He’d nearly faceplanted right onto Diggs.
When I’d caught him and gotten him into a chair, he’d been white as a ghost and covered in a cool sweat. And determined to keep giving more blood.
I’d had to hold him down while Einstein took the needle from his arm, the entire time he fought, saying it wasn’t enough.
I’d known he was probably right, but it wasn’t going to do us any good if Maverick ended up laid out next to his brother.
We’d moved Diggs into the bedroom soon after.
Since then, it had been a waiting game.
I’d already taken out the clotting cloth and re-bandaged Maverick’s gunshot wound. Then I’d gotten the rest of what I could out of Diggs’s back before cleaning and bandaging it. The bleeding had stopped, he was hooked up to an IV, and Einstein had hacked hospital records in an attempt to figure out what to give him.
There was nothing more that could be done, I knew that.
At least, there was nothing more I could do for him.
Not knowing if it was enough was making me doubt everything I had done until it felt like I’d go crazy thinking through it all.
“Seriously, go,” Maverick said. “You look like you belong in a bad horror movie.”
I glanced down at my body. My hands and forearms had been cleaned, but everywhere else was splattered and stained a dirty rust color.
“Yeah . . . yeah, probably not a way Lexi should see me.” The corner of my mouth tugged into a grimace, and when I looked up, Maverick was watching me carefully.
“Things haven’t added up with this case,” he began, his tone wary. “A lot of things, actually.”
I breathed out a curse.
I wasn’t ready for this fight again.
“But, I don’t know, man. I saw the way she looked when you showed up after the ring and notes had been delivered. I saw how blindsided she was when we told her about the bunkers. That looked so real.”
“It was real.”
He lifted a shoulder. “If what you want is to be with Sutton, then be with Sutton. You deserve to be happy, the same as the rest of us. I don’t know you as well as Avery does, but I’ve seen what you’ve done for every member of my family over the past year or so, including what you did for Diggs tonight. You never hesitate, and you work selflessly. So, if you trust Sutton, that’s all I need to know.”
He was the last person I ever thought would take up my side.
I gripped the back of my neck as the last week I’d spent with Sutton tore through my mind in flashes and conversations and fights. Ending with Kieran leaving and Sutton pushing me away, refusing to even look at me.
I forced a smile. “I’m not sure it’s that simple. Even if everyone else wasn’t constantly fighting me about her or digging into her with their doubts, she saw every bad part of our world in one night.”
“If you planned to stay with her, a night like tonight was bound to happen sooner or later.”
“I would have preferred later. At least then, we wouldn’t have had everything else surrounding it.”
Zachary leaving her notes. Us just having worked through what we were doing. The interrogation. Kieran attacking her or him and me coming to blows right in front of her.
“I can’t speak for Kieran—” He hesitated and then gave a soft laugh. “Shit, I can’t even really speak for Avery. But I think, to Avery, you’re hers.”
I glanced to where Einstein was curled up in a ball, sleeping in the chair directly next to Maverick’s.
“And fuck, man, that bothered me for so long. I thought something was there or that I was going to lose her to you when all that shit went down between us. I didn’t get why she is so damn protective over you until recently. But she had horrible parents and lost her sister. So, she chooses her family, and she chose you from about the minute she met you.”
If he’d known I’d chosen her too, only in an entirely different way, he wouldn’t be having this conversation with me.
“She met up with all of us after going into ARCK that first day to tell us that she was working with the enemy and we needed to get over it,” he said with a smirk. “And said, ‘There’s this huge, brick wall of a guy, and he has the best smile in the world, and I’ve decided he’s ours now. I’ll inform him later.’”
A sharp laugh left me, but Maverick gave me a weak glare.
“I hated you from that moment.”
“Yeah, I had an idea.”
Maverick was silent for a while as he watched Einstein. When he spoke, his voice was somber. “She missed the threat before, and it almost cost her life. Now, she can see it. Whether the threat is Sutton doesn’t matter to Avery; it’s linked to her just the same. I think, because of the link, Avery’s convinced the threat is coming for you.”
“Don’t talk about me like you know what I’m thinking,” Einstein mumbled without opening her eyes.
Maverick reached for her, grabbing her knee. “I’m right though.”
“Don’t be smug either. These are my things.” A smile broke across her face when Maverick squeezed her knee, but her eyes still remained shut.
I took a step back and was about to say I was leaving when I felt Kieran slip into the room.
From the way Maverick’s eyes darted behind me, I knew I was right.
“Problem,” he said in way of greeting.
I slanted him a cold, hard look when he came up beside me, but he just stood there, staring at me as he always did. As if our fight from hours before had never happened.
“They’re gone.”
My heart and my stomach immediately dropped.
Ice-cold fear and pain encompassed me.
I looked to the open bedroom door, as if I could see across the suite to where Sutton was supposed to be, and took a step in that direction.
Kieran went to stop me, but I slammed my palm into his chest, forcing him back.
“Not the girls,” he bit out.
I’d made it another two steps before his words registered, but even then, I continued staring at the doorway, torn between checking on them and finding out exactly who he was talking about.
All I could see was the way Sutton had pushed me away.
How she wouldn’t let me hold her.
Wouldn’t look at me.
I dragged a hand through my hair and turned. “Then who,” I demanded through clenched teeth.
“I went to the other eight houses.”
If Einstein hadn’t been awake before, Maverick’s and my reactions would have done the job.
“Alone?”
“Have you lost your goddamn mind?”
“I would’ve had it handled. I already knew how many people would be there and how they would more than likely set up,” Kieran said evenly. “But there was no one stationed there.”
“Then the guy you caught was lying,” I said. “Would it be so hard to believe he was?”
At that, Kieran’s eyes narrowed into slits. “There were signs of people recently being at each place. Tracks in mulch, fresh cigarette butts, stuff like that. The bunkers were empty. All of them.”
“Damn it.” I threaded my fingers together on top of my head and loosed a slow sigh as our biggest lead slipped away. “Notes?”
“Only at the Larson’s. They knew that was where we were going first.”
I shook my head, refusing to respond to the meaning in his words. “I’m going to bed.” Looking to Maverick, I said, “There’s nothing else we can do for him right now. Sleep.”
He nodded, worry and exhaustion weighing heavily on him. “Thank you. For everything.”
I didn’t respond. I didn’t know how to when I wasn’t sure it was enough. I just grabbed my bag and left the room, knowing Kieran was right behind me and hating that he was.
Once we were in the kitchen, Kieran reached for my shoulder and said, “We need to talk.”
I shoved him away, rounding on him. “I told you to fucking leave.”
He studied me with that cold lethaln
ess. “I don’t leave my family.”
“What if this all goes differently?” When he didn’t respond, I continued. “What if you’re wrong? What if Sutton hasn’t been playing us and she’s telling us the truth? And you and Einstein thinking she’s behind this is all still part of Zachary’s fucked-up game to get us to turn on each other.” I stepped toward him and lowered my voice. “And then I keep them. That’s the third option you didn’t give me, but it’s the option I want to take.”
The muscles in his jaw strained, and his head shifted in a faint rejection.
“What happens then? Because the reason for keeping them with me is so I don’t lose my family. But what’s the fucking point of staying around any of you if she’ll always be treated this way and we’ve all shattered ties in an irreversible kind of way?”
“When she breaks you, I’ll be here,” he said simply.
“If she doesn’t?”
His shoulders moved in a ghost of a shrug. “I told you, I don’t leave family.”
“So, if one day, she and Lexi become my family . . .”
His expression was stone. No hint of any emotion or thought behind that razor-sharp stare.
“Think about what it would be like for you if I hated Jess. If I attacked her the way you attacked Sutton tonight. If you couldn’t trust me to be in the same room with her. Would you still be standing there, calling me family and saying you wouldn’t turn your back on me?” I leaned close and seethed, “If you forgot . . . we killed every man who ever hurt her.”
I didn’t expect a response, and I didn’t wait around for one.
Sutton
My eyes opened when the door to the bathroom shut.
My chest pitched when the shower turned on, and I rolled over, looking for the time. It had only been two hours since I’d come in here.
Then again, with all that had gone down in less than that, I knew anything could have happened in that time.
Especially to Diggs.
My chest ached for the ridiculous man who, in the span of a few minutes, had somehow become my daughter’s best friend. Who’d spent an entire day entertaining her and spoiling her.
Everything had been so perfect when Lexi had gone to sleep.
Then everything had gone to hell.
Lexi’s little world was going to be rocked when she woke, and I already hated it for her.
I slipped out of bed, my body and my heart and my mind torn.
Stopping in front of the bathroom door, I placed my palms and forehead against the wood, almost as if I could feel Conor on the other side.
I knew what needed to be done.
I just didn’t know how I was supposed to make it through.
For the majority of my adult life, I’d pretended the horrible things weren’t happening. Told myself it was what I wanted to make it through and face another day with an unscathed façade.
This?
There was no pretended it wasn’t happening. That Conor’s family wasn’t falling apart around him because of me.
Leaving was the last thing in the world either of us wanted.
But it was what he needed.
I reached for the handle and quickly slipped into the steam-filled bathroom, locking the door behind me.
Conor never looked up from where he stood in the shower, hands pressed to the wall, head hanging low, spray beating down on his skin and washing away the blood that had been staining him.
My avenging angel.
Defeated.
Drained.
Beautiful.
I stripped, leaving my clothes next to his, and stepped into the shower.
Body shaking.
Soul reaching.
Heart aching.
My movements were unsure as I wrapped my arms around him, laced my hands together against his chest, and pressed my body close to his, trying to soak up some of his grief.
He gripped my hands in one of his, a shudder rolling through his back when I laid my head there.
For long minutes, we stayed that way, without ever saying a word.
I started pulling away when he loosened his grip on my hands, only for Conor to reverse our positions.
Slowly, effortlessly.
His large, tattooed hands trailed up my body and tilted my head back so he could search my eyes. The pain and understanding there shattered my already slowly breaking heart.
Tears filled my eyes and eventually spilled over, and then his mouth was on mine, taking my breath and the shattered pieces of my heart in a soft, haunting kiss.
Then he was turning us, and I was in his arms as he pressed me against the cool shower wall, ignoring the way I tried to arch away from it and closer to his warm body.
His mouth was against mine.
My legs wrapped around his narrow hips, as if we’d done this thousands of times.
Our bodies fit together as though we were made for each other.
And then he was filling me. Stretching me. Taking me and making me his in the most exquisite way.
In a way that would stay with me forever.
It was rough and filled with his pain and mine.
It was frenzied and passionate.
It was beautiful.
He curled his hand under my jaw, tilting my head back as his mouth and teeth left an excruciatingly hot trail across my neck. When his mouth found mine again, his hand slid to my cheek, cradling and adoring.
Gentle. Powerful. All Conor.
His forehead rolled against my own, his bright eyes locking with mine as he passed his thumb over my lips.
“Sutton, I love you.”
He captured my mouth before the shock of hearing those words had even registered.
Tears slipped faster down my cheeks as I tried to hold on to him.
This moment.
After.
It was as if Conor knew I was saying goodbye, and with each touch, each brush of his lips, he was pleading with me to stay.
He held me tight through my release and pushed through to his own.
With each thrust, I heard his confession in my head.
With each thrust, my own responded.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
Goodbye.
When it was over, he slowly lowered me to the shower floor, never fully letting me go.
And I could feel it, his fear of what would happen when he did.
I stayed in his arms, letting him wash me and take care of me before I turned to do the same for him. Trying to prolong this moment when I knew it wouldn’t last.
Scrambling for time I no longer had.
I sagged against his body when he wrapped a towel around me, allowing myself a few more seconds in his arms to say everything I couldn’t.
Thank you.
You’re perfect.
You have the kindest heart of anyone I’ve ever met.
I will always love you.
I traced one of the swirling patterns on his chest before pressing a kiss there and pulling away.
He didn’t say anything, but the air felt thick and hard to breathe as I left the bathroom.
I hurried over to my and Lexi’s bags, frantically shoving clothes and necessities into the smallest one as I slipped into a clean set of pajamas.
By the time Conor came into the bedroom, I was in bed, facing Lexi. Eyes shut. Destroyed heart racing.
I held my breath when he leaned over me to grab a pillow, lips brushing softly across my shoulder as he did.
And then I prayed.
That he wouldn’t set up post in front of the door.
That he would fall asleep quickly.
That he would understand what I was about to do was for him.
I forced the pent-up breath to release slowly when he laid down beside the bed, thankful for that small victory.
I focused on the sounds of his breaths, waiting for when they would even out and deepen.
When they finally did, I began counting them.
After the one hundredth one, I crawled over Lexi, wincing at even the slightest sound, and pulled her to the side of the bed with me, rolling her toward me once my feet were on the floor.
I softly rubbed her back, waiting for when she would wake up, and quietly whispered her name into her ear.
As soon as she stirred, I leaned back so I was in front of her face and held a finger to my lips.
Her tired eyes immediately widened and she nodded.
I curled my arms around her body and lifted her from the bed, pressing my mouth to her ear. “We have to be silent.”
I felt her nod before she wrapped herself tighter around me, and then I started toward the small bag I’d packed.
Each step there sounded too loud to my ears, and once I had the strap slung over my shoulder, my footfalls turned into the banging of a bass drum.
The click of the bedroom door was piercing.
But Conor’s breathing didn’t change.
Once we were out in the hall, my steps came faster and faster until I was rushing through the living room, gripping Lexi tighter to me as I did.
I was a few steps—just seconds—from the door when he appeared from the shadows, directly in front of it.
A startled cry clawed up my throat as I came to an abrupt halt, turning so Lexi was as far from him as I could get her.
“Please.” The word was soft and weak and trembled leaving my tongue. “Please, just let us go.”
“Can’t do that,” Kieran said, pure threat and challenge.
“Why? Why wouldn’t you want that? Do you see what happens when I’m around you?”
“And what—”
“Don’t you dare come near my daughter,” I seethed, taking a giant step back when he moved forward.
Kieran moved back to his original position as if that had always been his intention, hands raised to show they were empty, piercing eyes shifting to catch my every move.
“Momma,” Lexi whispered into my ear.
I tightened my grip on her, my body tensed and prepared for any number of things.
To drop the bag barely clinging to my shoulder.
To turn and run.
To let go of Lexi and fight a man I knew I had no chance of beating.
“Momma, he’s sad.”
I placed a hand to the back of Lexi’s head, prompting her to put it down.
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