by Lauren Helms
Most likely though, if I’m around they will keep the details to a minimum for my sake. I grab the pizza from Morgan’s arms as they immediately go around Dex’s neck. Then the kissing starts. I shake my head and laugh because shit, they need their own place. I’m about 99 percent positive that if they had their own place right now, they wouldn’t be here, with an audience.
A groan comes from the couch. “Damn, I was looking forward to pizza but now my appetite is gone.”
Expecting Dex to shut him down, I hear a “shut up, Link” from Morgan and a laugh from Dex.
Placing the pizza box on the counter in the kitchen, I snag up two pieces, grab a Diet Coke from the fridge and head back into the living room. I get a good start on my pizza when the rest of them file in and Bernie shows up.
She hugs both girls because I guess that’s what girls do when they don’t see each other for five days. She immediately launches into all her questions about their trip. They talk about the Hollywood Walk of Fame, Hollywood sign, and the other sightseeing they did.
“And oh my goodness, Bernie, you have to see this dress Gia bought. Oh man, we went to Rodeo Drive and tried on fucking gorgeous dresses,” Ruby gushes.
“Freaking expensive dresses, but gorgeous,” Morgan adds.
“Shit, I’m gonna need a beer,” Link mutters.
“Ooh, do you have a picture? She told me about the gala she is going to. There are going to be tons of A-listers there. I’m so excited for her but also so dang jealous.” Bernie’s voice drips with excitement.
Great. So much for sparing me the details. Typically, they seem mindful of me being around. I’ve never asked them to not talk about her because they just didn’t before.
“Oh, and guess who she is having lunch with next week?” Ruby just chatters away about some hot young TV star and I want to shoot myself in the face.
I clear my throat, stand and go to the kitchen to get more pizza and a beer. Link was onto something. I’m thinking about going to my room, I stop for a moment where no one can see me, so I can listen, when I hear Morgan speaking.
“Her studio apartment is so trendy and it’s super nice. But it’s so much smaller than I was expecting.”
“Well, she told you it was small the first time she showed you via FaceTime, babe,” Dex says.
“Yeah, I know, but I was expecting it to be bigger than it seems I guess,” she replies.
I start walking back into the living room figuring out the best way to excuse myself.
“But the best part is that she’s moving back to Chicago.” I hear Ruby’s voice but when my head shoots up, my vision is a little blurry for a moment. I zero in on Ruby and she’s looking right at me with a satisfied little smile on her face. I blink and look around. I notice everyone else in the room has gone still. No one else is looking directly at me, but I can feel them waiting for my reaction. My reaction, to—
Fuck, did she say Gia was moving back?
I tilt my head in thought as Ruby continues to explain to the group, “She hates LA, so she talked to her boss about it and they worked something out with her current job. Then her boss helped her get a job with Weekly Entertainment magazine. So, she gets the best of both worlds, Chicago and her dream job.”
There is still a resounding silence in the room. As I continue to process the news, I change my trajectory and move back to my vacated seat. I continue to eat my pizza when Bernie pipes up.
“When is this move back happening?”
Morgan and Ruby briefly go into more detail and then the conversation switches to our tournament and how we did. We won of course, but none of that matters to me at this moment because all I can think about is that Gia is coming back.
They talk about how they are going to plan a welcome-home party, much like the going-away party they had. I don’t miss the way Ruby subtly informs the group that everyone must be in attendance. Then she gets serious.
“Gia hates it in LA because she’s utterly alone. She’s made some friends, but it’s not like you could ever replace the likes of us. So, this party, all of us being there—plus her other friends and her parents—it's going to mean a lot to her.”
I’ve tried to hear very little information about Gia over the last several months, I even try to ignore it when I do hear it. Honestly though, I soak it up like a sponge does water. But the one thing I don’t think I ever recall hearing is whether or not Gia was happy in her new life. I’d never wish her anything but happiness, but it never occurred to me that she might not have any. Shit, I don’t think I would have been able to move across the country on my own, for just a job, knowing no one. I kind of did, when I moved to Chicago to live with the team and go to college. But at that point, I knew Dex, Link, Bernie, and Ben pretty well. So, I already had people here I knew, which was the whole point of the move.
I’ve thought about this so many times … what I would do when Gia visits. What I would say to her. What I would do if she, for some reason, moved back. Would I try to fix things? Would I want to get back together with her? Would she want that? How long would I stay bitter? Would I still be angry and annoyed every time she came around, like I was for so long just a year ago?
I don’t know the answer to any of those questions. I do know that I miss her like crazy but at the same time, would I want to risk losing her again? A third time? History has a tendency to repeat itself when it comes to Gia. At what point does trying the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome just make me a fool?
Chapter Thirty-Five
Gia
I toss my messenger bag onto the bed. Well, it’s Morgan’s old bed, but she didn’t need it anymore. Morgan and Dex moved into their new apartment last month and they bought a lot of new things to fill it with. I think Dex is pretty wealthy, from what I’m told. It’s strange to think of him and the team as millionaires, which I’m about 85% sure they are. But unlike my fully furnished apartment in LA, everything here is either mine, or new to me from Morgan.
I’ve been back in Chicago for an hour and this new place already feels like home. But then again, Ruby and Morgan have had the keys to it for two weeks and have gotten it live-in ready for me. They are also in the living room waiting for me to check out my new space.
I wander back down the hall to find them.
“Well, I think it might be a little bit bigger than our old apartment,” I tell Morgan.
“Yeah, but the layout is pretty much the same. It's nice that the second bedroom has a walk-in closet and this kitchen is a lot bigger,” she says, shoving some of the food that Ruby just brought into her mouth. Morgan picked me up from the airport, but Ruby had some kind of last-minute errands to run, so she met us here with several grocery bags in hand.
Ruby shoves boxes of Lucky Charms and Kix in my pantry and turns around, pointing a finger at me.
“Gia, we are taking you out tonight. Go put on something cute. I’ve already hung up and put away all your clothes.”
“Speaking of, Rube, you did not need to do that. Thank you but I could have unpacked myself. When you texted me throughout the week about where I wanted things, I thought you just wanted to make sure boxes got to the right spots,” I say with my hands on my hips. I had shipped most of my stuff earlier in the week.
“Well, it took me all of about an hour. You need new clothes.” She levels a stare at me. I roll my eyes with mirth.
“Where are we going?” I ask.
Morgan replies, but doesn’t answer my question. “Oh, wear that super cute black dress that shows off your shoulders,” she says, hopping up on the counter, her legs dangling.
I love that dress. I bought it in LA when my mom visited and we went shopping. I told Morgan all about it.
“So, we are going somewhere fancy?”
“Does it matter? Let's just dress to the nines,” Morgan replies.
“Are you going back to your place to change?” I ask because she's wearing a pair of capris, a black tee, and Chucks.
“Nope, my outfit is in the car, we are getting ready together!” She smiles.
“Alrighty then. Let’s get our girl time on,” I laugh.
A couple hours later, we pile out of a cab in front of The Bar. What?
I got all dressed up for a pub?
“You guys, I thought we were going somewhere fancy. We are way overdressed,” I tell them, pausing in the middle of the sidewalk.
Both of them have knowing grins on their faces. “Come on, just go with it.”
“What? What’s going on?” They both grab an arm and pull me to the door. Ruby pushes inside first and, as I try to keep from stumbling in, I’m greeted with an old feeling of contentment as I walk into the place where I’ve spent so many evenings with my best friends.
Right at the entrance is a long bar to the left, and a short wall to the right blocks the seating area and a small stage. There are pool tables in the back near a small area for larger groups of people. It’s where Morgan and Ruby set up my going-away party months ago. Nothing looks out of the ordinary until Morgan pulls my hand as we turn the corner, leading me to the table area. Then I see it. A big banner draped across the back wall and a large group of people standing around cheering my name.
Oh. My. God.
They did it again. Ruby and Morgan planned another party but this time they surprised me with it. I start laughing and I can’t fight the tears that gather in my eyes when I see my parents standing next to Bernie. Link and Dex are nearby and so is Wade, Dex’s brother. There are several other people I consider friends whom I’ve stayed in touch with over the past six months. Whether I met them through jobs or just various places over the years here in Chicago, they’re all here now.
I don’t see the one person who would make this whole thing about ten times better though. He isn’t in the throng of people who have come to welcome me home. I try not to let the disappointment overpower my happiness, at least not now. I can let myself feel the pain tonight when I’m alone in my bed. For now, I’ll enjoy these amazing friends and family.
I thank Morgan and Ruby with hugs and go to my parents first. When my mom visited last month, she knew I was moving back to Chicago. My dad was really bummed to hear that he wouldn’t get to vacation in LA, but he thought a long weekend trip to Chicago would be great too.
I make my rounds, spending a little extra time giving Dex and Link hugs. I missed them both, but I wasn’t aware of how much they had become part of my life until tonight, seeing them here to welcome me home. Before I moved on to mingle with the rest of my guests, Dex lays a hand on my shoulder.
“He’ll be here. Give him some time.”
I suck in a breath, wondering if my initial scan of the group didn’t go unnoticed like I’d initially hoped. I just give him a slight smile and nod my head.
At least an hour goes by and I take a seat at one of the tables next to Ruby. She sits next to Link, Wade, and Bernie who are laughing and telling stories, having a grand ol’ time. I sit down after saying goodbye to my parents for the night, having made plans to do lunch with them tomorrow before they head back to Indy.
Ruby turns away from the group and leans into my side.
“Hey, gurl,” she says in a seductive voice. I chuckle.
“Hey, you haven’t by chance seen Ryan Gosling around here tonight, have you?”
She pouts. “Unfortunately, no. Now I’ll need to go on a Gosling binge.”
“I’m all for a rewatch of The Notebook or Crazy, Stupid, Love., but for the love of God, I’m not watching La La Land with you again. I hate that movie.”
“You only hate it because of the ending,” she counters.
“Exactly, which is enough to make a blanket statement about it,” I defend.
Her hands go up in surrender.
I sip my water and let out a small sigh.
“He came to the airport. To say goodbye.” She speaks low but clearly.
“What?” I stammer turning toward her.
“Yeah, he was about three minutes too late. He was all sweaty and out of breath, like he had just run miles to get to you,” she tells me. And I’m floored. And confused.
“What? I’m sorry. I don’t understand,” I say.
She continues. “We offered to call you to have you come back but he was pretty distraught. Said it wasn’t meant to be. Said you didn’t need to know he was there,” she says sadly.
I just stare at her with my jaw slacked and nearly on the floor.
“Don’t be mad,” she says quickly. My silence is clearly making her nervous.
I’m not. At least, I don’t think I am.
Am I?
Am I mad that he didn’t want me to know he came? Am I mad that no one told me? What would I have done if I had seen him? Cried, kissed him, told him I loved him? It would have only made getting on that plane about a thousand times harder. Am I glad I didn’t know?
“I’m not … mad,” I say, sounding less convincing than I thought because she winces.
I try to smile, but it’s strained. “I’m not mad. Really. At you or anyone else. I’m not even mad at him,” I tell her.
“OK. But for what it’s worth, I still think he’ll show up tonight. The night’s still young,” she says, grabbing my hand. I give her a smile when the table erupts at a joke that Bernie just told. We both turn back to the table and I try to submerge myself back into the pack. I feel like I’ve forgotten how to be around a group of friends.
A while later I excuse myself for a trip to the bar. I need a shot of something. We’ve been here for almost three hours now and there’s no sign of Simon.
I down my shot of tequila and wince as the smooth burn slides down my throat. I consider ordering another when I feel someone move into the spot on my right at the bar. The later it gets, the busier in here it gets, but this guy is kinda close. Out of the corner of my eye I see strong, lean, sexy-as-fuck forearms leaning onto the bar. It isn’t until I hear an all-too-familiar voice order two shots of tequila that I realize it.
His voice is like my own personal brand of tequila. It warms my bones and soothes all my aches and pains. I angle my head toward him and offer a small smile.
His head is hanging slightly down toward the bar top but he’s looking right at me.
“Why are you always late?” I ask.
“Why are you always leaving?” he shoots back but there’s no venom behind it.
“I’m done leaving,” I tell him honestly. I’m not going to beg him to believe me. I’ll show him in time that I’m not leaving again if that’s what it takes.
“Is that right? Not your cup of tea?” He lifts a brow.
“Nope, leaving always means I lose the best parts of me.”
“Hmm.”
I turn toward him right as the shots are placed in front of him. My knees brush his thigh.
“Simon. I mean it. I’m done leaving. I didn’t have a choice the first time. I wanted a chance to chase my dream the second. And the one thing that was constant both times was that I had to leave you.”
He turns toward me now, giving me his full attention. I use his thoughtful expression as a cue to continue.
“I miss you when you are not in my life. I don’t care what capacity it is in. Whether we’re just friends or more, I want to be in your life,” I tell him.
“Bossy much?”
I smile but don’t give in. “You’re stuck with me.”
He sighs and, for a second, I think he’s going to tell me there’s not a chance in hell that I’m getting what I want. But when he speaks, his voice is full of tenderness.
“G. I’m sorry I ended things the way I did. I’m sorry that I didn’t say goodbye to you. I’m just sorry that I’ve wasted the past seven months not being a part of your life.”
I can feel the stupid happy tears in the back of my throat. He grabs my head in his hands and leans in close to my face, his eyes searching mine.
“G. I love you so fucking much. I’ve never stopped, and I never will stop.” I gasp,
and I barely get my “I love you too” out before his mouth is on mine.
His lips are warm and soft, just as I remember. His hands stay cupped around my face and I hear distant cheers and catcalls. His tongue parts my lips as he steps in closer to me. I breathe him in, and his warmth, the feel of his lips on mine, the feeling of his entire being wrapping around me makes me feel at home.
We break apart, both taking in lungs full of air. His hands leave my face and quickly grab mine. He reaches back to the abandoned shots and slides one in front of me.
Then he brings his shot up in front of him.
“So, what do you say, G? How about one more round?”
Epilogue
Gia
Pushing a massive box of comic books into the closet, I let out a heavy breath. I’ve never seen that many comics in one place before.
“Rube, how did you get that box up here?” I ask. She’s standing at her dresser arranging her jewelry on the stand. Ruby moved in yesterday, which I’m excited about. I’ve missed having a roommate, even if Simon stays over a lot of nights.
She snickers. “Your hunk of a boyfriend carried it up.”
Smiling, I reply, “Well, that’s why I keep him around.”
“Duh,” she says, smiling at me in the dresser mirror.
“You know I’m standing right here, yeah?” Simon says near the wall next to the closet. He’s hanging a picture of the four of us girls on the wall.
I stand, walk to him and pat him on the cheek. “I know, babe. I know.”
He winks at me and my insides tingle.
“Tell me again why Link isn’t over here helping you with this? Not that I’m not happy to lend my manly, hunky services, but that fool will do just about anything you ask him to do, Ruby.” He takes a step back and admires his handiwork.
She snorts, “Maybe, but he bitches and complains first. I didn’t ask him.”
“Really? Why?” I ask.