He laughed but I saw the desire growing in his eyes and his pants.
“You’re learning fast, my sweet little virgin.”
SEVENTEEN
MAGGIE
How could such a religious, godly man look so sinfully delicious? He laid next to me propped up on his elbow, shirtless and smirking with his pants slung low on his hips.
Everything about him was beautiful in such a masculine, confident way. I couldn't be more sure of my decision to make him my first. No one else could compare to this dreamboat lying in bed right next to me.
I snuggled into his arms at his insistence of a cool-down period and explored him up close with my fingertips. The swirly patch of hair in the center of his chest was adorable, as was the freckle right next to his nipple.
When my heart rate and breathing slowed down to normal, I nuzzled into his neck and planted kisses on the warm skin there. He smelled wonderful and tastes slightly salty.
He let out a groan underneath me as my hand found its way to his bulge again, this time slipping inside his waistband.
When I felt the hot, velvety skin of his cock against my palm, my breathing and heart rate shot right back up again. His balls were tense and shifted slightly in my hands. My clit and nipples pulsed with heat and sensitivity as I touched a man in his most intimate areas for the first time.
It was so incredibly hot, intoxicating, and surreal.
Together we shed the remainder of our clothing and let out a mutual moan as our skin kissed each other.
Kaine rolled on top of me again, sending his tongue deep into my mouth as his hands traveled across and inside of me.
I held onto his firm, bare ass as I tried driving his hips toward mine. The nervousness and worry about pain were completely gone. I was completely drunk with desire and needed that thick, meaty cock inside me more than anything.
He pulled away for a moment to reach into his bedside drawer and tore open a square foil packet with his teeth. Was it strange that even watching him put a condom on was incredibly hot? His arm muscles twitched and flexed as he gripped the base of his cock and worked the rubber over his shaft with the other hand.
And then he looked at me and I nearly came again just from his expression.
"I won't hurt you," he promised, covering my neck and shoulders with kisses as he lowered over me again. "I'll go slow and we can stop at any time."
"I don't want you to go slow," I said, squeezing around his hips with my legs. "I need you fully and deeply."
He grinned with a naughty gleam in his eye and smothered my moan with a kiss as I felt the rounded head of his cock press against my clit.
I tensed up just slightly as it lowered to rub against my entrance. Seeing and touching it was one thing but I had truly no idea how big it was until I felt it about to enter me.
Kaine felt my body seize up in his arms and pulled back slightly, but I only dug my fingers deeper into his hard muscles.
"No don't stop," I begged. "I want to feel you."
The hot, hard pressure returned, teasing my clit and spreading my wetness all around while he placed warm, open-mouthed kisses wherever his lips could reach.
With a slight shift of his hips, the round head pushed past my lips and eased inside of me.
I gasped and felt my back arch off the bed as I clutched him even tighter.
Not from pain but from sheer exhilaration. This was really happening and with this man.
He continued surging his hips forward smoothly, watching my face intently for any sign of pain or needing to stop.
I had no idea what my expression said, I was just feeling. It was intense, but not quite painful. Like a deep stretch that bordered the line of pleasure and pain.
Only I was being stretched from the inside. Just when I thought he couldn't fit anymore, he pushed in further and the stretching intensified. I didn't just feel it in my core, I felt it in my toes, my fingertips, my nipples, my lips. He was inside me and all around me at the same time.
"My God, you're so tight," he rasped into my ear. "And so wet, so hot."
"You've filled me up," I blurted out and wondered if that sounded stupid.
But Kaine grunted his approval as he pulled back to rock into me again. I saw in the way his jaw clenched, how his muscles tightened, that he was holding back. He wanted to fuck me at full force but knew his cock was already on the verge of destroying me.
"I love that I'm your first," he growled as he worked into a steady rhythm, staring at me hotly as he rolled his hips into me. "No one else has had this pussy and I fucking love that."
"Me too, ohhh..."
I lost all ability to use words as he filled me up again and again. Meaningless moans were all I could say as I rode the waves of sensations coursing throughout my body. I felt like liquid and he felt so solid. The discomfort melted away, replaced by the sweetest, most intense pleasure I ever felt.
His fingers dug into my hips as his breathing grew heavy and ragged. He crashed into me harder and faster, losing control to the intensity taking over both of us.
With a quick grab and another shift, I cried out in ecstasy holding fast onto his arms for anything solid. This different angle sent him smashing directly at my clit and penetrating even deeper within me. My body couldn’t take it anymore and released.
Electricity jolted up my spine and throughout my limbs. My toes curled and my head threw back as my whole being imploded like a dying star.
Kaine slammed into me one last time before he shuddered out his own release, panting and collapsing on top of me.
Even after my orgasm subsided, I felt extremely sensitive. All my hairs stood on end with the slightest touch. I still felt the beat of our pulse through the soft kisses he pressed to my lips. Even my hearing felt sharper. It honestly felt like I developed an extra sense.
“So how was I?” I panted, scratching my fingers across his scalp. “Not bad for my first time?”
He pulled himself up to the pillows, then pulled me against his chest. His sexy bedroom eyes were heavy and lidded as he smiled lazily at me.
“Maggie, you’re a natural.”
EIGHTEEN
KAINE
Maggie made me feel like a teenager again in all the best ways, from fucking upwards of three times a day to sneaking around her parents.
For the first time in years, I felt genuinely happy and even at peace. My soul no longer felt conflicted. It had what was missing, what it yearned for toward the dying end of my marriage. The playfulness, the passion, the sheer joy of lying in bed with your favorite person. I found it all in the person who was supposed to be off-limits.
But I even felt at peace with God again. I felt the warmth of His light. Inspiration flowed through me since being with Maggie. I delivered my sermons with renewed candor and zeal that I hadn't felt since training for my ordination.
Together, she and I drummed up record-breaking support for church projects to serve the less fortunate in our community. Everyone, even atheists and apathetic teenagers got involved, which was wonderful to see. We gave people food, clothing, resources for jobs and medical services. Doing so together seemed to strengthen our bond as well as enrich the lives around us. We felt like superheroes in our community during the day, then fucked like porn stars at night. I slept like a baby and woke up to her beautiful face. I'd never felt so fulfilled.
Of course, no one knew we were seeing each other. While at church and community events we tried hard to keep our affection under wraps but it was so fucking difficult. Even just talking to each other revealed the special bond we had and people noticed.
Maggie's mother looked at her with more poison every day. She likely suspected something just because she always did. It probably didn't help that Maggie increasingly began spending more nights with me, though she told her parents she was at Angie's.
The deacon at Holy Water likely wouldn't approve of our union either. He was a good man and a fair boss but he was old-school. Carnal relations while unmarried with
a girl over a decade younger than me mere weeks after my divorce finalized, would not fly in his house.
In reality, no reputable house of worship would take me on unless I was married. As much as my feelings were growing for Maggie, I didn't want to rush into another marriage so soon.
A thought itched in my brain as I headed into my office one afternoon-- one that laid dormant for years but finally reawakened.
I had always dreamed of starting my own ministry. Running my own church, raising my family, and sharing my interpretation of God's love once sounded like a romantic fantasy. But the more I thought about it, the more possible it seemed.
Maggie could get away from her awful parents. We could even bring her sister and nephew with us. We could be together with no one to judge us and point fingers.
A smile came to my face as I leaned back in my chair. It would take time and there would certainly be bumps in the road. But if we worked at it and trusted that God put us together for a reason, it could possibly work.
An abrupt knock on my door jolted me out of my daydream.
“Yes, come in,” I said, bringing my chair back upright.
The woman coming through the door was the last person on earth I ever expected to see.
My jaw dropped and my blood froze in my veins as I stared, stunned.
“Hi, Kaine,” said the woman at the door.
“Rachel.” My mouth somehow worked.
“Kaine, we need to talk,” said my ex-wife as she ran her hands over her swollen, pregnant belly.
NINETEEN
MAGGIE
"You've got to be exaggerating."
"No, I'm serious!"
I took another hit from the vape pen and held my hands apart as I blew out the smoke for dramatic effect.
"It's seriously this big."
"You need to get the tape measure out next time and check your math." Angie snatched the pen from me and pretended to give it a blowjob. "No normal dude is that big. That's like porn star status."
"I never said he wasn't a porn star," I replied smugly.
I was rubbing it in and we both knew it. Angie teased me relentlessly for years about being a virgin, all the while complaining about guys who didn't know the first thing about pleasing a woman. She found it grossly unfair that my first and only lover made me come as effortlessly as breathing, with a handsome face and an amazing body to boot.
"A porn star pastor. How about that," she chuckled, blowing smoke out the side of her mouth through the window screen.
I chewed my lip as I stared out of my bedroom window, hesitating on telling her what was really on my mind.
The ledge was just big enough to sit on, making this place my only solace in this house. It was the perfect place to smoke and talk privately since the breeze carried every smell and word outside. When Mom listened at my door, she couldn't hear a damn thing.
"I think... I might be catching feelings," I admitted.
"See? What did I tell you?" Angie said, wagging her finger at me.
"It's nothing to do with him being my first," I said. "It's just... him. He's everything I ever wanted and he just happens to be my first."
"Don't count your chickens before they hatch now," Angie warned. "Us ladies get the urge to sow our wild oats, too."
"I don't see that happening," I replied, looking at her with a bit of surprise. With all her complaining about finding someone who was both a good man and a good lover, I figured she'd tell me to hold onto Kaine and never let go.
"I'm not saying it will happen to you, just that it does happen," she said. "I mean you hit the fucking man lottery and all. There's not much else to compare to out there."
I brought my knees to my chest and hugged my arms around them as I watched a bird hopping on tree branches out the window.
"Do you think he'll ever feel that way about me?" I asked, voicing my biggest fear. "You know since he was married for a while already. Like maybe he'll get tired of me and want to play the field."
A small part of me hoped Angie would scoff and say, "No! Of course not! He'd be an idiot to give you up!" in a protective, best friend tone. But I knew she was too honest for that. In all fairness, that honesty was why I liked her.
"Well, I don't know the guy," she said. "He's taking a pretty big risk by seeing you, so there's that."
I nodded an agreement as I rested my chin on my knees. That was the other big worry in the back of my mind. Kaine could lose his job because of me. He'd be cast out of the community. People would either blame me for seducing him like an evil temptress or take pity on me for being naive enough to fall for a charming, handsome older man.
Either way, neither one of us would be welcome at church anymore. But would he still want to be with me if the shit hit the fan? Or would he resent and hate me for ruining his life?
"Here's another thing to consider," Angie said after a failed attempt at blowing smoke rings. "Guys that have been married, or dating someone for lots of years, sometimes stay pretty chummy with their exes."
An invisible fist squeezed around my heart as I snatched the vape pen back from her and took a long drag.
"He doesn't talk to her. I know that for a fact," I said. "That miserable bitch cheated on him."
I thought about Kaine's ex-wife more than I liked to admit, although I never asked him about her. Mostly I was jealous that she had him first and furious that she was too blind to see how good she had it.
I was jealous that he not only loved her for years but loved her enough to put a ring on her finger and make eternal vows.
I knew my feelings weren't rational and Angie was right. I shouldn't get ahead of myself.
Kaine made me feel happy and good enough to place my head above the clouds but I had to stay grounded. No one in their right mind would approve of me sleeping with my pastor, because that's all it was.
Just sex.
Really good, mind blowing sex yes, but I had to keep my feelings in check too. No matter how much my heart melted when he smiled at me, or when his arm tightened around me at night while we slept.
"Time for me to go to work," Angie sighed, taking one final, long hit from the vape and looked like a steam engine as she exhaled. "Take it one day at a time, chica. You'll be alright no matter what happens."
"Thanks," I muttered, keeping my gaze focused out the window.
I contemplated my life for a few minutes after Angie left before sliding off the ledge, returning my vape pen to its hiding place, and heading downstairs for some food.
Mom pretended to flip through the mail as I came down but I knew she had been trying to listen to us talk. She'd been in an extra bitchy mood for the last several days, probably because she could see how happy I was.
I ignored her eyes raking over me as I walked to the refrigerator and opened the door. She was almost as creepy as a gross old man with the way she stared at me.
"I hope you're not planning on going anywhere dressed like that," she sneered.
"Seriously?" I turned and looked at her. I was in gym shorts and a T-shirt. "I am going to be up in my room all night, not that it matters to you."
"Doing what?" she demanded.
"Reading the Kama Sutra," I shot back.
Her expression told me she had no idea what that was. She probably thought it had to do with devil worship, and continued prodding the hornet's nest.
"So you're not going out with Angie tonight, looking like prostitutes?"
I slammed the refrigerator door shut, having lost my appetite.
"I'm not having this conversation," I barked, shoving past her to go back upstairs.
From the corner of my eye, I saw Dad in the family room in front of the TV again. Completely and purposefully oblivious to anything not on the screen.
"Pastor Cross's wife is back at church, isn't that great news?"
I froze mid-step and slowly turned around to face my mother. Her face looked jubilant, which sent the ice in my veins boiling in fury.
"What are you talking
about?" I asked, trying to keep my voice from shaking. "He's divorced."
"Apparently that never finalized, or so the ladies from church tell me," she said, laying the smugness on as thick as peanut butter. "And you know what the best part is?"
"What?" I couldn't help but ask and she knew it. My heart felt like it was bracing itself for impact.
"She's pregnant!" Mom declared, clapping her hands together. "It's so wonderful they've gotten back together to raise their little family."
TWENTY
KAINE
"What the fuck are you doing here, Rachel?"
I held onto the edges of my chair with iron fists, nearly shaking with rage and shock. I held on like it was the only thing keeping me from flying off the handle at this woman standing before me.
I'd never been a violent person, especially not toward women. But I've never wanted to strike another person so badly. And few people deserved it more than this conniving, manipulative, cheating bitch.
Her lips twitched into a smirk as she continued rubbing her belly as if she were a snake that swallowed its prey whole.
"What kind of pastor uses such foul language? And to his wife, no less."
"We're not married!" I barked. "It is over! It was over since the day you first thought about fucking another man."
"Fortunately for me, we are still legally married." Her manipulative grin grew wider. "I have connections through the county clerk. Our divorce agreement has not been filed. And it won't unless I say it will."
"What?"
My head spun. How was this possible? Nobody had the power to pull strings like that.
"I got my old position back in the choir," she went on in a sing-songy voice. "Those ladies have always been so kind! They said you're living a long drive away in a small apartment and we'll have to fix that immediately. We need a house closer to the church and definitely with tons of space."
"You're insane," I said, incredulous at her nerve to just waltz in like nothing ever happened. "Why are you doing this?"
Big Bad Sinner: A Forbidden Romance Page 9