by Shana Gray
‘Your job took you there, didn’t it?’
‘Yes, but I didn’t have to go.’ She sniffled. ‘I ran away from him when he needed me most, Quinn! I lost those last precious, lucid days with him, that I can never get back, because I wasn’t strong enough!’
‘Baby, calm down. Shh, it’s okay.’
She shook her head and he placed his hands on either side of her face, looking deep into her eyes, stilling her frantic emotions. ‘Your father raised you to be an amazing woman, and I’m sure all he wanted was for you to be happy and live your life. You went to Canada to catch bad guys and make the world a better place. I’m sure he is so proud of you.’
Bonni sucked in rapid breaths and slowly calmed down. ‘You really think so? I visit him sometimes and tell him about cases I’ve worked on, and I swear, sometimes it feels like he hears me.’
‘The next time you visit, I’ll go with you. I’ll take you, and I’ll be there for you.’ It hadn’t been a conscious decision to say those words, but Quinn found that he meant them.
‘You would do that with me?’
‘Yes, I would go with you.’ It was a promise Quinn knew he had to keep, because, if he didn’t, then he’d be just as bad as the rest of the people who had left her over the years.
She searched his face and smiled a little, before turning away. ‘I’m thirsty, and I need to use the restroom,’ Bonni murmured.
Quinn helped her from the couch. She wrapped her arm around his waist and he led her to the bedroom. ‘You go on in there, and I’ll get you another glass of water.’
He watched her drop her purse and phone on the bedside table and hold the wall as she went into the bathroom and closed the door behind her. He stood for a few minutes, watching the closed door, reeling. He felt like he’d been ripped through a hedge backwards and shook his head. How raw must she be feeling?
A few minutes later she came out and flopped on to the bed. He could see she had washed her face and had tried to do something with her hair, as it was a bit damp.
‘C’mere.’ Bonni reached a hand to him and looked at him through sleepy eyes. He couldn’t resist her. Even in her drunken stupor, he thought she was amazing.
‘You’re taking such good care of me.’ She looked up at him and smiled. ‘You’d make someone a good husband.’
Quinn laughed. ‘I don’t know about that. Not many women would put up with me.’
‘I’d put up with you.’ She reached up and took his face in her hands and pulled him down to her. ‘I want you to kiss me, Quinn. Make me feel good. Like you did last night.’
Quinn wasn’t about taking advantage of drunk women. But he did kiss her. He’d been longing to all day.
She moaned into his mouth, and her hands were at the waistband of his jeans. ‘Let’s make love.’ She shifted her position and tried to straddle his hips, finally managing to sit on him, rather precariously. He held her hips so she wouldn’t topple over but sucked in a sharp breath when she rocked against him. After their time together, he knew the signs of her arousal, and she was setting off all the alarms now.
‘Bonni, honey, not tonight.’ It was one of the hardest things Quinn had ever had to do. He wanted to make love to her more than life itself, but instead he gently untangled her from him and pulled the sheets back. ‘How about we get you undressed and into bed?’
‘But I don’t want to go to sleep. I want to be with you.’
‘And there’s nothing more that I want either. But I’d rather you be buzzed on me sober than drunk. No way will I ever take advantage of you.’
Her eyes started to drift closed as he swiftly undressed her. ‘You’re such a good guy. I’m lucky I met you.’
He didn’t have another chance to say anything as her eyelids fell shut. He could tell she’d started dozing by the change in her breathing.
Quinn stood beside the bed and watched her. She was beautiful, her hair tumbling around her on the pillow, the dark of her lashes curving against her flawless skin and her lips, bare of lipstick, slightly open, lush, and he ached to kiss her again. ‘No, Bonni,’ he whispered in the quiet room, ‘I’m the lucky one.’
He turned off the light, shucked his clothes and climbed in beside her. He pulled her into the crook of his arm and held her, listening to her breathe and loving the feel of her next to him.
Bonni was restless, though, and stirred, her body soft and warm next to him. Quinn held his breath when she placed her hand on his belly. He didn’t want to rebuff her, but he had no intention of making love to her while she was drunk. He wanted her to remember his touches, kisses, what it felt like when he moved inside her. Right now, he doubted she’d remember anything, and he realized that he wanted her to remember. Wanted her to know she’d shared something brutally emotional with him. Wanted her to know that he was here for her. If she didn’t remember . . . well, he didn’t even want to consider that possibility.
Her hand slid lower, her fingers cool and soft on his cock, and she curled them around him. Quinn drew in a sharp breath and closed his eyes. He reached down and gently took her hand in his, lacing their fingers.
‘Go to sleep, Bonni. I want no regrets for either of us in the morning,’ he whispered, and kissed the top of her head.
‘No, let’s . . . I want you. I’ve missed you so much today.’ Her sleepy voice slurred her words but held an intimate and sexy tone.
She molded her body to his, her breasts pressing sweetly into his side, her shapely leg draped over his thigh. Quinn bit his lip as the heat of her seared his hip.
He shifted a bit so that he could move her back into the crook of his arm and relieve the temptation. He brushed the hair from her face. Her eyes were still closed, and her perfect white teeth dented the pink of her lower lip. He longed to kiss her.
‘You’re so sleepy. Let me tell you a bedtime story.’ He needed to distract himself as much as he could in order to resist her subtle invitation.
‘Mmm, ’kay.’ She rested her head on his chest, and he swirled his fingertips over her shoulder and back. Her breath was like a cool whisper over his chest.
‘A long time ago, there were two brothers who did everything together. They were as opposite as day and night, but they were best friends. As they grew, they were groomed to go into the family business.’
Her breathing grew a little shallower. She was falling asleep.
Quinn rested his head back on the pillow and closed his eyes. Images of Landon and him, when they were younger, played like a movie in his brain.
‘More story,’ Bonni murmured.
‘Their father had high expectations for them. They were to learn the business, help it expand and make it even more formidable. It was all about profits and money. But to do that would mean they’d have to give up who they were, what they wanted in life.’
Bonni shifted, and her arm tightened across his belly.
‘One brother refused. He rebelled and set out to create his own fortune in a very unorthodox way. The other brother did as was expected. But the burden of being responsible for the family is a heavy one, and it weighed on his mind. He was respected, successful and powerful, but he never knew who he could trust and always suspected those around him of wanting something.
‘Each year, the brothers would meet up anywhere they could in the world. The brother in the family business supported his brother in everything he did, but he never gave up on the idea that his brother would join the company. But the rebellious brother continued to refuse, not wanting to be hemmed in by corporate life and the trappings of a wealthy lifestyle, still determined to make his own way in life. But then he met a girl. A girl who, in a very short space of time, turned his world upside down.’
‘She did?’ Bonni’s voice was soft and slurry.
‘Yes, she did. So now the rebellious brother is thinking of changing his ways. Doing something that he’s never wanted to do in order to be with his lady.’
‘That’s sweet. But he should be who he wants to be,’ she murmured
against his chest.
That floored him. It was clear by now that Bonni had no filter when she drank, so she meant it. That was the innocent opinion of a drunk and nearly asleep woman. The insight was powerful, and he realized he didn’t really know what to do.
But maybe the question was who did he want to be? Quinn the elite poker player? Or Quinn, Bonni’s man? It was a question for the morning.
‘Shush, baby, it’s time to sleep.’ Quinn fixed the covers, making sure she was tucked in and cozy. Soon he heard her breathing become deep and steady. It lulled him, and he drifted off, with Bonni safe in his arms.
Chapter 24
‘Hey, baby.’ A deliciously sexy voice woke her up. Right along with some deliciously wonderful lips.
‘Mmm.’ Bonni smiled. ‘I could get used to waking up like this every morning.’
‘And I could get used to waking you up like this every morning.’
Bonni opened her eyes, squinting at the bright sun pouring in the windows. Quinn was sitting on the edge of the bed, putting on his shoes. ‘Are you leaving?’
He turned to press a soft kiss to her lips again. ‘Yes, I gotta go. Final rounds today.’
‘Nooo, not yet.’ Bonni had a flash of déjà vu. Once again, she was trying to coax Quinn into staying while he already had one foot out the door.
‘Darling, I’m sorry. I would stay if I could, believe me. But, listen, we really need to talk. Can you come to the tournament and hang out today? You can watch me win and then we can talk afterwards.’
Bonni sat up and grasped his hand. ‘But my plane leaves this afternoon. I can’t just not be on it. Why don’t we talk now?’
Quinn pressed a kiss to the back of her hand. ‘There’s not enough time. I want us to have a real conversation, where we’re both sober, preferably some place without a bed to distract us. Just reschedule your flight to leave tomorrow or the next day. C’mon, be spontaneous. I change flights on a whim all the time.’
He gave her hand a squeeze and then got up, acting like the matter had been settled. What, she was supposed to drop everything, completely change her plans, so she could sit around and wait for him? For a conversation that couldn’t be incredibly important if he wasn’t making time for it now? Because it was no big deal for him to randomly change his flights to go whenever he wanted, wherever he wanted? Because it was no big deal for him to just leave?
Chills ran down Bonni’s spine. Tossing the covers off, she stood a little too quickly. She wobbled and pressed her fingertips to her temples, wanting to ease the pounding inside her skull.
‘Steady.’ Quinn reached for her, and Bonni raised her hand, stopping him.
‘No. Don’t touch me.’
He froze, a confused expression on his face.
‘Not all of us can go where the wind takes us, with no thought to anything. Some of us have actual jobs and actual homes and people who count on us. We can’t just flit around the world to play a stupid game.’
Quinn’s confusion solidified into coldness, but he took a breath before he said in a measured tone, ‘Bonni, maybe you don’t remember last night, but it’s not what you think—’
Bonni turned away, unable to listen. She yanked on her clothes, grabbed her purse and phone and, as she headed for the door, she said over her shoulder, ‘I remember last night perfectly. Being rebellious only gets you so far, Quinn. At some point, you have to grow the fuck up.’
‘Bonni, where—’
The door slammed behind her, cutting Quinn’s words off. Bonni felt as if she were dying. Her body wouldn’t work as it should; her vision blurred and darkened and she gasped for breath. With her hand on the wall, she felt her way to the elevator. It was all she could do to put one foot in front of the other and not fall into a heap.
She had to get moving. Quinn could come out at any time. To head for the tournament . . . or to chase after her? She fled down the hall and punched the elevator call button. The ding and swoosh of the elevator doors opening gave her the escape route she needed. Once inside, she took a deep breath and pushed her floor. The doors closed, sealing her in. She was safe.
She was alone.
He hadn’t come racing after her. And she wasn’t entirely sure he should have. Tears pricked her eyes as she began to realize the magnitude of her actions. She had taken something precious, an emotional intimacy, and thrown it back in his face. Sadness punched her in the heart and she leaned back against the wall, watching the floor numbers indicating the rapid ascent of the elevator.
Was this a break-up? How could it be a break-up when this was just a fling? Bonni scoffed to herself. A fling? What she’d just destroyed, it had been more than just a fling. And she hadn’t taken a leap of faith, she hadn’t fought for it. No. She had run.
With a chime, the elevator doors slid open and Bonni found herself staring at the painting hanging across the way. The colors blurred as her eyes again welled with tears. Stumbling out of the elevator, she mindlessly made her way down the short corridor to the suite.
Bonni hesitated before opening the door, running the back of her hand across her eyes. She was coming unglued, on the verge of losing it. Now, more than ever, she needed her friends. She needed their understanding. She needed people she could let go with and know they would support her. Entering the room, Bonni closed the door and leaned against it. She took a few deep breaths, trying to calm herself down as much as possible. It was no use.
Pushing herself from the door, she was both shocked and relieved at the chaotic state of the living room. It helped distract her. Clothes, liquor bottles, half-packed suitcases and make-up were strewn about as if a hurricane had hit the room. Their check-out time was late, 1 p.m., but clearly, they were already packing.
‘Where are you guys?’ she called out.
No one answered her, but she could hear activity in the other rooms. She smiled and was relived her friends, at least, had enjoyed their Vegas vacation. While she had spent the time getting her heart torn into shreds and worrying about a future with a man that likely would never settle down. She was so damn confused, she felt like a train wreck about to happen.
‘Hey, Bons, you’re back already?’ Fredi had been in the kitchenette. She came around with a big glass of orange juice and handed it to her.
‘I was going to make Mimosas, but you’re so pale. Looks like you could use this instead.’
Bonni nodded and took the glass. ‘Thanks. Yeah, I needed to be here with you guys. I’ve been such a . . .’
‘What’s wrong, sweetie?’
Bonni grappled for the right words to explain why she was so upset, but she couldn’t find them so she gulped down the orange juice instead.
‘Well, I can see something’s got you wound up. Come on, let’s sit down.’ Fredi led her to the couch and sat beside her, pushing Celia’s carry-on suitcase to the floor with a thump.
The door to Ava’s room opened and she came out with a robe on. ‘Oh, honey, are you feeling sick? Did you have a bad night? I knew you shouldn’t have gone to see him.’
Bonni shook her head. ‘No, the night was fine. Quinn was great. I’m feeling a little rough, but that’s to be expected.’ She gave her friends an intense look. ‘Why did you let me get that trashed?’
Fredi and Ava looked at each other and raised their eyebrows in concern.
‘It wasn’t us,’ Fredi told her. ‘It was all you. Celia even tried to stop you from getting another Fat Tuesday refill and you told her that Bon Jovi was overrated. She didn’t talk to you for the rest of the night.’
Bonni shook her head. ‘I can’t believe I let myself get that bad.’ She looked up at Ava, feeling like a pathetic mess. ‘I just don’t know what I’m doing.’
Ava sat beside her and the three of them cuddled on the couch. ‘Why don’t you tell us what happened?’
Bonni’s grief welled up yet again and, this time, she couldn’t stop the tears from spilling down her cheeks. ‘I can’t believe how emotional I am. And what a bitch I was to him
.’
‘Of course you’re emotional, you’re in love. It hits you like a train, no doubt about it. Love changes your perspective on life, so naturally you feel unsettled,’ Ave soothed.
Ava’s words hit Bonni like a bolt of lightning and she was no longer able to deny the truth. I do! I love him. I love him and that’s why the thought of being without him is completely terrifying.
‘You being a bitch?’ Fredi shook her head. ‘I don’t believe that for a minute. You can be tough, yes, but a bitch, never.’
‘I was. The things I said as I walked out on him. Oh, God, I’ve probably ruined everything.’
‘Wait, you walked out on Quinn?’ Ava asked.
‘Yesss, I did, and I left scorched earth in my wake. He tried to talk to me and I didn’t even give him a chance.’
Ava and Fredi were silent, and Bonni dropped her face into her hands, her shoulders shaking.
‘Stop crying, or I’ll be next. Come on. Stop, Bons,’ Ava begged her. ‘You don’t cry, you never cry.’
‘I knew you were getting hooked,’ Fredi said, shaking her head.
‘Fredi! This isn’t the time,’ Ava scolded her as she rubbed Bonni’s back.
Bonni looked at Fredi and she shrugged her shoulders. ‘Well, it’s true. I meant what I said in the spa, about just enjoying the moment, but I knew you were already too far gone.’
‘But everything was so great. Great!’ Bonni whispered. ‘I’m not just talking about the sex. There was just something about him that spoke to me. Like he’s deep down inside of me.’
‘Tell us exactly what happened. I’m sure it can be fixed,’ Ava encouraged.
Bonni’s bedroom door opened and Celia flounced out, wearing one of the hotel’s plush robes, her hair all piled on top of her head. She came in like a hurricane, and the room pumped with her energy. For such a little woman, she certainly did have a big aura.
Celia scooped up Fredi’s tote from the chair across from the sofa and dropped it on the floor with a careless thud. She crossed her legs carefully, adjusting the robe over her knees. ‘That is the best jacuzzi tub ever! I would apologize for using it, but you owed me for the blasphemy you spouted last night about Bon Jovi. Besides, I thought you’d be out with Mr Sexy.’ Then Celia furrowed her brow, finally picking up on the mood in the room. ‘What’s happened? Why are you here?’