t sure what to say. “Do you have a jacket? It’s a little nippy.” I was praying she did.

  “Honey, when you reach my age, it’s just one long hot flash.”

  That was not good news on any front.

  “Are you ready to go?”

  “You betcha.” She seemed lucid. That was good.

  I was glad one of us was ready. I wished Mrs. Marshall or Kenadie could have come, but tomorrow was the rehearsal dinner and the following day was the wedding. They were both tying up loose ends, and Kenadie was trying to spend as much time as she could with Jason’s family. I thought that was hard for Zander. I was pretty sure he felt like he was losing his best friend.

  “I thought we could hit a few stores before we did lunch. I always like to try on clothes before I eat,” I suggested.

  “As long as there is a cocktail at the end, I’m game.”

  I smiled
uneasily. Uneasy was a good way of putting the whole afternoon.

  We started out at my favorite women’s intimate store. They had a huge selection and they measured you to make sure you got the perfect fit. I figured Charlene probably needed to be reminded of her bra size. Every sales associate in the store flocked to her. It was apparent she needed help. The nippy weather . . . well, let’s just say it made things stand out.

  I picked out a lacey black bra. It was my thought to get his mother a black dress. We were hiding everything we could. “I love this. This would look perfect under an evening gown.”

  Charlene looked it over. “I don’t bother with these things anymore.”

  “They can be a pain, but feel how soft this one is.”

  She barely touched it. “Eh. My ta-tas are happy free.”

  “But . . .” I stared at her chest unwillingly. “This would really make your girls stand out. Make you look like a million bucks in whatever dress we pick out.” I was lying through my teeth for the man I adored and for Mrs. Marshall, the woman who was becoming like a second mother to me.

  “Honey, I don’t have anyone to look good for.” She moved on down the rows of bras.

  I followed, still determined. “What about Don?”

  She wouldn’t look at me. “He hasn’t looked at me since 1997.”

  That broke my heart. I wasn’t sure what to say. “Do you want him to?”

  “I gave up on that in 2010.” That was a long time.

  “Let’s not give him a choice.” I held up the black bra.

  She lifted her eyes. “You’re sweet, but it’s a lost cause. You ready to get that drink?”

  “Oh. Um. I don’t drink.”

  She tilted her head. “Really? I knew you were an unusual girl to snag my son, but this is surprising. I’ll drink one for you.” She laughed. It kind of reminded me of Zander.

  Which reminded me why I was really there. “Can I be bold?”

  “Let it rip.”

  “I think it would mean a lot to Zander if you dressed up for him.”

  “Why would I dress up for my son?” She laughed.

  I set the bra down and took a deep breath. “His best friends are getting married, and he wants everything to be perfect for them.”

  “And it will be. Nan will make sure of it.” She patted my cheeks. “Don’t you worry.”

  Apparently, I wasn’t bold enough. I took her hand. “Charlene.” I saw a little Zander in her green eyes. “You are a beautiful woman and it’s about time your husband recognized that. We are getting you the sexiest bra they have here and we are going to find you a dress that can’t go unnoticed.”

  Her eyes began to well up with tears and her lip quivered. At first I felt horrible, but she threw her arms around me and sobbed like a baby there in the middle of the store. “No one has called me beautiful in ages.”

  I patted her back. “Well, that’s terrible.”

  “It is,” she wailed.

  “I’m sorry.”

  She held on tighter. “I’m so happy my son found you.”

  “Me too. So, what do you say?”

  She thought for a minute. “Let’s get my sexy on.”

  I wasn’t exactly sure that’s what Zander was hoping for, but if that’s what it took to get her in a bra, that’s what we were going to do.

  Chapter Thirty

  Zander held my hand as we drove over with his parents to the rehearsal dinner. His parents sat as far apart as they could in the back seat. I kept wishing Don would compliment Charlene. I convinced her she needed two new dresses, one for tonight and the other for the wedding. I could tell the bra was bothering her. She was fidgeting in the back.

  “You look lovely tonight.” I smiled back at Charlene in her red, body-hugging dress. She really went with the whole sexy thing. And wow was she endowed on top. She filled out the dress. It was shorter than I would have gone with for someone her age and weight, but all I promised was she would be in a bra, and I delivered.

  She scowled at Don, who seemed off in his own world before responding to me. “You are the knock-out in this car.”

  “Agreed.” Zander glanced at my legs.

  I was wearing a flirty flare dress in deep blue.

  Zander held me back before we walked into the country club. He was looking particularly handsome in dress slacks and a gray button-down shirt. His kissed me once. “I never thought I would say this to a woman, but thanks for getting my mom into a bra.”

  I laughed. “I would say it was my pleasure, but it’s more like you owe me. She insisted on modeling them for me.”

  “And you’re still here?”

  I kissed him this time. “The perks of the job make it worth it.”

  “We could blow this thing off.”

  “Tempting, but Mrs. Marshall may make good on her death threats. You don’t mess with a Southern Momma and her wedding.”

  “I’ve decided eloping is the only way to go.”

  I leaned back. “Do you think you will ever get married?”

  “You read my profile, what do you think?”

  I gazed into his gorgeous green eyes. “That you better watch out.”

  He laughed and led me to the rehearsal hall.

  The Nanettes were dressed to the nines and acting like they were on a mission from God. They yanked Zander away from me as soon as we entered and positioned him by Jason, who looked amused by it all. Kenadie just kept shaking her head, and anyone who was smart, including the wedding planner and the pastor, stayed out of their way. That was, except Zander. He was hooting and hollering after every practiced kiss-the-bride moment, and when we practiced filing out after the bride and groom, he always switched places with the groomsman who I was supposed to walk up the aisle with. Zander, as best man, was supposed to escort Lana, the maid of honor. He gave everyone a good laugh, except the Nanettes.

  Mrs. Marshall wagged her finger at him. “Alexzander Grainger.”

  Zander covered his hand over mine as I held his arm. “This one’s on you, Nan.”

  He got her to smile. “Fine, but don’t even think about it tomorrow.”

  He gave me a wink. I didn’t think the odds were in Mrs. Marshall’s favor, but that only meant they were in mine.

  I think the rest of the night went as the Nanettes planned, right down to Charlene having a few too many drinks and regaling loudly about how uncomfortable her bra was, but that her boobs hadn’t looked that good since the early 2000s.

  A point of interest for me that night was at dinner. I watched Zander reach up to play with Kenadie’s hair like I had seen him do dozens of times to get her attention or just because. This time, though, he stopped and flexed his hand. He turned from her. She was completely focused on Jason, and he smiled at me. It was my hair his hand landed in. I knew there were people all around us lining the long rectangular tables full of food, but Zander’s gaze drowned them all out.

  I thought about that all night and through the next day. I wouldn’t see Zander until the wedding, but I thought about him more than I knew was possible. He entered my senses and became a part of me.

  The next afternoon, the men of the wedding party were playing a round of golf at the country club before they got ready. It was the bachelor party of sorts, since Jason wasn’t into a night of debauchery and drinking.

  I wondered while I did my hair and makeup, before I headed over to the country club to get dressed, if Zander thought about me as much as I thought about him. I got a text from him as soon as I’d had the thought.

  What shade of lipstick will I be wearing tonight?

  I was coming to believe he was a mind reader.

  I could hear him laugh as I texted back. The only color I’m wearing.

  Hurry.

  He didn’t have to tell me twice. I held my stomach. He wreaked havoc on my insides . . . in the best way possible. I wondered if we would be able to overcome the improbability of it all. We were an unlikely match, but I would say a good one.

  Befor
e I could find Zander, I found myself in the clutches of the Nanettes and being hauled off to the room where the women were getting ready, including the bride. Kenadie looked stunning already, without the dress. Renee was a hairstylist and she had done the most amazing updo for the bride. And Kenadie glowed. Mrs. Marshall couldn’t hold back the tears and cried like a baby, making Kenadie cry. Good thing her makeup hadn’t been done yet.

  I watched the scene between mother and daughter and felt pangs of sadness knowing I would never have this kind of a moment, but then a wonderful thing happened. As soon as Mrs. Marshall turned from Kenadie, she found me and wrapped me up in her arms. She held me tight and whispered in my ear, “I love you, dear.”

  She had me tearing up, and I had already done my makeup. “Thank you for letting me be part of your family.” Or more like forced me to be, but I was so happy she had.

  “And we all want to say thank you for getting Charlene into a bra.”

  Cissy and Adelaide both said, “Amen,” to the snickering of everyone else.

  I just hoped she came through today. She and Don were driving over on their own for the evening wedding. I wasn’t sure how that marriage lasted. It didn’t seem like a marriage at all. It was no wonder Zander had thought it was best to stay away from the institution, or real relationships.

  All the bridesmaids, including Kate, who had decided she should get out more, slipped into our dresses. I think we each felt like royalty. But Kenadie was the queen. Cissy brought out her dress and a hush fell over the room. The Nanettes helped her into the lacey long-sleeved gown that fit her like a glove. We all stood in awe as we looked at the beauty before us. The crowning piece was the stunning satin-lined lace veil that cascaded down almost to the floor. Words couldn’t adequately express how gorgeous she looked. And when she looked in the full-length mirror, she saw and felt it.