by Stone, M. T.
“Hi Daddy. Last Christmas, I guess. I’ve been pretty busy with everything.” I reach out and give him a hug. “How is Mom doing?”
“She’s doing better today. She perked up quite a bit after I told her you were coming home for a visit. She’s looking forward to spending some time with you.” He grabs my bags and we head toward his pickup truck. He has driven the same old blue and white Chevy truck ever since we moved to Tennessee.
“I can’t believe this thing still runs,” I comment, jumping up into the passenger side.
“Oh shit, she’s barely broken in,” he says with a grin. “It’s only got a quarter million miles on it, so she’s got lots of life left.”
With a quarter-million miles, he could have driven coast to coast a hundred times but nearly all those miles are within fifty miles of home. I gaze out the window taking in the beautiful Tennessee countryside. Everything moves at a completely different pace out here. We cross over an old bridge that reminds me of the creek where Mom and I used to go. I hope she’s strong enough to go for a ride, because I would love to take her there again.
“It’s been hot and dry all month,” Dad says making small talk. “We could use a little rain to green things up.”
“Yeah, well things are pretty green here compared to most places I’ve been.” I gaze down the length of the creek and notice how beautiful the sparkling blue water is against the dark green trees. “I think you have forgotten how beautiful it is here.” I glance over at him to see his reaction.
“It is beautiful, but it’s also pretty damn quiet. I don’t think I can sit around out here after I retire.” He glances over at me with a scowl on his face.
“Are you retiring?” I ask, a little surprised since he is only fifty-six.
“No, I just like talking about it.” He laughs and slaps the steering wheel. “Keeps me sane, you know?”
“I know.” We all have those little things that we think or say in an effort to convince ourselves that life will be better one day. My favorite is, one day when I meet the man of my dreams. I smile, suddenly thinking about the fact that Trey could easily be that man. Of course, right now he is probably with Vanessa.
“How was your trip?” Dad asks, never one to let the silence linger.
“It was fine except we had to cut it short when Tyler overdosed,” I reply flatly.
“Yeah, that’s too bad. First Victor is gunned down, now Tyler. I should call Silvia and see how she is doing,” he says with a thoughtful gaze on his face. “It looks like Trey is the number one suspect again, so that has to be hard too.”
“I’m sure.” I roll my eyes and glare out the window. “It’s those fucking tabloids. They just make that shit up!”
“They have to sell magazines and nothing sells better than a scandal,” he quips. “Especially if it involves a rich family. We all like to see the rich get shredded. You know that as well as anyone, right?”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” I reply, wanting to change the topic. “On an upbeat note I won a million and a quarter euros at the Monte Carlo casino last night!” I perk up, suddenly reliving the thrill of winning all that money.
“Holy crap! What’s that in dollars?” Dad sputters, sounding as if he had actually chocked on something.
“Trey says it will be about a million and a half dollars.” I beam.
“Jesus, that’s amazing, girl!” He shakes his head and looks over at me with wide eyes.
“Yeah, Trey and I were playing Baccarat and we just kept on winning. I was betting against Tommy Fowler and we won three times in a row. He was so irritated by the end… it was awesome!” I explain, still reveling in how it felt to beat him.
“Tommy Fowler, huh? I really liked his TV show,” Dad says, with a sigh. “I suppose a million and a half dollars doesn’t seem like anything to guys like them. Trey will soon have more money than anyone could spend in ten lifetimes.”
“I don’t know, it seems that he has had a pretty tough road since finishing college. He wanted to prove to Victor that he could make it on his own, but I don’t think it has been as easy as he had hoped,” I confide.
“It never is, pumpkin,” Dad replies, shooting me a knowing smile and shaking his head. “It’s a dog eat dog world out there. There’s no place for the weak at heart.”
“I don’t think Trey is weak. He just needs to find a good mentor.” I tell him, thinking about what an impact the right person could have on him. “He really misses his grand dad.”
“Now he was a good man, both him and Dad. Those two were best friends for most of their lives.” His expression suddenly sours and he drops the subject. “Well, we’re almost home,” he says fearing that any silence might bring on a follow up question.
I snicker to myself, wanting to ask him about Silvia. It would be fun to see how personal I could get before he figured out that Trey told me about the affair. But, that would be childish.
My mood dampens upon entering the house, as it is so deathly quiet and dark. “She’s resting,” Dad whispers, giving me a subdued smile. “I’ll get her up; you go put your stuff in your bedroom.”
I walk down the hallway and into my room, which hasn’t changed a bit since the last time I visited. In fact, it looks exactly the same as it did in high school. It’s a waste of space, but it is sort of comforting to know that I still have the room where I grew up. It’s a place to go if the worst-case scenario ever comes to pass. I wince at the thought of it.
“Amanda?” I hear Mom’s weak, raspy voice coming down the hallway.
“Hi, Mom!” I go out to greet her and lean down to give her a hug. “You look good,” I comment, relieved that she looks better than she sounds on the phone.
“Looks can be deceiving,” she grumbles, fidgeting in her wheel chair. “But I’m better than I was yesterday, I guess.”
“She’s had a lot of pain the past few weeks,” Dad adds, helping her to get comfortable. “Are you two hungry? I have a couple of steaks ready to go on the grill.”
“You two can have steak, I’ll just have one of my shakes,” Mom says, scrunching up her face.
“She can’t handle heavy meals,” Dad says, turning her chair toward the kitchen. “Do you still like steak, Amanda?”
“I still love steak. I don’t think that will ever change.” I sit down at the kitchen table excited that Mom and I will have a chance to talk while Dad grills the steaks.
“I never liked steak until your father started grilling,” Mom says with a sad, reflective look in her eyes. “He really is a good man, Amanda.”
Seeing the sincerity on her face, I nearly burst into tears. My tongue is tied and I have absolutely no response to that. Why did she have to open up with a line like that? I have been wrestling with my feelings ever since Dad picked me up. So far I’ve managed to remain cordial, but I’m not going to sit here and pretend that he has been a wonderful husband. My mind begins to churn as Mom leans forward, studying my expression.
“You know, don’t you?” she asks with a sad smile creeping across her lips.
“Know what?” I can’t understand how I am so transparent; I really need to work on my poker face.
“You get that from Ray. I can always tell what he is thinking before he says a word,” she says, setting her empty can on the table and moving her chair closer to me. “I’m sure you have noticed that I’m not the most loving person in the world.”
I can feel my mood lighten a bit as I nod my head in agreement. I have always loved Mom, especially after moving out here but I had often wondered if she actually loved Darla and me or simply tolerated us. It’s not that she was mean, but she just wasn’t very motherly.
“Well it’s been even worse for Ray,” she continues. “I honestly don’t have a romantic bone in my body and he has always been a man who has pretty strong needs, if you know what I mean.”
I can feel my cheeks getting warm listening to her discreetly talk about Dad’s sex drive. “You don’t have to explain anything to me, Mom
.”
“Yes, I do. I want you to know the whole story.” She glances out the window to make sure that Dad is still occupied before continuing, “We used to have dinner with Victor and Silvia quite often when we lived in the city. But one evening I noticed the looks that your father was giving Silvia. I knew right then that he was in love, because it was written all over his face. I remember praying that Victor wouldn’t notice and he didn’t, but I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that something was going on between the two of them.”
“What did you do?” Now my cheeks are really getting warm! “Did you call him out on it?”
“No,” she smiles and shakes her head. “No, I was honestly a bit relieved. Victor was all business all of the time and Silvia was never one for spending time alone. I on the other hand loved my alone time, so I didn’t mind if he didn’t come home until after I had gone to bed.” She smiles again. “When we were first married I even tried to read some of those cheesy romance novels to figure out what I was missing.” She continues to shake her head from side to side. “I would cringe and roll my eyes until I finally decided that romance just wasn’t in my DNA. It happens I guess.” She shrugs her shoulders and looks out the window.
“So you never confronted him about it?”
“No. Everyone was happy, so I didn’t say a word,” she replies, looking down at her fingers which are busy doing circles around one another. “When the twins were born, Ray was a nervous wreck. He was probably worried that one of them would have that big old nose of his or his hazel eyes. That’s why he called you the other day. No one ever did a paternity test of any kind.”
“Well, he doesn’t have to worry anymore. Trey and I sent in DNA samples and we are not related. So that was a huge relief.”
“Good. He’s been nervous as a cat on a hot tin roof ever since you told him that you kinda liked the boy. I asked him several times what was wrong and he would simply say, I don’t like Amanda hanging around that Addison boy.” She giggles. “I would ask him why not and he would simply change the subject or give me a lame excuse.”
“So when did the affair end?”
“When Victor found out about it,” she says with a reflective look on her face. “He was rummaging through an old cedar chest one day and found a series of cards and letters from Ray. That was the day the whole world changed for all of us.”
“How long had they been seeing each other?” I ask, amazed to be having this conversation with Mom.
“For years.” She sighs. “I think that’s what hurt Victor so bad. Some of the cards and letters were from well before the boys were born, which made it all the worse. Silvia wanted to prove that the boys were his, but he didn’t allow them be tested. I don’t think he wanted to take that chance.”
“I can’t believe you all stayed married through something so traumatic,” I reply in amazement. “I don’t think I could’ve done it.”
“We all focused on you kids,” she says with a faint smile. “I hope you never have to make that kind of a choice.”
“Me too.” I rise up from my chair, lean over and give her a firm hug. “Thank you for being so selfless.”
Her eyes flutter as if there could possibly be a tear trapped somewhere inside. “I told him he could leave when you went off to school. Silvia was already divorced and I knew he would be happier back in New York.”
“Really? And he didn’t go?” I sit back down and pull my chair right up next to hers.
“No. He knew I wasn’t feeling well, so he wanted to stay and make sure I was okay,” she says with just a slight crackle in her voice. “A couple months later, I was diagnosed.”
“I see.” I place my hand on top of hers, stroking it gently. “I’m glad he stayed for you. I would have been so worried if you were here alone.”
“I told him that I could go live with my sister and brother in-law. They have a spare bedroom on the main floor.” She glances out the window after seeing some movement. “Okay, straighten up. He’s coming back in.”
I stand up and pull my chair back to the other side of the table, before excusing myself to the bathroom. I need a moment to myself before seeing him. I’m so glad she told me those things; otherwise I probably would’ve hated him forever. Maybe he is a decent man after all.
“Come and eat Amanda, it’s getting cold,” he yells from the kitchen after a couple minutes have past.
I have to laugh when I walk back into the room to find a steak on a plate, along with a fork and a sharp knife. It’s definitely a man’s idea of a meal. Seeing my reaction, Mom teases him. “She probably would’ve liked a vegetable or at least a potato with it.” She narrows her eyes at Dad.
“I’m sorry, I’m still not the best cook. How about a slice of bread and some pickles,” he says with a laugh. “Pickles are packed with vitamins.”
“That will be fine.” I have to smile as he makes his way to the fridge and searches for the pickles.
“They are right in front of you, Ray,” Mom scoffs. “Right there on the left.”
“Damn guy vision.” Dad shakes his head and sets the pickles on the table. “It’s tough to get old.”
“You did the same damn thing when you were twenty-five,” Mom chides, giving him a crossways grin. “It seems to me that testosterone must be horrible for your eyesight.”
A smile creeps across my face as I listen to the banter between two of them. I can hear Trey and myself having a conversation like this someday. I wonder how things are going for him? I hope Tyler is doing better.
Trey
Walking into Tyler’s room, I am greeted by the rhythmic sound of a ventilator as well as the beeping and chirping of a machine that is monitoring all of his vitals in real-time. A blood pressure cuff begins to inflate and the machine does another series of beeps before his current blood pressure is displayed. Ninety-six over fifty eight displays on the screen. Wow, that seems pretty low.
I glance over at Vanessa who is sitting back in a chair with her eyes closed. I’m sure she hasn’t slept a wink all night, but she still looks good. I take a chair on the other side of Tyler’s bed and close my eyes as well. We have nothing but time to kill, so there is no reason to wake her.
“When did you get here?” she asks shortly after I nod off.
“Just a few minutes ago, I didn’t want to wake you.” I stand up to give her a hug.
“Your cologne drifted over and did that for you,” she teases. “Do you believe this shit?” she asks turning back toward Tyler.
“I don’t actually. What was the deal with the suicide note?”
“The police gave me a copy, if you want to read it,” she says, going over to retrieve it from her purse. “He basically admits to killing your dad.”
She hands me the note and I look down at what definitely does appear to be a suicide note written by him.
Vanessa, Mom and Trey,
I’m so sorry for what I have done.
At the time it seemed like the right thing to do.
But now that he’s gone I just can’t live with myself.
I’m sorry I won’t be there for you Vanessa.
Trey, I’m hoping you will be there for her.
Mom, I’m sorry for everything.
Love you all,
Tyler
As I read the short note, I try to picture Tyler saying these words but I honestly can’t make them fit. Nothing about it sounds like him. The handwriting looks similar to his, but the message seems completely off. I think back to the day of the funeral and his wild accusations. At the time I had a feeling that he was somehow deflecting the attention toward me, but I honestly don’t believe he could’ve done it.
“He didn’t do it.” Mom’s voice reappears from behind me. “Neither of my boys could be responsible for doing something so atrocious.” She pulls the note from my hand and studies it as if she was seeing it for the first time. “I told them to have an expert analyze this note. I’m sure they will find it’s a fake. There is no way my boy killed his fathe
r and then tried to take his own life. He had way too much to live for.” She burst into tears as she moves toward his bed. She takes his hand and lifts it to her heart. “I know you are still in there, baby. You pull through and I promise we will get all of this straightened out.”
I wrap my arm around Mom’s shoulders and give her a hug of support. “I agree with you, Mom. Something just isn’t right with all of this. I know he’s been unhappy and has been struggling with pain killers, but there is no way all of this can be true.”
Vanessa shifts her eyes toward me and nods her head, signaling for me to join her in the hallway. I give Mom a pat on the back and step back joining Vanessa outside the door.
“This is honestly the first thing that has made sense in the past month,” she whispers, her eyes pleading for someone to listen.
“I know you said he had been acting weird lately, but I guess I don’t really know what has been going on between you two,” I reply, searching her face for clues.
“He has been so angry and seemed as if he couldn’t stand to be in the same room with me. I tried to talk to him about it, but he would never come out and say what was bothering him. You know how he was, Trey.” She pulls me further down the corridor, away from Tyler’s doorway.
“I know, he never learned how to deal with his emotions. He has never let go of getting hurt and not being able to play college ball,” I say agreeably, wanting to see where the conversation was headed.
“He was livid with Victor for even considering Tommy as CEO of the company. He claimed to have some kind of proof that he was a fraud and that his companies were not as successful as he portrayed on his TV show.” She bites her top lip and suddenly looking as if she regrets sharing that with me. “I don’t know if that has anything to do with any of this, but he was really upset a couple days ago.”
“Yeah, Tommy tracked me down in Monaco to gloat about the fact that he will be the replacement CEO and that he will be controlling the voting rights on our company shares. I could see why that would send Tyler through the roof. He never liked Tommy much.”