Adam’s eyes gleamed an almost emerald green under the lights of the bridge. “I power through.”
“And that works for you?”
“Every single time. Then I look back and wonder what the hell there was to be afraid of in the first place.”
“So why can’t you write?” she asked, looking back to him.
Adam took a deep breath, and then laughed, but it wasn’t kind of laughter she was used to hearing from him. There was no joy or even irony behind it, but rather a hint of defeat. She wasn’t sure what a man as accomplished as Adam had to feel defeated about. Suddenly she was the one who wanted to remind him of how special he was, of all the gifts he possessed.
“I don’t know,” he finally answered.
The wind from the surf began to pick up, making her curls dance. “You’re a brilliant man, Adam. You make beautiful music that makes people feel things. You make music that makes people love you without ever having met you. That is so special. That is so rare.” She covered her hand with her heart. “You are a brilliant man. A good man,” she said, again, nodding.
Adam’s fingers tightened at her waist.
“I have to admit, it makes me feel a little better that someone as incredibly accomplished as you could still feel inadequate.”
“Incredible, huh?” he asked, his eyes gleaming.
“I said incredibly accomplished, not incredible. Rein in that ego a little.”
Adam pulled away from her, watching as she laughed softly, before giving her shoulder a gentle push. Shaun stumbled on her heels, still laughing, before tumbling into a heap in the sand with a scream.
“You bastard!” she cried, kicking a wad of sand at him.
Adam fell next to her, knees in the sand. Watching Shaun doubled over in laugher, sand sneaking into her heels, he hated the idea of leaving that spot to go put on a show. He hated the idea of leaving her for even a second. Without another thought, he leaned into her, his eyes riveted to her smiling lips as he parted his own over hers.
Shaun immediately pulled away when she saw Adam coming in to kiss her, placing a hand on his chest.
“Adam…” Her heart broke at the look on his face. “No,” she whispered, shaking her head.
Adam didn’t move. His lips remained just inches from hers and his stomach heaved in time with his racing heart. Jamming his eyes shut he reached up and covered Shaun’s hand with his own, feeling his pounding heart through both their hands.
They sat silently in the sand, watching each other, both wondering how the hell they were going to pull all of this off, when each passing day proved tougher than the last.
--
Later that night Shaun was introduced to Paul, an older balding man with serious blue eyes and the head of Adam’s security team, just outside the doors of the arena. She crossed her arms over her chest as the cold night air seeped into her thin jacket, nodding as Paul gave her a rundown of what was going to happen.
“I’m going to walk you into these doors and to your seat. We’re going to walk in, immediately turn left, walk to the top of the staircase and turn right. You’re going to be in the VIP box in the middle of the arena so it’s going to be a bit of a hike. We’re going to move fast so you can’t stop and talk, just keep moving. Understand?”
Shaun nodded her understanding, wondering who in the world she would talk to in an arena full of strangers. Paul opened one of the doors, revealing a massive concert arena that was wall to wall with screaming fans, all staring at the empty stage in anticipation. Shaun’s eyes flew to the stage, as well, and she realized she was just as eager to get a glimpse of Adam as all of his doe-eyed admirers.
She followed Paul into the arena as the door slammed shut and hundreds of people were already looking at her, some even recognized her.
Paul took her arm and pulled her to the left. “This way, keep moving.”
Instinctively, Shaun took Paul’s hand, which he accepted, before pulling her after him and up the massive steps. She heard her name being called by a few unfamiliar voices and, before she knew it, people were screaming her name. With each passing second and each staircase she and Paul cleared more and more heads turned her way. Camera flashes began going off and more people called out to her, gasping, gaping, some even leaving their seats to get a glimpse of Adam’s new girlfriend.
“That’s her, that’s Shaun—“
“That’s Adam’s girlfriend—“
“Shaun—“
“Shaun!”
“SHAUN!”
Shaun found herself staring at the floor, having been completely unprepared for all of this attention. As Paul pulled her to the right she could see the VIP box in sight, but her eyes went wide as word of her presence seemed to spread like wildfire and fans began leaving their seats ahead of she and Paul.
“Move!” Paul pulled Shaun closer and held a large hand out, pushing away any person who attempted to block his path. “Out of the way!”
“Good god.” Shaun mumbled, squinting as the camera flashes and screams intensified. She was truly shocked. One would think that she was the celebrity in here by the reaction that these people were having to her. She wanted to scream that she was just like them--but she wasn’t normal to these people. She was someone who was now on the cover of magazines and on the arm of a man who they were willing to pay good money to see performing live. She wasn’t normal to them.
A wave of relief gripped her when she and Paul finally made it to the VIP box and, to her dismay, the screaming of her name and camera flashes didn’t subside until The White Keys finally took the stage.
--
After the show, Paul led an amazed Shaun backstage. Adam and his band mates had put on an incredible, passionate show and Shaun would be lying if she said that watching him up there hadn’t turned her on in ways she’d never experienced before. To know that the man on that stage, one that thousands of people had paid good money to see, was the same man she’d be sharing a hotel room with that night made her feel extremely special--and frightened. She was now crouched next to a vending machine backstage attempting to be discreet while listening to her voicemail messages. Celia had called her at least a dozen times that night but she hadn’t been able to get to the phone until that moment.
“Dolce and Gabbana?” Celia screamed from the other line for what had to be the hundredth time since Shaun had called her. “Holy shit!”
“I know,” Shaun said. “But that’s not why I called. I’m backstage right now and Adam is going to be here any minute. I need to know what to do when we get back upstairs to the room.”
“He tried to kiss you on the beach where there were no cameras or paparazzi around to document the event. It’s clear that he wants to get it in.”
“Do you think that’s all he wants?” Shaun asked. “Do you think he just wants sex?”
A long silence followed on Celia’s end. “That doesn’t matter, and that’s not something that you can allow to matter in your head or your heart if you plan on coming out of this alive. This is business, Shaun.”
Shaun was beginning to grow frustrated at the thin line between Adam and business. It seemed to be growing thinner by the second. “Okay… okay you’re right.”
“And it also doesn’t matter because you are not going to have sex with him,” Celia said. “Not just because you’re a virgin but because you’re not a slut. Adam has probably never had a woman next to him in bed who’s turned him down. You’re going to be that woman tonight.”
“What if he doesn’t try anything with me?”
“He will.”
Shaun looked up from the vending machine when she saw the band coming in from the stage as fans continued to scream for another encore in the arena behind them. Without another word she hung up the phone just as Adam made eye contact with her and ran over. To her surprise, Adam slowed to a stop and leaned down, wrapping his hands around the back of her thighs and lifting her off the floor.
Shaun screamed, but managed to wrap her legs arou
nd his waist and her arms around his neck, burying her head in the crook to hide her smile. There were still quite a few press people lingering backstage from the interviews they’d conducted before the show, and they were now snapping away as she and Adam embraced. She looked up from where she was holding him, and was truly shocked at the sight of cameras. She’d completely forgotten they were there.
Was that why Adam had hugged her so enthusiastically? All for the sake of the cameras? She pulled back and looked into his eyes as he lowered her back down to the floor, holding her by the small of her back while pulling her body firmly against his. Shaun was surprised to feel his body flush with hers and was even more surprised at the very evident excitement that she was sure she felt pressing against her. His gaze was riveted to hers and he didn’t seem to notice the cameras, either. Shaun kept her hands clasped behind his neck.
“I saw you out there,” Adam whispered.
“I saw you, too,” Shaun said, her eyes narrowing to all of the cameras around them.
“Look at me.”
Hesitantly, her eyes broke away from the many cameras and connected with Adam’s. She couldn’t help but smile just looking at him. The way he watched her mouth, desperately… hungrily… made it very clear to Shaun what his intentions were.
“I know you don’t want to be intimate in front of the cameras. Not for work purposes…” Adam took the knot she’d tied into the front of her XL White Keys t-shirt and twisted it nervously. “I know your rules…”
Shaun nodded.
“What about doing it…Not because you have to…” He twirled the knot in her shirt around his fingers until it was tangled, holding them both hostage. “But because…” He swallowed thickly. “Because you want to?”
Shaun’s entire body jolted in shock when the phone in her back pocket began to vibrate.
Adam froze, his face inches from hers, eyes searching as he watched her pull the ringing phone out of her pocket to answer it. He kept his eyes on hers, her shirt still tangled in his fingers. He tugged it gently with a small smile.
“Hello?” Shaun answered, breathlessly, unable to break eye contact.
“Did you just hang up on me? Who the hell does a girl have to sleep with to keep her best friend on the phone?” Celia cried from the other line. “We’re not done talking. I need to make sure you understand our rule #2 to from every conceivable angle. We need to discuss it in depth to make sure you don’t mess up.”
Shaun wasn’t listening. Adam still hadn’t broken their eye contact, and the look in his eyes only grew more intense with every second. His fingers, which were still wrapped up in her shirt, had somehow snuck underneath the fabric and he was now running the back of his fingers along the sensitive skin under her belly button. His gaze jumped from her eyes to her mouth, back and forth.
“Hey… Hey friend.” She stuttered, hoarsely.
A small frown touched Adam’s face.
Shaun didn’t miss it. That word ‘friend’ really did have much more power than she’d ever given it credit for. Since she could see that the word was causing Adam distress—something she’d rather each chalk than do at that moment, she corrected herself. “Hey Celia.”
Adam raised his eyebrows and a tiny smile teased his lips. The relief on his face spoke volumes.
“Hey Celia? That’s all you have to say to me? What’s going on?”
Shaun continued to speak somewhat absently. “Oh, the flat iron?”
“What?!” Celia cried from the other line.
Shaun swallowed heavily when Adam continued to softly stroke the skin of her stomach, still watching her intensely. She could feel his nails gently scratching at her skin, as if he were trying to grab hold of much more. “Yeah, babe… it’s in the hall closet next to the wash cloths where it always is.”
“What the hell are you talking about?!”
“You see it? Okay, great. Happy to help friend. Bye.” Shaun disconnected the call before Celia could say another word. “Celia,” she said, holding up the phone in a trembling hand.
Adam could only nod, his eyes falling to her lips. Suddenly, he spoke. “Shaun I…” He released the hold he had on the knot of her shirt and boldly laid his hand completely against her stomach. He could feel it heaving and was relieved to know that he wasn’t alone in his nervousness.
“You what?” she whispered.
Adam’s head fell and he took several deep breaths before looking back up at her. “I--”
Yoshi came charging into the area. “Adam! Yo Adam!”
Adam and Shaun’s heads both snapped towards Yoshi, The White Keys’ drummer, wide eyed.
Yoshi motion behind him. “Veronica’s backstage. She’s walking over here right now.”
Shaun looked back at Adam. He looked like he’d seen a ghost. “Who’s Veronica?”
Swallowing heavily, Adam’s wide eyes were still riveted to where Yoshi had pointed, but his hand remained under Shaun’s shirt, warming her skin. Finally, he answered. “My ex.”
“The Victoria’s Secret model?”
Adam could only nod and, just like that, Shaun’s eyes were just as wide as his as she waited with baited breath for the Victoria’s Secret Model to make her first appearance.
Shaun had a feeling it would be a night to remember.
Seven
Veronica was predictably tall with long, lean muscles that flexed ever so slightly with every step she took in the tiny black dress she wore. Her blonde hair tumbled down to cover her breasts in gentle ringlets and bounced wildly around her face and body. She looked like a Victoria’s Secret ad in real-time, right there in that dingy backstage hallway. Shaun was almost tempted to bust out her camera phone just to catch the woman in action. As Veronica stopped in front of Shaun, Adam and Yoshi, her bright blue eyes were only riveted to one of them—Shaun.
Shaun attempted to be cordial. “Hi Victoria.”
The blonde bombshell’s face fell. “It’s Veronica.”
Shaun jammed her eyes shut. “Right. It’s just that you’re a Victoria’s Secret model and, you know, Victoria, Veronica… really similar names so…” Shaun trailed off, waiting for Veronica to give her a break. When she didn’t, Shaun’s stomach fell. “Freudian slip.”
She suddenly felt very exposed under the model’s gaze. Could models tell when they were in the company of another model? Was it clear to Veronica that Shaun was a total fraud? Did she even know anything about Shaun? Maybe she was too busy being beautiful and perfect to follow any of the tabloids that Shaun’s face was splattered all over.
“So this is the infamous Shaun.”
Whoops. Apparently Victoria’s Secret models read the tabloids, too.
Shaun, surprised both by the abrupt and unexpected attention and the very sour, yet subtle undercurrent Veronica had just used to say her name, raised her eyebrows. “That would be me—I guess.” Shaun looked to Adam, but his eyes were riveted to Veronica.
“Why are you here?” he suddenly demanded. There was a hardness behind his voice that Shaun had never heard. The air in the room immediately stiffened. She suddenly found herself curious to know what had gone on between these two. It all had a very unfinished feeling and Shaun was instantly uncomfortable.
She and Yoshi met eyes. In that moment, she felt like he was the only person in the room who was as uncomfortable as she was. “I’ll just give you guys a minute,” Shaun mumbled, brushing past Adam and making a bee-line toward Yoshi.
“Don’t go. Shaun.” Adam reached out and grabbed a hold of Shaun’s arm when she kept right on walking past him. His eyes searched hers, slightly wide.
Shaun matched his hard stare. “You are not going to drag me into this shit show,” she whispered. “Now let me go.”
Adam’s eyes searched hers for just a second longer, a hint of a smile peeking through the hard line on his lips. “I’ll meet you later.”
“Mmhm.” Shaun said, hurrying toward Yoshi who was already well on his way to the doors of the backstage area. Shaun didn
’t know where those doors led but she knew whatever was on the other side had to be better than what she was stewing in right now. Adam and Veronica clearly had history—an unfinished one at that—and Shaun was in no hurry to get all tangled up in it.
Yoshi, clearly feeling the same vibe, was still making his way towards the door. He made sure to check over his shoulder every once in a while, looking for Shaun.
Their eyes locked and Shaun smiled. It was a nice feeling to have someone looking to see if she was okay, if she was behind him.
Yoshi held the door open for her. It led to a massive parking lot lined with buses. Circling the parking lot was a long line of gates where hundreds of waiting fans screamed at the top of their lungs the moment they saw Yoshi. Shaun hesitated at the sight only long enough for a large black van to pull right in front of her and Yoshi, blocking their view of the screaming fans.
Yoshi placed his hand on the small of her back as she passed. “Welcome to the madness, Shaun.”
--
Later that night they managed to land at a rundown bar named Frieda’s. Shaun sat between Yoshi and Zach ‘Noodle’ Kernoodle, The White Keys’ bass player, at the bar--which was so wall to wall with people that the three of them were literally shoulder to shoulder. Usually being this close to people she didn’t know well made Shaun uneasy. Thankfully, Noodle and Yoshi were very easy to be around.
Behind them groups of friends and strangers ate, drank and grinded on the dance floor to an oddly wonderful combination of pop and western music. The smoke filling the walls from corner to corner had taken some getting used to, but Shaun was in good company. Yoshi was easy to talk to and Noodle was hilarious. Shaun remembered Adam telling her that Noodle was a ‘fucking idiot’ and as she listened to his stories and jokes she felt like that was unfair. Sure, Noodle was… a little left of center, but he clearly had a good heart. She wished she’d taken more time to get to know them when she’d first met them at the video shoot, but she hadn’t believed she’d ever see them again. Though the shoot had been just weeks ago, Shaun felt like it had been a lifetime.
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